#f2f:tru

Tru stumbled as she stepped from the taxi, a laugh ringing from her lips as she made her way up to the front door of her house.  Rummaging in her purse for the keys she rang the bell several times as well before she retrieved the item.  Lifting the correct one to the door her hand slipped as she tried to fit it into the lock.  Trying again and again she finally let out a loud sigh before cheering as the door opened.  “Ah Starling, my hero,” she giggled, tripping as she stepped over the threshold.

Rosaline awoke with a start when she heard the bell ring and a strange scratching noise coming from the front door.  Still groggy from her extremely stressful night of worrying and crying she struggled to get herself off the floor and to her feet and her vision was still cloudy as she rubbed her eyes and stumbled to the front door.  “M’coming…” she murmured, far too quietly to be heard.  Pulling the door open she had to blink several times before Tru came into focus - and more importantly the Domme’s state became clear.  “Miss!?”  Her voice creaked with an onslaught of conflicting emotions but it was anger that seemed to win as she slammed the door behind the blonde “Where have you been?” She shrieked, unable to hold back, “I’ve been worried sick, have… have you just been out all night!?”

Tru let out a giggle at the pitch of Rosaline’s voice before putting her finger approximately to her lips and shushing the woman.  “Stop screeching at me,” she laughed as she dropped her purse in the middle of the hall and wandered through to the living room.  Flopping down on the couch she rubbed her hand over her face, “Are you always this loud?”

Rosaline was so upset that she was actually quiet when she was shushed, stunned into silence over how little Tru seemed to care about how upset she was and what she had been through since she had got home from her rehearsal.  Her mouth fell open and wobbled as tears welled in her eyes once again but Tru just walked away like it was nothing.  The distraught girl followed Tru as far as the living room door, watching her flop on the couch with a look of total betrayal on her face.  “I guess I’ve never needed to be this loud before,” she managed through sniffles and sobs in barely more than a whisper.  

Tru’s eyes closed as she lay down but she peeked one open to look curiously at Rosaline.  “Get me some water,” she said as she lifted her feet up, kicking her heels off so they landed over by the wall.  The domme was tired as her high began to wear off and she started to sober up.  There was some small thought nagging in the back of her head but she couldn’t put her finger on it so there was nothing to do but try to forget about it.  

Rosaline stood in pure shock as she was given orders and for the first time ever she considered refusing.  Instead she ran to the kitchen and fetched Tru her water, her caring instincts kicking in despite how she was feeling.  She slammed the glass down on the table next to Tru, spilling most of it.  She was unable to take any more so she stormed off to a cupboard and grabbed a blanket.  When she returned she threw it at the blonde without another word and stormed off again, running away upstairs but she didn’t want to go in their room so she locked herself in the bathroom instead.

Tru looked over in astonishment as the glass was slammed down though she began to chuckle as she saw all the water pooled around it.  Not really caring she leaned over and took a long drink, coughing as mid way through a blanket landed on top of her legs.  With a huge yawn Tru stood, stripped down to her panties and laid down on the couch.  Pulling the blanket over herself she curled up on the couch and promptly fell asleep.

Rosaline wanted to feel relieved that Tru was home, happy that her Domme had returned safe and well - to an extent any way - but she just couldn’t.  Her fatigue from being up most of the night and her continuously rising state of panic just had her wallowing in her own anger.  There were so many questions she wanted to ask, she wouldn’t have minded if Tru wanted to go on a massive drunken night out - she deserved to let off some steam, but why didn’t she let Rosaline know.  Why had there just been silence?  The painful memories of the night came flooding back to her and the submissive sunk onto the cold floor, curled up into a tiny ball and cried some more until finally she cried herself back into a cold, uncomfortable, distraught, uneasy sleep.

Tru awoke several hours later absolutely disorientated.  Her mouth was dry and her head absolutely spinning while also thumping, a feat she had rarely accomplished in recent memory.  The blonde soon realised that she was at home, naked and on the couch - none of which seemed to make sense to her.  More worryingly she had no idea where Rosaline was and with a loud groan she dragged herself to her feet and went to look for her.  

