Sameer knew even in his inebriated state that this was a bad idea, it was one of his worst. However, his fingers acted of their own accord as he scrolled through his contacts before he found the one he was looking for. He had to blink twice to clear the intoxication from his vision.

Li Li. As in Aaliya Khan. As in the girl who’d managed to ruin his life but also left him craving for something he’d never thought he’d be able to feel again. Not after Nikita, but after seeing her kiss Abhay at the corner store, he felt his heart shatter all over again. Hence, the drinking - he preferred his misery without company.

The dial tone went once, then twice before the familiar crackling of the phone being answered greeted Sameer. “Li Li,” he drawled. “tumhe toh accha lag raha hai na? Kiss Sameer, let him believe that he might have a chance and then crush his fucking heart by hooking up with his best friend?” His tone rose in incredulity. 

Scoff. “Whatever man, Sameer ka toh kaam hai. To become fucking Devdas. Maybe I should change my middle name from Ayush to Devdas. Sameer Devdas Raichand. Has a nice ring to it na?” Hitch. That was when he lost it, both physically and emotionally. The tears streamed down his cheeks as he sunk to his knees, the skin scraping against the gravel as he all but collapsed in the middle of the deserted street. 

"Fuck you," he mumbled half coherently, cutting the call. He didn’t pause to hear Aaliya’s tears on the other end, her pathetic reassurances and he most certainly didn’t hear her confession. The one telling him that she loved him.

"Abhay?" Sameer whispered in horror as he stared at his best friend, and then down at his hands. His hands were covered in blood, his knuckles bruised and bleeding. He opened his mouth to speak but found that his throat had gone dry, effectively robbing him of all his words as he stared in terror before averting his gaze to his shoes.

He struggled to recall what had happened the night previous, but his memory failed him after his sixth round of shots. He wondered if he’d beaten up his best friend and that shook him out of his self pitying stupor as he sunk to his knees, pulling Abhay’s head into his lap as he gently shook him. “Abhi. Abhi,” he repeated like a broken record, the tears starting when his best friend’s eyes wouldn’t open. 

Sameer squeaked in pain and pressed a kiss to Abhay’s forehead. “Abhi,” he urged one last time, just wanting to see his friend’s eyes and he nearly passed out with the relief when he did. “Oh Christ, I thought i’d lost you,” he sobbed, fingers precariously clutching Abhay’s shirt.

"You got out?" Abhay whispered in awe.

Sameer merely stared at him with a quizzical expression. “Got out from where?” He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion before his head started pounding again and he reluctantly let go of Abhay to burrow his head in his hands.

"You picked a fight Sam. You picked a fight with a gang because they were eve teasing. You complete idiot,” Abhay chastised but the hint of pride that denoted his tone didn’t go unnoticed by Sameer. “They were beating the shit out of you.” He reached out to touch Sam’s cheek and instantly removed his hand when the latter flinched.

"I did… what?” 

Sameer raised an eyebrow at his girlfriend in her pink cardigan and puffed up hair - courtesy of hairspray - and her simple white babydoll frock and then took a look around himself. His own slicked back hair and leather jacket as he leaned against his bike, taking a drag from his fag. He wasn’t expecting her to come with him, after all he was sure that she was only dating him because of the thrill.

The thrill of dating a bad boy, someone her parents had warned her against, and her parents were the regular Bible thumpers. He despised them. In fact he despised all authority. He got on his bike, winking at Nikita as he revved up the engine and was ready to leave. Macy’s was holding a party and since he was the Sameer Raichand, his gang wouldn’t even need to show a fake ID, they’d be let right in.

It was only when his best friend Abhay honked at him that he turned, pulling down his shades. Abhay jerked a thumb towards Nikita with a questioning gaze. “Ain’t babydoll comin’ with boss?” 

He turned back to look at his girlfriend with a lazy look before yawning as he flicked his stub onto the gravel, stomping on it with his boot. “Nah,” he drawled. “Baby girl gotta go back and be a good preacher girl for daddy?” Sameer’s tone was taunting and he waited to get a rise out of his girlfriend who seemed like she was ready to chew his head off.

So it wasn’t a surprise when she pulled off her cardigan, wrapping it around her petite waist as she got behind Sameer, clutching his torso. Her fingers trailed up to touch his cheek as she pressed a kiss to his earlobe. “What my daddy doesn’t know won’t hurt him,” Nikita whispered, leaning back with a smirk when he shivered. 

