#edward sallow

Watched a video about FNV and late stage democracy. Ends with a passage on fascism titled “we’ll miss democracy when it’s gone.” And it’s just. Lmao. So you agree? Liberal democracy uses the threat of authoritarianism to keep people from complaining too much? Even when they’re being systematically exploited? Hence why Mussolini, who was shown on screen in the video, called it “corporatism?” That’s why Caesar is from the NCR? Come oooooooon look at your surroundings with a little contempt please.

Caesar suffering when he was an infant then entering the narrative of FNV as an old man. Having that trauma come in the form of losing a father then writing a mythology where his father’s a war god, all-powerful, divinely invulnerable. Lol. No matter how mad you get or how nasty you are you couldn’t stop being helpless and weak and vulnerable and the longer you live the closer you inch towards returning to that state of complete dependance. It never mattered whether you deserved it or not. Exploitability is coming for you regardless. Silly old bitch.

Caesar trying to explain what his fucking problem is to Joshua who’s community is oriented around religious trauma: listen it’s like being haunted by your sins but the sin was accidentally killing your conjoined twin when you were a baby

Since Caesar’s design (and his throne’s design) is so aggressively phallic I think the head priestesses’ design should be yonic, perhaps her chair has folds of silk and satin or something, something that looks wet.

Edward identifies as a man who grew up without a father and was damaged by that but his damage is about like, seven other things, mostly that his father was murdered while he was in the house as a toddler and his family was displaced in the same incident. But you won’t hear that part out of him. Only “he grew up with no father.” It’s more comfortable to believe that’s the problem, for him. Makes him look like a hero.

Part of the creation of a power imbalance between Joshua and Edward imo was that Edward could have his mistresses, his mother-stand-ins, his female comforters who helped make his myths, be that the notion that Caesar was fully heterosexual or, y’know, Lanius, eventually. The Laniuses. Laniusi. But Joshua. Oh boy. Every time Joshua took a lover, Edward contrived a way to fuck that shit up. They did everything together, including women. Joshua usually didn’t touch Edward’s women, and Edward did the same to Joshua, but Edward was the Caesar between them. So Edward could kill Joshua’s girls but Joshua couldn’t return the favor. Forever tipping the scales back and forth, inching closer to total domination over Joshua’s body.