#drarry dads

10 years after the battle of hogwarts, Auror Harry James Potter comes home to the child at his doorstep (Jaime)

Jaime was raised by a paranoid DLM

He did not have access to the Malfoy accounts and is hunted by death eaters and regular wixen alike.

Jaime is a menace to society. He can pick locks the muggle way (as well highly illegal wixen ways). He has combat training because Draco's wand is suseptible to expelliarmus (thanks, Potter).

Harry tries to bond with him but all Jaime wants to do is break into his office and look at crime portfolios, he has also broken into the holding cells and interrogated a suspect, though Harry cannot prove it but Harry knows. Just like he knew when Draco was up to something, only now he can't prove it. Curse his genes for getting away with things.

Harry is sent into a remote location when Hermione pings him that Jaime is missing from her home, and no, she doesn't know how they did it.

Harry is ready to return home when Jaime pops up out of nowhere with "Don't bother, I stole your broom and cloak, do better wards dad"

Then he starts drawing with chalk ...

"Jaime, right now is not the time for your doodles, and you are soooo grounded. Then whoosh, an anti apparation ward is placed on the compound"

Okay, but hold that thought, and he runs and leaps onto the roof.

Somehow, they knock everyone out

Jaime seems to be fine, so Harry thinks he can call back up only to return to Jaime punching a man yelling, " Where is my father?" Kick to the groin* pathetic then on to the next guy

Sigh they are able to find Draco Malfoy and Harry is equal parts raging mad that he had a child and stunned at how affectionate the duo are.

Only when they are supposed to return and auror are like aren't we arresting Draco Malfoy and Harry is like "No."

Aurors : no?

Harry: No!

Aurors: ahhh no we didn't see the wanted criminal snuggling the child that is apparently yours. Cheers

Draco whispers to Jaime then faces Harry "Take care of our offspring Potter, I'll return for him" then he disapparates

Harry is, of course, ready to wring his neck while Jaime is just like, " So glad you're mad at Father instead of me "

"Oh no you are still grounded until forever "

Right so wanna race home?

We are a half days ride from home, Jaime.

" What I'm hearing is your scared to lose, understandable, father always said you weren't up to the hype "

Gritting his teeth because, seriously, this is a child, Harry is a grown man

They race home and Harry wins but only barely

Jaime wasn't actually racing he just wanted to have fun with his dad of course he couldn't just ask like a normal person, he is half Malfoy.

Anyways Draco is on a mission to rescue his mother. The person holding her hostage is Lucius as a horcrux for the Dark Lord.

Her first year of hogwarts, she blew up the third floor corridor. Apparently she wanted to see if anything was left behind from her father's adventure, there was. The chess pieces from McGonagall's challenge were still around.

Everything would have been swell if she hadn't insulted one of the knights. She is not even a little sorry, that knight did look a bit dingy and in need of a cleaning.

Headmaster McGonagall: What do you have say for yourself:

Lyra: shrugs* it was an accident. How was I to know that the next chamber had toxic troll odors that would not react well to a bombarda?

Headmaster McGonagall: Heed the various protective enchantments that prevented you from entering the first chamber might have been a warning to not enter all.

Cassie: and then he said I could make him a sandwich

Draco: *gasp*

Ruby: No

Emmy: So you cursed his bloodline, well done sissy.

Cassie: Exactly, but first I transfigured him into a sandwich.

Draco: Did you make it white or wheat?

Cassie: Ew, Father. Italian

Ruby: I could go for a sandwich, actually. Should we -

Portrait of Sirius: Yes

Liliana Narcissa: I'm the one who stole the cloak, broke into the father's study, and drank all the firwhiskey, and framed your namesake.

Portrait of Sirius: Why would you tell me this

Liliana Narcissa: because no one will ever believe you

Portrait of Sirius: You sick---

Harry: Sirius, why are you bullying Lily?

Draco: Really, Sirius is it not about time you grow up?

James Sirius: What does that mean? What does fold in the cheese mean?

Draco : You fold it in.

James Sirius: I understand that, but how do you fold it in? Do you fold it in half like a piece paper and drop it in the pot? Or, what do you do?

Draco: James, I can not show you everything.

James Sirius : Okay, well can you show one thing!

Draco: You just.. Here's what you do. You just fold it in.

James Sirius: Okay, I don't know how to fold broken cheese like that.

Draco: Then I don't know how to be any clearer. You take that thing that's in your hand

James Sirius : uh huh

Draco: And you

James Sirus: If you say fold in one more time

Draco: IT SAYS FOLD IT IN.