Checking the bedroom first Tru grabbed a robe as she saw one hanging on the hook by the door.  Catching sight of herself in the mirror she cringed at her running mascara and smeared lipstick and a flashback of just how the lipstick got smeared hit her.  Panic suddenly filled her as the image was so vivid and Tru dashed into the bathroom, emptying the remains of the night into the toilet.  It was only as she sat up again she spotted the brunette and watery eyes full of remorse met her beautiful Starling’s gaze.

Rosaline was woken up suddenly when her private sanctuary was invaded by a blonde clearly in a hurry to get to the toilet.  The submissive scowled as she watched, still feeling incredibly resentful but then their eyes met and the scowl shifted to a look far more hurt.  “You deserve that,” she growled, her voice scratchy and sounding exactly like she had been crying nearly all night.  She sat up on the floor, wincing as everywhere seemed to ache which she knew wasn’t just from her latest nap on the floor but from the night as a whole.  “I’m glad you’re not dead,” she couldn’t stop herself snarling, her voice now quivering as her emotions threatened to take over once more.  “Maybe if you hadn’t left it 17 hours to let me know I’d have offered to hold your hair.”

Tru didn’t say a word as Rosaline lashed out at her.  There was a part of her that knew she deserved it, the rest hadn’t woken up yet.  Still she didn’t say anything and let the younger woman vent at her.  Shifting uncomfortably on the ground Tru met her gaze again, “I’m sorry.  I hadn’t planned to…..”  Hadn’t planned to what?  Painful memories were coming back to her.  Lupo, the brothel, Lupo, the bar, Lupo, the white tablet, Lupo, Lupo.  “Oh God,” she cried out as she bent over the bowl again retching until there was nothing left.  As she sat back up she couldn’t even look at the brunette, her stomach was knotted and the room spinning again as she well and truly came down from her high.

“Hadn’t planned to what?” Rosaline spat back completely on impulse, her voice once again high and shrill but despite her anger seeing Tru throw up again brought her no pleasure.  As the retching continued the submissive automatically moved to hold back Tru’s hair in spite of herself, her free hand rubbing up and down the Domme’s back.  When it seemed like she was done Rosaline moved back once again, seeing what she assumed was shame and regret causing Tru to not be able to meet her gaze.  “Tru will ensure she keeps Rosaline informed of her plans as well.  If either party anticipates being late they will let the other know.  Rule 2,” Rosaline quoted their second claim rule as both a dig and a way of showing how hurt she was but she could also feel her anger dissipating, finally being replaced by relief that Tru was home.  Her fears of being abandoned had been unfounded and Tru was unharmed - beyond anything self inflicted any way.  “I assume you want coffee?  I sure as hell do,” she murmured and backed out of the bathroom, shuffling down to the kitchen as fast as her weary legs would carry her.

Tru laid her head in her hands as her own submissive quoted her rules back at her.  It was a long time since the domme could recall feeling so horrendous and not just because of her hangover.  As she shifted again, on the hard bathroom floor she could feel the after effects of her night with Lupo and she began to shiver.  The last thing Tru wanted was coffee but she was very cold and aware that she smelt of alcohol and sex, neither strange considering her profession but neither appropriate at this time.

She stripped out of her robe and panties, noting with disgust that they were torn at the waistband.  They needed thrown out as soon as possible but she couldn’t put them in the bathroom bin because Rosaline would see them and that would raise questions that the blonde didn’t want to answer.  Making her way into the shower Tru turned it on hot and attempted to wash away some of the nightmare which was still to come.

