#experimentingwithwellness

“To guide us we had, instead, Culture, which, at least when it comes to food, is really just a fancy word for your mother.” - Michael Pollan

If there is anyone that is following my posts, apart from just looking at the pictures you can easily tell that I find a strong interest in food culture. What exactly about it though? Addressing how food is as much a part of our being as it is a staple in the regions in which our heritage is from is an important distinction. The appreciation one can find from exploring another culture is huge- it marks what makes that society work, what the agriculture is, leading to what the climate is like, leading to create culinary adaptations necessary, telling us something about the economic state and so on, and so on. It is the adventurous part of us, the seeker that is playing with the unknown and the believer in a large and beautifully complex world.

Food that is part of our heritage is distinctly different. The approach is something innate, something we seek out not because of our curiosity about what our palate is capable of, but to visit something familiar- something we already know. Our “mothers” provided what they knew from their mothers- who had the ever-evolving knowledge of their ancestry. These meals provide warmth, comfort… identity. Our surroundings are not only a socio-economic map about where we are, it is part of who we are. 

I'm back into exercising! After the dreaded sprain that occurred while I was bouldering I am now able to move about relatively freely(as long as I am on a flat surface). The decision to do dance happened before my ankle got hurt and walking became difficult. One thing that has really resonated with me this past year is that I enjoy dancing. I wanted to end on an activity that I have been really wanting to do for a long time. Ballet is the only place I have started and can discuss now.

A few problems, outside of my ankle, occurred when I was thinking about doing dance. Most studios have classes at night. For people who work at night, as I do, it is hard to decide where to go or how to make it happen. Also, I wanted to do ballet. There are not a lot of Introduction to Ballet classes at all. Since I have absolutely no experience dancing in any technical sense my options were really limited because it's not like I could jump into any class that would work with my time schedule. Making my dream of dance come to fruition became harder than I thought.

Then came along suggestions from my super supportive friend Stacey. She used to do ballet, her best friend Sam who is a complete gem did also. So after talking about how I wanted to try it, Sam agreed to teach us introductory classes on her day off. Stacey geared into action and looked for studio spaces to rent. It turns out that studio spaces are relatively inexpensive. Granted, if you had to practice everyday the toll would dent the pocketbook for sure. We decided upon once a week and I am going to try to find a drop in studio that works with my schedule for other days in the week. Hopefully this way I can also experiment with other forms of dance. Hip-hop classes are a form that I will experiment with for sure this month.

The November cold has brought me to an indoor activity. I have been spoiled by the long summer here and look forward to doing something where I can still wear a razorback tank top without feeling like I have to take a hot shower afterwards. The first thing I realized about bouldering when my friends suggested it to me was that I didn't really know what differentiated bouldering from rock climbing. For some reason I was imagining large, fake rocks that were used to spiderman crawl across. I wasn't really sure what to expect. 

When I first went to the climbing gym, I realized that the walls looked similar to rock climbing but they were shorter. There were no harnesses being used and people fell gracefully onto their backs when loosing their grip. Also, everyone was relatively young. A weird thing to notice, but my exercises each month have had such a range of age or sex which I just didn't realize until recently. Water aerobics was older, pole dancing was all women, boxing was mostly men. Bouldering is definitely co-ed, and young. 

The main physical difference with bouldering and rock climbing from people I've talked to about it is endurance. Rock climbing requires more of it and bouldering is more about problem solving and each climb is quicker. There is something you learn when you do climb after color coated climb when bouldering, that you become fatigued quickly. You think you're so strong after going up and down a couple of times and then you realize you can't clench your fists or hold a pen anymore. Your forearms feel like jelly and you are walking around like t-rex. 

In a couple weeks I'll be starting a new exercise, but for now I am taking a break and I decided to mix it up and do whatever I felt like. I don't feel like I am enslaved by all of the different exercises I've been doing. I do feel like sometimes I don't have time to do other things that I've been wanting to do. For example, my running has really gotten harder. I haven't swam in a long time. Even yoga, which is my love, has found less practice than normal. So that is why I decided to take these next two weeks between exercise months to do a little more of things I love.

Or, maybe more accurately, things that I want to not be out of practice of. I went running for the first time in a while. I decided to take it slowly because I haven't really ran in a while. So, I decided I would listen to my favorite rap station and run for one song, then take a minute walk and repeat until I went for about three miles. It was really hard for me. What popped up in my mind were horrible things about myself. I wondered how I could let myself get out of practice, why hadn't I made it a priority and other self-depricating things. I felt bad at something that I had before been decent at. I don't know what was more challenging: the run itself, or the frustration I had about my own self-worth.

