*Achilles standing drunk on a bar stand trying to say something*
Patroclus: *Pulling his leg* STOP! You shouldn't!
Achilles: I JUST WANTED YOU ALL LOSERS TO KNOW I HAVE THE BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE ENTIRE FCKING UNIVERSE AND HE ALSO HAS PERFECT COLLAR BONES AND A BIG DIC-
*pat drags him down*
*Odysseus, Menelaus, Ajax sighs in the crowd*















