#ep416

IT WAS AMAZING!!!!!!

In the spirit of the upcoming Olicity wedding…uh, the real one, I re-watched episode 416, you know, to see how far Oliver and Felicity have come since they ripped each other’s hearts out a year a half ago.

  Oliver stood motionless on the platform in the Bunker. In his left hand, closed in a fist, was the ring Felicity gave back to him; the second and possibly last time she would do so. Its weight felt like an anchor keeping him from breaking free from his frozen stasis and going after her. He would try to throw himself into the winds of her mercy, a part of Felicity that he felt so many times in her touch. But that would not be the right move, not this time. Throughout their long relationship, Oliver had been tempered by her forgiveness, by her compassion and ability to heal those parts of him that had festered in pain and loss. Now it was Felicity who needed to be healed and Oliver was the last person in her life that she would welcome such a balm from. In those years they were together, she was a mountainous region in the bleak landscape of his life.  She had taken him to such heights, lifting him above defeat and self-flagellation. He was not in line to get that from her anymore, if ever.

As these thoughts sang in his mind like an off-tune choir, Oliver also heard Felicity’s last words to him, their determination and conviction shattering his heart---‘I’m already gone.’ After she uttered them, like knife blades cutting into his heart, Felicity turned and left the Bunker. Oliver did not watch her leave---he could not.  But he felt her absence as if he was watching his life passing before his mind’s eye.

None of this was really Darkhe’s fault. Okay, he had ousted Oliver’s secret about William, but Felicity was devastated, not by an evil magician, but an old nemesis---Oliver’s inner darkness.  It crushed her under the killing weight of his lie, one he actively participated in for months, as if she was someone who had innocently gotten in the way of his momentum. He could still see the hope and the love in her eyes when she shared her disappointment with him after the physical therapy session with Paul; when she said how much she wanted to walk down the aisle with Oliver.

The emptiness of the Bunker was an apt conclusion for Oliver. It was palatable, like a heavy cloud of toxic remorse hanging over him like a plague. Clarity of his part in all this came too late for him, thoughts that seemed cruel and abusive as he continued standing still in the quicksand of his penance.  Oliver closed his fist tighter around Felicity’s ring and did not feel it cutting into his hand or notice his blood dropping to the floor like failure.

Oliver was surrounded by audacity as his thoughts took him deeper into dismay. Did he really believe that by not telling Felicity about William, he was actually keeping his son safe? She was the one person besides himself who would put her own life in danger to ensure William was kept out of harm’s way. Did he mistrust he so much, when her own trust in him was a shining example of what it is at the core of love, that he would risk both of their hearts?  Why did Oliver not tell the person he was going to spend the rest of his life with that William was just as much a part of her life as his? Was he afraid?  Was it because William represented that part of Oliver’s life that shamed him? The billionaire playboy who knew nothing of substance and depth of character. Was William the personification of Ollie? After the Gambit went down, Oliver had given his soul to eradicate that shallow person he was. Yet, it seems as though that purging was not completed. Oliver was still hurting people who did not deserve the brunt of his shortcomings.

Felicity was right when she told him no matter how much he loved her; he was always going to be the person he became on the island. After all the joyful world traveling they shared, after the domestic bliss of Ivy Town, after coming back to their vigilante roots as full partners---his lie to her was the real truth to Oliver. It made him feel false, as if he and Felicity’s life for the past four years was a charade.   And there was something else she said to him tonight that plunged Oliver even deeper into his shame---the thought of them having it all was as crazy as Cutter. Now that she was gone, Oliver believed it.

Was it possible that Felicity might have overreacted, that what he did to her did not warrant her leaving? No! It was completely warranted.

Again, these revelations found Oliver too late.  What made his actions so severe was that he knew Felicity’s background, one she had shared so trustingly with him. About how her father abandoned her and left behind a scared, confused little girl to find her own answers as to why she could not make him love her enough to stay. And years later, she took a chance with Cooper; questioning herself if it was possible she could love and be loved. The emotional devastation in the aftermath of those important men in her life; it was a delicate precipice she balanced herself on, until Oliver came into her cubicle, bringing his crusade with him. Little by little, Felicity understood there were people and passions and ideas worth fighting for. When Oliver betrayed that by lying to her, if felt like he was throwing salt into her wounds.

He deserved being put in the situation of having to let her go tonight. He deserved his loneliness and regret. He deserved his darkness. He told Felicity, as if in desperation, he didn’t want to let her go. Yet she was right---she was already gone. He felt the truth in that when she gave him back the ring.

