I hardly see headcanons about the EW characters as dads so...
(This was not proofread and english it's not my first language!)
For me, Edd is a certified dad person in any way possible. He actually is responsible and chill in a good balance. Oh.. And the dad jokes.. Don't even get me started.
He's the super supportive but kinda embarrassing type of dad. He's gonna make you embarrassed on public. On purpose. And gonna be so fucking smug about it. (He's not too mean tho! My boy doesn't want his baby sad or uncomfortable!)
This man is all cutie patootie with his kid, tries to make the best relationship humanly possible. If he's noticing signs that something's off than he will sit and talk about whatever is going on. Talking about.. Well, TALKING, I think he likes to chat with his kid, maybe create jokes and be inventive in general. He has to stimulate his child's imagination!
You guys are wearing silly daughter/son and dad t-shirts. No questions asked
Secretly trying to induce his child to appreciate cola like him since the womb...
If his child likes pepsi or diet cola he's FLABBERGASTED. BETRAYED. HOW COULD YOU? AFTER ALL THE SACRIFICES HE'D DONE FOR YOU!??
Basically will playfully rival you a little, always scoffing if you're drinking or buying those drinks
Probably if he had to go to his kid's school on Profession Day, and all that bullshit, he would be bullied for being an artist and making commissions/graphic design. Picture one little girl that has a police officer dad or some cool shit, saying to his kid like "my mom said that only slobs turn hobby's into work"
Because when he shows his work the other children are like :0
He wouldn't be the type of dad to scream or beat his kid. More like the "go sit in the corner and think about what you did" type of dad. Grounding is also an option
But oh Don't get this guy here mad because oh god is genuinely frightening. Serious mode is on and all.
If his child give him a drawing of him, a crooked flower, A cat that looks like a rock or whatever, THAT SHIT IS GOING TO THE FRIDGE. He so proud that this grow ass man is sobbing like a baby
If his kid asked the one million dollar question: "how babies are made" he'll sigh deeply and say "when two people love each other very very much..." Or "the stork" or basically any crazy thing that makes you satisfied.
If his kid is being bullied be prepared cuz he's going to fight a 6 years old and lose
If his child starts dating he's mostly chill. But still keeping an eye on the person they're dating to see if they're not bad company
He makes his child go out and touch some grass but his healthy attempts stop there. Because he's a little irresponsible on the food and drink aspect so the reader will have to take care of that, to prevent your kid from getting diabetes or smth
He's always trying to come up with something exciting on the weekends, be it a trip or a gourmet dinner of sorts
Now, I if I had to choose if Edd would be a girl dad or a boy dad, I'd say... Both
Honestly he fits so lovely with both genders of baby, and I don't think he would particularly have a preference
As for number, I think his limit would be three. And the child would most likely not be planned, but I'm not so sure on that hc I'll have to think about it a little more sry
In the end of the day, he just wants to be the coolest and most amazing dad possible or die trying
Now speaking of Tom... It's difficult
He's not OPPOSED to the idea but.. You sure you want to have a real baby with HIM?
He might want to sit down and talk, after all, raising a child is not like just buying a shoe or something. He might need a little time to think about it
Tho, he also can't help but feel a little intrigued. He has never been the dad type but.. The idea kinda of makes he feels fuzzy inside. If he's 100℅ sure then he will be chill about it
Ok let's get into the child part
He's the type to think he will be awful as a dad, but end up being really good. Not perfect. But good enough.
He has quite the troubled childhood so he wants his child to rely on him, to know he's there to protect them and will never go away.
He normally takes most things seriously but when he's a father? My man does not play
He's actually pretty good at handling kids. Ofc he's got a temper but he's so used to his friends shenanigans and all the stressing stuff that he has built a tolerance to not snap all the time.
It takes a lot to get him on blind rage, but if his child manage to do that. Well, he'll scream.. Sorry it might startle the poor kid but he'll apologize afterwards. I also don't think he would NOT beat his child. He never got this treatment as a kid and he doesn't think it's necessary. The last thing he wants for his kid is a childhood with pain
His punishments are like doing chores, grounding and that stuff
In the baby phase, oh he will take SO MANY PHOTOS. Nothing convinces me otherwise. He naturally loves photography, so taking pictures of his little bundle of joy? Sign him up
Imagining him putting checkered stuff on his kid. A little checked hat, some cute checkered glasses for the beach, checkered tiny shoes...
