#elogium

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[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Kathryn Janeway x Mark Johnson

We never get to see Captain Janeway’s fiancé in the flesh before the Voyager gets thrown into the Delta Quadrant, and frankly we kinda feel like Janeway missed the dog more than she missed Mark. She does get briefly tempted by the illusory version of Mark in “Persistence of Vision,” reminding us that she does have someone she wants to get home to, and she is even a little sad in “Hunters” when she learns he got married shortly after Voyager was declared lost… But that’s about it.

Neelix x Kes

Repeatedly and often we say on the podcast that we’d believe the Neelix-Kes relationship more if they were just friends because the romance angle seems superfluous. Kes is drawn to his worldliness and optimism, and Neelix is drawn to her even-keeled nature and innate kindness (she donates a lung in “Phage” for crying out loud!). Which is nice, except that you can get the same dynamic without them being romantic, which more often than not is displayed grossly in episodes like “Elogium” or through Neelix’s jealousy in episodes like “Parturition.”

Tom Paris x Lidell

For the first couple seasons, Tom is basically the ship’s skirt-chaser. He’s no Riker, mind you, in that we don’t see him woo a ton of alien women, so he might talk a bigger game than he plays. But in “Ex Post Facto,” we see it bite him in the ass when he gets involved with Lidell, a married woman who is just looking for any scapegoat to pin the murder of her husband on. The warning signs were all there, Tom!

Kathryn Janeway x Gathorel Labin

At first, the “free love” nature on Sikaris in “Prime Factors” seems like a fine opportunity for the crew to blow off some steam. It’s good for a while seeing Janeway loosen up with Gathorel Labin, even though his initial advances felt cringey as hell. And those first impressions prove right because once Janeway starts asking about their spatial trajector, Gath turns immediately ice cold. I guess he really only wanted one thing from Janeway, like the stereotypical man.

Harry Kim x Libby

How can someone possibly not have chemistry with Harry Kim? We know that Harry has a girlfriend back at home, and we get to meet Libby in “Non Sequitur” and frankly… meh? It’s mostly because she’s doesn’t match the acting of Garrett Wang, but we were terribly bored by their relationship. She plays the caring partner without particularly displaying that she cares that much and seems entirely oblivious to the fact that someone is clearly up with him. Pass.

The Doctor x Freya

Finally, our first instance that seems impactful! The Doctor does so much developing throughout the show in embracing his personhood, and you get a taste of that in “Heroes and Demons” when he not only gets to lead a mission but also gets the girl. And then tragically loses the girl. Even though Freya herself is a non-sapient hologram, finding that he can have feelings of love and loss definitely affects him going forward…

The Doctor x Danara Pel

In fact the next time the Doctor finds romance with someone comes up pretty shortly afterwards, this time with a real flesh-and-blood (and other Vidiian parts) person. In “Lifesigns,” his relationship with Danara Pel is very lovely and sweet. I’d say it’s not the same type of doctor-patient weirdness we criticized Julian for last week because they’re more on equal footing. The power dynamic gives Danara the choice of how she’d like to be treated, which really makes a difference. Plus the Doctor is so much less creepy at this point in the show.

Kathryn Janeway x Chakotay

For some reason, there are a whole bunch of J-C shippers in the community who really wanted Janeway and Chakotay to smash. The SSHB hosts don’t really buy it (the power dynamics are all wrong, and it takes quite a long time for the writers to settle on who Chakotay is as a character and not as a stereotype), but in “Resolutions,” we can almost see it. If Janeway could ever put her own happiness over getting the crew home, the two of them could make sweet sweet love in that hand-crafted tub.

Tuvok x Marayna

Tuvok’s got his wife T’Pel waiting for him back at home, so we’re not gonna see him really engaging in romantic relationships—it wouldn’t be logical! But that doesn’t stop women from trying! “Alter Ego” introduces us to one such lonely soul when we meet Marayna, who pretends to be Harry’s new holo-girlfriend for a while until she actually finds some kinship with the equally lonely Vulcan. It doesn’t get lovey-dovey in nature, but their commonalities do strike a chord.

Chakotay x Riley Frazier

When he’s not surrounded by pan flutes and squicky stereotyping, there’s a lot to love about Chakotay, and I in particular defend him all the time, especially referencing episodes like “Unity.” Chakotay is such a compassionate person that he might be the only one who would ever sympathize with the colony of ex-Borgs he stumbles upon, and his chemistry with Riley is truly lovely. Now when the two of them get intimate, does the whole colony feel it?

Kes x Zahir

For most of the time she’s on the show, Kes is in the afore-mentioned relationship with Neelix, so by the time she’s finally single in “Darkling” she’s able to hook up with this cute boy! And we actually dig it! Zahir seems like a good chap and he’s offering her the same kind of appeal that Kes initially saw in Neelix: the opportunity for adventure and new experiences! Something that most Ocampas would never fathom!

Tom Paris x Kes

Also while Kes and Neelix were still together, Tom gets a crush on her and is wise enough not to act on it, mostly due to that streak of Talaxian jealousy we talked about. But we kinda get to see the relationship that never was in “Before and After” when we’re shown an alternate future in which Tom and Kes have married and had a kid together, and damn, they really really work! They’re sweet and patient and genuinely care for each other, and even Neelix agrees!

