#everlayne

He leaned in to get a better look at the contents of your basket. It was full with all kinds of herbs and flowers all bundled up by strings. “I think the healer’s been using you as her assistant.”

“She’s not a healer, she’s a witch. And I don't mind being her assistant as long as she lets me take notes.” One by one, you carefully unpacked the bundles you’d collected all morning.

“So long as the assistant to the witch doesn’t forget to take care of herself.” Carrion retorted, looking you over, trying to hide the way concern furrowed his brows. “You look like hell.”

“Wow, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” He smirked, eyes glinting with amusement. He rested an elbow on the table, placing his chin in his palm, eyeing you again, “Have you eaten breakfast yet?”

Unpacking the bundles or herbs one by one, you looked at him. Was he worried about you? No, he couldn’t be. Carrion didn’t care for you the way you did for him. At least that was what you kept telling yourself. “Not yet.”

“Neither have I,” He declared, standing up from his chair. “Come on, let’s take a break from whatever it is you’re doing. You’re no use to the witch dead of starvation.”

“But the herbs–” You mumbled, looking at the bundled up lavender, waiting to be dried.

“Can wait,” Carrion motioned for you to follow. “We’re just going around the corner, you’ll be back before you even feel like you were gone.” Then he teased, “I promise I’ll make sure you’re back before your plants shrivel and wilt.”

With a sigh and a little chuckle you relented and walked out of Fisher’s house, side by side. The tavern around the corner wasn’t overwhelmingly busy like it was in the evenings, only a few people from Cahlish and travelers came here early in the day. You sat down across from each other in a small booth next to a window. “I am pretty hungry if I’m being honest.” You admitted, glad that he dragged you here. And glad for his company. If only he knew how much it really meant to you.

“I thought so.” He nodded to the waitress to let her know that he was ready to order. “Two breakfast plates and two mugs of peppermint tea, please.” He requested, then leaned back in his chair, “You look as though you haven’t slept in days.”

“I just–” You sighed and slumped back, tilting your head to each side to stretch the tense muscles in your neck. “It feels wrong to sleep my days away while Everlayne isn’t waking up. I want to do everything I can to help her. What if we waste too much time and she–” You shake your head, unable to voice the thought that had been choking you for weeks.

He was quiet for a few seconds, then replied, “You’re no good to the witch or your sister if you collapse from exhaustion. Maybe you should have Iseabail take another look at her. Or try Te léna again, isn’t healing her specialty? I think if Everlayne has any chance of waking up, it’s with the combined effort of all of us, but certainly not with you running on a diet of peppermint tea and catnaps.”

Of course he was right, you knew that. But every time you slept for more than four hours you felt like you neglected Everlayne. While the bond you felt with her wasn’t as strong as the one that connected you to your twin brother Fisher, she was still your half-sister and over the centuries, you’d developed a friendship that was even more dear to you than the blood you shared. “Iseabail is doing everything she can, she’s already hovering over Everlayne constantly, plus she’s spending hours every day prying the Quicksilver out of Fisher’s head. And Té lena has her hands full with all the other citizens of Cahlish and she has a family to take care of.” You frowned and loosened a shaky breath. “I’m going to Ballard for a few days. There’s a library there that’s pretty extensive with a grand archive. It’s probably pointless, but maybe there’s some sort of hint about what we could still try…” You chewed on your lip and picked at the seams of your sleeves. “I just don’t want to leave a single stone unturned.”

The waitress brought over the two plates filled with bread rolls, eggs and bacon and two mugs of tea. Carrion lifted the steaming cup to his lips, blew on it to cool the liquid, then took a tentative sip. “I could be your travel companion,” He offered, then shrugged, “I would be delighted to help you hunt down dusty old books on ancient healing magic.”

You chuckled at the thought. Spending a few days alone with Carrion sounded like a scenario straight from your daydreams, but Ballard had lots of taverns, alcohol and pretty females. It was already tedious enough to avoid his liaisons in Cahlish. Whenever all of you went to a tavern together, you made it your personal mission to leave first to make sure you wouldn’t see who Carrion left with. But during a trip together, would that even be possible? Your heart clenched painfully at the visuals of you in a creaky inn bed, Carrion next door, lewd noises spilling through the thin walls– “I don’t know, it’s probably going to be really boring, you won't like it.”

