#eifs

“We coulda helped you,” Rosie purred, pulling at one of Steve’s suspenders before letting it snap back against his newly broad chest.

Startled, Steve blinked, “Uh. Sorry ladies. I’m married.”

“So am I,” Carol shrugged before fluttering her lashes. “Don’t gotta mean nothin’.” 

“Happily married,” he clarified.

They all groaned, deflating against whatever surface they’d been resting on. Steve cracked a smile.

“She pretty?” Barbara asked eventually. 

Steve’s lips quirked fondly, “The prettiest.”

Carol cooed, pinching his cheek, “Look at that blush! Well, when this is all over, you’ll hafta let us meet your Missus Rogers. Don’t tell her ‘bout the flirting, though.” 

“Or do,” Rosie said with a wicked smirk. “Keep her on her toes.”

“She’ll kill you,” Steve told them bluntly, meaning it. 

“Feisty! I like her already.” 

ii.

Barbara frowned “What’s it called again?”

“Durak,” Steve said for what had to have been the millionth time, burying his face in his hands. 

She and the rest of the girls were in nothing but their underclothes, Carol and Rosie’s hair in curlers and Vickie powdering her face. They were on the way to California and the bus was absolutely sweltering as they tackled the seemingly endless Mojave desert. Even Steve had stripped down to his boxer shorts, hyper aware of the beads of sweat dripping down his back. 

“Can’t we just play poker?” Loretta whined and Barbara nodded her assent. “Dur-lak’s too complicated!”

“And poker’s any easier?” Steve asked incredulously. 

“Yes, ‘cus I already know how to play it!” 

He groaned, slamming his head against the table, “Fine, Christ! We’ll play poker. Again.”

Carol tutted from across from him, a smile tugging at her painted lips, “You don’t gotta play, honey. We know you love to watch.” 

He wordlessly lifted a brow, unimpressed. She laughed lightly, leaning over her seat to swat his sweaty shoulder. 

“Kidding, Stevie. C’mon and deal. So I can kick all of your asses again.” 

“Oh, you bitch,” Barbara sneered, narrowing her eyes. “You just cheat!” 

Steve tuned out their bickering, passing the deck over to Loretta and insisting he needed a nap. They reminded him too much of the Barnes siblings and their incessant squabbling over everything and anything. Steve was beginning to lose hope of seeing Bucky any time soon, and with Brandt restricting his communication, he hadn’t been able to send him a letter in months. What he hadn’t anticipated, though, was how much he’d miss the rest of the family. Even Lena, the demon. 

Vivian made a puzzled noise, “What on Earth is Durlak?”

“Durak,” Steve corrected darkly. 

“Russian card game,” Rosie explained. “Stevie’s missus is a Red. He misses her.” 

“Aren’t you just the sweetest thing?” Vivian cooed, pinching his cheek as she stepped over him. “I’m not playin’ that shit, though.”

“Us neither,” Carol said with a grin. “Want me to deal you in?” 

“With you playing? Hell no. You little cheat.” 

iii.

“Rosemary,” Rosie introduced, letting her eyes go lidded and biting her lips coquettishly. 

Most of the girls had adopted a similar demeanor, batting their eyelashes at Bucky while Steve sulked behind him with crossed arms. Of course, Bucky was delighted by it all, looking much too chuffed for a man in the state he was. Eventually, though, he put an end to the fawning.

“Ladies," he began with a sigh. "I hate to burst your bubble, but I gotta get somethin’ off my chest.”

“Lay it on us, sweetheart,” Barbara purred. 

He pursed his lips, a smile threatening to break through, “I’m the wife.” 

Carol’s jaw dropped, “Shut UP!” 

Steve smothered a grin in Bucky’s neck, shoulders shaking with suppressed laughter.

“Oh honey, you’re just as pretty as Stevie said you were!” Barbara cooed, fussing over Bucky like he was Orson goddamn Welles instead of a dirt covered soldier in his army greens.

Bucky turned to Steve with a knowing smirk, “Just as pretty as Stevie said I was?” 

Steve rolled his eyes fondly, “Don’t act like you don’t know what a catch you are, you brat.” 

“Aren’t the two of you just adorable,” Vivian sighed dreamily. “My fella better love on me like this when we get home.” 

They were all ravenous

“Uh,” he frowned, peeking into the bag. “I think plums.”

The rest of them groaned but Bucky hissed an empathetic “fuck yes!” before snatching the bag right from Gabe’s hand, wasting no time in biting into the fruit. The second his teeth punctured the flesh of it, he let out an indecent moan, eyes fluttering shut. Steve knew he was staring—and he knew the others were staring too, the pieces of shit—but how couldn’t he? It was practically obscene, the way the plum’s juices dripped down his chin, pink tongue darting out to lap up that of it in the corners of his mouth. Steve swallowed.

He really needed sex.

Bucky smirked, seemingly sensing his arousal through their bond. When he caught sight of the others ogling him too, though, he rolled his eyes.

“Knotheads, all ‘a you. Even the betas. Knotheads by association. Just a big bunch ‘a freaks.”

“Can’t blame us, Sarge,” Morita sighed, earning himself a hard kick to the side courtesy of Steve.

“Ow! I wasn’t flirting!”

“No one’s allowed to look at him no more,” Steve snapped, moving in front of a laughing Bucky. “New rule. Everyone fuck off.”

“Now, that ain’t fair!” Dum Dum complained with a laugh. “I wasn’t starin’ in a creeper way, I was just thinkin’ he’s got God awful table manners maulin’ the damn thing like that. I mean, Christ, Jimmy. What would your poor Ma say?”

“Disgusting creature,” Steve and Bucky said together without hesitation.

“She seems like a doll.”

“Somethin’ like that,” Steve muttered, which got him a pinch to the backside as punishment.

He yelped, twisting away from Bucky who immediately went back for the bag and started going at another plum, exaggerating his bites and noises as he slurped loudly. Monty groaned, aiming a stick for his head.

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