B’Elanna Torres x Tom Paris

In actual reality, Tom and B’Elanna end up in the longest-lasting relationship… possibly in all of Trek? Their expression of love for each other in “Day of Honor” is one of my favorite Voyager scenes! Depictions of their pairing vary wildly since good storytelling typically involves having some kind of conflict, so we see them on bad days an awful lot, like in “Drive” and “Alice,” but we also see a lot of their very caring love for each other, like in “Nothing Human” and “Memorial.” Basically, when Tom isn’t being immature and B’Elanna isn’t being hostile, they’re a great couple.

Chakotay x Kellin

This one might be my favorite, which is shocking because the episode itself is so paradoxically forgettable. But “Unforgettable” gives us another of those depictions of what a great partner Chakotay would be. He and Kellin have chemistry absolutely all over the place. And again, because he’s the most empathetic man in space, he might be the only character who would give her absolutely ludicrous story the benefit of the doubt and we’re very glad he did!

Kathryn Janeway x Kashyk

We were really rooting for Kashyk not being a fascist piece of shit in “Counterpoint” because he and Janeway really gelled together. But like in “Prime Factors” or “Resolutions,” the captain will always put the mission over her own happiness, so when she sees through his facade, she gives up on trying to change him real fast even though they really made such beautiful music together… or at least listened to it.

Tuvok x Noss

We have one more one-sided relationship with Tuvok that we wanted to bring up. Again, Tuvok will never consider cheating on his wife no matter how many quadrants away he is, but his bond with Noss in “Gravity” still ends up somehow working. Like in “Alter Ego,” he stops it just at the cusp of getting romantic, much to Noss’s chagrin, but he’s able to show her just as much affection as he can, which is actually a lot for a Vulcan, so it counts.

Harry Kim x Derren Tal

Harry doesn’t get a lot of action… pretty much ever. And I’m skipping all his various wives from “Favorite Son” because he was basically brainwashed, and also his pining for Seven in “Revulsion” because that was infantile. But he gets a good one in “The Disease” because he and Derren Tal are a cute little couple for a while. It’s only dumb when Janeway hypocritically treats him like a child for hooking up with an alien—she’s one to talk!—and then the episode basically treats love as a disease. It’s a weird one.

The Doctor x Seven of Nine

Speaking of pining for Seven, we could almost (almost!) see shipping her and the Doctor. They’re both outsider characters learning to be people. They’re easily the strongest actors on the show who work excellently together. But damn, the Doctor is just so toxic sometimes in how he treats Seven like someone who needs to be fixed. Notably in “Someone to Watch Over Me,” it just comes across as gross, as this kicks off the era when we found the EMH really regressed.

Kathryn Janeway x Michael Sullivan

We can rag on La Forge or Barclay all we like (and we do!) for their antics in the holodeck, but Janeway’s affection for Michael Sullivan in “Fair Haven” and “Spirit Folk” just strikes us as severely out of character. Sure, make yourself a fuck puppet to your desired specifications. That’s what the holodeck is for! Janeway had already done something similar with Lord Burleigh, but for some reason she falls head over heels for Sullivan to the point that it starts affecting her work, something that never even happened when she got involved with real people!

Harry Kim x Lyndsay Ballard

We’re giving Harry one more time to shine and that’s in “Ashes to Ashes” when he’s reunited with the reanimated Lyndsay Ballard, or Jhet'leya as the Kobali have renamed her. And it’s so sweet to see Harry helping his old crush reacclimating to becoming more and more human (especially since it’s definitely in a more consensual way than how Seven was disconnected from the Borg), and when they finally get to act on their mutual feelings, it’s all the more tragic that she can’t stick around.

Seven x Axum 

While the rest of the crew (and the writers… and the audience) was busy sexualizing in Seven of Nine like hormonal teenagers, Axum was making actual headway with her by treating her like a person in “Unimatrix Zero.” Did we really need a Seven romance on top of this Matrix-style plot? Not really, but the two of them were really cute together and it’s probably the most comfortable we’ve ever seen Seven in her own skin, even if that skin is in an augmented reality.

Kathryn Janeway x Jaffen

Also near the top of our favorite pairings list is Janeway and Jaffen in “Workforce.” It’s just so nice to see Kat with someone whose company she can just enjoy without having to be burdened by the Voyager plight all the time. Sure, she’s memory-wiped, but the feelings are real! You really want Jaffen to join the ship by the end, but as usual, Janeway chooses the ship. Sad face.

Chakotay x Seven of Nine

Okay, hear me out. Since I usually end up defending Chakotay, I can definitely see the appeal in the Chakotay-Seven relationship. Her picking Chakotay as her specimen in “Human Error” makes a sorta sense because he’s comfortable and unjudgemental, even if that whole plot is creepy. And in “Endgame” when they’re actually together, they’re so supportive and sweet that I kinda ship it. It’s really just making it happen with so few episodes left in the show that wasted this opportunity.

Neelix x Dexa

Our final example is another very sweet relationship. Neelix’s whole arc really comes full circle in “Homestead” when not only does he rejoin a Talaxian community, but he is also given a chance for redemption after his backstory as someone who deserted the Talaxian-Haakonian War. Even better, his reunion with his own people sparks a new family unit when he joins Dexa and her son Brax. Dexa pushes Neelix to do the right thing for their people, and we’re so happy for them!

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