#everythingnorky

So... It's one o'clock in the morning, and I had the urge to write something completely sappy. I don't know. It popped in my head. I just had to put it somewhere. Maybe it does suck, but I don't care. Haha. Me and my dork problems. Prepare to cringe.

She loved him, you know. Anyone who knew her well could tell she really did. She may have denied it, called it ridiculous to fall for an “absolute idiot”, but she really did love him. She loved him enough to let him go. She loved him enough to try and forget her feelings for his happiness. She loved him on her own anyway. 

He loved someone else. Yes, it sounds so cliché, the love triangle thing. It doesn’t matter though. For a while there, she thought someone would love her, the insufferable know-it-all, the girl who acts tough to hide her insecurities. For a while there, she thought she found someone who would understand her as well as her family and best friend. He was patient. He didn’t complain. He was completely modest, although not a lot of people could see that. Her family just adored him. She felt safe whenever she was with him. Sure, he also had his own flaws that irritated her endlessly, but those just made her love him more. She knew he was human too. And finally, he knew how to listen. He listened to every single rant. He listened even though she was already scolding him in front of his friends. He kept quiet and always apologized. He was always able to keep her calm. He put up with her crap. He was her complete opposite. Even after he found out what was happening, he was there. He was always the one who can see something was wrong when other people would just pass by her in the hallway.

She convinced herself she didn’t have feelings for him anymore. She told her that she doesn’t feel anything anymore. She thought she was perfectly fine. She thought everything was just a bad case of infatuation. It wasn’t. It was far too late for anything when she realized the truth. She still does love him. The amount of worry she felt, the fast pounding of her heart that never seemed to end, and how she couldn’t stay still the whole day when she found out he was weak enough to reply incoherently made her realize that.  Turns out, she loved him enough to let him be happy, even if it meant becoming numb to her own feelings.

I just finished reading Mockingjay... And I can't find any words to describe the things that I am feeling right now. The series was, so far, the most graphic novels I've ever read. Ever. Well, I've read some graphic ones before, but they were required readings so... Yeah. Nobody forced me to read The Hunger Games trilogy, and even though I'm not exactly a big fan of all the, uh, rather violent events in excruciating detail that will probably never ever leave my mind (Since my imagination tends to go all out when I'm reading for my own pleasure), I still wasn't able to close the PDF reader (Since I only have ebooks of them. Sucks, I know. I will buy the printed books. No, I must.) when I'm supposed to be sleeping or studying or whatever I should be doing. The trilogy is now on my list of the few novels that have made me emotional, or more specifically, made me feel things I can't really explain or burst into tears at unexpected twists or even make me space out during classes, replaying all the scenes I've read in my head. Do I hate the ending? I don't know. Maybe. Sort of? Meh. However, I don't regret reading it. HAHA. Funny thing is, I told myself I wouldn't read the series during finals week, but I eventually gave into temptation and started reading the first book on the night before my last exam for the term. Insane, I know. I guess books really are my weaknesses, huh? GASP. MAYBE THIS IS WHY I'M SORTED INTO RAVENCLAW. FOR TWO TIMES. (I have two Pottermore accounts. HAHA. Hey, don't judge me. :P) I HAVE PROOF! :3 Haha. I thought I would be sorted into Hufflepuff after assessing my answers to the questions... But meh, I guess the Sorting Hat really thinks I belong in Ravenclaw. And I have no problem with that. Yay me. XD