There is something deeply spiritual about this work. It strips you down. It expands you. It asks you to show up even when you're afraid, even when you don't have the answers. It teaches that love is not just a feeling, but a practice. A daily offering.

This path isn't gentle, but it is sacred. Through it, I keep learning how to surrender.

May mga tao sa paligid mo na tinatawag ang sarili nilang kaibigan. Pero kapag tinitingnan mo sa liwanag, parang ibang mundo ang kanilang tinitirhan. May ngiti, may tawanan, pero may tinik sa bawat salita at kilos. Ito ang mga klaseng kaibigan na mararanasan mo sa buhay, bawat isa may pangalan, bawat isa may bakas sa sugat mo

Maamong Gago “Ang galing mo pala kapag gusto mo.” Papuri lang sa anyo, pero may parinig na sermon. Babatiin ka habang dinudurog ng marahan. Lason sa anyo ng compliment. Hirap magpasalamat kapag ramdam mong insulto ang laman ng regalo. Halimbawa: Umupo ka sa tabi niya sa kape. “Ang galing mo pala kapag gusto mo,” sabi niya habang hinahawakan ang tasa mo. Ramdam mo ang init ng kape, at kasabay nito, yung malamig na pangungutya na nakasilid sa bawat salita.

Kupal Lagi silang may kwento, reklamo, lungkot. Ikaw ang basurahan ng lahat ng hindi nila kayang saluhin. Pagkatapos, “thank you ha, gumaan pakiramdam ko.” Oo, kasi sa’yo nila binuhos lahat. At pag ikaw naman ang pagod, tahimik silang nagla-log out. Halimbawa: Nakarating ka sa kanila pagkatapos ng mahabang araw, at binuhos nila lahat ng drama nila. Kapag ikaw naman ang nanghingi ng oras, biglang busy, parang invisible ka sa screen.

Multo Laging “we should hang out” pero kapag kailangan mo sila, biglang busy. Pag may drama, nawawala. Pero pag may beach photo ka, ayun, parang nagbalik sa mundo ng mga buhay. “Catch up tayo soon.” Soon. Yung salitang laging maganda pakinggan pero hindi dumarating. Halimbawa: Nag-send ka ng text sa oras ng emergency, “Tara, kailangan kita.” Read lang. Pero nung nag-post ka ng picture sa beach, bigla siyang nag-react, parang nagbabalik sa mundo ng mga buhay.

Barbero Ayaw daw ng gulo pero laging may kwento. “I mean, ayoko mag-name drop, pero…” Pagkatapos ng pero, sunog na reputasyon mo. Pag nagalit ka, sila pa ang mabait. “Grabe, di ko naman sinasadya.” Ganyan ang mga pyromaniac: takot sa apoy, pero lagi silang may posporo. Halimbawa: Sa kwento sa inuman, nabanggit niya yung isang pagkakamali mo sa harap ng iba, habang tawa-tawa. Ramdam mo yung init ng usok sa paligid mo, kahit wala ka sa spotlight.

Palabati Pero Walang Alaala “Kamusta ka na?” Pero hindi nila kayang makinig sa sagot. Gusto lang nilang marinig ang boses nila sa ibabaw ng ingay mo. May mga tanong na hindi talaga gustong marinig ang totoo. Halimbawa: “Kamusta ka na?” tanong niya sa chat. Sagot mo: “Ayos lang, medyo busy.” Wala man lang follow-up, agad na bumalik sa kanilang sariling kwento.

Tagapayo ng mga Pagdududa “Sure ka ba d’yan? Baka masaktan ka ulit.” Concern daw, pero sa tono, may halong “ayan ka na namang tanga.” Marunong magpanggap na nag-aalala, pero sa totoo lang, natatakot lang silang maunahan mo gumaling. Halimbawa: Habang nagdadalawang-isip ka sa bagong opportunity, kinakausap ka niya: “Baka masaktan ka ulit, wag ka muna.” Ramdam mo ang proteksyon, pero may patak ng pangungutya sa dulo.

Komedyante Tahimik kapag kayong dalawa lang, pero pag may audience — boom. Biglang may spotlight, tapos ikaw ang punchline. Lahat tumatawa, ikaw lang ang tahimik. Pag nasaktan ka, “grabe, joke lang.” Ang sakit daw maliit lang. Pero bakit parang laging sa parehong sugat tumatama? Halimbawa: Sa party, nagkwento siya ng storya nyo niyo dati, pero binalot sa biro. Lahat natawa, ikaw lang ang tumahimik, ramdam mo ang init ng katahimikan mo sa gitna ng tawa.

