so i wrote something finally  and i just thought that this idea was kinda cute??? and i’ve got writer’s cramp for a long time now so i’m starting slow with half hearted things just to get rid of the barrier u know??? also it could be a lot of grammar mistakes and I'm sorry for that!! whatever i dont een know hope u enjoy or someting bye
”1… 2.. 3..4” Isak thought to himself. He closed his eyes and tried to imagine a small, white, fluffy sheep jumping over a fence.  It did not work. He knew this already, there was no idea that he even tried. It was 04.36 in the morning, and outside it was so quiet except for a car or two that drove by their window every now and then. It was so quiet. Except for the breaths that were coming from the blonde boy lying next to him. His hair that always was styled in to this perfect quiff was now a mess of blonde hair spread all across the pillow case. He looked so peaceful lying there. Isak’s heart swell at the sight, it almost felt like his heart expanded to the point where it overtook all the space in his chest.
The boy breathed slow and heavy. “One breathe, two breathe, three.. four..”Isak counted. Slowly he started to breath in the same rhythm . “five.. six… seven.. eight” Isak breathed. A sense of calm overtook him. The dim lights of the street lamps outside shone and were peeking in through the blinds. “thirty, thirty one, thirty two..” he counted, still breathing in the same pace as Even.
Slowly he felt his eyelids being heavy and how he drifted off.
Maybe counting before going to sleep was his thing now. Maybe it was a combination of counting and feeling safe, thanks to Evens presence. He did not know, but that did not matter right now. What matter is that once again, Even had helped him, without even knowing it himself.
And Isak is so thankful for that. He is so thankful that he, out of all the people in the world, is lucky enough to sleep next to this blonde boy. Â His blonde boy.
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Isak loves waking up to the smell of fresh breakfast every morning. To the sunlight leaking into their room, casting itself in the space that his love had occupied some 10 minutes earlier. To the sound of Even singing to himself as he cooks, trying to stay quiet so as not to wake the boy he still believes is asleep but ever increasing in volume as he loses himself to the music. Nothing sounds more beautiful than that.
Except perhaps the snuffling sound Even makes while he sleeps. Not quite a snore, but not just a breath either. The sound of a content, deep sleep. A comforting sound. One that makes Isak want to memorise it every time he hears it, if he could trace Even’s breathing he would. But as the night turns to morning, and the morning to day, Isak forgets the exact pattern the sounds make. It isn’t until the night again, when Isak presses his head to his sleeping boyfriend’s chest, that he remembers just how much he loves that sound. The feeling of Even’s steady breath on the top of his head comforts him to no end. The simple reminder that he is alive, that they are both alive, and they are alive together. God knows that they fought to get there. Both facing a thousand battles, some as a team, some as separate entities. Each step they took through the battlefield taking them, unknowingly or not, a step closer to this moment.
A step closer to the mornings when Even is not up first. Mornings where Isak peels his face away from Even’s body to gaze at his face dappled in the sunlight. The soft yellow glow bringing out a beauty that Isak just can't grow accustomed to. Every day reliving the same shock that someone could look so perfect. Instead of the smell of cooking food, Isak breathes in Even’s scent as though it were more precious than oxygen. He is warmed not only by the sun's tender rays, but by the feeling of home he gets in this boy’s arms. Still half asleep Even pulls Isak close to his chest again, his head now lying next to Even’s beating heart. Another glorious sound. Another gentle reminder that they are alive, and life is now.
