#dorksmithery

This is me. Waking you up at 2pm. For fun.

Gib kandy or face the wrath of 100 boops

The Garden consults each other briefly. South's voice is audible, something about a snapback and revenge. While they're all distracted, Mask approaches, making much the same face.

Firstly, he bats at the outstretched paw, and then from his cloak, pulls a treat.

Just remember one thing: YOU ASKED FOR THIS.

29. one headcanon about this OTP that breaks your heart

“They’re coming,” he said, and he said it quietly, said it like he knew the world was listening, because it was. Minos knelt beside him, hair pulled into a tight almost-braid with rose-stems he conjured up for him, dirt smudged against his nose and fear in his eyes. Albafica reached forward, wiping the dirt off with his thumb. Minos shifted forward, leaning into his touch, closing his eyes for the slightest bit of comfort at the contact.

Hells, he had never once thought that it might end like this, but now that he actually thought about how it could have ended, it was obvious, and he felt so stupid. What kind of Saint even did this? What kind would willingly walk into the arms of a black angel, whose only aspiration in the story was to tempt him away from his path?

Why the hell did he allow it to work? And so well? 

“We can still get out,” Minos said, quietly, timidly, like he was sure Albafica would shoot down the thought. “We can still get away. Up into the clouds and disappear to my father’s kingdom.”

“I can’t fly.”

“I can. I know I can fly faster than he can, and yes, even carrying you I know I can.” Minos looked up at him, hesitant, pale violet eyes brimming with terror and a thin ribbon of defiance. This was his Minos, of course, and he knew better: when would he ever want to go down any way but swinging? Minos was brave, braver than he was, and he hated himself a little for being the weaker one, the more reserved of the two.

He did the only thing he could think to do, to keep himself together, to keep himself from falling apart at the seams. He leaned forward, and pressed his lips to Minos’, open and wet and needing the contact. Minos leaned right back into him, tilting his head, his own lips parted but never pushing too far. It was Albafica who pulled him close, fingertips tracing his spine, feeling Minos’ skin set itself aflame at the contact. The slight gasp when Albafica’s tongue slipped into his mouth, when Minos’ answered him.

They clung to each other, just for the moment, a moment they both knew might be their last. Albafica kissed him like he was drowning, and he was; Minos kissed him back like he knew he had already drowned them both. He was too absorbed in the kiss, his hands finding the nape of Albafica’s neck and clinging to it, almost suckling on his tongue, and he would’ve disliked it if it weren’t right now. 

He felt the slight tremble of the ground before he could hear them, but it was enough to break the illusion. Enough to know their time was ending. Albafica broke the kiss, opening his eyes to see Minos’ wide, a thin trail of saliva still connecting them, Minos’ cheeks red and warm and still, somehow, handsome. 

He didn’t think he’d ever be able to forgive himself, but he didn’t have to. His hand drifted from the base of his spine to the ground, reaching for one last piece of broken stained glass, ignoring the way it sliced through the softer parts of his hand. He slipped his free hand around Minos’ neck, as if to kiss him again. Minos leaned forward, his wings still resting on the ground like he had not a thought of flight.

Albafica grabbed the braid, tangled with roses, tilted him slightly back, and sliced his hair short, two feet of silver locks released from him. Minos turned to stare at his hands, eyes somehow wider, horror drawing over him like dawn over an unending night.

“Go,” Albafica murmured, dropping the glass shard, pushing him away. “You can fly. I’ll buy you time.” 

He turned, rising from his knees as he did, staining his cape with blood as he drew it around him like a shroud. It was going to be, in just a moment. He kept his back to his lover as he heard him stifle a sniffle and take off into the night. It could always have been worse. It was only hair, only Minos’ silver locks that he’d always taken such pride in. It wasn’t his throat, like he’d been instructed.

He stepped out from the shadows, clearing his throat, just loud enough only he could hear. “These secrets die with me,” he called, unsurprised to find his voice steady. Dignity would always be the last thing to go, and he would cling to it even facing mortality. “He’s gone. You can do as you will… but I warn you, it is as much as loss for you as it is for me.”

[screams @ all the validation ;o;]

[Pisces Lugonis/Icthỳes, the Pisces Surplice]

1. Who is the most affectionate? 

Depends on how you define affectionate! Lugonis is more PDA-style because he has no chill. Pisces has chill, and has no idea how to go about being openly affectionate, but is also very very clingy. Lugonis will twirl them around in the street and sweet-talk them without a moment’s notice and does take a fair bit of attention to answering the question “Have I shown Pisces how much I love them yet today?” because he knows they’re really really bad at reading him and need things to be blatant.

Pisces is just all over him the moment he gives them a few moments to do so. They’re more private about it unless they think someone’s hitting on him, then it’s all guns blazing on the jealousy and possessiveness. When walking beside him they link arms and Cosmos alike to make it as clear as they can that they’re together, and when in sync as Spectre and bearer they allow themself partial control of his body, so it’s also very clear that they are acting as more than a Surplice usually will. 