He raised a brow in amusement. “My dear, you underestimate the allure intellectual pursuits have on me. Besides, the company you would be offering would be more than enough to make up for any dull moments. Don’t dismiss yourself so easily.” He nudged your plate closer to you, silently urging you to start eating. “Perhaps the real question lies in whether you can tolerate my presence for days on end.”

If only he knew how you craved being around him whenever you weren’t with him. “I can tolerate your presence just fine.” You said, smiling faintly, digging into the first bite of eggs.

“Well then it’s settled.” He declared proudly, grinning. He took another sip of his tea, then placed it on the table. “I would be an absolute fool to pass up on an opportunity to get you all to myself.” He winked, “For days.”

Oh. Was that what this was about? You instantly wondered if you were just another one of his conquests. It wasn’t a secret that Carrion prided himself with the women he bedded. You already had to listen to the story of three River Sprites jerking him off with some sea moss three times during tavern nights and every single time you had made an excuse, either grabbing more ale or using the restroom. By the third time Saeris had followed you, catching you crying in the bathroom of the tavern like some pathetic idiot. She had comforted you and as far as you know, she had kept your secret ever since. It was nights like those when you lost hope for anything serious between you and Carrion ever blooming, but your stupid, naive heart always filled back up with longing. A never-ending cycle, it seemed. “I should get back to Fisher’s house, the lavender isn’t going to dry itself.” You quickly mumbled, pushing your thoughts to the back of your mind, where they belonged.

He watched as your expression faltered, clearly wondering if he had said the wrong thing. “My apologies. Have I upset you?”

“No. No, you haven’t, it’s just…” You sighed and placed your fork back on the table. “Sometimes I wonder why you’re always being so nice to me. I’m not a thing you can check off of some list just so you can stick it to my brother.” Shit. You cringed the second the words had left your mouth and you eyed the little flinch that moved Carrion’s shoulders. Immediately, you felt like Cahlish’s biggest asshole. “Sorry, that was–”

He shook his head, forcing a chuckle and a smile, “I deserved that. I’m aware that my reputation does precede me. Just the thought of what your brother would do to me if he ever found out I had dared to even think about you.” He ran a hand through his hair, sighing. “You know… just because I sometimes don’t exactly keep my hands to myself doesn’t mean I’m incapable of being serious or respectful. You might be surprised to find that I can behave myself on occasion.”

A thousand questions swirled in your head like a storm of the highest grade. Carrion Swift thought about you? Before you could voice any of the thoughts that rendered you stunned, a figure appeared behind Carrion. Renfis grabbed Carrion’s shoulder and smiled gently as he greeted the two of you. You’d known Fisher’s best friend for so long now, it was as if he was a brother to you as well. “Good morning you two. Romantic breakfast?” Renfis quipped and your cheeks flushed. With the exception of Saeris, you hadn’t talked to anyone about your feelings for Carrion and Renfis’s teasing made you wonder if everybody simply suspected it from the way you behaved around Carrion.

He let out an amused chuckle, shaking his head. “You’ve caught us,” He responded, then gave you a suggestive wink. “Breakfast, a little flirting, we had plans of running away together later, but we’re still working out the details.”

A laugh escaped you and Renfis smiled, leaning towards you. “Fisher will kill him, you know that, right?”

“We’re just having breakfast.” You replied and rolled your eyes, taking another bite of your bread roll, followed by a fork filled with eggs.

Renfis shook his head, chuckling. “Whatever, I don’t even want to know what this is. I only came here to tell you that your horse is ready for tomorrow.”

You had asked Renfis yesterday to get a mare prepared for you. Although Fisher could have easily summoned a Shadow Gate in Cahlish that led straight to Ballard, it was too risky to travel by it. The magic could attract all kinds of things and with Belikon still on the loose and undoubtedly out for revenge for what had happened in the labyrinth, a three day horse ride seemed like the most sane decision. “Actually... Could you add another horse?”

“For me,” Carrion clarified, then added with a grin, “We’re eloping.”

You kicked him under the table. “Carrion offered to join me. And it’s probably best that I don’t travel alone at the moment.”

Renfis’s eyes darted between you. “Does Fisher know about this?”

You sighed. “I didn’t know I had to ask Fisher for permission whenever I wanted to leave the city.”

“No, but I do think you should at least let him know that you’re not going to Ballard alone.” Renfis reasoned.

“I will.”

“Good. Then I’ll get the horse prepared.” He shot Carrion a warning look, before turning around and leaving the tavern again.

