#drunk dazed

𝙙𝙚𝙨𝙘: 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙪𝙥 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙮𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙤𝙛 3 𝙮𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙨, 𝙟𝙖𝙠𝙚, 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙚𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙧𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙗𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙛𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙙 𝙝𝙖𝙨 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙩𝙤 𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙮 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙣𝙤 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙨𝙩 𝙞𝙣 𝙪𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙡 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙪𝙣 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙞 𝙨𝙤𝙢𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙚...

𝙞𝙣𝙛𝙤: niki x reader , clubbing, kiss mention, drugs and alcohol

𝙬𝙘: 1.5k

The bass of the music vibrates through your soul as you're desperately trying to message Jake. You instantly click the new message that has now appeared on the top of your phone.

It’s not you, it's me… I'm sorry I really just don’t see this working.

Your face instantly switches as you feel like a dagger had just been struck through your chest. Your fingers instantly pick up speed, typing so fast your fingers could fall off any minute now as the keyboard starts to blur. To everybody else in this nightclub it was a normal night. But for you, this night was anything but that.

“Mina?”

The deafening music that echoes through the club has now turned into a blur as you feel a pool of tears welling up in your eyes.

“Mina! Are you there?” You quickly jolt and look up, rapidly trying to blink away your tears that are burning in your eyes. It’s only Hana. Hana, the type of loud extroverted best friend to never have any issues going on in her life, so perfect in every way, the life of the party.

“What, yeah sorry-” you manage to get out, your throat feels like it's on fire as you get up and storm out the cool air hitting you. Hana’s smile fades, but she doesn’t chase after you, with anymore alcohol in her system she’d be a zombie by the morning.

You’re woken up by the ear piercing sound of children screaming their heads off in the apartment next to yours. You groan and rub your sleep-dazed eyes as you reach out for your phone. 4:57pm. Why have you only just woken up now? Lazily, you open the curtains and gaze out the window. This view of Seoul is beautiful, the sun starting to set on all of the skyscrapers, the neon lights that illuminate the whole city, there's just something about your apartment that just makes it feel like home. And just when you thought it couldn’t get anymore peaceful, your peace instantly gets cut off as your phone starts to ring. Hana.

“Hana, listen im really n-”

“Mina hi! I noticed you were crying yesterday and I just wanted to check to see if anything was wrong.” she warmly says, a hint of concern in her voice.

Silence.

There's no point in lying, she's your best friend, of course she knows when you're not doing okay. Your throat tightens as you try to speak.

“I didn’t mean to walk out on you last night, Jake broke up with me and I’m just not in the mood for anything right now.” You try to get out without your voice breaking. Behind the phone, you hear Hana let out a gasp then a long sigh.

“3 years for nothing?! Girl, you cannot be alone right now. Get ready, be there in 15” She yells before abruptly hanging up the phone.

You throw on an off shoulder silk dress with the slit stopping right at the top of your thigh, hugging your curves. Tonight's makeup was dark and smokey with a dark rose lip. Checking the time, you reach for your phone, seeing if Jake had said anything else after just breaking up with you like that. It hurts, it really does, knowing the three years you spent with him just meant nothing to him. 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵， 𝘐 𝘤𝘢𝘯’𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘭𝘪𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪－ KNOCK! KNOCK! You let out a long sigh. You’re exhausted and the night hasn't even started yet, great.

“It’s open!” You call out, forcing your voice to have a bounce to it.

Hana stumbles in to see you lying on your bed. She’s wearing a pink miniskirt that snatches her perfectly, her lipgloss a soft pink that glistens in the light. Her eyes scan you from head to toe then drops her mouth wide open.

“Mina!” She squeals. “You look so sexy!” She eagerly grabs your hand. “Anyway, tonight you’re going to forget all about Jake okay? My friends are having a party tonight and you are coming.”

You sigh.

This night needs to be done and it hasn’t even started yet.

As soon as you step into the party, an uneasy feeling lingers in the air as you force a smile and follow Hana. Your eyes scan the room to see if there's a place to sit, then awkwardly you scurry to the available chair. This was so awkward. You knew no one here, except Hana, who was now happy and intoxicated on the dance floor. Just when you’re about to get up, you feel a warm hand on your shoulder. Your head turns to see a beautiful, tall, elegant looking girl with a glass of fizzy champagne in her hand.

“Hi I’m Sakura! What brings you here?” She beams, reaching out to shake your hand.

“Mina.” you sigh. “Hana forced me to be here but I’d rather be at home.”

The way Sakura looks directly into your eyes with a soft smile made you feel like what you were saying was important, even if it wasn’t.

“I know Hana! Always the life of the party, hm?” Sakura pauses before softening her eyes. “You look really stressed, let me get you a drink” She offers, before taking your hand and leading you to the bar. As you desperately scan the never ending room for Hana, a familiar face appears. Jake. Jake with his hands on a girls hips swaying to the loud music that vibrated through your skull. You try to ignore it while following Sakura to the bar.

“5 shots of vodka, please.” You blurt out as you hop on a short, worn out stool next to the bar. Sakura’s mouth drops before quickly shutting it and nodding. The first shot that reaches your hand, you gulp down, sharply tilting your head back and slamming the shot glass on the counter.

“Easy, easy, you need to be able to get home,” Sakura whispers while rubbing your back. All you really want to do at the moment is go home and cry about Jake. But you know better than that, you weren’t going to let him have it that easy.

