So, this morning I got a notification from mail and,
HOLY FUCK I LOVE MY READERS 😭
I am still bubbling with joy and keep on reading this over and over because.....damn.
Whoever this reader is, if you're on tumblr and are seeing this, I love you, you're amazing, and please drop more such comments just so that fuels my motivation endlessly to complete my W.I.P.s.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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TW: depression, undertones of death and suicide, mentions of struggle with mental and physical health.
Please look past if you're struggling with the things mentioned above.
As I look up, the surface blinds me,
Eyes heavy, tired and full of empty;
Sorrow swivels its yarn around me,
Binding my frame so tight I barely breathe.
Longing had made it's home so quietly,
In my heart, that beats habitually.
Waves crashing against the shore,
The warning signs of history;
The sound that dies eventually
Keeps me underneath, so I could see
You, them, and everyone who told me— "Love comes easily."
Rather be the man I was destined to be,
Than the one succumbing to destiny.
Limbs devoid of any strength;
Must I pull with whatever remains of me?
And if I do so, may I ask what and who for?
As for me, I see myself reaching above barely,
And do I even want to? Just stop by one last time to ask me nicely.
Thoughts floating around me so fiercely,
Isn't it great, to know so much, yet go on mindlessly?
You must know flawless power,
The happiness and content you must harbor,
In your life, knowing what it's for;
When you close your eyes before you sleep
I bet it makes you think you'll want to be here forever, above of me.
Had I not lived long enough for your arrogance to see?
Had I not given you all the lack of insolence you demanded of me?
Fear drives what doesn't shake,
And that who does, feels the ground beneath,
Trembling soul of one's lost sight,
May never return, for it's own might,
As for life, it is and had always been a blinding light.
End of the tunnel, what everyone believes,
But you know me; know my insurgency.
You tell me to live, to go on with life,
As you have known all my wrongs and rights;
But living is so tough, my darling
And death looks my way, but doesn't quite ever hug my being,
Oh tell me how to pray, so I could finally escape.
Pray what I don't understand— I refuse to;
You will never be what my soul seeks.
I cannot make you understand,
Most certainly cannot make you see,
This torture that I've been going through,
All this suffering making it's home inside of me,
Rotten flesh and melting bones; blood gone cold in the frame that won't hold.
World might stop spinning, they believe in your wrath.
I will go against, say it's delusion and dismay.
Nature and nurture, both come equally flawed,
No mind, no matter, no hope in heart,
I come as I go— unwanted and in denial;
Breathing is a curse, waking up for nothing is just as vile
In the end, I tell you to look away; no love lost, between you and me.
You shall apologize, for what you did to me,
You shall cry, for a child's innocence was lost so carelessly.
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Formula 1 RPF
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Lando Norris/Carlos Sainz Jr
Characters: Carlos Sainz Jr, Lando Norris
Additional Tags: Hurt No Comfort, Angst, Read at Your Own Risk, sad Lando, Depressed Carlos, Lando needs a hug
Summary:
Carlos has thought about it a lot.
He’s been planning it for a long time.
And he’s finally decided what he has to do.
But there’s one thing he needs to do before he does it.
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Here is my first ever Carlando fic. I hope you all enjoy it.
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Brilliant Minds (TV 2024)
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Josh Nichols/Oliver Wolf (Brilliant Minds), Josh Nichols (Brilliant Minds)/Other(s), Josh Nichols (Brilliant Minds)/Original Male Character(s)
Characters: Josh Nichols (Brilliant Minds), Oliver Wolf (Brilliant Minds), Original Male Character(s)
Additional Tags: Angst, Not A Fix-It, Hurt No Comfort, Flashbacks, Grief/Mourning, Heartbreak, Sad, Sad Ending
Summary:
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Formula 1 RPF
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg
Characters: Lewis Hamilton, Nico Rosberg, Lewis Hamilton (Formula 1 RPF)
Additional Tags: Childhood friends to Lovers to Rivals to Strangers, Anything bar lovers, Brocedes, Song fic, Inspired by About You by the 1975, Angst, Hurt, Confessions, Phone Calls, The Modern Greek Tragedy if you want to call it
Series: Part 2 of Everything That They Were
Summary:
And there was something 'bout you that now I can't remember
It's the same damn thing that made my heart surrender
And I miss you on a train, I miss you in the morning
I never know what to think about
I think about you....
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Formula 1 RPF
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Kimi Räikkönen/Sebastian Vettel
Characters: Sebastian Vettel, Kimi Räikkönen
Additional Tags: Drunken Confessions, Drunken Shenanigans, Drunken Kissing, One-Sided Attraction, Infidelity, 2009 Formula 1 Season, Hurt No Comfort, Hurt, Emotional Hurt, Ambiguous/Open Ending
Summary:
In his late night dreams, Sebastian can have Kimi, and the championship. He is allowed to kiss Kimi in his fantasies, touch him in ways which aren’t considered inappropriate at all when you’re in the privacy of your home. He can get fucked deliciously rough or achingly gentle by Kimi. He can also have the championship marked as his and his alone. He can have the both things he holds closer to his heart more than his dear life.
But dreams become the nightmare when you wake up in the cruel reality Sebastian wakes up in, everyday.