Luckily, yoga is strong with this one and I instantly recognized my unnecessary frustration. I reminded myself that the strength of my run doesn't define me as a person. I am not less of a person because I couldn't do something as I once could. I think that is one of the most frustrating aspects of exercising when you're older. You may have the knowledge and maturity to understand it doesn't mean everything. However, you may lack the musculature to take on every physical task that you once could. 

This month I decided to take on a little cardio challenge. When I was contemplating what to do for the month I had no idea. The main problem is scheduling. September always brings around many time sucking activities. There are last attempt at summer trips to take, school starts, work is still busy. It is like there is the last gust of summer but it is slowly on the way out with every Indian summer breeze. The point is that I am not going to be home that much during the month and once school settles in my schedule will become even more inflexible. So after doing a little bit of research I found this website: neilarey.com where there lies numerous workout options and nutrition plans that are easy to read and totally accessible. 

So I figured something I could download and be anywhere without some class time slot to make would be good for me in this transition month. HIIT workouts are great for this. I have less stress when I don’t have anywhere that I need to be with my exercising. The problem with some of the other exercises I do is that I have to work it into my schedule, which limits me for the month. This month I am doing some camping and will possibly be in areas that don’t have internet. I’ve already downloaded this PDF file onto my phone so I have easy access to high intensity interval training workouts(… HIIT…), wherever my body lies. 

So are they a good workout? Umm… yes. They are set up so there is no other equipment necessary, just a timer. Day one was rounds that consisted of three different movements for 20 seconds a piece. Between each round there was one minute of rest. I did 15 rounds which made my workout about a half an hour. The movements were knee kicks, air squats and burpees(my nemesis). Yes, it was hard. I am exhausted from it. I do feel like I had an actual workout today. It’s amazing what can tucker you out in that short a period of time. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c__noWWtdZg

The above link is how I've decided to transition into what pole dancing this month has done for me. It is not about the words of the song or have anything to do with the singer. What the song resembles for me is that I am aware of its existence and how my body wants to move with it. It has become my favorite song to dance to- on or off the pole.

After going to class the last couple weeks there is so much emphasis on the songs. We were encouraged to look out for songs that made us feel sexy or invoke our bodies to move. I wanted to look for music aside from R&B jams from my childhood that are so sexually explicit there is no denying the sex factor of their lyrics. The instructors played all different types of music from Nine Inch Nails to Ray LaMontagne. In return, I've begun to feel more hyperaware of music that is around me and in all different forms. I think it has helped me to be more present in general. 

The awareness this music has brought me makes me be more present in my body too. Towards the end of class we have a routine we work on where we dance in front of the other students. Every time this happens I get super uncomfortable to do it in front of these people who I don't know and really have no desire to share my sexuality with. It is in these moments however that I have to be the most in tune with myself(otherwise I would never be able to do it). It is with these songs that I feel free to move into spots of my body that need attention. It is so similar to yoga that I find I can easily identify with that aspect of it. During pole dancing, though, you move to the rhythm of the song. 

Physically, it is because of this body awareness, that I think it feels so good. We do so many hip circles (laying on your back and twisting your hips in a circle) that I feel like I've done hip openers to last the day. Often you have to twist your body all around and in return your getting an excellent spinal twist. With the pole as support, balance becomes easier and you feel like you can stretch further than without it. So at the end of the song you realize the pole is your friend and ultimately supports you in three to four minute segments. 

When I decided to do pole dancing classes I knew there would be different reactions. I didn't really look within to see what my own personal ones would be. Sometimes, I am so on the bandwagon to try something new that I don't really consider how I might feel going through the process. Something I mildly considered: I would really have to look in and discover my sense of sexuality. I have labeled myself, as many others have to themselves, as to what I consider me to be. I am strong, adventurous, friendly… so on and on. Part of what makes me feel attractive is my fun spirit. Pole dancing is really making me dig deeper into personal discovery. 

I think that is why it can be intimidating for some people. At some point you have to accept that maybe there is more to you than what you have been telling yourself for so long. Often we don't give ourselves enough credit to be multiple people, with multiple roles, and varying degrees of sensuality. This is what makes us whole. The classes definitely make you consider this. After only a couple classes, I know that if you think you can go in and muscle everything and pretend that pole dancing has nothing to do with exploring your body- you are lying to yourself. There is a strong emphasis on finding what makes you feel attractive and sensual without being labeled a jezebel. 

For me, this is one of the most interesting things about it. Really, it is mostly just dancing. Yet, it is dancing to slow, sexy music while you are whipping your hair around like the "Cherry Pie" video. And honestly, the movements feel really good. I don't mean that I feel better about myself when I do them. The movements are all fluid movements that stretch out your hips, shoulders and neck. It is like yoga on R&B overdrive. Pole dancing can be about sexual exploration but I think it is more about physical exploration of the self.