Clone Bigla na lang pareho kayo ng suot, ng caption, ng panaginip. Kala mo coincidence, pero parang ninanakawan ka ng pagkatao mo nang paunti-unti. Hindi dahil idol ka nila. Gusto lang nilang maging ikaw — kasi pag sila lang, wala silang laman. Halimbawa: Nagpost ka ng mood board ng iyong visual style. Kinabukasan, pareho na rin ang aesthetic niya, parang sinasalo ang originality mo.

The KJ’s “Congrats!” pero may diin sa “sana all.” Sabay tawa na hindi umaabot sa mata. Hindi ka pa man natatapos magpasalamat, parang gusto ka na nilang mapagod. Hindi umaalis, naghihintay lang ng tamang oras para ipaalala na hindi ka dapat masyadong masaya. Halimbawa: Na-promote ka sa trabaho. Pagbati niya: “Congrats, sana all.” Ramdam mo ang kaunting kirot sa tono, parang may kasamang kondisyon.

Mapagbilang “Naalala mo noong tinulungan kita?” Araw-araw mong pinaaalala. Ang tulong na may resibo, hindi kabutihan — negosyo. At sa huli, ikaw pa ang utang na loob. Halimbawa: Nagpadala ka ng report sa deadline niya, tapos kinakausap ka niya sa chat: “Uy, remember nung ginawa mo yung report last week? Ang galing mo talaga… eh sana next time mas mabilis ka na rin.” Ramdam mo yung pasanin, parang may interest fee sa kabutihan mo.

Politiko Ang kaibigan mo na parang politiko, nandyan lang kapag may kailangan. Tulad ng isang Politiko sa tuwing halalan. Halimbawa: Nandiyan siya lang kapag may event na kailangan ang connection mo. Pag nakatulong ka, biglang friendly; kapag wala, di mo na siya maabutan.

Anino Nawawala kapag madilim ang sitwasyon. Kapag kailangan mo sila, biglang nagiging busy, biglang di mo maabot. Halimbawa: May emergency ka, nag-text ka sa kanya. Read lang, wala ring sagot. Kinabukasan, normal na ang usapan, parang wala lang nangyari.

Beterano Palaging inuuna ang sarili at ginagamit ang buhay mo para ipakita ang sarili nila. Ang tagumpay mo, parang sahog sa kanilang palabas. Halimbawa: Ibinahagi mo ang iyong bagong achievement. Agad niyang ikinuwento ang sarili niyang karanasan, at ikaw lang ang background sa kwento.

Makapili Laging ikaw ang sisihin. Kapag may gulo, hindi sila nagrereklamo, hindi sila responsable. Ikaw ang target. Halimbawa: Nagkaroon ng misunderstanding sa grupo. Lahat ng tanong at galit ay nakatuon sa’yo, habang siya tahimik, walang kasalanan sa kanilang paningin.

Tsismosa Kung may balita tungkol sa iba, sila ang unang kumukulong detalye. Siguradong pinag-uusapan din ang buhay mo sa likod mo. Halimbawa: May nagkwento tungkol sa’yo sa social media. Kinabukasan, siya ang unang nag-comment: “Alam mo ba, si Black?” Ramdam mo na may palihim na bintana sa likod mo.

Parasite Laging humihingi ng oras, effort, at attention. Pero hindi nagbibigay pabalik. Relasyon nila parang utang na hindi mo binabayaran. Halimbawa: Lagi siyang nagpapahiram ng oras mo sa problema niya. Kapag ikaw naman ang nanghingi, biglang may excuse, lagi kang nagiging secondary.

Negosyante Mabuti lang kausap kapag may kapalit. Kapag wala kang maibigay, wala rin sila. Halimbawa: Nag-offer ka ng tulong o resources, biglang super friendly. Kapag wala kang maibigay, nagiging distant.

Most Promising Paulit-ulit na hindi tumutupad sa pangako. Hindi mo alam kung aasahan mo ba sila o hindi. Pagdating sa oras na kailangan mo, wala sila. Halimbawa: “Tara, tulungan mo ako sa project bukas ha?” sabi nila. Kinabukasan, wala. Text mo, di sinasagot. Tumawag ka, busy raw. Natutunan mo lang mag-adjust mag-isa.

