Facets:The caregiver perspective
Hello All It is very difficult to articulate all the various aspects of dealing with a loved one once a diagnosis of cancer has been made. In my case it was my beloved husband, Joe who was diagnosed with cancer. It happened suddenly and we happened to live in a rural part of South Dakota. We were told that his outlook was dismal and were given no hope. After the shock wore off we decided to fight back. This led us to go to UCD in California for treatments that included radiation and chemotherapy. Treatments were lengthy {5 months} and we were fortunate that we could stay at the Kiwannis house located on the hospital compound. It was cheaper than a hotel but was very expensive due to the length of treatment. This was where I met Stefani. I was a basket case. Weeping, afraid, and unsure of how I could handle this stressful road and be the strong person that I needed to be to get Joe and I through this journey. Stefani was also staying at the Kiwannis house and for a reason that is inexplicable took me under her wing. First, she made me "buck up and grow a spine" and became a great source of inspiration to me and Joe. It is natural to feel the thousand of negative emotions that come with a life altering event but the need to take charge and head for the battle of your life must supercede any desire to give into the moment. You must be prepared to fight for your loved one and not accept that your loved one is going to die. You must find an inner strength that you did not know existed and find that spiritualty that God graced you with and plug away into that blackness knowing that there is light at the end of the tunnel. The journey is filled with a lot of very scary events where every test, every treatment can be seen as failure or a victory. Months and months of ups and downs can be discouraging but be prepared for a wild ride and an amazing journey. I have met so many cancer patients, many like Stefani have become lifelong friends. It is with these shared maladies that the patients shared their experiences, what works, what does not work, what to eat, etc. The insight that you gain with other people that are going through what you are is invaluable, endearing, sad, but a necessary part of the journey. The support system we develop as we go through the journey cannot be stressed enough will help with the emotional upheavel. There are also needs that are not talked about such as th small needs that every patient has such as ability to feed oneself, toiletries, clothing etc. There are multiple "comfort" items not always assessible to the patient and not addressed by the various institutions that care for a cancer patient.
