#f1angst

"Emanuel be careful!" You yelled to the 6-year-old kid at your care as he excitedly climbed up the stairs to the slide in the park close to home that you visited every day.

"Y/N Look Look!" Manu screamed as he positioned himself atop the slide ready to glide down.

"Wow! You're so-" You were distracted by the aggressive sound of tyre screeching.

You saw a black car stop in front of the park, two men getting out quickly hopping out the car as they rushed towards Emanuel.

"EMANUEL COME HERE!" You were faster than you'd ever done in your life towards him as you pressed the small button on the bracelet Carlos had made for you, a matching one adorning Manu's wrist. A panic button.

"Y/N!" Emanuel yelled your name scared as he sensed the sudden danger.

Emanuel was at the top of the slide and you were just able to reach it just before the men closed in.

"EMANUEL!" In desperation, you yanked him down from the top of the slide injuring him slightly in the process.

You clutched him tightly against your chest as you started running the men close behind you.

"SOMEBODY HELP!" You screamed in deep fear as you could feel the presence of the men right there.

You felt them clutch your hair and in pure instinct, you dropped Emanuel. "MANU RUN!" You yelled hoping to at least deter the men giving Manu a chance to run while Carlos and his men arrived.

You were yanked backward with force but didn't let your mind process the pain as you immediately clutched at both men holding them back from getting to Manu.

"PAPA!" You heard Manu's sobs although felt relief as you heard more tires screeching and soon after the men running away.

You rushed to get up getting to Emanuel.

"Manu, are you okay?" You held his face trying to examine him for injuries, your heart skipping a beat at the small bruise forming on his temple probably from when you yanked him off the slide.

"PAPA!" Manu screamed as he continued sobbing terrified. He got up running away towards his father who had quickly found his way to his son.

"Emanuel estás bien? (are you okay?)" Carlos examined his son as you did noticing the bruise, his eyes darkened in anger.

"Tras ellos! (go after them!)" He yelled at his men as they got in their cars to chase after the men.

"Carlos they came out of nowhere I-" You got up suddenly feeling the piercing pain shooting through your body from the way you were yanked back.

"You should've paid more attention!" Carlos screamed at you angrily as she held Emanuel trying to soothe him.

"Carlos I was-" Your attempts at explaining were futile.

"Why were you even here alone! You're fucking smarter than this! He got hurt and it's all your fault!" Carlos was seething, completely blinded by his anger and his terrified child in his arms.

"I'm sorry I-" This time you were fighting to talk through your own tears both of guilt and pain. Carlos had never raised his voice with you, even less after you started getting closer, crossing the line of boss-employee.

"Get in the fucking car!" He cut you off once more.

The car ride back to the house was silent except for the sniffles of both you and Emanuel.

"Y/n are you okay?" Emanuel asked from the car seat next to you on the back seat.

"I'm fine Manu. I'm sorry I hurt you." you held his small hand.

"It's okay, you were trying to save me." Manu offered you a small smile tugging at your heartstrings. "You're bleeding." He pointed out at your fingers.

You had some blood probably from cluthing at the men trying to stop them from getting to Manu.

"I'm okay." You quickly hid your hands away from him offering him a smile of your own.

You pulled up at the house and once again Carlos didn't say a word although you could tell he had significantly calmed down. He grabbed Emanuel taking him inside.

You watched them go taking a second to yourself as the pain you know felt across your whole body was presenting itself fully. You struggled to undo your belt and get out of the car with ease.

Once you got inside you could hear the shower running and you knew Carlos was getting Manu cleaned up giving you some time to clean yourself up before needing to look after Manu again...if Carlos would even want you to again.

Carlos POV:

"Manu, are you sure you're okay?" Carlos asked his son for the umpteenth time as he brushed his hair.

"Yes, Papa I just got scared but y/n protected me," Manu replied as he played with his figurines.

Carlos's heart ached knowing he was entirely too harsh on you but the terror that invaded his body was unlike anything he'd felt before when he saw you'd activated your panic button, it was something he wished you'd never had to use. As he drove to you and Manu a million terrifying thoughts raced through his head of what could be happening.

Once he turned the corner he saw the way you dropped Manu as the men yanked you back, you fighting to keep them away from his son. He was terrified for Emanuel but equally terrified for you which translated to anger. He was surprised at his own emotions taking over him, evidencing how much he truly cared for you.

"You were mean to her Papa." Carlos was snapped out of his thoughts. He looked at his son through the mirror in front of them, a frown on his son's face.

"I know Manu. I was very mean." Carlos admitted ashamed.

