#edward sallow

Rip Edward Sallow, you would have made a interesting college professor

Clarice’s grandparents exploiting and neglecting both their children despite being so upset about their deformed stillbirth because a fetus is a nonentity you can project onto while a child has an actual identity that gets in the way vs Clarice’s dad abandoning four male children and raising his only girl because the boys couldn’t do for him what the girl could do for him, it wasn’t personal, they could just never hope measure up vs Clarice’s dad cycling through an endless procession of lovers until his death because no adult woman could recreate the complete psychological exclusivity and control he experienced as Clarice’s father vs Clarice spending the rest of her life trying to find someone who could fill the hole left behind by her father’s death because she never had a sense of identity or purpose outside of attending to him, and ostensibly finding that person in Edward’s dad vs Clarice giving birth once right before menopause so she can’t replace her son with anyone, he’s all she’ll ever have, he’s got full exclusivity, if he dies or leaves her she’ll probably go mad, isn’t that nice, doesn’t he like that vs Edward keeping names and titles in the Legion and assigning them to new men when the old ones die so he can always have a new legate a new frumentarius a new praetorian a new whatever the fuck he wants. Like everything else he does it’s just one big impotent effort to strangle his own infant self in the crib. Caesar will never forgive Caesar for being what he was when he was a baby. So now everyone under his thumb needs to experience identity violence too.

It is Caesar’s fault his successors are insulated and uneducated. Their oncoming collapse is his fault. He killed his sons! Like Saturn. Is that why, even though he positioned himself as the Son of Mars, Lanius looks more like Mars than him? He created his own totemic father like a golem and by electing him as his successor, he displaces the final responsibility for killing the Legion off of him and onto Lanius. If he can’t have the world he wants he’ll sic Lanius on it like a dog. He’s like a really abusive mom with an equally shitty husband she directs at people.

Watched a video about FNV and late stage democracy. Ends with a passage on fascism titled “we’ll miss democracy when it’s gone.” And it’s just. Lmao. So you agree? Liberal democracy uses the threat of authoritarianism to keep people from complaining too much? Even when they’re being systematically exploited? Hence why Mussolini, who was shown on screen in the video, called it “corporatism?” That’s why Caesar is from the NCR? Come oooooooon look at your surroundings with a little contempt please.

Caesar suffering when he was an infant then entering the narrative of FNV as an old man. Having that trauma come in the form of losing a father then writing a mythology where his father’s a war god, all-powerful, divinely invulnerable. Lol. No matter how mad you get or how nasty you are you couldn’t stop being helpless and weak and vulnerable and the longer you live the closer you inch towards returning to that state of complete dependance. It never mattered whether you deserved it or not. Exploitability is coming for you regardless. Silly old bitch.