#droom groot

A few pixels from Copenhagen (all pics by me)

Joost Klein x F!reader

Part 1 guys. read the bottom for more.

WARNING: 18+, Angst, angst, angst, terrible boyfriend joost, insecure reader, eating disorder, abuse (mental), SH, throwing up, starvation, Joost is actually a piece of trash, manipulation, hurt, idk if this is dddne.

!RPF FICTION!

an: so. Uh. Idk I am batshit insane and I wrote this raccoon meal story bcuz I’m not okay☺️Sorry for the grammer errors im new to writing.

word count: 1.3k

enjoy.

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You were fuming. Your boyfriend, Joost (The Joost Klein), had just finished his music video, in which he got a little too close to a girl and you couldn't help but be jealous and angry with him. You were standing in the living room of your shared one bedroom and one bathroom apartment, He was standing opposite of you.

“Come on, it was just for the music video, we didn't even kiss!” He argued. “I don't care! Why was she in the video and not me!?” You screamed back, tears pooling at your waterline. 

He sighs, he doesn't want to go into this kind of discussion again. “Because I'm a singer and need pretty girls in my videos, baby.” He says all too calmly and takes a step closer. You look at him in disbelief. “How could you say that..?” You say, your voice trembling uncontrollably, as he sputters such harsh words. He tries to take your hand, but you brush him off. He sighs once more. “Im just saying that's why those girls are in my videos. You have to understand, baby.” He utters such words like its pure common sense. “Am I not pretty enough to be in your music videos?” You utter. It comes out like a soft, heartbroken whisper. “No, I mean yes, but..she's more conventionally pretty. You know what I mean.” Your world is slowly crumbling, rotting away as your boyfriend of 4 years speaks so little about you.

He sighs, rolling his eyes. “You are so jealous. It isn't that I prefer them over you, it's more that you're just not a model type of girl, like them.” You swallow back tears. “Right.” You say shallow. He rubs his temples. “Youre too sensitive for this conversation, baby.” 

He shakes his head. “I'm gonna go smoke a cigarette, I don't wanna fight anymore.” He says and goes out onto the balcony. You stand there in the living room. Anger, sorrow, loss and pure disbelief etched across your face. A week later, his music video “Albino” (Act like the music video comes out in 2017 not 2019) and you're sitting on the couch, drinking some water and eating a salad, watching the music video. You watch the scenes of him and a girl. Not you. But some other skank. You feel anger bubbling in you. You cant handle the fucking pain of it all. Why did Joost have to be so..Ugh. Whatever. You finish your food and walk over to the sink, putting your dishes in the sink. Joost comes in and sits down on the couch, slowly turning on the tv. He sees you and his eyes drift to your bloated stomach. “Youve gained a few pounds, haven't you?” He said. You freeze. Pause. Stop. What? What the fuck?

“I mean, you look a bit..outward..?” He says, trying and not trying to soften the blow.

“I just ate..thats why.” You say, tears are already threatening to build. He looks at your midsection. “Are you sure that's it?” He says skeptically. “Of course i-im sure..how..you..” 

“Have you been eating too much junk lately?” Stop. Make him stop.

“Joost, please stop.” You say timidly.

He rolls his eyes. “You know I like you thin.” His tone is cold and authoritative.

"I-I know, baby. I'm sorry.” You say. How could you be mad at a man that makes you so happy, good sex and he's rich…ish.

“Just..try to not eat like a fuckin pig, mkay?”

“Yes, Joost..”

“Good girl.”

Manipulation.

You take his comments to heart. You starve yourself, not eating much beside some veggies and water per day. You feel weak. You are skinny. Your friends are worried. How did you end up like this?

Simple. You met Joost in highschool, he was sweet, charismatic, cool and funny! You and him were good friends since your friends were also dating/friends. You two started dating. It was a dream at first. He took you on nice dates, gave you flowers and so, so much more.

Then his music stuff grew. He made music videos and stuff. Those music videos needed girls. Girls. Not you. You silly little idiot. Hot girls (according to him). That's how you ended up here. 

Anyways. Joost didn't notice your change in appearance, your friends sure did. You pushed them far enough away, that you ended up losing them, just to fit Joost's image of being “thin and beautiful”. You were working out your stomach too.

“You look beautiful, baby. Have you been working out?” Joost asks as you drink some water.

“I sure have, Baby!” You say, happy he finally noticed.

“Youre looking seriously good.” He says impressed, running his hands up and down your sides.

“Here, a cookie for your amazing job.” He offers you a cookie. Oh, your favorite. but you refuse. It might increase your weight.

“You don't want a cookie?”

“No thanks, I'm not hungry.”

“Cmon, it's only one. Eat it.”

“No, Joost, i re-” He shoves it into your mouth.

“I won't take no for an answer, baby. Now chew. Eat.”

You eat and swallow it. 

“I have to pee, baby, I'll be right back.” You say, rushing to the bathroom.

You come back with joost leaning against the kitchen counter. You wipe the last of the puke off your cheek and chew on the extra strong gum.

“Welcome back! Look, baby, look at these comments under the new music video!”

“Wow, Joost..”

“Yeah, they're loving it. Especially the woman in the video.”

"Ha..cool..!"

“Theyre saying the women are pretty. I agree, they're really gorgeous.” He says happily. Your heart is breaking shard by shard off because of Joost.

It's been two hours. It's now about 9pm and you and Joost are in bed, his arm hanging lazily on your back as we both are laying in bed on our stomachs, looking at our phones.

He suddenly sits up with a smug grin on his face. “Baby, look, the comments are saying now drop dead gorgeous these girls are! I'm so lucky to have been able to film with her.”

…

…

…

“Joost?”

“Yeah?”

“I wanna break up.”

…

..

.

“What? Are you fucking serious!?”

He yells, his voice turning furious.

You nod.

“Why!? Huh?, WHY!?”

He screams

You take a deep breath, standing up from the bed. 

“Why? I eat cucumbers for breakfast, lunch and dinner, just to keep up with your crazy standard! I listen to you speak about how great and beautiful other girls are! I'm tired of that bullshit, Joost. I can't sit here and pretend that everything is fine, when it's not. You treat me so badly.”

You spill, pouring your heart out to him. Tears overflowing and pouring out.

Joost scoffs, clearly irritated by your accusations.

"What do you mean I don't love you? I'm just complimenting those girls, it doesn't mean I don't love you," he retorts, his voice filled with defensiveness.

He sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"And those 'crazy standards' you talk about? I just want you to be healthy and fit."

“I can’t lift a chair because of how unhealthy I am!! I can’t move sometimes because I’m trying to be thinner for you! I’m throwing up almost every meal for you! FOR YOU, JOOST! And you still sit there a-and talk about other girls”

Joost's demeanor changes, a hint of guilt and remorse creeping into his expression as he listens to your impassioned speech about the sacrifices you've made for him. He looks at you with a mixture of frustration and confusion.

“I-I..”

“IhateyouihateyouihateyouIHATEYOU!” You yell. Packing your fucking bags and getting out of there, all whilst joost just tries to convince you to stay. You slam the door and go out onto the rainy streets of Amsterdam. You realize you have nobody to go to. Your dad died in a car accident when you were 13, your mother is in prison for child abuse and you pushed all your friend away for joost. For fucking Joost. You walk a few blocks, feeling utterly empty inside. You end up at a bench and sob. You sob your heart out. You're in the middle of Amsterdam. 

What are you supposed to do?

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joost klein sf😽 (っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ unity ♥