Oliver finally found the will to move again. He felt an insane urge to leave the Bunker and start running. Until Felicity came into his heart and life, that was how Oliver had found release. Instead, he moved over to her computer station. He unclenched his fist and carefully removed the ring, bloodied by grief and self-loathing. He put it on the counter; an unclouded piece of beauty dulled by prevarication.

He began to think about going home, but that door was closed to him now. Maybe forever.

**

Felicity brought exhaustion, physically and emotionally, back home to the Loft with her. It swept through her like an endurance test. When she walked through the front door, a part of her heart was still at the Bunker. She did not want to be alone, but she had to keep Oliver away from her or she might not ever get away. It was a conflict of desire in her, a trouble paradox in her mind; she wanted him near her and a thousand miles apart---both at the same time.

When she went to the Bunker earlier, Felicity did not expect to see Oliver. When they parted at the fake wedding, she began building her resolve against his obvious need to be with her. But she knew what was next for her. She could not waver as she almost did in the hall outside the venue. After Cutter was taken away, Oliver stood before Felicity and tried to coax her into having the talk he wanted them to have that day at the Loft just before she got out of her wheelchair and walked away. After listening to Oliver make his recording to William, he once again kept Felicity out of his decision to send his son away. Felicity felt that any talk they might have had would be just another lie. It still pissed her off thinking that Oliver thought she was less important than an impossible ultimatum from the boy’s mother. Oliver is, or should have been, stronger than that. Why would he decide to lie instead of trusting himself and her?

But the bigger question, as she removed her coat and put it on the back of the couch, was why did she still love Oliver? She told him that she did, and then immediately said that it did not apply to them.  What? And really? She knew she said it because she was heartbroken and angry. She also told him he would be fine without her, that Team Arrow would still function. The look on his face as those words drifted in the space between them; it tried to reach out and touch the parts of Felicity’s heart closing on him.

Felicity looked up to the bedroom she had shared with Oliver. She wondered if she would be able to climb the stairs and sleep in the bed without him. After the finality of tonight; perhaps in time she would. But damn it, Oliver had fought for and won her heart and her love. Why would he forfeit that by living such a hurtful lie? Still, if she did force herself to use their…uh, her bed, it would make Felicity feel as if she was stretched out in a vast desert. She would be content tonight by sleeping on the couch.

But she did need to go up there, to change her clothes and maybe take a shower. There were going to be some alterations in her life now that she has chosen to live alone again. Felicity began to subconsciously turn her ring in circles on her finger. Each time she did it, she was reminding herself of the life ahead of her and Oliver. But her finger was bare now and she could feel that happiness drain from her life like a slow disconnection in her heart. The ring’s absent weight was the heaviest loss she had ever felt.

Felicity began to climb the stairs. They took her further away from Oliver and up to the new challenges waiting for her.

(Credits to: The Maya. B Show on YT)

Omgomgomg-

I think this is finally where Ladybug explains the 'temporary Ladybug' ordeal!!

Maybe she'll tell the half-truth, cuz they both were okay-ish till the next ep...

Maya B. quotes, " SO CLOSE YET SO FAR AWAY!"

And that is the perfect caption for this!!

I'm so excited!!

I have so much to say but so less time!!-

Hack-San is only a few hours away!! AHHH-

*takes in a deep breath*

Okay, so....Let me know what you guys think of this!!

And a few more episode release dates

https://youtu.be/MmLdU0mTAbE

Here's the link to the new teaser of S4 EP16 Hack San. This one was released by The Official Miraculous Ladybug YT Channel.

Do not confuse this one with one more spoiler of the S4 EP16 Hack-San released by Gloob.

Now, onto the other spoilers:

(Credits to: Cartoon Apocalypse on YT)

I don't have anything to say on this , except: Eeeeeee!!!!

------------------------------------------

The release dates of a new episode, S4 EP19 Simpleman, S4 Eep21 Dearest Family and English Dub of S4 EP12 Crocoduel have been released too!! Check 'em out! :

(Credits to: Cartoon Apocalypse on YT)

------------------------------------------

And, last but not the least, the English Air date of S4 EP16 Hack-San!

(Credits to: Cartoon Apocalypse on YT)

English Release Date : 23rd Sep, 2021 at 3:45 pm CEST!!

Well, that's all for now!

Let me know what you think of these in the comments, reblogs, messages, etc!!