#ex-gender

Personally I don't think I'm agender, because that implies that I never had a gender in the first place. I think I'm ex-gender, as in I used to have one but somewhere along the line, I just couldn't work up the faith to believe in it anymore. Too much cognitive dissonance, you know? Now I exist separately from it and try not to be jealous of the people who found happiness in it, because it just was not working for me. I'm still trying to unlearn all the harmful ideology I was taught because of it, and sometimes I feel like it's a big deal that I left the faith — I mean... Gender... But for the most part I'm glad I have an outsider's perspective on it now, and can think critically about it instead of just nodding and going along blindly with whatever my authority figures tell me to do.