Enjoy a proper Valentine's Day!

9/10/2015 11:11 am EDT Updated: 09/10/2015 1:59 pm EDT  Share 3270 Tweet 172 27 Comment 56  By: Wil Fulton  Credit: iStock/AleksanderNakic (edited) Facebook has a funny way of turning even the most tolerable humans into oversharing, overbearing agents of off-the-charts annoyance. Maybe that's just the nature of social networking... or maybe Justin Timberlake is to blame? (I'll re-watch The Social Network, and circle back...) At any rate, there are some serious Internet etiquette faux pas that are unacceptable after you become a "real" fully functional adult (with rent, LinkedIn, and at least one failed career and/or long-term relationship). The first step on your path to digital enlightenment is acknowledging the problem areas, and nixing them from your newsfeed. You want to be taken seriously -- it's the only way you'll ever get a bank loan. Welcome to the Internet in the 21st century: where teenagers pretend to be 30-year-olds, and 30-year-olds act like teenagers. Let's change that, OK? More: 11 Amazing People Who Had Accomplished Nothing by Age 30  Credit: Screenshot via Facebook Posting "chain" statuses The limping ancestors of those chain-mail messages your mom used to send around on her AOL account, these are the scourge of teeny-bopping Facebookers the world over, and bringing them to an adult level makes the act even more egregious. If you think you can change fate with a Facebook status, I know a prince in Nigeria that might like to speak with you about your finances... Being an annoyingly over-enthusiastic, semi-delusional sports fan The whole reason televisions come with mute buttons is so we don't have to listen to sports commentators. And those guys are professionals. Your weekly soliloquy on how and why Eli Manning is a "nancy boy" gives me some insight as to why your career as an ESPN anchor never panned out, or got started in the first place. Obsessively posting about babies, weddings, and/or engagements Facebook is designed to help us celebrate and share our lives, but not to the extent that you alienate everyone else on the planet with the uncomfortable glow of your personal success. Oh my God, I'm so happy your life is so much better than mine. Did you know more than half of weddings result in divorce, and 75% of kids turn out to be jerks?  Credit: Flickr/R4vi Posting pictures and/or bragging about drinking excessively Drinking all night and (occasionally) during the day certainly doesn't have to stop after college, but documenting it with photo evidence probably should. The guy sipping on a 40oz before his 9am English lit class was a legend. The guy sipping on a 40oz before his 9am client meeting is a stumbling cry for help. Sorry, but videos of you slamming beer bongs won't become cool again until you're an 80-year-old grandma. ... and then apologizing for it the next day If you do post something embarrassing after a night of tying one on, it's even worse to try and atone for your sins publicly when the sun comes up. "Guys, I'm sorry for everyone I may have groped and/or offended last night, I hardly ever drink pinot noir. Also is anyone missing an off-white male alpaca?... Asking for a friend." Just delete last night's stupidity, stupid! Sending multiple invites to your art show/improv show/band's gig It's great that you are pursuing your passions and still have some creative drive this late in life. But look, I don't even say "hi" to you when we see each other in the elevator, I'm not going to your improv show that's 50 miles away. Oh, wait, you sent me THREE invites? In that case...

or maybe jus talk in caps it gets ppls attention

He's cruel to you, but he loves you. He doesn't always show what he feels but, you know he feels it. You think you should walk away, but then he says something that curls around your ear and turns your heart on It's heel back in his direction. If you stay, just promise yourself one thing.. Do not change the definition of what is acceptable from a man just because you fear the unknown. You'll only be cheating yourself.