Even’s 20th birthday (this is half an hour late in my time zone and I’m devastated, god dammit work)
Isak wakes him up with soft kisses all over his face and when he knows Even is waking up he moves his kisses down and starts Even’s day with a happy birthday blowjob and shit if this is what his 20′s are gonna be like then Even is a happy man
they stayed at Even’s last night because Even’s parents have this tradition about a birthday breakfast, so Isak brought his stuff to Even’s after school on Friday and they’ve spent the weekend so far doing their homework between make out sessions because your brain needs a rest sometimes okay it can’t all be biology stats
sadly Even’s parents are home so they can’t share a shower no matter how much Even tries to cajole Isak into it
they do eventually both manage to get showered and make it into the kitchen, their fingers loosely tangled and their shoulders bumping together, and Even’s parents don’t even try to hide their smiles at it because if their boy is happy what more could they want
Isak is high key curious about this birthday breakfast tradition because birthdays were never much of a thing in his household after he hit double digits and he thinks it’s kinda cute that Even’s parents still fuss over him like that
Even insists that it’s more because his little sisters are still really into birthdays and everyone goes all out for their birthdays and Even doesn’t have the heart to tell them he isn’t really fussed about his own birthday
turns out that the birthday breakfast is a huge spread. it takes up their entire kitchen table. there’s a big bowl of fruit, pots of yoghurt dotted around, two filled toast racks surrounded by half a dozen different condiments and cheeses, and Even’s mother is plating up generous portions of smoked salmon omelette as the boys walk in
Isak sits down with Even but he’s kind of terrified that the table is going to collapse under the weight of all that food (spoiler: it doesn’t)
it feels a little bittersweet to Isak to see how close knit Even’s family is but he’s damn happy that his boyfriend has such a loving family. his parents indulge Isak in telling embarrassing stories from Even’s childhood, although Even laughs along with them too, and his sisters crow about all the cool things Even does with them which warms Isak’s heart in a way he didn’t expect
after they’ve all eaten as much as they can physically cram inside their stomachs Even’s mother pulls a little cupcake from some hiding place Isak hadn’t noticed and lights the solitary candle on it before setting it in front of Even and telling him to make a wish
Even stares at Isak so intently as he makes his wish that Isak feels like a mouse in the eyes of a hawk
when the candle is blown out Even’s sisters immediately start squealing asking about what Even wished for and he just shrugs and says I wished to be an only child again with a wink and ruffles their hair when they shriek in outrage
after breakfast Even and Isak go on a very slow walk around the neighbourhood to help their food go down (Even’s mum suggested it and it didn’t actually sound like a bad idea) and they’re their usual disgusting selves, holding hands and pushing each other around and then pulling the other back with their arms around their waist, fogging up the cool air around them with their laughter
they make a quick stop at the coffee place and Isak asks if the birthday boy gets any sort of senior discount
turns out he doesn’t qualify but the barista does wish him a happy birthday and Even just grins and pulls Isak into his side and says how could I not with this beautiful young man by my side
the barista thinks they’re the cutest thing she’s seen in her whole life
the boys take their drinks to go and head over to the kollectivet, enjoying the early afternoon sunshine and each other’s company
they get back to Isak’s just after 1PM and it can’t be determined who startled more when a dozen people yelled surprise
both squads are present as well as the kollectivet (even Linn is there, in her pyjamas but there) and they’re all there to celebrate their friend’s birthday and Even is so surprised that they considered him a friend that it takes him a minute to settle into it
despite it being like one in the afternoon on a Sunday there is alcohol aplenty
Isak knows that Even knows his limits and doesn’t fuss over his drinking or smoking unless he can see the telltale signs of an episode and today is not one of those days so he lays back on the sofa and enjoys a few drinks with his boyfriend and their friends
when everyone has their drinks Magnus stands up and makes a toast to Even, wishing him many more years of fun stories and frostbitten balls
Even snorts into his beer but raises his bottle anyway and everyone follows his lead and the party (if it could even be called that) kicks off
alcohol flows freely and people start talking about their favourite Even story because he’s been involved in a few of their social events seeing as he’s Isak’s boyfriend but aside from that he’s just a cool guy and everyone loves him so????????? of course they’re gonna hang out with him and have stories to tell????????