When it was just the two of you at the table once again, Carrion said, “I’ll go with you to break the news.” A smile tugged at your lips. Was he so eager to do right by you that he would even subject himself to Fisher’s potential wrath? Carrion was charming and a womanizer, yes, but he was also brave and considerate.

“You don’t have to do that. I can handle Fisher.”

“I don’t doubt that,” he shook his head, “But this was my idea, was it not? It’s only fair that I face the consequences at your side.” 

The tone he wrapped his warm words in pinched your heartstrings and you smiled. Gods and Martyrs, out of all the males available, why did you have to fall in love with Carrion Swift? If he could hear your thoughts right now, he’d surely make a run for it and you wouldn’t even blame him.

After you’d finished breakfast, you took a detour to your apartment so you could change your damp clothes for a dry pair of leather trousers and a cotton tunic. Then you made your way back to Fisher’s place. Your brother and Saeris weren’t home, so you decided to not waste anymore time before leaving tomorrow and dry the leftover herbs and flowers. “Grab some of the chamomile and lavender bundles, shake them a bit to get any bugs out, like this.” You showed Carrion how to rattle the flowers without breaking them. He watched carefully and when he looked slightly bewildered, you chuckled. “What? You might as well help me while we wait for Fisher to return.”

“I didn’t realize I’d be put to work,” he teased, picking up a bundle and mimicking your movements. The lavender filled the air with its delicate fragrance, enveloping both of you as you stood closely together, preparing the plants for drying.

Ignoring his comment, you moved the shaken bundles over to the sink and handed Carrion a clean cotton towel. “I’ll rinse them, you pat them dry. Careful though, don’t squish them.”

“Don’t squish them, got it,” Carrion repeated, nodding in understanding.

As you and Carrion worked side by side, a comfortable silence settled between you, broken only by the sounds of running water and the occasional chuckle from his side when you playfully shot glares at him for making a mess of the wet flowers. The simplicity of the moment made the weight of Fisher’s imminent reaction temporarily vanish, and for the first time in weeks you felt like you had enough room to breathe. You weren’t quite sure if your heart could handle the next few days without breaking once they were over again. Apparently, it was quite easy to get used to Carrion.

“Do you miss Zilvaren?” You asked, trying to get out of your own head and fill the room with conversation. “You traded resources on the black market, right?”

“Zilvaren,” He echoed, contemplating for a moment. His deft hands continued to dry the lavender with a gentle touch, his gaze fixed on his task as he spoke. “It’s a city of opportunities. A perfect place to trade and strike profitable deals.” He paused, then added with a hint of nostalgia, “I suppose I do miss the thrill of the underground world. The power that came with being the one who controlled the flow of certain goods. The networking. It was a dangerous game, but I reveled in it. And fuck, it sure made me a lot of coin.” A mischievous smirk played on his lips as he looked up at you.

“It also made you a criminal.”

Carrion let out an amused huff, “I prefer to think of myself as a rule breaker with exceptional entrepreneurial skills.”

He did have a way with words, you had to give him that. You could tell why he had been an unparalleled smuggler in Zilvaren. Carrion dapped the towel on the last bundle of chamomile, then you nodded towards the tiny pantry. “There are hooks on the ceiling, I like to hang them up in there.” You wrapped each bundle with a long string of twine, then handed it to him so he could tie a knot around the metal hooks. You stood right in front of him, catching a glimpse of the muscles that flexed underneath the fabric of his shirt, whenever he lifted his arms. “Once we’re in Ballard we should ask for a layout of the library and make a plan. This way we don’t waste time searching for the right sections and we can cross off the ones we already looked through so we don’t go through one twice.” Quickly, you averted your gaze from his body and handed him another bundle to hang.

