Aug 10
Going for my first ever eye test tomorrow because I'll probably need glasses.
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Going for my first ever eye test tomorrow because I'll probably need glasses.
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How do people even get to driving with their face so close to their steering wheel that they can lick it? Surely if you’re short-sighted, being that extra bit closer to the wheel isn’t actually going to help you see what’s happening around you on the road in the scheme of things?
The eye tests didn't go great. They were blowing air into my eye to try and measure something, and it took 10 minutes to do correctly! I cried! I felt tears running from my left eye all the way down my face. It was miserable. Absolutely miserable. It did distract me from my really sore throat, but it didn't exactly make me feel perfectly. It actually kind of gave me a headache, largely because I had to keep adjusting my head. And the machines kept beeping, I kept moving, the air made me cry, I felt miserable. Now I just feel dire. A sore throat and a headache!? Gods, my luck is absolutely terrible.
I'm also still nervous about the rest of my eye exam, in large part because I worry I'm gonna feel judged. I know my optometrist probably won't judge me, but think about it. I've been wearing the same pair of glasses for 10 years or so. I've gotten other glasses with better prescriptions, but I refuse to wear them. I use the old ones with the bad prescription because I've formed an emotional attachment to them, and using anything else simply makes me feel wrong. I feel insane. And I worry people are gonna see me and judge me as a freak for all this. Well…freak is extreme language. Perhaps I wouldn't use that word. But I certainly worry people will judge me, anyways.
But my throat is still really sore. My throat is sore. My eyes are tired. My head hurts. I feel absolutely miserable! Horrible, uncomfortable, tired and drained of energy. I hate all of this so much. Why did I wake up with a sore throat!? Why!? I don't freaking know! But i hate it! I hate it so freaking much! But I'll be okay. I'll be okay. Even if my throat is horribly sore. They'll have to call me in for my appointment soon. And embarassment or not, I'll make it work. I'll have to. sigh…
Okay, that wasn't too bad. The eye doctor didn't seem too judgemental. So I felt kind of put at ease, and that made me feel better. So I'll be okay. The appointment went well. The part with blowing air into my eyes was miserable, but everything else was pretty good. So yeah, I'll be fine. I told my eye doctor I'll promise to work on wearing the new glasses. I promised, even though I'm scared and I really don't want to do it. But I'll live. I'll have to make do. Somehow, I'll make due. I don't know how to make it work for me, but I know I'll have to make it work somehow.
My throat still feels sore, though. I felt like I was going to lose my voice at one point when I was in the appointment. That made me feel pretty rough, but I know I'll be okay. In the long term, I'll be fine. But I struggle with it. I'm full of phlegm. I'm actively choking on phlegm as we speak. I bet that's contributing to my sore throat. But like…my sore throat is still probably a whole seperate thing to deal with. I worry my allergies are what causes my phlegm. But since I'm allergic to dust, dust is everywhere, and allergic reactions are apparently getting worse as climate change does it's thing…well, I'm just constantly scared of getting my phlegm to hound me forever.
But I know the sore throat isn't all caused by my allergies and my phlegm. Because while congestion and severe phlegm is an everyday occurrence at this point, sore throats aren't everyday occurences. I woke up at 6 am or so with a really sore throat today. But I didn't have this really sore throat when I woke up yesterday. So yeah, I don't like this at all.
Wait. Oh, I just had a grim thought. What if I'm getting sick? I feel like that's a possibility, sadly. I could be getting sick. I don't leave the house too often, after all. Yesterday was the first day in a while where I left the house to do a lot of stuff. And it doesn't sound impossible that I got sick because of that. So I don't know. Something could be going on. But maybe I'll be okay. Hopefully I'm not sick, but if I am…well, I'll deal with that then. And if I am sick, I'll also be really glad my dad chose not to work this week. So you know, it's the small things that really make a difference here. My dad having two weeks off from work would make me being sick more tolerable.
I'm still not sure if me and my dad are going to go play mini golf today. I'm thinking about it. I've never played mini golf before, I don't think. And I think it could be interesting to try it. But my throat is also still sore, and I don't yet know what the temperature is like outside. If the temperature is really bad outside, I don't know if I'll be willing to agree to go anywhere or do anything outside. So we'll see what it's like out there, and that'll determine what I'm willing to do today.
I've had an interesting night. I woke up at 2 am (probably due to stress about my eye exam today) and I fell back asleep. Then I woke up around 5:40 or so. I'm just gonna blame it on nerves surrounding the eye exam.
I'm still really nervous for my eye exam today. I don't know how to deal with it. I'm still really nervous about that, and I'm also dealing with a really sore throat. My throat is really sore. I hate it. I hate it so, so much. My throat is freaking sore and uncomfortable. I'm drinking ginger ale to cope with and handle it all.
I'm not sure if I'll go to mini golf with my dad today. The weather has changed from what they were predicting it would be. Now it's looking like it's gonna rain on us. And that's freaking frustrating. I hate it! sigh...
Eye puff tests always make me anxious like whyyyyy
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