#everythingisfallingapart

I want to be living in a cozy apartment with my best friend giggling and feeling buzzed from how overwhelmingly happy I am.

The clouds are accurately portraying my current mood #everythingisfallingapart

My boyfriend and I broke up last week. I lost my job. And my great friend passed away. This all happened in the same week. My heart is torn in so many ways right now. I'm in denial about his death, I don't want to cry or think about it. I am offically broke again and it's hard to find a job in Cali And the only person I want to be with in this harsh time is my ex boyfriend. I need his hug, his kisses, his comfort, I need him and he is not here. "We're friends" I guess. I don't get how everything can be so good, and then BAM everything is falling apart. 2 weeks ago everything was good. What happened? Life is a bitch Cancer is a bitch Love is a bitch. Im not ready to go the memorial, because im holding it together now but when see his sisters, brothers, friends, his wife , his children ...when i see their faces , i might lose it. and I finally he is gone and I will never see him again. I never said goodbye to him. I want my ex back . I did everything for him and it didn't matter. how can you just throw everything way so easily like you're not phase by it. and I'm just your friend. I don't want to be friends but I don't lose you either. Not mention my mom is not talking to me and my sister is locking herself down. I just want to go away. I have no one.