"You Wanna Run That Back?"
Fem!Reader x Kirishima x Bakugou (poly) – Domestic / Crack-Fluff / Post-baby chaos
Sequel here
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It was one of those mornings where everything felt just a little too loud.
The baby was fussing, you were half-asleep with your shirt halfway up, and Kirishima was shirtless in the kitchen making eggs one-handed like some kind of breakfast god while holding a bottle in the other.
And then there was Bakugou.
Bakugou Katsuki: combat-ready hero, battle-hardened, emotionally constipated... and currently shirtless on the couch, cradling his infant son with all the confidence of someone defusing a bomb. Which, honestly, might’ve been less terrifying to him.
You sat nearby, sipping coffee and watching with half-lidded amusement as Katsuki awkwardly adjusted the baby against his bare chest.
“You’re holding him like he’s radioactive,” you yawned.
“He is radioactive,” Bakugou grumbled. “He exploded in his diaper twice yesterday.”
“He’s three months old. He literally doesn’t know what a diaper is.”
Bakugou narrowed his eyes. “He knows enough. I see the look in his eye. He’s plotting.”
You snorted just as the baby started rooting—wiggling, snuffling, little fists clenched as he nuzzled against Bakugou’s chest.
“Uh, Katsuki,” you said, leaning forward, amused, “I think he’s looking for—”
Too late.
The baby latched.
To Bakugou’s nipple.
There was a full second of pure silence.
And then—
“WHAT THE F— OI!!” Bakugou shouted, absolutely scandalized. “WHAT—WHY—HE’S GOT TEETH—!!”
You howled with laughter, nearly spilling your coffee as Bakugou tried to detach his son, who was now happily suckling on his very confused, very muscular, very male father’s chest.
From the kitchen, Kirishima peeked in with a spatula mid-air. “Wait, did he—? Bro. Bro. Did he think you were—?”
“YES!” Bakugou yelled, holding the baby out like he’d just found out he was a secret landmine. “He bit me! This little goblin tried to breastfeed from me!!”
Kirishima was laughing so hard he had to put the pan down before he dropped it. “Bro, your chest is kinda soft lately—maybe he got confused!”
Bakugou glared murder. “Say that again and I’m burning your protein powder.”
Meanwhile, the baby was just giggling now, cheeks round and happy, hands reaching back out for his unsuspecting pseudo-milk-source.
“He just loves you,” you giggled, wiping your eyes. “He thinks Papa Boom is his backup bottle.”
“I will sue this child,” Bakugou growled, clutching his offended nipple. “I’m emotionally traumatized.”
Kirishima flopped onto the couch beside him, still grinning. “You sure you’re not lactating, babe? You’ve been glowing lately.”
Bakugou looked personally offended.
You got up, scooped the baby into your arms, and planted a kiss on Katsuki’s cheek. “Thanks for the tit-ful service, Papa.”
Kirishima wheezed.
Bakugou looked into the void.
“I hate this family.”
He didn’t, though.
Because an hour later, while you fed the baby from the correct chest, Katsuki was already curled up beside you, muttering under his breath while Kirishima tried not to giggle from the corner.
And when the baby finished and curled up between his dads with a sleepy little sigh, Bakugou was the one who kissed his head and whispered, “Try that again and I’m putting you up for adoption.”
