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MY MY! I must say I’ve become very popular since my mystery post about my new series. Anyway here is my Office x Fantastic Beasts crossover. Things you need to understand before you read this. As The Office is done in a documentary style, I’d decided to write this fan fiction as a script. Meaning the actions will be in italics and the person who is speaking will have their name in bold. Hopefully this makes sense and reads okay for you guys. This first episode is just going to be an introductory episode to all my characters and for you to get a feel for the style. There are a couple of made of characters that are based on different characters in The Office, but only one person knows who is who ;). Also please note that I am fully aware that Newt is from the 1920′s/30′s and cameras were not invented...for the sake of the fanfiction, let's bring Newt to the 20th century ;)! Thanks to you wonderful people. Once again thank you to my bestie @fantasticnewtimagines for all the loving support!! Enjoy! <3
Camera zooms in on you. You stand at the entrance of a corridor of office rooms. There are people walking around and you try to flag someone done, but they are all too entranced with what they are doing and they don't notice. You look into the camera.
Y/N: I'm new, I'm just trying to find Newt Scamander?
The camera motions to the first office. The door has claw marks running down it and is scorched in the corner. You walk over to it, awkwardly thanking the camera man as you scoot past him. You hesitantly knock on the door. Behind the door, rustling can be heard and a loud bang. As you open the door to find out what happened to the person within, a little black creature scurries out and runs past the camera. A man in a long blue coat follows and collides with you.
Newt: Bugger! He's escaped again.
Y/N: Are you Newt? I'm Y/N, I'm here to work as your assistant? Minister Parkinson hired me last week?
(Newt scratches his head trying to remember. Suddenly he looks over into the camera and his eyes continue to look back as you speak. Uneasy about their presence.)
Newt: Oh those bloody cameras.
(Newt looks at the camera. A voice is heard from behind the camera man.)
Director: Come on Newt we talked about this.
- NEWT INTERVIEW-
Director: It's just a documentary for the wizarding world. You know, to show people the inner lives of the average Ministry worker.
(Newt fidgets with his bow tie and accidently undoes it from nerves.)
Newt: I-I-I'm not sure how comfortable I am with all this.
(He continues to try and retie his bow, but keeps fumbling over his fingers and he keeps trying to make eye contact with the camera.)
Director: Don't sweat it Mr. Scamander. Just pretend like the camera isn't even here. We'll take you in to ask questions every now and then but otherwise, just go about as your normal Scamander self.
(Finally Newt proceeds to get a hold of himself and begins to redo his tie and completes the task.)
Director: Don't sweat it Mr. Scamander. Why don't you just give us a brief introduction.
(The camera goes in and out of focus while it tries to capture Newt's face. He blinks rapidly to try and gain confidence as he looks shyly into the camera.)
Newt: Hi...ummm...I'm Newton Artemis Fido Scamander... not sure why I gave you my full name... people just call me Newt. I work in the department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. I recently just joined the ugh...umm...beasts division. I've been with the ministry for 5 years now. My family is very involved in the ministry, so naturally I joined on. Need to keep up with the family. Unfortunately, Magizoology isn't a glamorous ministry job.
( Newt sits in his chair visibly uncomfortable. He tries various positions but ends up settling into his normal position of having his leg cross over his other knee.)
Newt: The minister feels I'm kind of a lose cannon.
( Newt runs a hand nervously through his hair, his wand in his hand.) Therefore he thinks I have a need for an assistant. So I do believe my day will be sent getting her acquainted with the office.
- END OF NEWT INTERVIEW -
(Newt looks back from the camera to you and taps his lips with his wand. )
Newt: Yes, yes Y/N. Minister Parkinson did say you would be starting today. It's a pleasure to meet you. I hope I won't make your job too difficult. I know I can be a bit eccentric.
( The camera focuses on your face.)
Y/N: Eccentric doesn't bother me in the least, Mr. Scamander.
Newt: Oh, please call me Newt. Let me introduce you to the others in our little corridor here.
(Newt begins to walk to you and the camera follows behind. As you come up to the door across the hall from Newt's, you see crazy designs and odd thumping of what sounded like music. Newt knocked on the door, there is no answer so Newt slowly opens the door. In the middle of a room is an older fatter man wearing a baseball cap backwards with a t-shirt with basketball shorts that are too big and are halfway down his legs, boxers exposed. He turns while dancing and sees Newt and you standing in the doorway. He quickly dances over to his boom box and turns down the music. The camera pans over to you and Newt. Newt gives the camera an expressionless stare as if to say he has no words for how embarrassing this is. You just keeps blinking, hoping that as some point your mind will etch this out of your memory).