Rosaline caught sight of herself in one of the full length mirrors on the way to the kitchen and shook her head.  Her eyes were bright red and bloodshot from all the crying with rings so dark all around them they looked like they were sinking.  Patches of makeup from the previous day still clung desperately to tiny sections of her face but most of it had been cried away and she had the tracks to prove it.  Her hair, which she normally prided herself on just screamed ‘slept on the floor’ and was a tassouled and fuzzy mess - it would take a lot of work to fix but right then and there she just couldn’t be bothered.  Her clothes also bore the signs of her stressful night and she wondered for a moment if they would ever come properly clean.

The submissive sighed with relief when she heard the shower be turned on.  She had accepted from the start that the smells associated with Tru’s work would have to come home with her but the smell of man which had radiated from the Domme this time had got to Rosaline far more than usual in her heightened emotional state.  She shook her head, trying to push those thoughts away as she focused on making her much needed coffee.  Before long she heard the shuffling of footsteps approaching and she glanced over her shoulder.  “Feeling better Miss?”  She asked softly, using Tru’s title for the first time since the Domme returned as a way of showing her anger had ebbed at least enough to be civil.

Tru took a long time in the shower as she tried to eradicate the night but no matter how much she scrubbed she could still feel him and all that he represented.  She came out of the shower cold as usual and grabbed a towel to wrap around herself but by the time she made it into the bedroom she was shivering a lot.  Dressing in thick pyjama bottoms and two jumpers she made her way to the kitchen in search of painkillers.

Her eyes widened as she saw Rosaline, noticing for the first time since she got home just how disheveled the submissive looked and she frowned at the sight.  “A little,” she replied though she considered replacing the word ‘better’ with ‘cleaner’.  Opening the drawer Tru pulled out a packet and getting a glass of water quickly swallowed down two.  She was still so cold and pouring herself a big mug of coffee she headed back to the living room, pulling the blanket that had earlier been thrown at her, tight around her shoulders.  “Is the heating on?” she asked, curled up against the corner of the couch, her head resting on the cushion behind her.

Rosaline watched as Tru got her painkillers and coffee, she so desperately wanted to say something but the words just wouldn’t come so instead she replied with a non-descript “That’s good,” and pretended to continue looking at her phone.  She heaved a big sigh once Tru had left the room but as she looked around and the plates full of burned to a crisp food caught her eye she knew she had to try harder to make amends.  This was definitely the worst morning they’d had since becoming a couple and she didn’t want to make it any worse.

Picking up her own coffee she moved through to the living room and her brows furrowed at the question.  “Yeah, it’s… kinda warm in here actually.”  Seeing Tru so tightly wrapped up caused Rosaline’s concern to spike straight away and she moved closer.  “Are you ok Miss?” she asked, placing a hand on the Domme’s arm, even under all the layers she could feel her shivering.  “Oh my God,  you’re freezing!”  She exclaimed and quickly ran to grab more blankets.  She wrapped the blankets all around Tru, making sure there was no part of her that wasn’t completely covered and her concern was clear in her exhausted eyes.  “Is that better?  Is there anything you need?  Is there anything I can do?”

Tru could feel warmth start to seep into her body as Rosaline bundled her up and she gave a small shake of her head at the question.  “Stop fussing Rosaline,” she snapped as she laid her head against the back of the couch, closing her eyes as the room spun again.  It had been years since she had come down off a high and the effects were certainly not pleasant.  She’d forgotten how it felt.  Part of her knew that Rosaline was just concerned and she should offer her comfort but she also felt her body tighten in irritation at the continued watching.  “Go and have a shower, get changed,” she said with a little less bite but clearly an order still.