Once he got Manu to bed he knew he had to go see you. He walked to your room, he heard the shower running and he took the liberty to step in.

He saw your clothes, a few rips in them making a mental note to get you knew clothes tomorrow. He stripped before heading into your bathroom.

His heart broke at the sight of you. Watered blood rushed down your shaking body as you cried. Your back was facing the door so you didn't see him come in but the glass walls of the shower permitted him to see the fresh scratches on your back.

Carlos opened the shower door stepping in with you. You jumped when you felt his arm snake around your waist.

"Shh it's me, baby," Carlos whispered.

You continued crying, looking down and avoiding his eyes.

"I'm so sorry for screaming at you." Carlos turned you around gently careful not to hurt you further.

"I tried to protect him. I swear I did everything I could." Your eyes were puffy from all the crying you'd done which only broke Carlos's heart further. He hated himself for being the cause of it.

"I know. I know baby. You did, you protected him. He's safe." Carlos pulled you close kissing your temple and he felt you finally relax on his chest.

"I'm really sorry." You cried in his chest.

"No shhh. I'm sorry, I'll never forgive myself for screaming at you. I'm sorry I was just so scared." Carlos apologized again and again.

You finally looked up to meet his eyes, your crying dying down. You nodded accepting his apology. "My body really hurts."

Carlos stood by the large window of his office, the city's skyline shimmering in the distance, but his thoughts were far from the beautiful view. His hands were tucked deep into his pockets, his shoulders tense. The room was silent, except for the occasional ticking of a clock on the wall, yet the quiet only made his thoughts louder. It had been days since the incident with Emanuel, but the image of you protecting his son while narrowly escaping harm still gnawed at him.

He had yelled at you. Blown up in a way that wasn't just harsh but cruel, completely disregarding your health and emotions. Even though he'd apologized, you hadn't been the same since.

Your name echoed in his mind now with every moment of your absence. You had become like a shadow in the house, moving through the halls quietly, barely speaking unless spoken to. You said you'd forgiven him, but he knew better than anyone that forgiveness didn't chase away the hurt.

He hated seeing you like this.

The guilt was worse than any business deal gone wrong, and betrayal he'd experienced before. Carlos had learned to control his emotions over the years, to never let weakness show. But when it came to you, that control seemed to crumble. He found himself thinking about the way your eyes darted away from him now, the way your voice grew smaller, quieter whenever he entered a room.

Even now, you were upstairs with Emanuel. Carlos could hear his son's laughter faintly echoing through the walls. You'd always had a way with Emanuel, a deep connection with him and it filled Carlos with both gratitude and envy. 

Emanuel was naturally drawn to you like no one else, not even to Carlos himself. Your gentleness, your quiet strength, those were qualities Carlos admired, qualities he'd hoped Emanuel would learn from you among others.

He pushed himself away from the window and walked toward the door. This needed to change. He needed to change it.

Upstairs, You sat on the floor with Emanuel playing with his toy cars. His giggles were infectious, and you couldn't help but smile softly, even though your heart still ached with the memory of the incident. Emanuel was your light in the house, the one constant that made everything else bearable.

"Vroom!" Emanuel zoomed a car across the bedspread, his dark hair falling into his eyes reminding you of his father. He glanced up at you. "y/n are you okay?" he asked. 

Your heart warmed at his caring personality, always attentive, gentle, and sweet. You smoothed a hand over his hair. "I'm fine, Manu. Just thinking that's all."

"You think a lot," he said innocently, his big brown eyes watching you just like his dads. "Daddy thinks a lot, too," he commented as he slid the car around. 

At the mention of Carlos, your stomach tightened. The memory of his anger after the incident still felt fresh, even though you knew he hadn't meant to lash out like that. He was protective of Emanuel, fiercely so, and in his world, the dangerous world that he lived in, fear often manifested as anger. But that didn't make the actions hurt any less.

Emanuel climbed into your lap, his little arms wrapping around you. You hugged him tightly, inhaling the familiar scent of his shampoo. You had been with him since he was just a baby, through every milestone. He was more than just your charge. He was like your own child, in some ways.

"Daddy's sorry, you know," Emanuel mumbled against your shoulder as if he could read my thoughts. "He told me."

You felt a pang in your chest. "I know, Manu." I kissed the top of his head. But knowing something wasn't the same as feeling it.

Carlos lingered in the hallway, just outside Emanuel's room. He could hear his son talking to you, and a pang of jealousy stirred within him. Emanuel was so open with you. There was something about the way you nurtured him, soothed him, that often made Carlos feel inadequate as a father.

