I always get shit grades in my tests for my subjects and in maths I keep earning myself and E. I'm in the second set so I don't understand why I keep failing. I even asked my teacher why I still am in this set and she had no answer. She doesn't know why. Clearly I'm too dumb for this class. The teacher then said that I don't try hard enough/don't revise and don't really care for the work so I kind of shut up because I guess it was true. Now I realise I have something to say to her because now I am doing my maths homework, I have realised that I have previously tried to work hard and understand the topic but I simply cannot. I do not know why but I really believe my intellectual level has reduced big a huge amount.
This problem is not only in maths but also in my science subjects too. I am a literal failure. When it comes to subject where you really need to think, I'm so dumb. To think that I spend my whole primary life at the top of the class and teachers always giving me more to do and now suddenly I have crashed right to the bottom. I thought being average was bad but now I am just below average and nobody is willing to help me. If I say anything to my parents, it will all me thrown back at me because it's my fault.
I have zero idea what to do. All I think I know is that I am going to fail my GCSE's. My friends don't even help because I act like I don't give a damn because I am so used to getting that same letter on my papers but truthfully, I really do care because I am sick of it.
A C would do me justice right now.
The only subjects I am okay at are English and History but in my recent English exam, I had almost no preparation for it and but I just had faith in myself and Allah (swa) to help me because MashAllah I have some natural English talents in me. In history, the person I sit next to disturbs me so much and I was put next to her to help her get better at history but instead I'm just slacking now. I have let my guard down.
I am just borderline managing a C in Geography and in art I only have coursework but I'm not a natural in Art either.
Seriously this year is just going to be another year of lessons and I didn't prepare for this because I was optimistic. Instead, I have tried to go through with my resolutions and found out that I was slacking. LIKE I DIDN'T EVEN REALISE. We have less than a year left of school and I am failing. Exams are next year then off to the "6th Form" stage (I may do Baccalaureate IF I DON'T FAIL IN MY GCSE).