#egun

like, a couple of weeks ago i was crying to my ancestors while cooking dinner. and i just kept saying how i felt like a fool for being played like i was and how i just wanted to die.

why all of a sudden, everybody plays the fool by the main ingredient start playing in my head repeatedly. not like it was stuck in my head, like my ancestors really wanted me to play the song for them.

i’m like okay, i turn on their little altar speaker and put the song on and y’all the first lyrics:

“Okay, so you’re heart broken.

You sit around mopin’,

Cryin’ and cryin’

You say you’re even thinking about dying?

Well, before you do anything rash, dig this:

Everybody plays the fool, sometimes.”

tell me why i immediately start laughing, i couldn’t even be sad anymore. they were really like “you’re not the first and you won’t be the last person to be played. get it together, girl.” but in the gentlest way possible.

anyways, i love my ancestors. they’re so funny, but so right 🥴

October 31, 2020

I’ve found the day rather interesting. The usual ancestral energies that rise around this time of year feel much calmer now — muted, yet potent. There is an etheric stillness that resists language. Believe me, I’ve tried. The veils are very thin.

There are moments when I like to take a step back and simply be with what is — without reaching for meaning, without trying to weave sense out of mystery. I sit and observe. I let the people and the environment around me, my shifting sentiments, and the quiet messages from beyond speak to my spirit. In that space, I can witness myself as a sentient being, in harmony with all that unfolds within and around me. No aching for the past. No scraping toward the future. Just the steady peace of being okay with now.

And this brings me back to the full moon. A particularly auspicious one. It’s referred to as a Blue Moon because it’s the second full moon to grace October, and it sits close to Mars — a planet of courage and momentum. This moon hastens the results of what we’ve been cultivating; it brings forth the fruit of long-held effort.

The moon transits Bharani nakshatra in the sign of Aries. Earlier, in April, the New Moon in Aries fell within Ashwini, the first constellation of the Ram. At that time, many of us felt a sudden surge to begin anew — to act on our desires and explore new terrain. Ashwini holds the purity of prana, raw life force, in its unrestrained expression. Bharani now takes that same life force and asks us to bear it — to cultivate, contain, and ultimately birth it. This is the work of creation, and it is the weight and wonder we carry.

Bharani comes from the same root as “bear” — as in to bear something, to carry it. It reflects feeling the consequence of that which has been sown. This constellation is symbolized by the woman’s reproductive organ, which receives, incubates, and delivers life force in its manifested form. Here, we feel the weight of past actions — which can be experienced as either positive or negative, depending on what I like to call the seed programming involved. What was the foundation on which this seed was planted or projected?

Because we are in the zodiac sign of Aries, there is a focus on our personal power and the mark it leaves. In Bharani, the energy is concentrated and tightly woven, directing its force toward creating a desired effect.

During this time, a sense of urgency may arise around a particular project or choice. We may feel the impulse to act spontaneously, yet simultaneously recognize the illusiveness of such actions — and see the necessity of the restrictive, corrective energy present. Discipline and purposeful action are essential here, particularly for refinement and alignment.

With this moon, take some time to enjoy the company of family or a long-forgotten loved one. With ancestral holidays unfolding, the time is ripe for communion with those who have passed. Feed your Spirits, dance, and play music for them. Fill your home with the fragrances that evoke their presence. Venture into the woods. Listen, receive, and also give in return. I remember times when I would sing to my favorite tree — offering her the sweetness of raisins and water in gratitude for her clearing and strength. I could go on and on.

This season has always held deep meaning for me and my family. Blessed Samhain to those who celebrate, and a Happy Full Moon to all!

—

“Keep your head right and your ancestors tight.”

- Iya Mbele, @mbele_kongoprincess_llc (Instagram)

Explanation: Your orí is your head; your consciousness and your conscience. Without reverence to yourself first and your own state of mind, reverence to other entities becomes tainted. Without permission from your orí, nothing you do will be in alignment with your destiny.