Noora and Vilde go into the kitchen and come back a few minutes later with a stupidly big cake covered in flaming candles and Even laughs about people trying to fatten him up today
que Isak telling everyone about the massive breakfast and now this massive cake but then he looks over at Even and he’s just like you’re a beanpole though so like of course people are trying to fatten you up
Linn just tells Even to blow his candles out before they burn the building down and Even does that intense staring at Isak again as he blows them out
the candles are out for maybe .25944932479 of a second before everyone starts clamouring for a bit
Eva may or may not get a bit too drunk and emotional and grab Even’s hand and tell him that he’s amazing and she hopes he has a really happy life with lots of good birthdays and friends and yep yep yep time for people to start going home if Eva’s getting emotional
after 7PM most people have left the flat, wishing Even a last happy birthday on their way out, and it’s just Even and the kollectivet so he helps them clear up the bottles and snack food
Eskild’s kinda tipsy so he pulls Even into a hug and kisses his cheek messily and tells him to make sure his happy birthday sex isn’t too loud because Eskild has to be up early tomorrow
Isak drops the bottle he was emptying into the sink and goes even brighter red because he wasn’t even subtly shocked he thought that shit was just in movies but here he is with a sink full of broken glass
Even only makes it worse when he winks at Eskild and says he can’t promise anything before grabbing Isak’s hand and hauling him off into the bedroom despite the fact it’s barely even 8PM
Isak tries to be mad but Even keeps peppering kisses over his mouth and hell Isak can’t keep up his pout when Even does that and Even knows it
they flop back into bed because it’s actually been an exhaustingly social day and Isak the Introvert needs to recharge now so he decides that it’s cuddly boyfriend time and practically tries to get under Even’s skin
they spend a few minutes just holding onto each other before Isak casually tells Even he has a present for him and enjoys the surprised look on Even’s face that quickly turns into excitement
Isak refuses to say when Even asks what it is, claiming that Even has to work for it
thus commences Even kissing Isak all over until the boy caves in and reaches into his bedside table and pulls out a joint
I thought we could share one seeing as it’s a special occasion is Isak’s explanation
Even argues that it’s only a birthday and Isak has a rare moment of breathtaking honesty and softness and says that there’s nothing more special than the day Even Bech Næsheim came into the world
he gets another kiss for that and Even tries to convey all the love he feels for this boy into the kiss
they spent the next hour passing the joint back and forth in bed and enjoying the high together
they talk about the past and the future and everything in between, pressed as close together as two people can be
inevitably hands start to wander
their touches start slow and lazy and comforting but it never takes long for things to get heated between them and Isak finds himself sat on Even’s lap with the birthday boy spread out under him
they both feel a bit hazy from the weed and the alcohol so they end the day with Isak lazily riding Even, hands clasped and foreheads pushed together and soft moans warming the air between them until they’re both spent and slumped together on the bed
when Isak can finally use his higher brain power again he presses a kiss to Even’s warm cheek and asks if he had a good birthday
Even just pulls him closer and whispers that every day with Isak is a good day because what could be better than spending your day with the one you love
and yeah that’s cute but Isak needs to know if Even had a good birthday alright he just does
Even rolls his eyes and accuses Isak of ruining the moment he was trying to make but reassures Isak that yes he had a great birthday he doesn’t need to worry about that
they’re both asleep by 10.30, tangled up in each other
That Time With the Body Paint; just over 2600 words
[AO3]
Sometimes, against his better judgement, Isak would let Even talk him into doing things that Isak knew weren’t good for Even’s health.  He couldn’t deny that he missed their lazy smoking sessions where they’d lie in bed giggling and occasionally trading kisses, too fuzzy to remember all the bad shit out there.  But he’d never forget the bollocking Sonja gave him that night, and for a long time that trauma was stronger than Even’s attempts at convincing Isak.
It wasn’t until Even grumbled that Isak was babysitting him like Sonja had that Isak caved.
He didn’t want to turn into a caretaker.  He wasn’t Even’s babysitter, he was his boyfriend. So what if the guy wanted to smoke pot with his boyfriend every now and then?  Surely it couldn’t be that bad?  It wasn’t like Isak was going to take Even on a bender.
A joint or two wasn’t going to be the end of the world.
***
“I found body paint in the art shop today.” Even said casually, not taking his eyes from the screen.
“If that’s all you got to try to get me to miss this goal-” Isak paused for effect as he managed to shoot the ball into the back of the net.  “Then you’re gonna have to try harder.” He smiled smugly and Even snorted with laughter.
“If I was trying to distract you, you would be distracted.”
“Is that a promise?” Isak smirked.
