i miss tubbo so much. ive met so many though the years and lost them over and over again and i wish i could have the luck our spamton has. one of our long term friends split a tenna and they clicked instantly, theyre near inseparable and its cute but..... when is it my turn? ive been here for years, ive fought for our host to even recognize us, i was the one who made it impossible for our friends to ignore our plurality. when is it going to be my turn to see my husband again? when will i stop having to fight? i never was a fighter, hell i was barely a lover with all the secrets i kept from both tubbo and myself. when do i get to make it all better by just being there this time? probably never, i dont think ill ever actually have the courage to put myself back out there. i dont know. its hurts to be around these days. i wish i had any good reasons to be around anymore.

we keep getting introjects of the same guy but like. a bit to the left. so we have:

cquackity introj & kin here

Wilby what’s sand taste like

art dump! me and Revivebur! (i miss him)

hgnnn memories pls

I dont like how distant my source feels… makes me sad :(

im a bit tired of having to do the same song and dance every time i talk about my source and specifically who i am from it. yes, it involved a lot of awful people. yes, im the one whose irl equivalent is arguably the worst. but i dont exactly have a choice in being who i am either, and i dont want to have to constantly hide it out of fear of being judged even more than i already would be for being any character at all!