Robert Biggleswade: Newt! What's cracking my homie.
(He sees your blank stare at him and shakes your hand.)
Robert Biggleswade: I'm Robert Biggleswade.
Newt: Yes, Yes sorry Biggleswade, this is Y/N Y/L. She's my new assistanct.
( Newt shakes his head and squints his eyes trying to unsee everything that just happened.)
Robert Biggleswade: I'm in the Muggle Liasion Department. I get the shiz done!
- Robert Biggleswade Interview -
Robert Biggleswade: Yeah dude, I'm totally hip with all the muggle slang. I've been in this position for nearly 30 years. I eat, sleep, dream and brush my teeth with muggle studies. Check it, one day I found these old brick things and I put them in this here brink player (He holds up a VCR) and I watched all these moving images that tell really rad stories. So when I saw these I was like listen homie, I don't play no games and I decided to step up my game and live the muggle lifestyle. Fo sho.
- End of Robert Biggleswade -
(The camera focuses on Newt and you as he closes the door and begins to walk with you to the next door.)
Y/N: Is, is he alright?
Newt: Yeah, he found a muggle movie viewing device and watched a lot of movies from the 80's and 90's. He's kinda gone a little overboard with it. He's an odd one.
Y/N: Umm yeah that's a bit of an under statement and he represents wizards when he talks to muggles?
Newt: They don't send him out on jobs anymore. I think the only reason he's still here is they feel bad and because he's been here so long, they just figure if they give him odd jobs now and again it keeps him content.
(You two reach the next door. The outside of the door is enchanted with falling rose petals and flowers. Newt pushes them away from him as he knocks and opens the door. The room is filled with girly decorations and the sounds of chitter chatter. A woman sits at her desk chatting away on the phone.)
Bridget Kent: That's what I'm saying though, it's so ridiculous they'd have to believe it. Ummm that's what I'm trying to tell you. Just do it and let me know what they say. (She gets off the phone and looks up and Newt and you. She excitedly gets up from her desk and comes to meet you both.)
Newt:Bridget Kent, this is Y/N Y/L. She's just starting today as my assistant. Bridget here works for the Muggle-worthy excuse committee.
(Bridget grabs yours hands and jumps up and down.)
Bridget Kent: Oh my God, I am so excited to have another girl here to talk to. Oh my God, it gets crazy boring with all these guys. No offense Newt. Oh my God, I swear we are going to be like best friends...
)As Bridget carries on, you just politely smile and try to take in all of her energy. Newt smirks next to you, hiding it under his hand.)
- Bridget Kent Interview
Bridget Kent: I love my job cause it's like I get to tell all these stories and make people believe it. Like say there's a big like magical outbreak and you're like oh my God, we can't have these muggles think we're all wizards and stuff so we have to explain it and stuff. I get to be like oh well just tell them blah blah blah. I'm like a really amazing story teller. I love making up stuff and talking.... I mea--
-END OF BRIDGET KENT INTERVIEW-
Y/N: You did that on purpose.
Newt: I have no idea what you're talking about.
(The camera catches you smiling and shaking your head at Newt for allowing Bridget to talk up a storm about the latest muggle excuse she was working on and hugging you with promises of the greatest friendship the ministry will ever see. You both continue walking down the hall to a larger room of two desks. A younger man sits at one desk. He looks very normal and well groomed. The other desk doesn't seem to have an owner. Newt walks up to the man behind his desk and shakes hand. You follow and so the same.)
Rodger Skye: Hi Newt. Is this the new assistant?
Newt: Yes this is Y/N Y/L. This is her first day. Brought her around to Bridget and Biggleswade already.
Rodger Skye: And you're still here. Well that's a miracle.
Y/N: Wow… sorry you're very… well… normal… I guess I'm kind of waiting for something crazy to happen.
RODGER SKYE INTERVIEW
Rodger Skye: (He sits relaxed in the chair seemingly exhausted from what is his life.) What do you guys want from me? I work for the International Magical Office of Law department. Nothing special. Mostly my job is babysitting the corridor. My office mate is like a toddler so I mostly just watch after her. (The camera can see the sinking realization that life kind of got away from him as he whispers,) I don't get paid enough...
-END OF RODGER SKYE INTERVIEW-
(Newt nods his head over to the open desk.)
Newt: How is Claire today?
(Rodger lets out a sigh of annoyance and runs over to her desk. He grunts as he leans over the chair and pulls up a sleeping Claire Manchester. She is asleep with her mouth open and sunglasses over her eyes.)
Rodger Skye: She got bored so she but some fire whiskey in her tea. I think she ended up drinking the whole bottle.
