#ephemerweek2024

“I knew I’d find you out here.”

Ephemer blinked, snapping out of his thoughts as he turned over his shoulder to find Hoa Sen leaning by the door frame of the balcony. At this point, Hoa Sen knew that Ephemer wasn’t much of a early sleeper. As long as the stars were bright across the skies; meeting with the slow dancing flowers in the inn’s small garden, Ephemer was up to stargaze. Sometimes he would be up to have late night conversations with Ghost, but for the most part... it was silence and eyes locked onto the night sky.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Ephemer asked, wondering what’s got Hoa Sen up at this hour. Comparing to him, Hoa Sen was a heavy sleeper; just like his small companion Kirby. When waking him up, it takes effort and negotiation with a sleepy dragonkin. It usually works with food, most importantly meat and a strawberry jam sandwich. He’s often known to take many naps when given the chance, and when there is a bed to rest in - he is out immediately.

However tonight was different, as he keeps his gaze on Hoa Sen while he joined him by the balcony, “Nah. I wouldn’t know it was a nightmare anyways since I can talk to my Chirithy now.” He says, leaning on the frame, “I had a hunch that at least one person in the group was gonna slip away and brood.”

Ephemer laughs rather softly, “Surprised your dragon instincts are sharper than your wakeful perception.”

“I may be a sleepy dragon, but I’m as alert as a loafed cat.” Hoa Sen shrugs to one side, “...Is there something on your mind?”

“Huh? I mean. Yes, generally speaking. I would be dead if I wasn’t thinking.” Ephemer tried to give a snark response, only to be met with a narrow look.

“You know what I mean, starlight.”

Ephemer fell quiet. Sighing, only to shake his head as he looked up at the sky.

“It’s ... a bit silly, actually.”

“I’m not going to laugh if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“No no.” Ephemer shook his head again, “It’s not - ... I’m not sure if you would understand...”

“Whatever it is,” Hoa Sen begins, keeping his composure as he leans further on the balcony rails, “I may understand it. I may not, but regardless I’m here to listen even if it’s just a small complaint of our visit in this world.”

While it sounded reassuring, Ephemer still didn’t feel convinced. He didn’t want to think about it... about what had happened in the Observatory. The memory was still fresh in his mind - enough to still remember the details. He had lived far too long enough to forget how short-lived the lives the people around him were. He’d forgotten the fear of it, how something seemed eternal can be taken away so easily. It reminded him of his reckless visit to the moon prior to his formal missions there. Ghost had always reminded him of how precious life is, and how privileged Guardians were to be able to live long.

At first to him, it didn’t really matter. He thought, as long as Ghost doesn’t shatter then his life wasn’t much of a concern. Yet with what had happened by the Yggdrasil tree... He realized many things.

Not everyone has the chance to be like the Guardians of his home. Not all stars get the chance to live as long as other stars. Some die, sooner than their expected outage. There are no altruistic entities like the Traveler in every world that would give these people second chances. He realized that even with a second chance of a new life, you will die once your Ghost is killed. To that end, death was inevitable. Not even immortals can avoid such a natural end to their story.

Supposedly, he understood that. He had to, knowing what risks every Guardian makes in their mission upon a hostile orbital system such as the Solar System. Yet the moment he saw what happened to Mimi, he couldn’t help but feel his feet grow cold. Sure her heart was still in safe hands and she can still be saved, but even then...

Even then, she was gone - just like that. Nothing even hinted to her shattered demise. All she did was what her heart believed and the darkness still overpowered her just like that. Her kindness wasn’t enough. Her strength wasn’t enough. Her light wasn’t enough

Thus he wondered, what would really keep the darkness away? Are the stars he’s looking at now the same as the ones he saw yesterday? He felt ill, and fear, and he didn’t know why other than that Mimi being stricken down triggered something in him that he never felt for a long while ever since he faced the Knight that killed Percy. Helplessness. Dread. The feeling that he was young and afraid, that he has yet to understand how precious life was until now.

Most importantly, Mimi was - is his younger sister. He felt like a part of him that was left from Rigel had been torn away. It was like if Apollo and.. or Wyvern were to die right now suddenly. He couldn’t process it, and the memories strike him down when he least expects it. Mimi is as important to Ephemer as his dads are, but he was afraid he was too late to let her know of such.

He couldn’t open all of this up to Hoa Sen. It would just be coherent, or bluffed over ... because Ephemer is the type to try to make light of things when it gets bad. But this was something he can neither make light of or even talk thoroughly if at all. No matter what he tries to start with, it always ends with a knot in his throat.

So instead, he asks Hoa Sen, “Do you think the stars we see here is the same one we will see when we get to the Dreaming City?”

There was a followed silence which Ephemer knew to be Hoa Sen pondering about that. He didn’t have to answer, but he was so tired of not knowing if it’s even worthwhile to look at a forever changing sky when you know your favorite star will disappear tomorrow.

Then Hoa Sen answered, “I believe so, but the stars we see today won’t be here tomorrow.”

“...Isn’t that scary?”

“To me? Yeah. The stars we see are worlds in some shape or form. To think some of them had reached the end of their lifespan makes me wonder what had happened to the life within. But I only hoped they were all filled with joy, sorrow, anger, and hope...” As Ephemer looked at the sky, Hoa Sen looked at the flowers below, “Stars and flowers go hand in hand. Like humanity, there are many - but some die for another to be born again. But a dying flower can still be saved.”

He gaped slightly, looking towards Hoa Sen as he determinedly faced Ephemer.

“There’s still hope for her to be saved.”

He wondered if Hoa Sen could read his mind at all, or the timing of things helped him piece everything together. Regardless, after hearing all of that... He shared the same determined grin and nodded in agreement.