“You bet.” Even winked, his eyes flashing with mischief.  “I wasn’t kidding though; I found this paint that you can just paint onto your skin.”
“Seriously?  You bought it?”
“Of course.” Even laughed, pausing the game and tossing his controller down before leaning over the edge of the bed and grabbing his bag.  He rummaged through it for a few seconds before producing a few different coloured bottles, which Isak eyed curiously as they were lined up on the bed.
They’d been together a few months now and he was still impressed by Even’s artsy side.  If he really put his mind to something – something more than his doodles – he could create some nice pieces.
“I was thinking…” Even trailed off until Isak looked up at him.  That sentence starter only ever ended up with the two of them doing great things as far as Isak was concerned.
“Dangerous, but go on.” Isak winked and Even rolled his eyes.
“I was thinking,” Even continued.  “That we could smoke that 10% Sana gave you at Christmas and you could lie back and let me paint you.”
That shouldn’t have sounded as hot to Isak as it did.
“Are you just trying to get my clothes off?” He joked, trying not to give away just how into this idea he was.
“Always.” Even nodded seriously.  “You game?”
“Are you just going to draw dicks?” Isak asked uncertainly.
“No!  Just trust me.” Even murmured as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to Isak’s cheek. Isak hummed in his throat, clearly debating whether or not to trust a stoned Even armed with body paints.
“Trust me.” Even repeated, skimming a hand under Isak’s thin shirt and stroking the trembling skin underneath.
In the end it took Even half an hour of coaxing and kissing to convince Isak to let him use the body paint, and Even didn’t think he’d ever moved as fast as he did once Isak agreed.
***
“What if I want to put something on you?” Isak asked, smoke unfurling from his mouth as he spoke.  He was sprawled out on the bed so invitingly that Even was having a hard time keeping his plans in mind.  He’d twisted the first joint up and handed it over to Isak, figuring it would help with the boy’s nerves about being a canvas, but now he was thinking that maybe he should have had a few drags first just to slow his brain down.
“You can have a go after.” Even promised, leaning down and peppering kisses around Isak’s mouth.  “First, though, your shirt needs to come off.” Even tugged at the boy’s shirt while Isak took another drag, whining lazily in the back of his throat. Rolling his eyes, Even took charge and pulled the offending fabric over Isak’s head and tossing it onto the floor.
There it was.
Miles of exposed creamy skin, just begging to be painted. Â To Even, Isak was already more deserving of appreciation than any painting or marble creation. Â His skin was pale and so so smooth that Even had a hard time keeping his hands off it.
If he had his way Isak would never put clothes on again.
“Fuck, you’re beautiful.” Even groaned.  He ran his hands down Isak’s arms and then wrapped his fingers around the boy’s thighs, using his hold to tug Isak into lying on the bed.
“Hey!” Isak protested feebly, but he couldn’t hide the flush on his face that said he liked it.  Even filed that information away in his brain for later examination.
He couldn’t remember ever feeling as full of hope and love and possibilities as he did right then, kneeling on the bed with Isak’s legs either side of him and his boyfriend staring up at him with nothing but trust on his face.  Even had a love/hate relationship with his emotions, but he wouldn’t trade this feeling Isak sparked in him for anything.  He swears he could feel his brain short circuiting the more he drank in the sight beneath him.
“I love you.” Even leant down and Isak was already surging up to meet his lips.  If Even could spend the rest of his life kissing Isak he would.  He would die a happy man if his life’s accomplishment was mapping out every in of Isak’s skin with kisses.
He didn’t realise he was rolling his hips down against Isak’s until Isak was wrapping his legs around Even’s waist in response, pulling him closer and moaning into their kiss.
“Shit.” Even broke the kiss with a gasp.  “You’re so distracting.” He nipped at Isak’s lip and grinned as the boy tried to recapture his lips.
“Even!” Isak whined, trying to pull Even back with his legs locked around his waist.
“Maybe later, my insatiable little muse.” Even laughed as he unhooked Isak’s legs from around his waist.  Isak threw his arm over his eyes and groaned, and Even found himself hypnotised by the way Isak’s hips were helplessly twitching upwards.
