#everything's right

She felt hot, Joe could tell. Hotter than usual. Crying for over fifteen minutes would get Hazel all hot and sticky with sweat, but this was different. And she’d been crying for longer you told him, and nothing you could think to do would make it stop. 

You knew she was congested. You thought she might have a headache from said congestion, and you also thought she was running a fever by the feel of her. When you tried to lay her down for a nap, which she so desperately needed still but wouldn’t accept anymore, she showcased a nasty cough that must’ve hurt her little throat terribly. Since then, she didn’t want to be put down in her bed, and so you’d just held her the rest of the day.

“Baby, it’s okay,” You said baby, even though you were very aware she was nearing in on two-and-a-half, but she was still your baby. Especially in moments like this when she didn’t know what she wanted or what she needed. One moment she squirmed to be put down, and then the next she was screaming because you weren’t holding her. 

Patience. You could hear your own mother’s voice echo in your mind as she always used to say it to herself whenever she’d be driven to the edge by you and your brother when you were younger. 

It was awful that Hazel couldn’t tell you what was wrong yet. Not properly anyway. If you asked her if she was in pain, she nodded and told you yes. If you asked her where she was hurting, she just cried more. 

Joe wasn’t sure if taking her from you was going to help Hazel at all, but he knew it’d help you, so it was the first thing he did. “Come here,” Hazel accepted being handed off by you without any resistance and new hands wrapping her seemed to instantly calm her down, albeit temporarily. Like she knew you were also trying to find solutions for whatever was wrong with her, and now it wasn’t just you anymore. You had back up.  

“It’s just a cold,” Joe said, reaching a hand over and touching your face, wiping your cheek dry with his thumb. You knew that’s what it might have been, but Hazel has had colds before, and it had never been like this.

“She won’t take any medicine,” you sniffed.

Explaining it to Hazel as best you could, with big, important, slow words, and offering rewards after hadn’t worked. Then, you had tried to get the medicine into her system with force and had broken your own heart in the process. It still hadn’t worked. 

“Have you tried steaming up the bathroom?” Joe asked, remembering how he had once held Hazel in a hot shower for over two hours when she was much smaller. 

You shook your head, and said you didn’t think that would really work still, but Joe was instantly up on his feet with Hazel tucked tightly against his chest. Hazel was the perfect height to tuck underneath your chin which would leave her legs to wrap at the most comfortable spot around your waist. 

“Come on little lady,” Joe hoisted her off to the bathroom and you were surprised he wasn’t met with deafening screams from her. 

You weren’t sure when exactly Hazel had become a daddy’s girl, but there had to have been a tipping point along the line somewhere. The comfort she sometimes couldn’t find with you, she’d find with Joe. But lately, she had craved a lot more of Joe’s attention than yours. As long as Joe didn’t mind, you didn’t mind, but it could really sting your heart when all you wanted were baby Hazel cuddles and all she wanted was snuggles from Joe. Joe would often rope you into those snuggles and, even though in Joe’s arms, you’d still get you fix. 

Just like you were about to now.

“I said, come on little lady,” Joe stood by the door and waved you over with his free hand. Calling you little lady was exactly what Joe shouldn’t have done had he wanted to make you stop crying. 

A little while later you were all sat in the bathroom with the door shut and the shower on. You had turned it up as hot as it could go, shooting water directly down the drain behind the curtain, which felt very wasteful, but if it was going to help Hazel, you would leave it on all night if you had to. 

Joe was sitting with his back against the door, legs crisscrossed in front of him, with Hazel sat on his lap. Her back was resting against his stomach, and you weren’t sure if it was the steam that slowly filled the room or the white noise the shower gave, but you could see Hazel was starting to slowly doze off.

“It’s working,” you whispered, afraid that anything louder would trigger Hazel, and you saw Joe hug her tighter as he pressed kisses into the top of her head. 

You were sitting opposite Joe, hugging your knees as you rested your head on them, and you just watched Hazel’s breathing. Erratic from crying for so long, but definitely slowing down and becoming deeper. And she wasn’t coughing. And her mouth was closed, which meant her airways were free. She looked peaceful for the first time that day.

“What’s wrong?” Joe asked you, his voice barely loud enough to speak over the sound of the shower, and you snapped out of your thoughts to realise you had started crying again. 

“Nothing,” you smiled at him. “Everything’s right.” 

“C’mere,” Joe very carefully scooted over slightly, making room for you to sit next to him, and when you crawled over, Joe pulled you in tight. 

“You know we can do things together, right?” Joe started, and you knew what he was going to say. “I’m but a phone call away,” 

“I know,” you used the back of your hand to rub at the underside of your nose.

“So, stop thinking the entire world’s on your shoulders,” Joe nudged you, and you knew he was right, but you couldn’t just change that for yourself. Not in a day, not in a week… that was something that time was going to have to fix. 

“I’ve got half of it on here now,” Joe jokingly raised one shoulder after the other and got a wet smile out of you.

“She’s asleep,” you said after peeking at Hazel’s rosy tearstained cheeks that served as a shelf for her long eyelashes as her eyes were closed. You wanted to get up to turn the shower off, but Joe’s arm around your shoulder stayed in place. 

“Yea, but you’re awake still,” And like before, Joe was right. You didn’t need to fall asleep, but it would serve you well to let the steam relax you too. Joe’s sweet words made the last tears within you escape your eyes. He was honestly too much sometimes.

“Everything right, still?” Joe checked in after a while, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

“Yea. Everything’s right.” 

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