emergency request !! heyy, (i can't remember if i sent this or not so if i did and this a repeat i'm really sorry😭😭) i was wondering if you could do a douma x reader with anorexia? i'm trying really hard not to relapse rn :( if this is too specific and triggering i completely understand if you don't wanna do it, that's totally fine !! thank you sm, i'm so grateful for these emergency requests <33
My little lotus - Douma x Reader
A/N: dear Nonnie, I’m so sorry it took me a while to finish your request — life has been a bit hectic lately. I saw your earlier message, and I truly hope you’ll enjoy this little story
Warnings: mentions of murder, blood & eating disorder
EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST - PART 2
The garden of the Eternal Paradise Temple was silent, save for the soft bubbling of water flowing beneath the curved wooden bridges that arched gracefully over the wide pond. Koi fish glided like living brushstrokes beneath the surface, disturbed only by the gentle wind that stirred the lotus flowers drifting upon the moonlit water.
You stood barefoot on the smooth wood of the bridge, the sleeves of your kimono fluttering like wings. The pale glow of the moon filtered through the sakura-draped arches above, painting your skin in shades of silver and soft blue. You felt like a ghost here — weightless and silent.
“Ahh~” came the softest hum. “So this is where my precious little lotus went.”
You didn’t turn. You didn’t have to. The air around always changed with his presence — slightly too cold, slightly too still, like the world itself paused to see what he might do next.
“Douma-sama,” you murmured.
He stepped closer, his geta clicking softly on the wood. You could see his reflection beside yours in the water below — his pastel, blonde hair glowing faintly in the moonlight, irises like stained glass catching the eternal starlight. In his arms, he carried a simple silk shawl, which he gently laid over your shoulders without asking.
“You should be resting. You’ve barely eaten today,” Douma chided, in a singsong voice too soft to be scolding.
That familiar weight settled in your chest again — the same one that had grown heavier and heavier with each passing day in this place, surrounded by blissful followers, incense smoke, and too many eyes watching with blind adoration.
“I wasn’t hungry, my lord,” you whispered.
Douma leaned in, his cheek grazing your temple as his voice dipped into a singsong lilt. “Lies, lies, lies,” he cooed, each word sugar-dipped, “You always say that now, don’t you, my sweet little lotus? It wounds me, truly it does — when you’re in pain — and when you lie to me like that.”
A heavy silence settled between you, thrumming with unspoken memories.
The night when the veil had lifted, and you saw him for what he truly was.
It had been months ago. You’d gotten lost in the maze-like halls of the temple, chasing after the sound of quiet crying. You'd thought it might be one of the new initiates — scared and lonely. You never expected to find a woman cornered in the shadows, weeping, her back pressed to the wall.
And in front of her — Douma.
His mouth stained red, his eyes wide, truly mesmerizing, and cruel. Her limbs had hung limply from his arms as he cradled her like a child’s doll, biting down into her throat as though she was nothing more than a peach, ripe for the taking.
You hadn’t screamed but you had gasped.
Your back hit the wooden pillar before you realized you'd moved. Your legs wouldn’t obey.
His voice, still so calm, echoed from the dark, “You’re awake so late, darling. Did you lose your way?”
A lifeless body hit the wooden floor with a sickening thud, the sound echoing like a warning bell in the stillness.
Before you could even gasp, Douma was on his feet, and in the blink of an eye, he stood before you.
You remembered the smell of blood. The surreal sweetness of his smile. Your heart pounded like a rabbit’s.
You’d thought, he’s going to kill me. He has to.
But he didn’t. No. He only tilted his head and cupped your face gently in his bloodstained, clawed hands. “I should erase you, you know,” he had said. “It’d be so easy. So quick. But…”
His eyes softened — glazed with something that almost looked like awe.
“…I don’t want to. Isn’t that odd? My instincts are screaming, and yet, here I am. Talking to you. Cherishing you. And I’m not even sure why.”
You remembered the tears burning your eyes and rolling down your flushed cheeks, and how he wiped them away with his thumbs.
“Don’t be scared,” Douma whispered. “You’re special to me. I felt it from the start. A flower blooming in winter. I don’t want to lose you. Ever. You, my sweet Y/N, you’re my soulmate.”
That was the first time he called you his. A word so gentle, it might’ve been a vow — if not for the blood that still stained his hands.
You could never forget it.
The night you realized the beloved leader of the Eternal Paradise Cult wasn’t human at all, but something far, far darker — a demon wrapped in the most delicate silk of charm and grace, a monster draped in silks and sweet sermons, smiling with teeth meant for tearing flesh.
And yet, the most terrifying night of your life had ended not in death, but in his arms. He held you as your panic cracked and crumbled into numbness, his voice a soft, reverent murmur against your ear, whispering calming words.
As if he hadn’t just slaughtered a human being in front of you.
Now, standing with him under the moonlight, you touched the lotus-print shawl around your shoulders, grounding yourself.
“Do you remember the night I found out?” you asked quietly.
Douma’s eyes blinked slowly, like a cat’s. “Of course, sweetheart. I remember every expression your face made. Every little tremble.” His voice dropped lower. “And I remember thinking, I cannot let her go.”
You glanced over your shoulder at him, finding his eyes. “You didn’t kill me.”