Rosaline was completely taken aback by the sudden snapping and her hands left the blankets as if they had just electrocuted her.  She stood completely dumbfounded for a moment and wanted to ask why Tru was acting so strangely but didn’t dare.  A thought from the previous night returned to her and it was Rosaline’s turn to feel cold.  She was being punished for something, she just wished she knew what.  That thought was seemingly confirmed when she was sent away.  Whatever she had done must have been bad for Tru to not even want her in the room.  “Yes Miss,” she replied, voice cracking as tears began to trickle down her cheeks again.  How could she not know what she’d done if it deserved punishments this harsh? The submissive shuffled her way towards the door but her over emotional state caused her to stop as panic started to rise in her once again.  What if Tru left again while she was showering? Is that why she was being sent away?  She turned around again and dropped to her knees with a thud then clasped her hands together behind her back and bowed her head.  “I’ll go for a shower Miss but please tell me what I’ve done wrong and why I’m being punished like this.  I’m sorry I don’t know what I’ve done, I know I should.  But if I know what it is I can think about it while I’m in the shower and when I come back I’ll be better prepared to accept your punishment.”  Her voice had increased in pitch again due to her panic and the words tumbled quickly from her, punctuated by sobs and sniffles.

Tru looked down at the kneeling submissive with a confused look.  “Nobody is being punished,” she said, her words slurring a little.  “I’m tired and I’m going to sleep.  You can shower or not, it’s up to you.  You just look untidy so I thought you would want to.”  With that Tru turned her head to rest against the cushion and shut her eyes, her hangover and come down catching up with her.

Rosaline was completely confused and it was written all over her face as she looked up at Tru with wide, horrified eyes.  Her mouth opened and closed several times before she found her voice again and when she did her biting, accusatory tone was back in full force.  “If this isn’t a punishment then what the hell is it?”  Her mind reeled from the revelation that all this wasn’t an elaborate punishment and she felt a boiling hot anger rising within her, the likes of which she hadn’t had since living with her parents.  If she wasn’t being punished why had she been left all night to worry and stress, why was she being snapped at for trying to take care of Tru?  “I just want to understand what the fuck is going on!  I was up all night worrying about you!  I thought you were dead!  I called the hospital, I called the Watch and now...” Words failed her and were replaced by strange, choked sounds but the rage soon took hold once again.  “Now you ignore me!?  And make me feel bad because I care and try to look after you?”  The submissive had no idea when she had risen to her feet but she was suddenly acutely aware of her entire body shaking with rage.  Maybe it was an overreaction but she felt utterly abandoned by the Domme before her, despite her being in the room.  “I wish I was being punished,” she shrieked, “at least then you know when you’re hurting me!”

Rosaline couldn’t take any more and she spun round quickly and stormed out of the room, she grabbed the first pair of shoes that she found in the hallway but nothing else, she just wanted to get away so she wouldn’t be hurt any more.  The tears and sobs began anew as she practically ran down the hallway towards the front door, which she slammed behind her before running.  She had no idea where to and didn’t care.  She just ran.

Tru rubbed her face over her hands in frustration, she just wanted to sleep and Rosaline was shouting on about something.  When had Tru said she was punishing the submissive?  It had happened occasionally but not for a while and certainly not in the past day.  Before she could respond Rosaline ran out of the room and Tru wasn’t in a position to move fast.  By the time she got herself out from her nest of blankets she heard the front door slam.

“Fuck!” she screamed as she slammed her hand down on the coffee table and knocking over a glass.  The domme had rarely felt so out of control, not in recent memory anyway and now her submissive, her submissive had just run out the door and away from her.  It wasn’t Rosaline’s fault, even in her fuzzy state Tru was quite clear on that.  She needed to talk to her, to get her back and talk to her so she dragged herself off the couch and went to find her phone.  

Pulling it out of her purse she found it was out of battery so she made her way to the kitchen and plugged it in.  It took a moment to spring back into life but before Tru could make the call she noticed the number of missed calls, the text messages, the voice mails.  She read through each text and listened to each call, her heart breaking a little more each time as she could hear the panic grow in Rosaline’s voice.  “Oh my darling,” she cried out as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Tru didn’t know that guilt could make you feel this horrendous.  She was torn between wanting to curl up in bed and just cry and hide away for a long time.  Not that many years ago her solution would have been to find Lupo again and make sure she didn’t feel anything for several days but that wasn’t an option now.  She had to find Rosaline and somehow start to repair the damage she had done.

