#ella talks

When I think of Soft Dark or Yandere, what I specifically mean is men that are a little crazy and obsessed with you, men who'd never ever dream of harming you but rather live to worship the very ground you walk on- and do whatever is necessary for you to be happy, and I do mean anything.

So with this in mind, please think of Anthony Bridgerton trying to hold himself back from reaching for the lovely duchess on every chance he gets- stopping himself from visiting her house every single day or staying for dinner when he does get to visit her because time just slipped by him, and it tends to happen only when she's around. He only holds back because of public scrutiny but in private? In private he's absolutely losing his mind, sending up to two letters daily that he has delivered to her front door step and pays whatever footman he sends on the errand extra for both keeping his mouth shut and to wait for a letter as an answer. He cherishes each reply he gets, even more so if it's just a small note asking for his presence to talk whatever matter or excuse he's managed to come up with, in person.

Think of Anthony Bridgerton who sees how busy his the duchess is with this first season and decides he can wait to start an official courtship next season... Only if she accepts his invitation to spend some of the winter months at Aubrey Hall with the lame excuse of continuing her lessons in a more intensive way, because he cannot picture himself lasting half a year without her near him. His family can barely stand his awful moods whenever he doesn't get to see her for more than two consecutive days. He's convinced that despite his terrible mood, he manages to hide the reason behind them; which is, of course, a total lie because everyone in the Bridgerton household and, dare I say, even the neighbors know it.

Think of Anthony Bridgerton who, for the first time in his life, takes an interest in fashion- particularly women's fashion and how heavenly the Bridgerton blue looks on your skin. Who, with the help of his mother and sister (also a duchess now, thanks to your meddling, he's told), manages to bribe the seamstress to design a whole wardrobe for you both as a married couple- combining Bridgerton blue with the deep red of your house. He pays only for the designs and asks the seamstress to wait for him to make it official to start with the whole production- not because he's not sure of this turning out well, but rather because you may have some input on the designs or, hopefully, your measurements would need some adjustments... Particularly on the lower belly area.

Think of Anthony Bridgerton who has spent so many years surrounded by other titled men who believe themselves above the law, who don't respect you as they should and constantly bad mouth you or mock your perfect speeches because that's all they can do when inside they're burning with the jealousy and inferiority that your competence provokes on them. He has to hold himself back from dueling each and every sorry excuse of human beings that try to bring you down. It's both by Simon's intervention and the knowledge that, by dueling anyone he would basically become a criminal and therefore you could never marry him, that hold him back from ever going through with it. However, with Simon's help and a bit of Daphne's, Anthony manages to get enough leverage on your most vocal adversaries to keep your name out of their mouths and in some cases, even getting their votes in favor of your proposals. Of course there are exceptions, pigheaded men who just won't accept you as part of the ruling class and who, even after losing significant amounts of power and influence thanks to Anthony's and Simon's own power, still pose a threat to you. Anthony prides himself in being a patient man, merciful even, so he gives them two chances to stop whatever it is that they're doing or planning against you. The first time they fail to listen to his warning, he's swift with making all of the blackmail material public, only affecting their social and economical matters and that is why he's merciful, because he knows they might think he was bluffing and here he shows he wasn't. When they ignore his second warning, that's when he gets his hands dirty. If asked, he will lie and say he hates to be pushed to such extremes. Truthfully, he delights in finally seeing the eyes of the mend who dared to insult you loose their light... Not before he makes them suffer, of course. There aren't many men who, after being outed in the ton as the scumbags they truly are, dare to stay in London for the season and much less that keep you as a priority for their nefarious plans as some sort of way to make themselves feel better; so Anthony takes the few chances he gets to truly let out all the violence and hatred all of them provoke in him. The police and press always report on the brutality of these murders, but no one truly mourns these losses when along such reports there's evidence (real or staged) about what a truly horrible and corrupt man the victim was.

And think of Benedict Bridgerton, too, please. Think of how obviously starstruck he's with you since the very first time he saw you walking towards the queen. Unlike his brother, the only interest he has in society is to be discrete enough in all his endeavors so his sisters' won't suffer because of rumors or backlash for his actions. That being said, his forwardness plays against him in this case because you take his genuine flirtation and interest as mere banter. Don't get him wrong though! He adores the fact that your eyes clearly search for him whenever you enter a ballroom or when anyone from the ton just won't get the polite dismissing answers you give them- he feels ten feet tall and like some kind of hero when he gets to swiftly come to your rescue. He's quite honored too that, soon after Daphne's wedding, you deem him trustworthy enough to tell him your secret about how you're from the future. Of course he doesn't quite believe it at first and worries the stress has gotten to you so badly that you're having a mental breakdown. It takes not only you telling him with total certainty the dates of some important historical dates (the battle of Waterloo and its consequences, for example) but also showing him some technology from the future and the magic of Balor for him to fully grasp the concept.

Benedict Bridgerton who ends up as your best friend without meaning to. Who loves to listen to your modern music full of lyrics and poetry and sounds he can never quite distinguish, who dances with you in your living room to Hozier and is the one who teaches you how to actually dance and the only one whose hand you'll take during a ball, daring to dance in front of the whole ton. Benedict who has filled at least two full sketchbooks with you- your angelic face, the way your hair looks under the sun's light, the pretty dresses you use to promenade and for balls, as well as the sinfully comfortable lounge-wear you introduce him to. He visits your house so often, the staff treats him more as a master than a guest. Of course, he does this without anyone outside your house knowing, for Balor gave him the greatest gift of all: a mirror portal into your home- one he could use as much as he pleased to travel immediately from his private room at Bridgerton House straight into the guest bedroom assigned to him at Lennox House; right beside the art room you've filled with all the materials he could ever want or need and let him explore thousands of new ways to explore his art, including the miraculous technology of photography and you as his perfect and constant muse.

But also, Benedict Bridgerton who's deadly afraid that at any moment you'll get bored with your time travelling adventure and simply disappear, slip through his fingers forever and be separated by whole centuries. He still frequents bars and gentlemen's clubs every so often not for the enjoyment (truly, what could be more enjoyable than watching one of those "mooh-bees" that were like perfect plays with you? Nothing), but rather to keep track of any scandals and ill-will towards you, because there is plenty. As a woman with political and economical power, you acquired enemies just by existing and, as much as you insisted you could handle it, he just couldn't take the chance. Most political opponents of yours were taken care of before Benedict could really make a plan to permanently take care of them and so he mostly had to take care of those without political power, without a title but with big mouths and furious about your power. Sometimes that would mean simply beating up a drunk lad who, when rejected by you, went into the bar to drown his sorrows and ended bad mouthing you and other times it was draining the blood of the third son of a barely relevant house who was planning on raiding one of your exporting ships to cause you some significant economic loss.

And I'll think of Colin Bridgerton when I wake up bc it's 3am here...