He hadn't meant to overhear the conversation, but once he did, it was impossible to ignore the tightening in his throat. Emanuel was defending him, telling you that he was sorry. A child shouldn't have to do that. Carlos had to fix this now.

He knocked softly on the door before stepping inside. Emanuel beamed when he saw him.

"Daddy! Look! I made a race track!" he cheered excitedly. 

Carlos smiled, though his attention was more on you, who had quickly averted your eyes and stood, gently easing Emanuel off your lap.

"That's a great track, buddy," Carlos said, ruffling his son's hair. His tone was light, but his gaze stayed fixed on you, trying to gauge your reaction. 

You were quick to busy yourself by tidying up Emanuel's toys, your movements quiet and careful, as though your were trying to avoid him entirely.

"Y/n," Carlos called you, but you didn't meet his eyes.

"I'll give you two some time," You murmured, already heading toward the door.

Carlos's jaw tightened. He hated this distance, the way you were slipping away from him. The connection that had only just begun to get deeper it felt like it was fading. 

Before he could say anything else, you were gone, leaving him alone with Emanuel.

The next few days passed in a blur of careful avoidance. You were always around, tending to Emanuel, fulfilling your duties with the same love you always had. But with Carlos, you were different. 

You kept your distance, your words short and polite. It felt like a wall had been built between them, and every time Carlos tried to break through it, you retreated further.

But he didn't give up.

Little by little, he tried showing you how much you meant to him not with grand gestures, but with small, thoughtful acts. 

For example, one morning, he noticed you hadn't eaten breakfast before tending to Emanuel, so he left your favorite pastry on the kitchen counter, along with a note that simply read: 

For you. 

Love, Carlos. 

You hadn't said anything, but he saw the way your eyes softened just a little when you saw it.

Another time, he made sure to leave a fresh bouquet of flowers on the small table by the door you always passed when coming in from your afternoon walks with Emanuel. The flowers were the same kind you had mentioned in passing once, months ago, when you were cuddling together late at night, talking about nothing in particular. He remembered every detail.

Slowly, he began to break through. 

One evening, as the sun began to set, Carlos found you in the garden with Emanuel. The boy was chasing butterflies, his laughter filling the air. You sat on a bench, your gaze following Emanuel with that same tender smile that always seemed to grace your face when you were with him.

Carlos approached quietly, sitting beside you. You initially stiffened for a moment but didn't move away. A small victory Carlos thought.

"Y/n " he began softly. "I miss you."

Her hands stilled in her lap, her eyes fixed on Emanuel. "I'm here."

"You're here," he agreed, his voice low. "But not with me. Not like before."

You didn't answer right away. The silence stretched between you, heavy and charged. Finally, you spoke, your voice barely above a whisper. "I guess I was more hurt than I let on, Carlos. When you yelled at me like that... I was terrified, wracked with guilt and I guess I expected... I expected a little comfort from you as well."

Carlos clenched his fists, the weight of his guilt settling over him like a suffocating blanket. "I know. I'm sorry. More than you know."

For the first time in days, you turned to look at him. His brown eyes were full of pain, but there was something else there too, something softer, more vulnerable. 

"It's not just about the yelling Carlos. It's about what it means. I care about Emanuel more than anything in this world, I wouldn't do anything to put him in harm's way intentionally and I would give my own life to protect him...and I thought you... trusted me."

"I do trust you," he said, his voice urgent. "With my life. With Emanuel's life. What happened... it just scared me. I reacted badly, but it wasn't because I didn't trust you. I panicked when I saw the scratch on Emanuel's head, when I saw you on the floor, I...I let fear take over."

Your expression softened slightly, though the tension in your posture remained. You studied him momentarily, your gaze searching his face for something, truth, perhaps. Understanding. Maybe both.

"I hate this," Carlos said quietly. "I hate seeing you like this. I hate that I hurt you. I don't want us to be like this. I need you back."

Your eyes shimmered, a ray of sun hitting your eyes perfectly as the sunset, and for a brief moment, he thought he saw a crack in the wall you had started building around yourself.

"I don't want that either," you admitted softly.

He reached out then, gently taking your hand in his, locking his fingers with yours. You didn't pull away, and the warmth of your skin against his felt like home.

"I'm not good at this," he said, his thumb brushing over your knuckles. "But I want to be better, for you. For Emanuel. I care about you. More than I've let you know."

Your breath hitched slightly, your eyes widening. "Carlos..."

He squeezed your hand, his voice soft but firm. "I mean it. I love you."

For a moment, you just looked at him, your heart beating at lightning speed at his words. Then, slowly, she nodded. "Me too."

It was just two words, but to Carlos, it felt like everything.