Chameleon Iba ang mukha sa harap ng iba. Hindi consistent ang asal. Hindi mo sila kilala, at hindi rin nila kilala ang sarili. Halimbawa: Sa harap ng grupo, friendly at charming. Sa’yo, may ibang tono, ibang approach. Kahit sino ang kasama, iba ang hitsura niya.

Dictator Mahilig mang-utos. Ang pagiging kaibigan nila, parang checklist lang. Hindi mo ginawa ang gusto nila, nagiging malamig sila. Halimbawa: Sinabi mo na may iba kang plano. Agad siyang nagpakita ng disappointment, para bang may violation ka sa kanilang sistema.

Loaner Mahilig mangutang. Lagi kang pinagpapahiram at parang obligasyon mo ang magbigay. Kapag panahon na bayaran, biglang naglaho. Halimbawa: Hiniram ang bagong libro mo. Sinabi na babalik niya agad. Pagkatapos ng linggo, wala pa rin. Tumawag ka, di na maabutan.

Syempre hindi lang ito natatapos sa bente-uno. Ikaw nalang ang magsabi kung sino ang sino. I-comment mo lang kung trip mo.

Minsan dahil naging kaibigan ka nila, mapapaisip ka at masasabing, “Kilala ko yun, hindi naman siya ganun.” Tama naman, kilala mo siya. Pero baka kilala mo lang, pero kahit kailan hindi mo siya naging kabisado. --///--

(TW: Abuse)

I asked the internet

if it was normal

for a man to slam you

into drywall

for keeping your phone.

They said:

Did you provoke him?

Was he just angry?

Are you sure you’re not overreacting?

I asked if a threat

still counts

when he doesn’t follow through.

I asked

if packing a bag “just in case”

was dramatic,

if fear without bruises

was still fear.

I asked questions

like I was shopping

for permission

to feel unsafe.

I asked strangers

because I couldn’t ask myself.

Because the voice in my head

had already been replaced

with his.

Because no one taught me

that abuse sometimes wears

a wedding ring,

or that survival often begins

in Google search bars

at 2 a.m.

And no one ever said

that by the time you’re asking,

you already know.

That the question

isn’t really a question—

it’s a grief song,

it’s a whisper:

please tell me I can leave.

please tell me I’m not crazy.

please tell me it counts.

please tell me I still count.

I scrolled,

hands shaking,

screen lit like a confession booth.

And somewhere,

between “he doesn’t mean it”

and

“this isn’t who he really is,”

I realized:

The search bar

knew before I did.

If you find yourself here—

reading between the lines

of a silent scream—

know this:

You are not alone.

Your fear is real.

Your courage is already in motion.

And even when the night feels endless,

Its the 17th of october and from today on to the end of worlds,

i want feelings, to be the only language i speak.

What’s Behind the Patriarchy? Spoilers: It’s the Part Where You Beg for a Man

You broke through the glass ceiling. Congrats. You made it.

Cue the applause. Cue the empowerment selfies. Cue the sarcastic tweet about “patriarchal tears in my oat milk.”

But now that you’re standing on the other side, here’s a question:

What exactly do you think is behind the patriarchy? Because I promise you — it’s not brunch. It’s not gender equity. And it sure as hell isn’t some feminist utopia where men respectfully take turns crying and making you cum.

No, ma’am. Behind the patriarchy is something ancient. Something feral. And it wants to eat you alive.

I. The Patriarchy Was Never a Castle — It Was a Damn Levee

You think it was built to oppress you? Sweetheart, it wasn’t even about you. It was built to contain men.

That’s right. Other men. The kind who don’t send "u up?" texts. The kind who don’t even speak your language before they drag you into a hut and rename you.

The patriarchy wasn’t a throne room — it was a cage match. And the men you now call “toxic” were the ones who stepped in to fight the monsters on your behalf.

You don’t want to “end the patriarchy.” You want to live inside it without paying rent. And when the pipes burst and the monsters get in? You’re gonna wish you had a few of those "toxic" pipe-wielders on speed dial.

II. The Walls Were Built in Blood — And You Got Born in the Indoor Plumbing Era

Let’s get real. You’ve never actually seen raw male aggression. You’ve seen frat boys. You’ve seen Twitter trolls. You’ve seen your ex crying after you screamed at him for liking some girl’s bikini pic.

But real masculine darkness? It doesn’t ask for your Snapchat. It doesn’t pout when you ghost it. It just takes.

You live in a world where masculine energy is filtered. Sanitized. Packaged into triple-checked HR scripts.

But you don’t want men to be “safe.” You want them to be dangerous on your behalf — To everyone but you.