His movements displayed confidence and grace, despite the fact that he had never done any of this before. The sight of him engaged in such a mundane task had an undeniable effect on you. His mere presence was enough to make you feel lightheaded at times, but having him there with you, in the warmth of the kitchen, the tiny confined space of the pantry– it was intoxicating. It made you forget yourself, made you forget how he really viewed you, made you forget the ache of knowing that he’d never want you the same way you wanted him. “That’s a splendid idea,” He said with a smile. For a moment your gazes met and you wordlessly stared at each other. You were supposed to hand him the next bundle, but instead you stood frozen in place, your eyes leaving his for a quarter of a second, darting to his lips, then back up again. Carrion picked up on it immediately and slowly leaned down, giving you enough time to pull away, but by the Gods, that was the last thing you wanted to do right now. A magnetic pull seemed to draw you closer, an invisible force that you had no control over. He cupped your chin, tilting your face up, his thumb gently brushing the curve of your bottom lip. His fingers slid to the nape of your neck, the soft touch electrifying every nerve in your body. The air thickened around you as Carrion closed the remaining distance between you and captured your mouth in a tender kiss. It was a thorough kiss. Beautiful and full of unspoken emotion. His tongue stroked yours in gentle swipes and you’d just begun relaxing into a brilliant rhythm, when the front door opened, causing you and Carrion to jump apart. A moment later, Fisher and Saeris entered the kitchen. You wiped your palms on your legs and emerged from the pantry, Carrion right behind you, the bundles of freshly hung lavender dangling in the background. “There you are!” You stated overly excited.

Carrion cleared his throat and gave Fisher and Saeris a casual smile, masking the moment you’d just shared as best as he could. “You’re back– excellent. We have news for the two of you.”

Eyes widening, you looked at Carrion, then your brother. “Ehm, yes. Do you want to sit down? I can make some tea.”

“What is it?” Fisher probed impatiently, his glare bouncing around like a bullet. Saeris took one glance at your flustered and overwhelmed face and reached out, squeezing Fisher’s hand to calm him down.

“I– I would like to go to Ballard. Tomorrow. I want to search through the library, maybe I’ll be able to find something to help Everlayne.” You started, letting that piece of information sink in first, before telling him about your plan to let Carrion accompany you.

“That doesn’t sound like a terrible idea,” Saeris stated, then added, “We should make use of all the information we can get our hands on.”

“Yes,” Fisher agreed. “The more eyes and brains on this matter, the better.”

“Yes, that’s exactly my thinking,” Carrion chimed in, seizing the opportunity to speak before your brother could say anything else, “And that’s why I’ll be joining her to offer a second pair of eyes.”

Well, that wasn’t exactly how you’d imagined easing Fisher into the thought of you traveling alone with Carrion Swift. 

He looked at Carrion, a moment passed, then he deadpanned, “Absolutely not.”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Fisher–”

“No,” he repeated, crossing his arms. “Out of the question. I’ll take you there myself or you can go with Saeris or Lorreth or Ren, I don’t care– anyone but him.”

“You’re being completely unreasonable. Carrion has been nothing but helpful and kind to me.”

“He’s a philanderer,” Fisher retorted flatly.

“Gods alive…” You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. “Alright, this is ridiculous. We’re twins. You’re neither older than me nor are you my parent. I had the courtesy to ask you, but if you’re going to treat me like an imbecile who can’t make her own decisions, then I will just do as I please.” You shoved past him and towards the door, but

Carrion held your hand, stopping you, giving one of his charming smiles, then said, “Let’s not make any hasty decisions. I’m sure there’s a compromise to be made that everyone can live with.”

You raised a brow at Fisher who rolled his eyes, the stubborn male only relented when Saeris nudged him. He sighed, then conceded, “What do you propose?”

Carrion looked at you, then at Fisher, his tone full of unwavering confidence. “She’ll be safe in my company. I’ll escort her to Ballard and to the library and the inn we’ll reside in, ensuring her well-being every step of the way. Once she’s done with her research, we’ll leave immediately. No detours, no diversions.” A mischievous smile crossed his lips as he added, “And to set your mind at ease, we could have Renfis accompany us.”

That sounded like a fair and mature agreement and one sideways glance at your brother told you that there wasn’t much left he could disagree with now. Fisher sighed, nodding reluctantly. 

“Fine. But Renfis will not join you. I need him here.” He glowered at Carrion, his expression hardening as he continued, “You simply won’t try anything with her or take advantage of this situation, otherwise I will not hesitate to end you.”

Carrion grinned in spite of Fisher’s threatening tone, knowing that he had won this battle. “Fantastic,” he said, then turned to you, his devious smile softening into something more sincere, “So, tomorrow morning then?”

“Tomorrow morning.” You confirmed and your eyes met in a meaningful glimpse that lingered for a moment.

