#drunk tag

new hot take: if you’re a sailor during fleet week and you make out sloppy style with a bitch on the dance floor, she should get to keep your hat

the thing abt deciding to have a slut summer and leaning into it is that i am learning i truly could have had this at any point. and it has been only my own fear that has been holding me back. never fall prey to anxiety girlies !! it (getting asked to dance and then getting twirled around 18 times at your first salsa mixer) could happen to you

i hope i am not just your beautiful chronically single friend but also your first choice for a third when you and you partner finally decide you’d like to experience a threesome

it’s not that i’m ungrateful for the student discounts i’m getting with my 8-year-old uni ID. it’s that i’m pushing 30 and yet every ticket attendant on the fucking continent is busting out the “and you’re a student, yes?” before i can even try to pass off my 8-year-old uni ID as current :(

Here’s to another year of being batshit crazy about a mid Ubisoft game :)

immovable object (the unbelievably high Subway employee) vs unstoppable force (the unbelievably drunk Sonali)

NEW YORK CITY I AM SO FUCKING PROUD OF US

bolsonaro found guilty of plotting a coup on 9/11 of all days omfg this is for allende. rot in jail bitch