(The camera captures a empty bottle of fire whiskey next to her desk. Rodger gets her situated in the chair and props her head with her arm on the desk.)
Y/N: What's with the glasses?
Rodger Skye: It's an idea I got from one of Biggleswade's Muggle Movies. I know Minister Parkinson is coming by today, so I just figure he'll think she's just hung-over like usual.
-CLAIRE MANCHESTER INTERVIEW -
( Claire sits in the chair, motionless. Her head is pointed to the camera. The camera zooms into the glare of her sunglasses to reveal Rodger in the background. As the camera zooms back out of Claire's face, a charm is muttered in the background and Claire's mouth begins to move but Rodger's voice comes out, higher pitched and with a bad Irish accent.)
Rodger Skye as Claire Manchester: Ello thar laddies, I'm Claire Manchester from Belfast. I work in the Ludicrous Patent Office. Hardy Hardy Ha.
(The camera turns around as Rodger put her wand down.)
Rodger Skye: What? Is that all you need from her?
( The camera nodds in agreement and Rodger puts a charm on Claire's body and carries her out of the interview room.)
- END OF CLAIRE MANCHESTER INTERVIEW -
Newt:You wouldn't of happen to seen Niffler around here at some point? He took off when Y/N came in this morning.
Rodger Skye: Have you tried Milton's office? You know Niffler loves his ministry awards. Has she met Milton yet?
( There is a crash and the camera flashes to Milton Leighton's office. It is in mass disaster as Niffler runs around trying to take cover from Milton's wand fires.)
Milton Leighton: I've got you know you little runt!
(Newt runs in with you and automatically summons Niffler with the accio charm. Niffler comes out from his hiding spot and slams into Newt's chest as he shoves Niffler in his coat's inner pocket.)
Milton Leighton: NEWT! That's the 3rd time this week that little pest has wreak havoc on my office! Next I take him to the Pest Advisory Board.
Newt: Oh come on Milton, he's just a little curious... and you know he loves your shiny awards.
- MILTON LEIGHTON INTERVIEW -
Milton Leighton: Yes, I have a lot of awards. I work hard here. I don't waste my time like half of my ridiculous co-workers. I've been working here for 15 years in the Improper Use of Magic division. Soon I will be the best Auror the wizarding world has ever seen. I was top of my class at Hogwarts and I even went to extra classes to excel past every student there ever was or will be. I am best friends with the Minister and therefore it's only a matter of time before I'm out of the rejects office and into an Auror's office.
-END OF MILTON LEIGHTON INTERVIEW -
(As Newt and Milton continue to argue, you try to use your assistant skills and diffuse the situation. The camera moves from this scene to see Minister Parkinson walking in. He looks at the camera and makes a face that says 'what is going on here?'. The camera doesn't answer him so he instead walks over to the group and gets involved.)
Minister Parkinson: Alright, Alright you two, what is it this time?
Milton Leighton: ( His demeanor changes drastically and he smiles at Parkinson.) Minister, how are you this morning? It is just brilliant to see you gracing us with your presence.
Minister Parkinson: Okay okay Milton, get to the point. Why are we having a bit of a spat here?
Milton Leighton: Newt's niffler got lost again! Just look at my office.
Minister Parkinson: Awww come now Milton. He's just a cute little guy! Just charm your office clean, what's wrong with your wand, man!
Milton Leighton:(Milton seems defeated.) Yes sir. (He retreats back to his office and shuts the door.)
Minister Parkinson: Well I'm going to go make my rounds. Nice to see you survived your first encounter with Newt's mishaps, Ms. Y/L.
(Minister Parkinson nods to both of them and walks off down the hallway. Newt and you turn to each other and chuckle at all the crazy characters you had encountered. The camera follows you both into his office. He shows you to your desk and you begin to get comfortable. The camera zooms in on Newt, who for once isn't paying attention to the camera. Instead he is staring at you, with a small thoughtful smile peering on his face.)
-NEWT'S INTERVIEW-
Newt:(His head is tilted down slightly and he rubs his forehead with a single finger as a playful smile spreads across his face.) I think she's going to make a great addition to the office.
(The camera quickly flashes back to Newt starring at you as he quickly realizes how creepy he's being and automatically sits down as his own desk and begins working. The camera pans out to see Newt working and reading papers as you begin to unpack your box of belongings.)
-END OF NEWT'S INTERVIEW-
-End of First Episode-
Thank you so much for reading. I’m sorry if this seems rushed, but I wanted to get out the first episode and make sure I introduce all my characters so we can get to the story!! I look forward to hearing your responses for this episode and the series as a whole. Thanks everyone! xx
