#empathic vampire

Vampirism Story

Hello, my name on this account is Fang! I'm a 29 years old, intersex, androgyne vampire who's been in VC since I was 12. I don't identify as trans but I'm legally trans. I have always shown an interest in vampires, the supernatural in general, and the occult. My awakening happened when I was 10, I remember it well. Something in my brain lit up like a flame and told me I'm a vampire. I became nocturnal, developed photophobia, started drinking blood and eating raw meat, sleeping during the day, and sleeping with my entire body covered to simulate being in a coffin.

In middle school I befriended people like me, and we would drink blood from each other in between classes and during recess. In 6th grade I discovered vampire forums and made an account on Vampire Rave and Vampire Freaks, remember those forums? Do people still use Vampire Rave? I know the Vampire Freaks forum isn't around anymore.

I became interested in other alternative subculture when I was around this age, started dressing in goth, punk, and emo fashion depending on the day. I really got interested in emo music around this time period too, my mom got me into that genre actually when I was 10 lol. I also became really interested in neopagan religions and tried learning about Wicca. Me and a few other friends started a Wiccan coven in 7th grade, and we'd perform rituals together in between classes as well. I also developed a taste for human flesh in 7th grade.

In high school I started to lose interest in Wicca the more I learned about it, becoming more and more convinced it was just started as a misogynistic sex cult. It was around this time I started learning about Kemeticism, and I really really enjoyed learning about it, I still do. I've felt a calling towards Ancient Egypt religion since around age 11, from TV shows and learning about it in school. I'm from a desert as well, just one in North America. I also briefly tried Nichiren Buddhism (SGI) in my late teens while in high school. I didn't stick with it because I couldn't learn how to chant properly and felt like what I was being taught didn't make sense with Buddhism that I knew about. I still have sympathies to Nichiren Buddhism, and have interest in learning how to chant properly.

In my late teens I became more serious about the occult after befriending an insane man on the internet (now a Nazi) that introduced me to Sarah Wreck on Facebook. Her comics were so funny and taught me new stuff, and her private Facebook account taught me more. She also had a Tumblr account that I followed that I would use to message her anonymously things I was too shy to tell her on Facebook. The pamphlets she uploaded online were very helpful, and her suicide pamphlet in particularly saved my life when I was 20. I really miss her, but I don't blame her from disappearing from the internet. There were a lot of creeps from the internet who were stalking her irl and saying gross stuff in her Facebook comments. I also miss her music, she made really interesting noise!

In my early 20s I went through a breakup that just kinda wrecked my mind. I don't wanna go into the details too much, but I wasn't the most pleasant person back then. The relationship wasn't good for either of us, and the breakup was traumatic because I went from talking to someone 12 hours a day to not talking to her at all. This event went very poorly, I self harmed to the extent that my body is distinct in ways that make it hard to hide my identity online. This also made me become completely repulsed with the smell and taste of blood, and I became disgusted with the idea of ever drinking blood again.

Because of this and stuff I was reading that Sarah Wreck posted, I became more and more interested in empaths as a concept. The way she described being an empath spoke to me, she made it sound more like a disability than a superpower. That the thoughts, intentions, emotions of people who wanted to hurt her gave her PTSD, essentially. I've realized that I'm an empathic vampire, I mainly get energy from others emotions. I feel a bit different than other psychic vampires, because I enjoy sucking the "negative" emotions of others. I am 4w5, I love to feel all emotions, but intense, deep emotions are my favorite. I feel like the most extroverted introvert I know, being around others always makes me feel so much better.

Other Info!

Other information about me is that I'm intersex from CAH 3β-HSD and some form of mosaicism. I identify with a myriad of gender identities but the easiest way to describe it is that I'm an androgynous agender vampire clown, lol. I wouldn't call myself trans or cis, I hesitantly would call myself nonbinary and genderqueer. I like to be silly, I like to make jokes, I like to troll and ragebait people on Facebook. I've been told I have a very 4chan personality, despite never really using the website. I'm bi and gray-ace, too, and I'm in a relationship with someone who's also disabled and probably nonbinary in some way and we live together with two cats in low income disability housing.

I'm disabled mentally and physically in many ways, and I use mobility aids everyday. My main mental health diagnoses are autism, ADHD, schizoaffective disorder, X-linked intellectual disability, OSDD-1a, C-PTSD, BPD, ASPD, OCD, and GAD. I have mainly physical disabilities but the main diagnoses I have cEDS, grade 3 gastroparesis, PSVT, chronic migraines, and chronic muscle spasms. My spine and hips are trashed in multiple ways and I'm in pain everyday. My partner and my mother are both my caregivers in different ways. I am also an age dreamer (not age regressor) and have a lot of hobbies and interests. I'm anti psych and critical of the medical industry in general from mistreatment.

My favorite music genres are Midwest emo, metalcore, deathcore, post punk, new wave, shoegaze, dream pop, chamber pop, psychedelic pop, Christmas music, jazz, swing, big band, rockabilly, traditional country, freak folk, happy hardcore, mashcore, dancecore, breakcore, and gabber. My favorite video games are The Sims, Doki Doki Literature Club!, Stardew Valley, Harvest Moon, Fallout, The Elder Scrolls, Zero Escape, Dead or Alive, Pokémon, Yume Nikki, and .flow.