I think he would gift his child the Tommee bear. I thinks this little bear has kind of the pass to generation thing. If he has another kid he would tell the older one to give the younger one the plush.
If his kid wants to learn how to play the bass, he's hyped. His kid will have a strong liking to music naturally. He'll be impressively patient with the child, repeating the chords how many times is necessary for them to get it
If his kid got into a fight, he will act all worried and checking them up but then will throw "did you win?" Then proceed to give them a long ass scolding lecture
He'll teach his kid self defense. Physically and verbally. Not how to curse but how to win or be aloof in a argument. It end up with his kid throwing sarcastic shit at their teachers
Just picture the scene: his child entering in his car after he received the news that his child got a Warning. When questioning them, they explain:
Kid: don't get mad okay..?
Tom: I won't. Now tell me, why did you got a warning?
Kid: okay so.. I was in class and we were having math lessons. The teacher asked what's 8 x 5, and I answered 40
Tom: that's right. But why did you got a warning then?
Kid: it wasn't because of that. After that she asked me what's 5 x 8.
Kid: the teacher asked what's 5 x 8 and I said it's the same shit. That's why I got a warning!
Tom: .... *proceeds to laugh his ass off*
He would probably try making his child hate Christmas too
Like, saying santa claus eats children and transforms them in presents and shit
He's a menace and it's giving his kid nightmares
In the morning of the Christmas eve, reader will find their little kid soaking the three with gasoline while holding matches
They probably damaged those animatronic santas who play trumpet at the store's doors. And cried or attacked the shopping center santa while sitting on his lap. If they even have the courage to
Santa: what's your Christmas wish little girl/boy?
Kid: that you die! *proceeds to run crying for Tom and reader*
He probably tries to get his child's language on line but, they got this sailor inside them sometimes. Genetics I guess.
Tom: hey, watch your fucking language.
Reader: *burying their face in their hands groaning*
Tom is the "I support the current thing" dad. He will support whatever his child is liking (if is legal ofc) even if is a little weird.
When his kid started dating this would go to ways. If is a boy, he's chill but warning them to not fuck anything up and treat their partner well. If it's a girl, oh boy, protective dad mode. Only in the beginning tho. If he sees the person it's nice and safe, and his kid it's happy than he will be more chill about it. But don't even try sneak up or make out on his watch. No one touches his little girl like that. But again, after a while he's pretty casual about it like.. Really.
*person the kid's dating bringing a drink to them*
Kid: no chocolate? No plushies? No blanket?
*person proceeds to bring everything they want*
Kid: *glare at them looking at Tom, that's literally sitting on the couch reading next to them*
Tom: they got a point tho...
Again with the million dollar question: "how babies are made", I think Tom would say something like "babygun" (tomska reference-) or he would shrug and left the kid frustrated without answers OR the classic "go ask your mom/dad". Not because he's nervous or out of answer ideas, no, it's because he wants to see how you'll explain it. He'll have fun.
I think after meeting and marrying reader after a while, He would quit drinking so much. I mean, he doesn't have a reason to do it so often now isn't it. And don't come at me with drunk aggressive dad Tom headcanons I don't wanna hear 😭
I have the feeling his child would have a little bit of his monster genetics. Maybe lots of it, maybe less. But they would. And when he finds out GOD calling him worried is a statement. You had never seen the man so out of his element. He feels a little guilty too
Which leans to more angst because I have the feeling he knew before the child was born because of the appointments and check ups. Something was off. And the labor was quite difficult.
He basically tries to be present and helpful to his child in a whole
Now about gender, I think he would be a girl dad. No questions asked. But he doesn't have a preference, whatever comes it's k.
And the number, in the start he just want one. Principally after your difficult labor. But with some coaching he might reluctantly accept another one. But that's enough, no more. He wouldn't forgive himself if something happened with you or the fetus.
The baby would be planned
He's a good dad, believe it or not. He just need some learning to. In the end of the day, he just wants to protect his kid and make their life happy and healthy
He's the certified perfect dad material
He would spoil his child SO FRICKING much
In his defense, his kid needs to look pretty all the time!