Sameer got out of bed, reluctantly detangling himself from Abhay’s arms, and trying to not frown at the loss of warmth. He scrabbled around for a shirt before pulling it on, a small smile tainting his features at how long it was on him. The whistle from behind him made him turn.

"How is it you look better in my clothes than I do?" Abhay asked with a sleepy smile. The amount of mornings where he was actually glad to wake up were non existent but maybe today was a beginning. If he could wake up everyday to the sight of Sameer in his room, Abhay wouldn’t mind waking up in the mornings.

Merely rolling his eyes in response, he bent down to find his jeans. “You already charmed me into bed idiot. Ab toh maska lagana chod do.” He couldn’t however help the small blush that spread across his cheeks at Abhay’s words and he turned to him exasperatedly before falling back into the bed. “You do this on purpose I swear,” he mumbled quietly.

Abhay let out a short laugh, pulling Sameer into him as he trailed his lips along the latter’s jaw, grinning when he moaned. His fingers curled around the hem of the white shirt and slowly tugged it off. “I take my words back,” he whispered, pressing his hand to Sameer’s chest as he kissed down his neck. “You look better without any clothes on.”

Sameer pulled Abhay down to mesh their lips together, their moans filling the spaces between them when he heard the knock on the door. He pulled away immediately, causing Abhay to frown and pull him back. “Abhi,” he hissed. “Not right now. Ma’s in the next room.”

That made Abhay scramble back, all the love swirling into confusion. “So?” he asked softly, wondering what was going through Sameer’s head. His brain had made the link already, that Sameer was ashamed. Ashamed of their relationship. Ashamed of what they had done. Ashamed of him.

"So?" He repeated incredulously. "So, this is illegal Abhi. So, when my mother finds out. My father will kill me. Then your parents will find out. Your father will disown you. I’m thinking for us," Sameer’s voice cracked near the end as he clutched at Abhay, already feeling like he had lost him. 

"And all that matters to you more than this? More than us?" Abhay’s voice rose as he rose from the bed, grabbing his jeans as he shoved his legs into them.  "And everything you’d ever said? Were all those lies?" He wouldn’t break down. Not here. Not now.

Sameer stood up instantaneously, pulling on Abhay’s shirt as he moved closer to him. “Abhi, no.” He bit down on his lip, chewing on it as he drew blood. The pain distracted him from the fact that maybe they were about to lose what they had. And he couldn’t bear with that. Not when Abhay had finally started to heal the wounds that Nikita had left on his heart. “Abhi, please. I’m not ready — I’m not ready to share you yet,” he muttered softly, his breath hitching in places as he scrubbed at his eyes.

Number One: He shows no interest.Nikita laid limply on the couch switching the channels, hoping to find a programme that would catch her attention. She pursed her lips together, her eyes slightly squinting as she stared with concentration at the TV. She let out a breath before finally switching the television off and leaning backwards with her eyes closed. A soft sigh escaped from her lips when she heard the door open and close. Her mood quickly lifted up when she saw her boyfriend, Sameer, walk into her sight."Sam!" she chimed, wrapping her arms around him. Sameer didn’t say anything in return, he just hummed before removing Nikita’s arms from his shoulders and leaving the room.

Nikita frowned slightly at Sameer’s rejection, but let it slide…she understood how difficult it had to be for Sameer to support both of them with just a single job. She shrugged her shoulders sadly, before going into the kitchen and making some dinner for the both of them.

Number Two: He won’t reply to messages as quickly as before.

Nikita sent a text message to Sameer asking if he would be arriving anytime soon-  it was their two year anniversary after all. She had planned a special dinner at one of the most expensive restaurants in town, it was too expensive for her but she was sure it’d be all worth it considering it was for Sameer.

When Sameer did not reply immediately, Nikita shrugged it off…she simply thought Sameer was probably getting her a surprise of some sort. Shee waited and waited, but Sameer didn’t come at all.

When the waiter came to get her order, Nikita simply ordered a drink much to the staff’s displeasure. When Nikita left the restaurant, her phone vibrated, I am not coming, read the text message from Sameer.

Nikita’s grip on the phone tightened as she felt the tears start to run down his cheeks. She quickly wiped them with the back of her hand. She comforted herself with the thought that maybe just maybe Sameer was too busy preparing her a surprise for when she got back home…but he didn’t.