“Indeed not!” Douma replied cheerfully, clasping his hands behind his back. “Though it’s quite unlike me. Normally, I tie up loose ends. But you? You’re not a loose end. You’re the thread that holds everything together. And you’ve missed a lot of meals lately, my little lotus,” he murmured, voice carrying like mist over water. “That’s quite unlike you, and it makes me worried. Isn’t it amusing though? A demon fretting over something as fragile as a human soul.”
He closed the last remnant of a distance between you, folding his robes gracefully as he sat on the edge of the wooden bridge. He always looked serene, even in concern.
“I’m sorry,” you murmured. “I just… I couldn’t,” you took a seat beside him, tightening your kimono around yourself.
He tilted his head, rainbow eyes catching the moonlight. “Couldn’t?”
“I look at food and I want to want it. But something in my head tells me I don’t deserve to eat. That I’ll regret it. That it’ll ruin me. And I know it’s wrong. I know I need to. But the feeling doesn’t go away.”
He didn’t speak immediately.
You braced for judgment. Mockery. Even gentle dismissal. But all he did was breathe out a sound that might have been a thoughtful hum.
“Humans suffer in such intricate ways,” he claimed finally. “You hurt yourselves with invisible things. Words. Thoughts. Ghosts in your own mind.”
You stared at the lotus petals drifting across the pond. “I don’t want to be like this,” you whispered. “I just want it to stop.”
Douma leaned a little closer, fingertips brushing the sleeve of your robe. “Then let me help. I’ve lived for a very long time, little one. And I’ve never met another soul quite like yours.”
You looked at him, hesitant. “I saw you eat someone.”
“I remember,” he nearly shrugged his shoulders, calm and unfazed. “You were so pale I thought you might faint.”
“Why didn’t you kill me?”
The koi stirred below. A frog croaked somewhere in the reeds.
Douma looked toward the pond, his voice turning softer than moonlight. “Because I couldn’t. I didn’t want to. Something in you stopped me.” He turned to face you fully. “I didn’t understand it at first. I thought it was madness. But I’ve come to believe that you and I are tied by something older than names. You saw me — truly saw me — and you didn’t run screaming to the others. You stayed.”
“I didn’t stay by choice,” you said quietly.
“No. But you didn’t try to escape again. You stayed. Even when I disgusted you.”
His fingers ghosted across the back of your hand now, barely a touch. “I’ve eaten hundreds of people. Thousands, maybe. I never remembered a single name. Not a single face. But you are different, and so precious to me.”
You couldn’t find your voice. “I’m so tired… I don’t know what to do and how to fight for my own self anymore…”
“I won’t tell you that your pain is wrong,” he replied softly. “But I will tell you this — if you vanish, I’ll lose the only warmth I’ve ever felt.”
Douma leaned by the edge of the moonlit pond, the sleeves of his attire trailing like whispers over the smooth wooden slats of the bridge.
Koi stirred beneath the surface, gliding past floating lotus blooms.
Slowly, he reached down — pale fingers parting the water with ghostly calm — and plucked a single blossom from among the lilies. Droplets clung to its delicate petals as the demon turned to you with that unreadable smile. He took your hand and placed the lotus in your palm, his fingers cold against your flesh. “I don’t want a paradise without you in it.”
“I don’t need your fear,” he added. “I want your trust. Your laughter. Your attention.” He smiled again, faint and strange and wistful. “I want to see you well, my little lotus. I want to feed you things you love until you glow again.”
“You speak as if you love me,” you whispered.
He tilted his head, that unreadable smile playing on his lips. “I might, indeed.”
The words felt heavy in the silence.
Then his smile widened, sweet and unsettling all at once. “Or whatever scraps of love a demon is capable of mimicking. I’ve never truly understood such things, but even the hollow echo of it can be beautiful, don’t you think?”
You were trembling again — but not from fear, not this time. It was something quieter, something stranger. A heat that coiled beneath your skin from the nearness of him, from the way his gaze held too much and yet nothing at all. He was terrifying. A predator wrapped in grace, in silk and honeyed words. But he had never lied to you. Not once. And somehow, in the presence of that terrible honesty, the part of you that had always clung to control — control carved through denial, through emptiness — began, at last, to loosen its grip. Just a little.
“Will you eat with me tomorrow?” he asked. “Just a bite. I’ll have the kitchen make those melon buns you like. The ones with the sugar crackle on top. “You need to eat to keep living, don’t you? To bloom again, like something wilted returning to spring. Just as we demons must feed on humans. It feels unnatural to you, monstrous, even. But to us? It’s survival. Nothing more than instinct written into our bones.”
You looked down at your knees. “I’ll try.”
“That’s all I ask of you,” he stated. “Whatever it is that’s hollowing you out — that quiet thing stealing you away, bite by bite — I’ll fight it. Even if I don’t understand it. If it means watching you thrive again, I’ll face it, over and over again, my little lotus.”
The lotus blossoms floated past you in silence, brushing the underside of the bridge. Fireflies danced above the pond, drifting between reeds and wind chimes. The moon watched everything from above, kind and distant.
Douma leaned his head on your shoulder. You let out a small, hopeful breath, feeling the strange, fragile thread of peace weave between you. And beneath the watchful moonlight, surrounded by the gentle hum of night, you allowed yourself to believe — just for a little while — that maybe somehow, you could heal.