Will buy tons of cute baby clothes, making people stop in the streets to say "omg your kid's so adorable!" And he will be so smug and proud about it
In his home, praising is a rule. So expect this child to have an amazing self-esteem (I'm jealous). He will always make sure his kid feels amazing and bonita! Because they are! ❤
His kid may grow a little entiled and bratty, and he has to count on reader to put them in line because my boy does not know how to scold a child properly
Again, he wouldn't beat his kid. He would have to rely on reader on the grounding part because in his childhood, he was never actually grounded or punished, his mother always patted his head.
He encourages his kid to express themselves with hair, clothes, makeup, whatever gender they are. His child is a mini diva
He's the type of dad that when his child gains a low score at a final, he just pats their head and say "oh that's not good sweetheart. You must be sad, let's go get ice cream!"
When his child come back to school, he immediately wants to hear any gossip going on. School gossip is the juiciest!
When his baby had its first loud as cry (aside from the ones in the hospital) he would genuinely start crying loudly too without knowing what do to and his child would stop mid tantrum to look at him like "🤨 bro"
If his child started dating HE'S SO EXCITED. So proud his kid is catch like him. But about the person they're dating.. He would be suspicious, asking lots of questions and even making a quiz for them to prove they're worthy of dating his beautiful baby child!
A funny thing is that if the kid's friend or classmates had saw a photo or Matt himself, a couple of them would be simpin on the ginger. Lol and this might stand even on high school. They friends will go like "hey step son/daughter" "bestie would it be crazy if I said your dad's kinda-"
Friend: hey (kids name), how's your dad?~
Kid*frowning*: incredibly married.
Friend: aw, still? God dang it-
Matt it's a good dad tho that's for sure. He just needs to be more firm
Maybe the child might be a half-vampire too!
In that case, at night they would go flying together as bats in a son/daughter and father bonding <3
He's those dads that styles their kids hair for school like they are a princess/prince
Cutest kid on kindergarten, I swear
MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION AGAIN 🗣️🗣️
He would probably answer with things like "*pats head* you'll learn when you're older sweetie" or "i put a little seed on your mothers belly, that seed grow and then unbuttoned on a beautiful flower. You!" (I put mother but it can be gender neutral somehow)
When Matt pleads for something, he does puppy eyes since he was little. His child has the same habit. Reader is fed up in the supermarket while their kid and their grown-ass husband are giving them a puppy look to make them buy more candy/cereal/or literally anything
Not everyone might have this bless, but Matt can be a good listener. Especially to his precious one. Not the most gracious with coherent words but very good at physical comforting
If his child got excluded, bullied or picked on, he will call the kid and their parents and literally GO FOR THEIR NECKS (vampire joke not intended but oh well-). ROAST. COOK. THEM
If his child got into a fight he will be running at them on lightspeed and jump on them, grabbing their face and looking around it saying "is your face okay!?"
His kid would have like, a pile- no. A mountain- nah. A TSUNAMI of toys, stuffed animals, dolls, you name it. He love giving his child lots of things they probably won't need
His kid is popular. If not, don't worry you'll get there someday! Your #1 cheerdad is rooting for you!!
Even with all the spoiling, his kid would eat impressively healthy. Despite Matt being spoiled himself, I think he doesn't got a childish appetite. Not now at least, since he calculated that eating healthily would make him more youthful and pretty.
But oh beware with that baby on his clumsy hands... He had lost your child more than four times by simply looking away for a second.
This baby would be gladly planned
Now, about the gender, I think Matt would prefer a girl. Shoo you stinky boyz. Jk
But he's more in sync with his feminine side. Which isn't a surprise because he masters girl talk, and it's the best boy friend to rely on when your besties are unavailable
Tho he's not opposed to a boy. Ofc not!
But nothing, NOTHING can convince me otherwise. Matt would be a twin girl dad. Hear me out
He and his two little princesses
Ahem, about number, I think he's limit would be three or four. I feel like he would like a big family.
Matt is such a pookie dad in the end of the day. He gots its flaws but he's learning! And your kid might be a little spoiled but they're surely happy and healthy as you. Ah what a silly loving family indubitably.
So uhhh... Now I was supposed to make Tord's part but it's late and I'm running out of ideas so... Maybe keep it for a next time or part 2? Probably won't happen because like, literally two to four people see what I post so.. That's it, thanks for reading! 💞💞