Seeing as Even wanted Isak to lie on his front he decided to give Isak some time to redistribute that blood flow before making him roll over, and he twisted up his own joint to keep his hands occupied. They sat like that for a few minutes, not saying anything.  Isak’s breathing finally evened out and he took his arm down from over his eyes, immediately shooting a scowl up at Even.
“You’re such a tease.” He pouted.
“You’re just irresistible.” Even winked, blowing smoke in Isak’s direction.  That adorable flush coloured Isak’s face and his eyes darted away.
“Are we doing this or what?” Isak asked roughly, obviously trying to divert Even’s attention.
“We are if you roll over.” Even laughed, taking another drag.  Isak let out a small huff but rolled over any way.
He was so perfect.  Too perfect.  Even could hardly breathe, and he was only staring at Isak’s back.  He just looked so flawless.  His skin practically glowed in contrast to the blue sheets beneath him, and his freckles were spread like intricate constellations.
Even really wanted to trace them with his tongue.
But that wasn’t part of his plan for today. Without really thinking about it, he raised a hand and brushed a few of the golden curls from the base of Isak’s neck so he could press a kiss to the protruding bone at the top of his spine. Even couldn’t help but grin as Isak whined underneath him.
“You ready to be painted, baby?” Even murmured against his boyfriend’s warm skin.
“Yeah.” Isak nodded, turning his head so that his cheek was resting against the pillow and he could take another drag from his joint. That was all Even needed to hear; Isak had barely got the word out before Even was leaning over to the bed side table and grabbing the bottles.
He’d never been more appreciative of his tendency to obsess on an idea than he was as he sorted out the cheap plastic palette and paint brushes he’d grabbed from the cheap store down the street.
This was finally happening!
Even couldn’t wipe the grin off his face if he tried.  He ran the delicate bristles of one of his brushes down Isak’s spine, enjoying the shiver that followed.
“It’s probably gonna be cold.” Even warned as he plonked the brush into the pearly white paint, gathering up as much as he could to do the base colour.
“I can take it.” Isak replied nonchalantly, his words coming out tangled with smoke.
“So tough, my love.” Even laughed as he settled himself on top of Isak, his knees either side of the boy’s hips so he could sit comfortably on the back of Isak’s thighs as he painted.  Isak puffed up slightly at the praise and Even swears his heart grew three sizes in his chest.
Those were the last words spoken for a while. Isak, as it turned out, was more than happy to lie there and be silently adored, and Even found himself focusing on his painting like it was the most important thing in the world.  Even though it wasn’t permanent, Even wanted the marks he was leaving on Isak’s skin to be worthy of their place.
Even was just lifting his joint up to his lips again when Isak spoke up.
“Feels so nice.” Isak moaned quietly, stretching under him like a content cat.  Even allowed himself a short break to appreciate the curve of his boy’s spine as he inhaled from his joint, exhaling slowly as Isak relaxed again underneath him.
“Good.  I only ever wanna make you feel nice.” Even’s voice came out rough around the edges from the extended silence and Isak shuddered underneath him.
“Do you need to stretch?  Or can I keep going?” Even checked, putting his paint brush down for a second to run a hand through Isak’s hair.  Isak hummed happily in his throat and shook his head.
“Keep going.  I like it.” He mumbled into the pillow, apparently all tuckered out from lying there being gorgeous.
“Your wish is my command.” Even chuckled, taking another drag from his joint before focusing his attention back on his painting. They lapsed into silence again; both more than content to sit there in silence and enjoy the high while Even spread colour across Isak’s skin.
Even knew that nothing he – or anyone – could paint or draw or sculpt could ever come close to how fucking beautiful Isak was, but it didn’t stop him.  It took him about an hour of hazy painting, but eventually Even rolled off of Isak and stretched out on the bed next to him.
“Hey!” Isak protested, colour flooding to his face quickly after.
“Aw, you miss me on top of you already, baby?” Even teased, cupping Isak’s face with his hand and shaking it gently.
