Heinrich von Konstanz, Saint John resting on Jesus' chest, c. 1320
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Heinrich von Konstanz, Saint John resting on Jesus' chest, c. 1320

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Evangelist
One of the fun things about being trans is that just by existing with a smile on your face you can draw in 1,000,000,000,000 internet evangelists who all wanna convince you that God is real and hates you. And I know that sounds exaggerated, but literally about half of them open like that. The other half usually start with “hey, not to be rude, because I worry about your soul and I love you like God commands…but God is real and he hates you.” No thanks! I’m just enjoying baking bread and cuddling with my wife 🥰 Have fun worshipping your joyless, bloodthirsty God tho 😙
The Spirit immediately drove him out into the desert.
He remained there for forty days, during which time he was tempted by Satan.
He lived there among the wild beasts, while the angels ministered to him.
Mk. 1:12-13
Artwork: Henry Siddons Mowbray (American, 1858–1928)In the Desert (1915-1925)
FIRE FORCE - Burns x Joker

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St. John
F in the chat to Jephthah's daughter who never gets a name nor timely divine intervention. Also, the Bible is anti-woman.
The Book of Judges: "Yo can I borrow your homework?"
The Greeks: "Yeah just change it a little so the teacher doesn't notice."
To summarize, Jephthah promised God that if God helped him win a battle, he would sacrifice the first thing he saw upon coming home. He saw his daughter, who the Bible doesn't name, and kills her. The story bears a striking resemblance to the story of Agamemnon who sacrificed his daughter Iphigenia except Iphigenia actually gets a name.
Many Christian apologists try to downplay or revise the story of Jephthah's daughter, that she wasn't really get killed but gave up her life by becoming a nun or some nonsense. No, I'm pretty sure Jephthah killed his own daughter here. There was no ram in the bushes. She doesn't even get the dignity of having a name like Isaac. For every Deborah or Judith in the Bible, there's a dozen nameless women who are NPCs in the lives of biblical men.