#esketamine

The nurse practitioner decided yesterday that they will increase his esketamine dose. He goes back Monday so the change will probably not go through until Thursday due to insurance lag time.

I am beyond despair at this point. I’m not sure what comes after that. DH basically said he didn’t want to face the day today which is why he couldn’t get out of bed. Meanwhile I’ve been up with kids doing all of the chores, herding them through their routines and getting them out the door to where they need to be since 7am.

I’m tired. And just completed defeated. I’m married to someone who cannot find the energy to face the day for his wife or his kids. It’s a 💩y feeling and difficult to want to keep trying.

i wonder if theres any xenodrugs you can compare spravato to?

What a long week! As parents, what do we get for surviving the month of May?

Monday my elementary school kids had an event, and then we had family therapy. Tuesday was an orchestra concert for H and E, and my mom returned from her winter in Florida (hooray). Wednesday was senior awards and scholarship night which ran 6-10. Soooo long. I left at 8pm with the four littles, but DS won TWO scholarships. I have a lot to say about it but will save it for another post after I have done more processing. Thursday was supposed to be the final track meet and a 4H meeting, but they were postponed until next week due to weather.

Friday E had eye surgery. It was such a long day! She didn’t have to be at the hospital until noon, but it’s an hour drive for us, so we left at 11am. She went to school in the morning for two classes because she felt like that would help her keep her mind off of things. DH and I dropped H at my mom’s, and then took E into the city.

They make everyone age 11 and older do a pregnancy test. The nurse had prepped me for that over the phone when she called with pre-op instructions earlier in the week. I get it, but it was certainly a reality check to hear them say it was standard procedure. E is still so much a little girl; it makes me sad to realize there are so many other kids that have already had to leave that piece of them behind.

DH also had esketamine so he took a Lyft to that once E was settled into her pre-op room. They took her back and everything went smoothly. They did eye surgery on both eyes to correct them from crossing. One eye was more severe than the other. She had some blood tinged “leaking” from her eyes yesterday which freaked me out, but is totally normal given the surgery. Poor baby.

DH took a Lyft back to us when he was done with esketamine around 4pm, which is when E started feeling more alert and awake. We were able to leave around 5, and got home at 6. It was a fairly easy night getting everyone to bed all things considered. To be surprise, E slept through the night which means I mostly did too. She’s only on OTC Tylenol and Advil, so it’s not a lot to manage. Her eyes are super red and a little scary looking, but that’s normal. Additionally, she has stitches in her eyes, and they itch. Also normal. We have eye ointment we have to put in twice a day and we got some eye wetting drops but haven’t used them yet. She can’t swim for two weeks, which is one of the reasons we wanted to get this done now—she needs to be able to enjoy her summer.

Planning a lot of downtime for her this weekend and then we have a follow up visit on Tuesday.