The evening was filled with an awkward dinner, Fisher sitting at the head of the table, Saeris to his right and you to his left. Saeris tried to make light conversation, but you were still pissed at your brother’s behaviour and Fisher was not giving the impression that he felt like apologizing for it, which made you even more furious. You were glad when your plate was finally empty and you could make your way to your room. As you lay underneath the soft cotton blankets, your mind wandered back to the kiss you’d shared with Carrion in the cramped pantry. Fuck, he was a really good kisser, you had definitely expected that much. He was probably just as good in bed. It was clear that he wasn’t lacking experience. He hadn’t been shy talking about the conquests he had made since entering Yvelia and back in Zilvaren, it must have been even worse. An ugly twitch of jealousy made your heart thump painfully in your chest, even though you had no right. It was one kiss. To him, it probably meant nothing, a heat of the moment kind of thing. To you, it had only confirmed that you felt something for him. Sleep found you way too late and when you woke to the fainting dawn, your entire body was groaning in response to the few hours of actual rest you had gotten. Bag packed, you made your way to the kitchen, forced down a few bites of porridge and just before you exited through the front door, a clear of Fisher’s throat sounding from the hallway had your head turning around.

Fisher was standing there, leaning against the wall, watching you, frustration and worry fighting a battle in the lines of his face. He let out a heavy sigh before speaking, “I’m worried about you, alright?”

“I know you are. But that doesn’t give you the right to dictate my decisions.”

“Fair,” He admitted, his shoulders tensing as he struggled to say his next words. You were taken aback when he spoke, for it was so uncharacteristic of him to be this vulnerable and open. “I just… can’t lose you too,” he continued softly, his tone betraying the deep-seated fear that had transformed into anger the past night. “I can’t lose anyone else I love.”

Your chin wobbled, but you managed to catch yourself. He was talking about your father, your mother and Everlayne, who was teetering on the edge of being gone forever as well. You felt all of those losses in the same painful way Fisher did. “You won’t lose me, just because I take a trip to Ballard and read through some books. And you won’t lose me just because Carrion joins me either.”

The corners of his mouth lifted, and for all the times you’d seen him wear his signature smirk, this smile, however fragile, was genuine. He pushed off the wall and closed the distance between you, pulling you into a tight hug, “If anything happens, and I mean anything that makes you uncomfortable or doesn’t seem right even in the slightest, you send word and I’ll be there. Got it?”

“Got it.”

A light kiss to the top of your forehead, then he let you go, but not before shooting you a look that clearly said ‘Don’t you dare get into trouble’. He gave you a playful shove as you turned to the door. “And tell that prick to watch his hands.”

“Fisher!” A flush crept up your neck and you shook your head.

He called after you, “What? It’s my duty as your brother to tell you those things!”

You gave a crude gesture and a goodbye wave, before disappearing into the streets of Cahlish. 

The stables where Ren had prepared your horses for the trip were only a few corners away and when they came into view, you saw that Carrion was already waiting, one shoulder casually leaned against a wooden beam, chatting to one of the stable boys. The soft, muted colors of his clothing that blended perfectly with the earthy, stony surroundings of the city were just another indicator of how well Carrion Swift adapted to wherever he was. He was the rightful heir to the Yvelian throne and yet, right here, he looked like a normal citizen, simply going about his day. Like a chameleon, that was also really good at smooth talking and business. He had dressed himself in a loose, ash-gray linen shirt, the first few buttons open, revealing a bit of toned muscle beneath. Over it, he wore a fitted, deep brown vest, its edges trimmed with faint embroidery and small fastenings running down the front. The vest hugged his frame, emphasizing the broad span of his shoulders. His dark trousers were tugged into worn leather boots with creases that could undoubtedly tell stories about long days spent on foot. You swallowed hard as you came closer to Carrion and the stable boy. There was an effortless allure that always surrounded him and it drove you positively mad. In all of your centuries of living, no male had ever had that sort of effect on you and it scared the shit out of you. 

“Good morning.” You greeted as you came to a halt next to the two males.

Carrion looked up at you, the sun illuminating his blonde, bronze, auburn locks, his smile widening. He dismissed the stable boy with a friendly nod, before he stared for a moment,  just drinking in the sight of you. “Morning, Sunshine.”

“You all set?” You asked, unable to get rid of the tingling in your lips where you still felt the kiss you had shared in the pantry last night. You couldn’t help but wonder what would have happened if Saeris and Fisher hadn’t walked in.

Looking as if he was thinking about the exact same thing, Carrion licked his bottom lip and said, “I am. And I’ve taken the liberty of grabbing us some breakfast from the tavern. The trip will take us three days if we travel swiftly,” he turned to the two horses waiting in their individual stalls, running his hands down the flank of the one next to him, “So I’d recommend we get going.”