You down the fifth shot, feeling it burn down your throat and into your stomach, your eyes tearing up more and more with every swallow. As you slam the shot glass on the counter, you glance up to see Jake with his tongue down her throat. How badly you wanted to go up to him. Your head instantly turns to Sakura, who's lost in conversation with the bartender, watching her giggle and hysterically laugh. The loud music turns into a screech, your chest starts to tighten and your eyes start stinging with tears as you get off the stool, completely abandoning Sakura, you stumble to the bathroom and slam the door. The best thing that could happen to you right now would be if these walls would swallow you whole.

The sound of the Weeknd blasting from outside the bathroom isn’t making it any easier. Jake 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘥 the Weeknd. Every breath you take is like a gasp for air, the walls keep on getting smaller and smaller until you collapse on the floor. You were drunk, alone and heartbroken. 𝘎𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘵. The alcohol keeps kicking in more and more and more until you can’t even get up off the floor. Your mind is like a broken record, playing the same thoughts and memories again and again. The world was now a blur, everything was spinning around as you desperately tried to grab something.

The music suddenly wasn’t a blur any more and got even louder.

“Hey, hey what's going on?” A muffled voice spoke.

You slowly open your eyes to a blur standing above you. You blink again and oh my gosh. Gazing up, you see a tall, handsome man with jet-black hair, one strand that hangs down in front of his forehead. His features were beautiful, plump lips, dark, thick eyebrows and chrome heart rings scattered all over his fingers.

“Hm..?” You managed to groan out before he reached his hand to help you off the bathroom floor.

“I’m so… sorry I was just…who are you…” You mumbled, rubbing your glassy eyes, smudging your eye makeup as the man stared, pushing his strand of hair to the side of his face.

“I’m Ni-ki, you can call me Riki” He mumbles before reaching out to help you up.

“Mina” You giggle while trying to quickly fix your hair from rolling around on the floor like a lunatic. “I’m sorry you found me like this I wasn’t trying to-”

“It's okay, just be more careful next time,” Riki cuts you off before pushing a strand of hair away from your eyes. Your eyes flickered up at his, it was like something in you melted as soon as he touched you.

Today feels like standing under lights that are almost too bright to look at beautiful and overwhelming at the same time, like a carnival at its peak, spinning and laughing and shouting your name, while somewhere in the middle of it all, there’s a quiet heartbeat trying to keep its rhythm. Yours.

You’ve grown up inside a world that never stops moving. Stages rise, music blares, time flips itself upside down until days blur into rehearsals and nights blur into dreams. Sometimes it looks dazzling from the outside, like diamonds catching light, like a celebration that never ends. But I know that inside, it can feel dizzy. Drunk on expectations. Dazed by love that comes in waves so big it’s hard to breathe through them.

And still, you stay.

You stay even when the lights are blinding.

You stay even when the noise gets loud enough to drown out your own thoughts.

You stay, not because it’s easy, but because your heart keeps choosing to burn; to move forward, to dance even when you can’t fully control the steps.

There’s something hauntingly beautiful about the way you exist in this world. You stand at the edge of fear and wonder, hand trembling, and step forward anyway. Like crossing a boundary line you never asked for, into a place where everything changes and nothing is specific; except that you’ll give it your all, even when the mirror feels unfamiliar, even when the truth behind the mask feels fragile, even when the sweetness of the moment is tangled with thirst and ache.

That’s the Jungwon we see.

Not just the leader.

Not just the idol.

But the boy who feels deeply, who gets scared, who still chooses to stay inside the dream rather than run from it.

If life is a carnival, then you are not trapped inside it, you are learning how to own it, learning how to turn dizziness into movement, fear into music, and confusion into something honest and alive. Every year, your heart knows a new rhythm. Every year, you wake yourself up again, set your own heart on fire, and fill your dreams with something braver than before.

On your birthday, I hope the world softens for you, even just a little. I hope the lights are dim enough for you to rest your eyes. I hope the noise fades so you can hear how loved you are, not as echoes from the crowd, but as something steady and real. I hope you remember that it’s okay to feel dazed sometimes. It doesn’t mean you’re lost, it means you’re alive, feeling everything at full volume.

Thank you for choosing to stay.

Thank you for dancing through the chaos.

Thank you for turning fear into something beautiful.

May this year hold fewer lonely moments and more quiet ones. May your heart race only when it wants to. And may you never forget that even in the wild, spinning glow of the carnival, you are never alone.

Happy Birthday, Jungwon.

Keep shining. Keep burning. Keep dreaming.

Let’s talk about Enhypen’s Drunk-Dazed..actually, let me reframe that: let ME talk about Drunk-Dazed. It’s been a minute since it came out, but I’ve noticed I’m not the only one who wants to tattoo the last 17 seconds of this song on my forehead. Better yet, if it were possible to hear tattoos, someone needs to invent it so i can play this every time someone asks me about it. The whole song is honestly a feeling that’s hard to put into words or imagery..some things you can only feel,but if I were to put my hallucinations into words, i imagine this playing at a house party I’d never want to leave. You don’t even need drinks or anything else to feel like you’re having an out of body experience when this is playing. You don’t need to understand what is it even about until you dive in so deep you can no longer escape. It’s just that type of song to wake you from the deepest of sleep and it physically hurts me to listen to it on low volume. It doesn’t make sense on all the feelings i get at once when i play it just how my words can’t make sense when i write them. I can probably write a whole essay on the chemicals changing in my brain while i experience it for the millionth time..In the end, nothing can really explain it, but in an ideal world,I’m never leaving the house party in my head. Fangirl toughs are the weirdest thing sometimes…………always..🎈✨🪩

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧ 🪩 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

More manic thoughts about songs soon bc this is my diary now.

Presenting to you my first Arcane fan music video! And it's centered on Jinx bc she's just such an amazing character