Number Three: He won’t try to keep a conversation going anymore.

"Sam, shall we go on a date?" Nikita suggested brightly as she laid her head on Sameer’s lap.

Sameer simply hummed, his glistering brown eyes still focused on the television.

Nikita pouted slightly, turning her attention to the TV…she frowned with distaste at the programme that was playing. ”Sameer, how can you like that show…it’s so….boring.” Nikita whined, only receiving another hum in return.She bit her lip holding a frown before quickly getting up from the couch and making her way to the bathroom.

She closed the door of the bathroom and slid down on the door letting the tears begin to flow.

Number Four: He will not care anymore

"White or black, samosa?" Nikita asked as she held out to two dresses in front of Sameer.

She only got a shrug in response…Sameer stared blankly at the dresses, and then looked down at his phone.

Nikita bit her lip blinking, at the end she got the black one since she knew how Sameer had always fancied the color black. After paying for the clothes, Nikita looked around the store…Sameer was nowhere to be found. She pouted in annoyance dragging her feet outside the store. She had just finally made Sameer go shopping with her - all she wanted was to spend time with him- and he disappeared like that?

Their relationship was on the rocks- Nikita knew it…she felt it. And there were times where she felt that maybe just maybe what was wrong was the lack of amount of time they spent together…but whenever she tried to make it better Sameer always avoided her or was cold, it didn’t make sense and it really wasn’t fair, either.

Nikita continued to scan the mall in search of Sameer but he was nowhere to be found- just then she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She lazily got it out of her pocket, it was a text message from Sameer, I’m going home. The truth hit her like a ton a bricks.

Sameer didn’t care anymore.

Number Five: He will no longer care if he cares.

When Sameer was admitted to the hospital one day, Nikita rushed down without wasting a second. She took care of him with kindness, despite Sameer’s coldness.

She stayed there every day, ensuring that she would only sleep ‘after Sameer fell asleep and wake up before Sameer did, just so she could serve and help him once again. But sleep took its toll as Nikita found herself waking up later than usual.

When she woke up Sameer wasn’t there, she entered into panic and frantically started to look around for him. She even asked nurses to help her look for her boyfriend. She did find Sameer after a while, he was outside having a little breather with no other than Tanya.

Nikita marched up to Sameer and wrapped her arms around the other in a tight embrace, crying about how worried she was. Sameer on the other hand showed no interest or emotion what so ever, he simply pushed Nikita  aside and pulled Tanya with him whispering a small “Come on, Tanya.”

Nikita bit her lip until she felt it start bleeding.Number Six: He will give up on trying to make him love him.

Nikita finally broke things off with Sameer. Nikita initiated the break up and as expected Sameer didn’t even try to beg for forgiveness or even ask for her to stay.

"Okay." is all Sameer said, before he turned his attention back to his book. Lately Sameer had been reading a particular book, and had re-read its contents over and over again.

Nikita packed her stuff with sadness, and turned her head back to look at the cold individual, who showed no signs of regret or wanting or aching. Nikita sighed as she stepped out of the flat she used to call home.She placed her luggage in the trunk of Abhay’s car, and entered the passenger’s seat.

Abhay gave her a look that clearly read ‘are you alright?’, Nikita simply smiled sadly before giving Abhay a kiss on the cheek. She had to move on. Sameer did not love her anymore, and she had to accept it, and if leaving him was the only way then so be it.

————

Sameer closed his book, as he stared at the ceiling. Nikita was finally gone. Nikita had moved on. Sameer chuckled slightly, knowing that it was for the best as he walked into his room- the room he used to share with Nikita.He took out a photo album full of memories of him and Nikita only. Each moment they shared fooling around together, having fun and loving each other.

He missed those days, but he also knew they would not come back again.He coughed slightly, before it became a little harder and more painful for him. His chest ached and it was getting a little harder to breath. Sameer coughed into his hand repeatedly.When Sameer removed his hand from his mouth he found it stained with blood. He winced before wiping it on his pants.

Months ago when Sameer found out he had been coughing up blood; he panicked which was the complete rational thing to do Of course, since he had no idea what to do. Not wanting Nikita to worry about him, he went to see the doctor himself. That was when he realized that he would be leaving Nikita earlier than he expected.