#edward coristine

To recap: Tumblr won’t let me search the self-chosen name of a teenager who literally has access to private, sensitive identifying information of millions of people and businesses. Because he chose the name “Big Balls.” How am I to shitpost under these conditions?

Crucially, if you haven’t seen it, this is Big Balls:

Union asks judge to block Elon Musk's DOGE from Labor Dept systems

I am fascinated to see if my Social Security check gets deposited next month.

Alex Samuels at Daily Kos:

Edward “Big Balls” Coristine is back in government, less than a week after reportedly resigning from Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency, Wired reports. The 19-year-old employee, who became a meme-worthy symbol of Musk’s government overhaul, has now resurfaced at the Social Security Administration as a special government employee. But the timeline of his exit from DOGE and his entry into SSA is, at best, a bureaucratic tangle. “His work will be focused on improving the functionality of the Social Security website and advancing our mission of delivering more efficient service to the American people,” SSA spokesperson Stephen McGraw told Wired.

On Tuesday and Wednesday, multiple outlets, including Daily Kos, reported that Coristine had stepped down. That reporting was based on a White House official’s claim that Coristine had left both DOGE and federal service entirely. But by Thursday, a Trump administration official told The New York Times that Coristine had, in fact, only resigned from the General Services Administration—the agency through which DOGE operates—not the government altogether. The SSA gig came later.  The conflicting reports, a White House official said, were due to internal miscommunication. SSA confirmed Coristine’s new role as a special government employee—a designation that allows him to “perform important, but limited, services to the government, with or without compensation, for a period not to exceed 130 days” in a one-year period, according to McGraw and the White House official. It’s the same classification Musk used during his stint at DOGE.

Elon Musk just took over the US treasury computers; locked out the real employees, and put this selection of Shitler Youth* in charge.

These are the tech bros dismantling democracy in America at the behest of unelected Elon Musk. Basically a bunch of spoiled rich brats.

Elon Musk’s team of young DOGE disruptors have been unmasked, much to the ire of the billionaire and other MAGA figures. One is a 19-year-old college freshman and heir to a popcorn fortune. Another was hosting Model UN sessions in 2019 and a third was given money by his parents to invest in stocks while at his high school in Silicon Valley. [ ... ] Musk’s team of youngsters, as first reported by WIRED on Sunday, is Akash Bobba, 21, a student at the University of California, Berkeley; Edward Coristine, 19, a student at Northeastern University in Boston; and Ethan Shaotran, 22, who said in September he was a senior at Harvard. The ones who actually have degrees, or at least have left college, are: Luke Farritor, 23, who attended the University of Nebraska without graduating; Gautier Cole Killian, a 24-year-old who attended McGill University; and Gavin Kliger, a 25-year-old who attended Berkeley; The group’s relative lack of experience—especially no previous positions in government work—has Democrats crying foul they were granted access to sensitive records while remaining largely in the shadows, away from public scrutiny. All six desperately tried to cover their digital tracks recently, almost all of them deleting LinkedIn profiles, X accounts and even Facebook.

The most peculiar one, Gavin Kliger, is a Matt Gaetz groupie.

But what Kliger really wants the world to know about is his belief in male MAGA warriors Matt Gaetz and Pete Hegseth’s brilliance, using his Substack to post about them both. Gaetz, who was investigated over allegations of teenage sex trafficking, was, according to Kliger, a victim of “the deep state.” Hegseth, a serially unfaithful former Fox News star accused of sexual assault, drunkenness, and receiving lap dances while in uniform, was, he wrote “the warrior Washington doesn’t want but desperately need.” Kliger, whose Cornell graduate father is an attorney for Experian, appears happy to monetize his DOGE experience: he has made the entry about DOGE on his Substack for $12-a-month subscribers only.

Kliger even looks like an aspiring Matt Gaetz. Maybe he'll use the fees from his Substack to finance Gaetz-style cosmetic surgery.

^^^ The "Gaetz gaze"

Here they are, The Elon Youth. Rich boys engineering the destruction of your future.