I hope you realize that in order to prevent your own panic attacks you're triggering them in other people, people who are still afraid of covid because it's still fucking killing people. But, sure, be selfish.
I mean it’s not really about being selfish? You’re saying that I should endure panic attacks to prevent them in others, and while that would be valiant and selfless, it doesn’t make me selfish because I elect to not do so. I don’t have to subject myself to mental and physical anguish. I don’t have to destroy myself for others.
When I say panic attack, this is what I experience (I hope you were just underestimating the experience, but even so, you’re making light of what a panic attack is. That’s somewhat ironic considering you’re saying I should wear a mask in order to prevent others from having a panic attack.)
can literally barely stand and walk
Until a couple of months ago, I always wore a mask, because I felt awful about putting others at risk. My close friend intervened when she saw me have a panic attack after putting it on, wherein I literally couldn’t see and couldn’t walk without support. She always wears a mask. Always. Yet she assured me that it was okay to not wear one, to not put myself in that situation. So I took her word for it. I honestly don’t know if I’ve developed some sort of negative relationship with the mask that has caused wearing one to exasperate my anxiety, or if it’s just general sensory issues. Having made the decision not to wear a mask for my sake, I still uphold other things in order to prevent myself spreading the virus: only going out when necessary, regular testing for covid, vaccines and booster shots, etc.
While there are those who choose to wear a mask because it’s inconvenient for them or they don’t like it, I don’t believe that not wearing it due to sensory issues/mental health issues is an equivalent.
That being said: if you are able, wear a mask. Do what you can to prevent the spread of covid, because it still exists. Ensure others do their part. I appreciate you caring enough to not allow people to skip out on doing their part, but as someone with a host of mental illnesses and disorders, wearing a mask just simply isn’t on the table for me at the moment, at least not in certain environments.