#evil magic

no I’m a super EVIL wizard- fuck kind of question is that mosher of the bugs? Yo everybody boo him

This post is about Skyrim and Oblivion and other Elder Scrolls related stuff. Trigger warning: confinement, torture, and a side order of general creepiness which comes in the form of Belethor, from the general goods store.

If they ever make an Elder Scrolls movie, please please please, please give us this simple mechanism. Maybe in the next game, TES6, if it ever happens.

In the Elder Scrolls games, you can always tell what size a soul gem is just by looking at it. This should be pretty straightforward because the graphics are all different in Skyrim and I think Oblivion; all the sizes look different. I think in older games it was actually harder to tell. So at least in Skyrim it makes sense that you can tell.

But you actually can also see the size of the soul inside. It's on the inventory screen when you're buying and selling stuff or whatever, so if you accidentally trap a petty soul in a grand soul gem, in the game you can look at the soul gem and be able to tell. If you're at the general goods store buying from Belethor, it's easy to tell what size the gem is and what size the soul is inside of it.

So. On screen, show us the soul gem, and then if you look closely enough you can see the size of the soul trapped inside, squirming around. Show us the sentient living soul somehow. It doesn't have to be really complicated: just a weird, writhing flame or something. Maybe you can tell by the size, or maybe by the intensity, like the brightness or something, but make it move around, like it's in pain, maybe you can hear a very quiet sort of screaming or keening sound that changes in pitch and intensity and just goes on and on but is only barely audible, you have to put your ear real close. Make it creepy as fuck.

In the movie he would be ideally played by Steve Buscemi, playing it absolutely straight, as though he's simply providing a helpful anecdote to his customer.

I want Belethor the VI, running his own general goods store, to try to sell you a soul gem with the soul flickering inside, and he's chuckling about it. "Wonder how this poor bastard bought it. Well now he's caught, that's for sure. [chuckling as though it's funny that a conscious being is stuck in a rock forever and turned into a battery] Little bastard will stay stuck in there forever if you don't let him out into your magic sword or something. [Whispering, intensely] Me, I hang them up in my house and use them for lights. They never run out, there's no smoke, they're pretty dim but if you use a bunch of them it works great. Hang 'em up high real near the ceiling and you can't hear the screaming. Bought a handful of petties off a guy a couple years ago and at the time I had a soul trap dagger in stock, so I trapped some rabbits and loaded up some petty stones. They're cheaper than candles and they never run out and they don't make any smoke; in the daytime I don't even have to turn them off. I just leave them tied to the ceiling up there in some fishnet bags and they light up the room. Those rabbit souls are still in there, be in there forever, squirming around, lighting up my room. [Drops conspiratory tone, back to business] And of course ... perfectly good for charging up your staff. 500 Gold."

I want all magic to seem a little bit evil. Because that's how it is in the real world. There's always a price.

Maybe late in the movie or something we're in a battle and people are dying for something stupid like real estate and somebody drops a full soul gem over the gunnel just trying not to get killed, and the camera follows it as it sinks to the bottom. The waves are pitching and there are little puffs of sand along the bottom, and the little stone with its little flame, screaming, writhing, just gets covered with sand, a little bit at a time, until finally a little poof lands on it and the screaming is just very very muffled and the light is gone.

Casting my evil magic