Calling the brunette’s phone Tru took a deep breath, “Starling, I need you to come home.  I’m sorry my sweetheart, I truly am and I will explain everything, answer any questions you have but please, please my good girl, please come home now.”

Rosaline didn’t get far.  She was still exhausted and the morning air was still bitterly cold which made it harder for her to breathe nevermind run as well.  She leaned against a wall, wheezing as her breath rose in a cloud around her.  She felt like crying again but was too angry and yet despite that she already felt a pang of guilt for running away.  Her rollercoaster of emotions continued and she banged the back of her head against the wall a number of times as if trying to knock some sense into herself.  It didn’t work, it just added a new feeling of discomfort to her already tortured body.

Feeling a buzzing in her back pocket the submissive pulled her phone out and felt a new spike of rage as she saw the ID picture for Tru on the screen.  It was a photograph of the two of them together, both wearing stupid hats and grinning from ear to ear.  Letting her anger get the better of her she let her voicemail cut in rather than answering - the angry part of her seeing the actions as a form of revenge for the night before.  The picture popped up again straight away though and the more she gazed at it the more regret she felt.  Her finger trembled over the answer button but she was too slow and the voicemail cut in once again.

The third time Tru called, Rosaline answered.  She said nothing but the moment she heard Tru’s voice she felt herself calming down.  “It’s not nice not hearing anything is it Miss?” She growled, not quite calmed down enough to not be mean but Tru had used her nickname, called her ‘Good Girl’ and offered answers which was all it took for her feet to start carrying her back the way she came.  “Add a hot chocolate to the list and I’ll come home, it’s cold out here.”  Even to her it sounded petty but she wanted to add something which Tru would have to ‘do’ in order to get her back and that was all that came to mind.

Tru began to panic as she spoke but there was no response.  Her heart was racing and her eyes closed in relief as Rosaline made it clear it was just showing her how it felt.  There was  a flicker of amusement as the submissive told her to add a hot chocolate to the list but there was no way the domme would refuse.  “I’ll see you soon Starling,” she said quietly as she ended the call and immediately went to put on the milk to heat up.

The smell of hot chocolate filtered through the house by the time Tru heard the door and she poured it into a cup.  Her own stomach was still in knots and knowing she had promised to talk to the brunette didn’t make it any better.  She placed the mug on the table and sat down on the opposite side waiting for the door to open.  Her heart broke when she truly saw the state of her beautiful girl.  “Oh Starling….I’m so sorry.  I never meant to make you so worried or upset, I’m so sorry.”

Rosaline had thought her appearance couldn’t get any worse that morning but a quick sprint down the road and subsequent jog back to keep warm proved her wrong.  She had been a mess before, now she was a total wreck.  She felt instantly better as the smell of hot chocolate reached her nose the moment she opened the door.  That had definitely been a good decision.  She went through to the kitchen and paused in the doorway when she saw Tru look at her but for the first time she could tell the Domme saw her and seeing the familiar concern in her pretty blue eyes actually made a small smile curl onto her lips.

The submissive nodded in acknowledgement of the apology, not entirely sure how to respond.  She sat down in the chair nearest the hot chocolate and wrapped her hands around the mug, staring into the dark liquid for several long moments.  Finally she forced her dark to look at Tru.  “M’sorry I ran away Miss,” she murmured in barely more than a whisper and then dragged in a deep, shuddering breath.  “I find it really hard when people don’t turn up when they’re meant to.  I… I thought you understood that.”  Her eyes began to well with tears and her jaw shook as she breathed in again.  “I was so scared you’d abandoned me too…”  She sniffed loudly and shook her head violently causing her tousled hair to fly around and knot up some more.  “I assume there’s a bar somewhere in town that’s closing because you drank it dry?”  She asked in a desperate attempt at humour, not wanting to dwell too much on herself as her concern over Tru’s strange behaviour was still there.

