My top surgery consultation is tomorrow. Like it’s actually here. I made it to my weight goal just barely and Some part of me is still in denial. I’ve worked so hard to get here and I’ve suffered so much and yet i’m still afraid the surgeon is going to take one look at me and say “no” or “ew” or something....Ive been pulling up stories in my head about what I might tell her while she is examining me, or saying stuff about my future weight goals so she knows im serious. I’ll have my best friend in the room so that will be fun. Im feeling exposed just thinking about it.
I will take off my shirt tomorrow and someone will judge my future off of a few minutes of knowing me.
If I don’t get the OK tomorrow I’m not sure how I will feel.
I have had some much anxiety and this has been taking up so much emotional energy that i’m not sure who I will be without it.
I am worth this. I am just as worthy as the next person who wants top surgery. I will be happier after this. I will be more me.