“No!” Isak’s mouth said one thing, but his bright red face said another as far as Even was concerned.  “Is it done?” Even snorted at Isak’s clumsy attempt to change the subject, but nodded yes anyway.  Isak grinned at him and struggled to stand up, putting his hands on his skinny hips and stretching his back to the point where he was almost at a 90° angle, his head tipped back to look at Even.
“I’m gonna go look in the mirror.” Isak said as he straightened back up.
“At yourself or the painting?” Even teased.
“Who wouldn’t want to look at this?” Isak didn’t miss a beat, flexing his thin arms jokingly.
“I’ve been praising you too much; your head will never fit through that doorway now.” Even put on a mournful look, but the sound of Isak laughing as he walked out of the room warmed his heart so much that he couldn’t keep the façade up.
Even took advantage of the time Isak was in the bathroom presumably checking out his new temporary artwork by stretching out on the bed and dropping the end of his joint in the ash tray next to Isak’s and half-heartedly tidying up the painting stuff on the bedside table.  He was checking his phone when Isak came back in, but he dropped it somewhere on the bed when he felt Isak’s weight suddenly on top of him.
“Yes?” He looked up expectantly, his hands automatically holding onto Isak’s hips.
“You gave me wings.” Isak said simply, his eyes roaming Even’s face.  Even’s heart stuttered in his chest.
What if Isak didn’t like them?
Shit, his mother was religious, wasn’t she? Had Even just massively put his foot in it?
“I did.” Even agreed, trying to stay calm.
“Why?” Isak asked curiously.  “Wings, of all things?”
“Because you’re an angel.” Even whispered.  At that Isak blushed, his eyes slipping away from Even’s face.  Even slid his hand up Isak’s bare chest and cupped his hand around the back of his neck, pulling him down gently into a kiss.
“You’re my angel.” Even whispered against Isak’s mouth. “And I love you.  I love you so much.” Isak was nodding against him minutely.
“I love you too.” He breathed, looking back at Even’s face in time to see the smile break across it.
“Any other reason?” Isak asked after a few minutes of lazy tender kisses.
“Is my love not enough for you?” Even feigned outrage and Isak laughed, and god if that wasn’t like music to Even’s ears.
“No, it’s not actually.” Isak winked and Even rolled his eyes.  He pulled Isak down so they were lying on the bed facing each other, mindful not to smudge his masterpiece.
“Well, O Demanding One, there does happen to be another reason.” Even drawled, hoping he wasn’t about to bring the mood down.
“Go on.” Isak encouraged, his eyes wide and curious.
“I painted you wings,” Even said slowly, “because I wish sometimes I could take you away from all the shit in life, y’know? I wish you could just fly away from the stuff that hurts you so it can never touch you.  I wish nothing painful could ever touch you.” His throat felt suspiciously achy and he forced himself to swallow.  Seconds later Isak was hitching a leg over Even’s hip to pull them closer together and Even closed his eyes at the feeling of Isak’s hand running up into his hair.
“A little pain helps you appreciate the good times.” Isak whispered, and Even could feel his breath hot against his skin. He made a noncommittal noise in the back of his throat.  He wasn’t sure he agreed with that idea; sometimes pain was just painful.
“And even if I did fly away from something, I’d go straight to you.” Isak said simply and Even’s eyes snapped open in surprise.
“Really?” Even raised his eyebrows and Isak nodded, chill as anything.
“Every time.” Isak nodded sincerely.  “Nothing compares to lying like this with you.” No matter how you are.  He didn’t say it, but Even heard it any way.  No matter if you’re up or down or anywhere in the middle, nothing compares to just lying with you.
Funny that he should say that, really; Even knew that for the rest of his life, nothing would compare to Isak and the love they had. Â No painting or epic poem or cinematic masterpiece.
A lil post-christmas party Evak drabble! (just over 900 words because I’m not great at keeping things short)
[AO3]
It took a few hours for everyone to filter out of Isak’s flat, and another hour after that for him and Isak to tidy up the worst of the mess and finally flop into bed.
“Did you have a good night?” Even smiled as Isak pulled the duvet up over them.
“Yeah.” Isak nodded, his curls ticking Even’s chin. “Did you?” He looked up from where he had tucked himself under Even’s chin.