Tru sighed, not in frustration at Rosaline or her admittance but at her own behaviour.  Of course she knew the brunette had issues with being left alone and she had forgotten that in amongst everything else.  She swallowed deeply as she could feel her throat tightening and her eyes begin to water.  Now was not a time to cry, she had stopped doing that  a long time ago but it had been a long time since she had let someone down so badly.

She could hear the attempt at humour in the submissive’s voice and she badly wished she could agree that was what she had been doing but she had promised honesty and these things always had a habit of coming back to haunt you.

“I….I wasn’t at a bar.  I was at a friend’s house,” she began slowly and softly.  “Someone I’ve known for a very long time, someone who used to be a close….acquaintance of mine.”  She chose her words carefully.  Trying to minimise the pain they would cause if that was possible.  Admitting it was an acquaintance from long ago was as close as she would come just now to confirming he was from her old life.  

“He found me outside the brothel….I was upset, I didn’t know quite what to do and he spoke with me for a bit and then we….erm, we went back to his place.”  God this was hard, words she never thought she would have to say just choked in her throat, not willing to spring free and shatter her happiness.

Rosaline drew on every single piece of acting training she had received to try and not react to Tru saying she wasn’t at a bar but she failed and her eyebrows rose.  She lifted her mug of hot chocolate to buy herself some time as the image she had produced of Tru having such a good time at a huge party shattered into a thousand pieces.  The fact the blonde hadn’t been in a noisy bar made the non-answering of her calls hurt even more but there was something more concerning to her.  The words Tru chose, the stumbling over words it just wasn’t like her and it made Rosaline feel uneasy as her stomach twisted painfully.

“Is this… acquaintance anyone I might know, or someone you’ve mentioned before?”  It was likely she would have no idea who he was, afterall a lot of Tru’s past was still a mystery and the submissive had never asked for details, only accepted them when they were offered as she knew a lot of the memories were painful.  She wanted to mention how she’d offered to help with the brothel, how she’d offered to miss rehearsals to be there for Tru but that would put the focus back on her.  Still, it hurt that her Domme had turned to an acquaintance rather than her.

“You know I’ll do anything I can to help you Miss.  I’m sorry you were upset and I wasn’t there…” she fell silent again for a moment as she took another sip of her drink.  “It’s good you weren’t alone.  I guess it was like when I meet up with old friends, we crack open the drinks cabinet, reminisce on old times then put the world to rights and lose track of time.  Before you know it either one or both of you have passed out or the sun's coming up and it’s become an all nighter without realising.”  She sighed, there had to be more to it than that but she didn’t know how to ask.  “You could have told me.  I wouldn’t have minded that you wanted to get blind drunk and forget your problems for a few hours… you let me do it enough so I understand.  Did you mix lots of drinks?  I don’t think I’ve ever seen you as hungover as you were this morning.  It… it was like I didn’t exist to you some of the time and when I did it felt like you didn’t want me to.  I was only trying to help.”

Tru put her head in her hands, her stomach twisting painfully as Rosaline tried to explain away the domme’s actions and justify them.  She lifted her head and looked into these gorgeous bright eyes which had a haunted red edge to them today, an effect that Tru knew she had caused.  The submissive trusted her and she had betrayed that trust in the worst possible way but she couldn’t lie, her heart just wouldn’t let her.

“I was drinking whisky,” she began, her voice cracking already.  “You don’t know him, the man I was with.  His name…..his name’s not important.  He….”  God this was so hard, no matter how she tried she wasn’t going to be able to make it sound any better than it was.  “He is my old dealer.”  Her gaze stayed down on the table as she let that word sink in, as if to give Rosaline some clue what was coming.  “I met him outside the brothel and he was comforting me.  We went back to his for a drink and somewhere along the evening he….erm he offered me something and I took it.”  She glanced up for a second, not sure what she expected to see on the submissive’s face but instantly feeling that she needed to explain herself further.

