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“Rest,” that was the special word. The word for sleep. That was their reward. “for the next time the Lord shall require you at your best”

It was one of those days - the special days. The calming voice told them to rest, which meant they did a very good job. As entities of light, they didn’t really need sleep, food or anything mundane, for that matter. But all of those who had bodies were permitted to indulge in certain activities if they had been good enough, glorious enough. 

The talk on the corridors was of happiness. “Aaah we did well! Resting! Can you believe it! Thank the Lord for this wonder!!” they would say happily around “Rest, but don’t forget your duties. Next time we should work even better” was the more realist, serious version. All in all, however, they were all happy, all wanting to get to their accommodations and rest on their blessed beds.

For Camael, however, it was a different story. The angel was the calming voice, the glorious reward, the warning. Camael was all those voices at once. But that also meant being generic. Camael knew that and was always humbled by the privilege the Lord had given it. Being used as His voice and His eyes whenever needed was the greatest gift. 

But lately… 

Sometimes it was like Camael, too, got a moment of rest. However, the angel did not know what to do with those, as they felt empty and devoid of purpose for -unlike everyone else- there was no body to rest.  And so it would stay on stand by, studying and waiting until the next moment it would be of use.

“You did an excellent job today” “God is watching” “Your prayers are heard” “Pray, child, and you shall be heard” “You did a marvelous job today” “Rest”

“You did a good job today” it would  say that so many times after all good action, job well done or battle won. And after all the news and reports were said and done, there it was again. That sort of silence. The silence was that of paradise and it’s thousands upon thousands of entities. On a normal day, Camael would be able to see through their eyes and listen to their every thoughts all at once. it could still read them all right now if it so desired. But that was the catch: “desire”. Camael wasn’t being used at that very moment, and that’s where the silence came from.

It wasn’t listening to God’s voice.

It made it impassive during the first few, sparse times. Then grateful as it was being treated as all others. And then, curious. 

What was the Lord planning? ************

Camael was a different type of angel. At first, it was respected and loved, as were all brothers. But then, many things happened. Lucifer had been casted out. The first humans were expelled from paradise - a task entrusted to Camael, no less! But after that, all crumbled. Soon, humans wouldn’t accept it in their scriptures, and while the Lord and all the original brothers still loved Camael, the name started to fade.

“Pray, and you shall be heard” 

Before, there was no need for a body. But after another of those resting moments -that, Camael noticed, were starting to get more and more frequent with time-, the angel got itself thinking that, perhaps, the lack of a body made it all the less of a presence. There was no recognizable voice or features. 

“You are not alone”

Camael was a feeling, and whatever the message was being delivered, that was Camael. It could make people feel it, sure - it was only a matter of making their brains believe so. But without a fixed image, it would be almost impossible to keep the illusion for too long. A lingering voice that you know but can’t describe. A face you saw, but can’t recall. A presence you remember clearly, but can’t point out. Camael was a shadow. 

“A shadow” it would think about it and what it represented for a long time before anything happened. Days and nights would come and go as the seasons, and that would be everything in Camael’s mind aside the calming white noise provided by all the human prayers combined at once, and that it would listen constantly — another task it humbly received at it’s creation. But then the day came, when Camael structured a more complex line of thought about itself: “I am a shadow”

You see, the interesting part wasn’t that Camael recognized itself as a shadow. Oh, no. That, it had noticed a long time ago. The real problematic change was a single, apparently innocent pronoun, “I”, and everything it carried with it: A sense of self, of individualism, of free will. 

“I” was the beginning of a silent revolution.

************

After the first time Camael discovered being slightly different than the others, they started observing more in an active way, and taking more notice of little details here and there. As before, they did not know what were God’s plans in making them free for a few moments, but they were grateful nonetheless. Their God could never do wrong.

Camael wanted to have some sort of experience. Any experience would suffice, be it positive or negative, as long as it was genuine and theirs. That meant Camael couldn’t read anyone’s mind nor know previously how said situation would turn out to be. It had to be completely randomic.

A difficult wish.

Heaven had a very strict set of rules when it came to it’s positions and laws and there was no exceptions to any cases. Ever. They were as perfect as God had made them. As the Lord’s eyes, Camael witnessed everyone’s behaviour and thoughts constantly and reported once a day to their brother Metatron. That way everyone was kept under a firm eye and, by consequence, kept under the rules as much as possible, and any and all defiance was recorded on a score-point type of system. All the original brothers, like Camael, had theirs added automatically as per God’s creation. 

The better your points, the safer your position. The lower the points, the more you’d be put under constant surveillance, and, if the points got too low and the entity was deemed without saving, the angel was either relieved of their position -that is, eliminated- or fell from grace (God’s merciful way of sparing it’s own work while still making them hold responsibility for their actions). Whatever came faster.

So how to get a new experience and be completely neutral when you are the one entity to watch everyone? Camael found a simple answer. 

On a bright day after a big fight against Lucifer’s armies, the soldiers were tested, rewarded, sent to quarantine or relieved from their positions and Camael saw himself free once more after doing all that work. The first thing that came to their mind was that the next person they saw would be the one angel they would interact with, be it good or bad. 

And that was exactly what they did: waited until someone closed their eyes (to see through them the next time they were open) and as soon as he saw that one archangel, he decided it was the one. Better yet, his army had just won a fight so everyone was given a good night of rest. So bravely enough, Camael made the first move.