That’s patriarchy. That’s the deal. And you’ve forgotten how good you’ve had it.

III. Patriarchy Didn’t Stop You From Having Rights — It Stopped Other Men From Taking Your Life

History lesson. Every time civilization collapsed? Men stopped asking questions. And women started disappearing.

In the Congo, women are systematically raped by rebel factions.

In Afghanistan, girls have acid thrown in their faces for going to school.

In Mexico, cartel rape trees — literal trees hung with women's underwear — mark the sites where women were “used.”

But you? You’re on TikTok. Lip syncing about the male gaze.

Your trauma is that Brad from accounting called you “miss” instead of “ma’am.”

This isn’t empowerment. This is LARPing in a bulletproof bubble.

You live in a world guarded by men so decent, they’ll die quietly so you can complain loudly.

IV. You Didn’t Smash the Patriarchy — You Just Threw a Tantrum in the Fortress

You’re not oppressed. You’re pampered.

Your life is built on systems that men died to create — and you're writing Medium essays about how you “feel unseen” while sipping iced lattes in WiFi zones guarded by 911 dispatchers who show up with male muscle when things go sideways.

You didn’t rebel against tyranny. You flipped off your own bodyguards.

And when they stop caring? It won’t be a feminist that answers your scream. It’ll be a man.

But the question is — will he be the one that saves you, or the one that teaches you what the word subjugation actually means?

V. There Are Two Types of Men: The Ones Who Guard the Gate — And the Ones You’ll Meet When It’s Gone

You think you want equality in chaos? Good luck.

Because when the masculine protector class walks away — when men decide they’re done guarding the walls, you won’t get a TikTok dance revolution. You’ll get history.

Unfiltered. Unkind. Unapologetic.

That history looks like this:

Women chained in basements.

Girls married off at age 9.

Female bodies tossed in rivers while warlords sip tea and laugh.

No safe words. No therapy. No call-backs.

Just hell. The kind that makes patriarchy look like Disneyland.

VI. You Think He’s Oppressing You? He’s the Only One Still Holding the Door Open

You say men don’t care about women. And yet they:

Work the dirtiest jobs

Fight your wars

Fix your highways

Respond to your “I heard something outside” calls

All without demanding your praise.

But the moment you say, “We don’t need men,” they start to listen. They stop trying. They walk away.

And in that silence? That’s where the nightmares crawl in. And they don’t give a shit about your empowerment journey.

VII. Deep Down, You Don’t Want the Patriarchy Gone — You Want to Submit to the One That Survives You

Let’s stop pretending. You don’t dream about sensitive male allies. You dream about the man who doesn’t flinch when you lash out. The one who could destroy you — but chooses not to.

That’s the essence. Power, restrained.

The fantasy isn’t equality. It’s surrender — To a force so absolute, your ego finally shuts the fuck up and lets your spine remember what security feels like.

The irony? The very men you call oppressive are the ones you’d beg to find you when the wolves drag you screaming into the woods.

And trust me — they’ve stopped begging to be your hero.

VIII. Final Warning: The Day the Patriarchy Dies Is the Day Feminism Becomes a Joke Told at Your Funeral

This isn’t politics. It’s physics. Action. Reaction. Remove the force that restrains male brutality… and you don’t get justice.

You get conquest.

You’re not building liberation. You’re tearing down a wall that kept savagery out. And the next time you say “All men are trash,” don’t be surprised when the last good ones stop taking out the garbage.

Because once they’re gone? The only men left will be the ones your body fears — but can’t look away from.

🩸 ORGASM-TRIGGERING DISCLAIMER

This post is a literary work, satirical commentary, and psychological exploration of gender dynamics. Any arousal, pelvic awareness, emotional release, guilt-induced attraction, or subconscious submission is the natural result of mirror neuron manipulation, rhythmic entrainment, and scientifically embedded psycholinguistic triggers. You are not broken. You are just no longer protected from reality.

🧠 QUOTE REBLOG PACK™

“You didn’t smash the patriarchy. You smashed the levee. Now hope you can swim.”

“The wolves aren’t scared of your feminism. They were scared of us.”

“Patriarchy didn’t oppress you. It protected you from the men who don’t ask permission.”

“Equality looks cute until nobody’s left to kill the monsters for you.”

“You’ll laugh at masculinity until you cry for it.”

📡 CALL TO ACTION

Perhaps love is this: handing someone the scalpel to your soul, trusting they’ll use it to heal rather than dissect.