“I couldn’t drag you into what I needed last night.  I know you would have done anything to make me feel better but I couldn’t promise not to hurt you.  He knows me….he knows that side of me, the side I don’t like and keep well hidden but with everything that has happened I just….I had to let go and I’m so sorry.  I got drunk and high and well one thing led to another and...we fucked.  That’s all it was, no feelings, no attachment -  just a moment of madness and I’m so sorry my darling.”  Tru laid her head in her hands, the words spoken and now she couldn’t take them back.  One stupid evening could cost her everything but she couldn’t stay quiet about it.

Rosaline’s nose scrunched up at the mention of whiskey, it was one of the few alcoholic drinks she wasn’t a fan of but she remained quiet, letting the Domme speak.  The submissive saw the colour drain from her hands and arms when the true nature of Tru’s acquaintance was revealed.  Despite how pale she had already turned through stress that day she knew it would be happening to her face too and the warm mug of chocolate in her hands suddenly felt hot as her body went cold. The mug started knocking on the table as her hands began to shake as she continued to listen, she knew nothing good could come from an encounter with an old dealer but once she found out how bad things were she was sure they would deal with it together.  She opened her mouth to say as much, to say something positive and as Tru’s gaze rose to meet hers she offered a supportive smile.  She had her explanation into Tru’s erratic behaviour and felt they could move on. But then the blonde kept speaking, words pouring from her and with each new revelation Rosaline felt more and more nauseous.  For a long time she just stared, eyes filled with pain and betrayal as she desperately tried to process what she had just been told.  “You... you cheated.”  She wasn’t shouting, quite the opposite actually as her words were barely more than a whisper yet she was sure the words filled the room more than her shouting had.  “You cheated on me...”. The drugs suddenly became completely unimportant to her and her emotion ravaged brain locked onto Tru’s betrayal. She was on her feet again without realising, moving to look out of the window so that she didn’t have to look at Tru any more.  Her voice was soft but tremoured with barely controlled emotion when she spoke again.  “You left me all alone, panicking, terrified.  So that you could get wasted and fuck somebody else... because you didn’t want to hurt me?”  She knew she was twisting Tru’s words but she really didn’t care.  Her rage finally consumed her and Rosaline spun around suddenly, glaring at Tru with eyes filled with betrayal and agony.  She’d spun so fast the mug in her hand slipped from her fingers and ended up smashing against a wall.  “How the fuck am I not meant to be hurt?”  She wailed, tears streaming down her cheeks as her whole body visibly shook.

Tru cringed at the summary Rosaline proposed.  She summed it up perfectly in that the domme had left her submissive all night while she was with someone else.  Being drunk and high was something else again, it was the cheating that Rosaline focused on and if Tru was  honest that’s the part she would have fixated on too.  

Shuddering as the mug hit the wall she glanced up at the tear streaked face, the words twisting in her heart.  The brunette’s hurt was evident but Tru had no words to answer her with.  The deed was done and she couldn’t change it, no matter how badly she might regret it.  That was always Lupo’s deal though, he had a way of getting under her skin so when she was vulnerable it became almost inevitable.  

“I’m sorry,” she whispered again.  “It was stupid but I can’t change what I did.  I don’t blame you for hating me.”  She looked over to the window, her eyes watery and on the verge of the first real tears she had cried in a long time.

Had Rosaline been thinking straight she would have recognised the tears in Tru’s eyes as the first time she had ever seen her Domme close to crying, there had been tears of laughter and joy over something stupid but Rosaline had always been the crier, not Tru.  But the submissive was most definitely not thinking straight and in her eyes “sorry” just wasn’t going to cut it with how hurt she was feeling.  “Hate you?”  She repeated, voice getting shriller as well as louder.  “I love you.  You are my world, my everything.  There is not a moment that goes by that i’m not thinking of you.  I just don’t know what I am to you any more.  Not now.”

“Rosaline will not engage in sexual acts with anyone apart from her Domme, Rule 3,” she practically screamed as she quoted their claim rules again having made a point of memorising them the moment they had been approved.  “But clearly Tru can fuck whoever the hell she wants, when she wants!”  She knew her words were hurtful but her anger kept driving her onwards and she was sure she actually heard the crack of her heart breaking.  “You have the whole fucking city queuing up to pay you to fuck them or do unthinkable things to them and I accept that, I bury every thought of you with someone else so deep they can never be found but that’s still not enough for you?  You have to cheat as well!?”