“It was fun.  Especially the mistletoe.” Even winked and Isak couldn’t stop himself from rolling his eyes.  “Admit it: you went in and out all those times just to get a kiss under the mistletoe from the man of your life.” Even teased and Isak groaned, pushing himself away from Even’s warmth.
“It was just a hashtag!” Isak was never going to live that line down.
“Am I not the man of your life then?” Even laughed as he brushed the hair from Isak’s forehead.  Isak reached up and covered Even’s hand with his own, relishing in the warmth of it, searching his boyfriend’s face.
“I don’t know.  Anything could happen; it could be over tomorrow.” Isak answered honestly and, to his relief, Even nodded in understanding.
“You won’t be too mad, then, that I didn’t have a chance to get you anything for Christmas.” Even grinned and Isak sucked in a dramatic gasp.
“You didn’t get me anything?” He asked in mock outrage, sitting up in the bed.  “That’s it, relationship over.” Isak shook his head, pretending to look sad.
“That’s too bad.” Even was trying not to laugh, Isak could tell.  Suddenly there were arms around his waist and Even was pulling him back down.  Isak went without protest, nestling himself back into Even’s side.
“Seriously though, I don’t have anything for you.” Even buried his face in Isak’s hair and Isak hooked his leg over Even’s knees to press closer to him.  He could never get close enough.
“I don’t need anything more from you.” Isak shook his head.
“No?” Even looked up slightly, his eyebrows quirking in that way that made Isak’s heart trip over itself.
“No.” Isak confirmed.  “This time last year…I was so messed up.  I was living in the basement and I was still in- still in total denial and trying to force myself to be something I wasn’t.” He’d lived that way for so long.  Looking back on it now made Isak’s chest ache.  There were so many of his memories were tarred by this feeling of fake.  So many times he’d said something or done something to try to keep up that front.
And for what?  Why had it mattered so much?  At the time it had felt like his literal life depended on being able to keep up that charade, but looking back he couldn’t help but see all the missed opportunities.  Obviously there was no way to tell how his life would be different now if he had been honest with himself sooner.  He just had to live with the decisions he had made.
“Then you showed up and turned everything upside down and inside out in no time at all.” It seemed crazy to Isak how quickly his life had changed when he had met Even.  “You helped me be me.  You helped me figure out who the real Isak was.  Even if we don’t work out, I’ll never forget what you did for me, Even.”
Isak had barely finished talking before Even’s lips were on his.  He made a small noise of surprise – a noise he’d vehemently deny making if Even ever told anyone – before melting into the kiss.  It was chaste, just a sudden press of their lips together, but it spoke volumes.
“You’re incredible.” Even whispered, pressing another kiss to Isak’s lips.
“I know.” Isak grinned, snaking his arms around Even’s neck.  “You’re lucky to know me, honestly.” He added as Even moved his kisses along his jaw and down his throat.  He could feel Even’s huff of laughter against his Adam’s apple and for some reason that made him smile.
“I know I am.” Even nodded sincerely.  He might have pulled off the humbleness if Isak hadn’t been able to feel him vibrating with suppressed laughter.  That was all it took for Isak to start laughing.
It took a few minutes for the two of them to stop laughing, but when Even’s sniggering bled into a yawn the tiredness overcame their mirth and they managed to catch their breath.  Even pulled Isak as close as he could, not that it felt close enough for Isak, and they exchanged sleepy kisses for a little while.
“Merry Christmas, baby.” Isak sighed into their kiss, his eyes finally starting to drop shut.
“Merry Christmas, Isak.” Even settled back into bed and tucked Isak’s head into his chest, running his fingers through Isak’s curls until the boy’s breathing evened out.
Even though he was exhausted from the night too, Even spent a few minutes watching his boyfriend sleep.  It felt like such a small word for what Isak was to him, but for now it would do.  He might have been manic the last time they talked about marriage, but deep in his heart Even knew he’d marry Isak in an instant.
Maybe one year he’d surprise Isak with a Christmas proposal.
Not this year though.
This year he would have to settle for watching Isak open the Gabrielle CD that he had managed to slip under the tree when no one was looking.
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