The submissive spun around again and slammed her balled up fist down on the counter hard, pain flashed through her fingers, wrist and up her arm but strangely that grounded her and she stood, breathing heavily with her back to Tru.  “I just… I need to understand… Why am I not enough?  What am I not giving you that you need?  Why could you not come to me?  What is so hateful about me that you felt the need to…” She couldn’t bring herself to say the word again but spun around to face Tru once more.  “I would let you break every bone in my body one by one if I thought it was what you needed and would make you feel better.  And I would do it because I know you would look after me until I had fully recovered… at least I thought you would.”  The respite from her anger was waning and she could feel it rising again as she thought more and more about what Tru had done.  “I would do anything for you!  Anything! So please… I need to know why!”

Tru didn’t want to get angry.  It was her in the wrong, there was no question of that but the incessant questions were beginning to get to her.  She laid her head in her hands at the idea of breaking Rosaline’s bones and shook her head.  “That’s a ridiculous analogy,” she snapped with more vigor than she really meant.  “That would be absolute abuse.”  She was on very thin ice considering what she had just done but her head hurt and she was exhausted and Rosaline kept screeching about crazy things and the domme was struggling to maintain her patience.  

“It wasn’t about love or dominance or anything like that.  You’re too young to understand.  It was pure sex and lust - that’s all.  I don’t feel anything for him and I’m sure he would say the same about me.  With you I feel too much but with him there’s nothing but that moment and I don’t expect you to understand but that’s what it is.”

Rosaline was getting more and more frustrated with Tru’s lack of responses to her questions, upon reflection she would realise there really wasn’t much the Domme could say, and certainly nothing that would make the submissive feel better but caught in the moment as she was that didn’t matter.  “Abuse!?” She screeched, her voice cracking and her arms threw out to the side.  “What do you call this!? Look at me! Look at what you’ve done to me… Look at what you’ve done to us!”

The ‘too young’ comment was the final straw and Rosaline lost all semblance of control.  She threw her hands up in the air and just screamed until she had no air left in her lungs.  She couldn’t take any more, her heart was breaking into a thousand pieces and instead of receiving words of comfort or explanations so that she might be able to understand she was being coddled and told she was too young.  Did Tru really think that little of her?

“I guess I better find somewhere I can do some growing up then,” she snarled viciously and strided over to the table to grab her phone.  In her haste she knocked her keys to the floor but was in far too much of a hurry to stop and pick them up.  For the second time ever and yet also the second time that day all she wanted was to be away from Tru so she marched down the hallway, flung open the door and ran through it back into the bitter cold air.  Even slamming the door was too much effort and would have taken too much time so she left it open and just ran.

Tears were streaming from her eyes so fast that she couldn’t even tell where she was going and and she had no concept of how long she ran for.  She only stopped when her body quite literally made her and she collapsed in a wheezing, shaking heap.  ‘We fucked.’ Tru’s words echoed over and over again in her mind and the utterly broken submissive curled up into a ball and cried.

When she couldn’t cry any more Rosaline managed to force herself to sit up and it was then that she suddenly became acutely aware of something cold resting on her collarbone.  Raising a hand, her fingers found the small, discrete collar she wore for performances.  Normally it was instantly replaced by her main one when Tru returned home but given the events of the last few hours that hadn’t happened.  The heartbroken girl curled all her fingers from both hands around the collar but hesitated.  This wasn’t what she wanted.

“We fucked...”

Rosaline pulled on the collar with all her might, had it been her main one she would have had no chance but the performance collar was far weaker.  She could feel the metal digging deeply into her neck and she tried to force her head back as she continued to pull.  With a tiny ‘pop’ something in the collar broke and it was released from around her neck.