They kinda have different definitions of affection, but they’re both overkill on it. Poor Luco had to put up with their shit 24/7, but mostly poor Leo Cloth who couldn’t even gag in the background or leave the room voluntarily. :p

23. Who comes up with cheesy pick up lines?

Lugonis, every time, hands down. Pisces tried pick up lines once, but they were so bad that they actually worked. Lugonis has flirting down to a science, and also they’ve never heard the cliches before, so literally everything works on them and he is delighting in getting to use all the old favourites. But sometimes they’re on the ball when he tries, and they snip a witty comeback, and he’s very impressed. 

Lugonis, sitting beside them in a tavern over dinner: “Hey angel, did it hurt falling from heaven?”

Pisces, without looking up: “No, but I did not break a sweat when I ascended from hell, if that helps.”

Lugonis, on the ball and actually prepared: “Well now, can’t leave a poor surplice like you alone without some exercise. Care to spend the night on the mortal coil?”

Pisces, realizing they’re being flirted with: “That depends. Did you bring leather, or just a spare set of bedsheets?”

and so forth. They’re garbage and I am amazed. 

24. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear during inappropriate times?

Also Lugonis, every goddamn time. Pisces finds it very trying some days and deeply hilarious other days, because every other Spectre knows exactly what he’s doing and why, but there is no way they’re admitting to it on the mortal coil or where their siblings can see, because they are more than well aware they’ll never live it down. They still consider it the height of flirting, though. It isn’t as interesting if it’s not at least partially forbidden.

[Assorted Rhadamanthys/Valentine/Sylphide/Gordon/Queen]

7. What’s the first thing that changes when they realize they have feelings for the other?

Rhada always figures shit like this out at the most inconvenient times, and thus just sighs and resolves not to be too overbearing about it. He always seems a little bit more distant, and then Sylphide happens and comes crashing into his office when he’s passed out on the couch and somehow this ends in Sylphide sandwiched between Rhada’s chest and the cushions. He gets more protective of his hoard, and that means aggressive cuddling when he’s forced to acknowledge his own emotions.

27. Who would sing to their child back to sleep?

See, this is where you are a Fool, because I have a Wyvern Harem child, and they are Changeling Asterion, and they are very soft. Val sings them to sleep, because he’s the best singer of them and Asterion tends to be out cold in ten seconds once Val starts singing lullabies. They’ll doze well if Queen’s trying to get them to sleep and Gordon’s heartbeat is very soothing, and Rhada purring is literally always perfect, but Val takes the cake on singing them to sleep. Sylphide is just a terrible thing to try and cuddle when you’re both cold-blooded, so they don’t do much cuddling together on their own without an adequate Warmth Generator. 

Val still has the market on singing, though. That’s just how he reassures himself that Asterion’s his and also doing well. He sings when he’s happy and gets to banshee scream when he’s not. Lots of singing happens anyway.

28. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Rhada pines, and doesn’t realize he’s doing it until Minos makes fun of him for it. Constantly at least a little worried on what they’re doing and if they’re well and wishes they were where he could see them.

Val tends to be nervous, but really enjoys talking for hours over the radio while he’s doing things, and especially enjoys leaving it on when he passes out so he can fall asleep to the sound of everyone’s breathing, so he can pretend they’re there.

Sylphide is grumpier than usual and tends to be snippy, and this gets worse the longer he’s away from them. He can be cheered up a little with their voices over the radio, but he’s still grumpy and annoyed and tense and willing to pick about a million fights for no goddamn reason.

Gordon doesn’t show it too well, he’s quiet and just seems pensive. You don’t even realize how much he’s missed them until he gets back and decides that’s it, he’s velcroing himself to one of them and tying someone up in his sweater. He gets the advantage of being the biggest for a reason.

Queen’s even more infuriatingly sweet and vicious when there’s nobody to calm him down, and unfortunately has the side effect of making it look like he wants affection, and then trying to kill you when you acquiesce to this. He gets back to normal once he sees them again, thankfully.

Huehuehue. MiAlba in the second ask, which may not be done until later tonight, because class.

[Libra Dohko/Bennu Kagaho]

Most common argument?

“Kagaho I get it’s a new moon and you’re a bird and all that but PLEASE stop bringing me dead rats hoping I’ll eat them I am NOT GOING TO DO THAT.”

[cue Kagaho being offended for several hours because he genuinely forgot humans don’t eat dead rats]

Who worries the most?

Kagaho will tell you he does, because he is a ball of anxiety and trauma and Dohko is a squishy human with only one life to lose, and Dohko’s always so calm and doesn’t seem to worry much. Unfortunately, and also fortunately, Dohko knows him well and gets the fun joy of watching Kagaho do incredibly stupid, downright suicidal things out of trauma and a subconscious desire to beat the shit out of himself, because he can’t actually die, and Dohko may seem calm but he only isn’t worrying about Kagaho when he is asleep in his arms, and even then, is worrying about whether or not Hypnos and the dream gods are being nice to him. Dohko does kinda have the Saintly saviour complex, and goddamn, he loves his poor fiance too much to watch him do all of this to himself.

[Pisces Lugonis/Icthỳes, the Pisces Surplice]

Favorite non-sexual activity?

That’s a hard one! I’m gonna go with actually sleeping together. Pisces likes it because he’s close, he’s letting them hang around him while he’s asleep (translation from Spectre: he allows them to see him vulnerable, and trusts them not to kill him), and he tends to sleeptalk a little and often says completely adorable, nonsensical things.

Lugonis likes sleeping together because Pisces regulates their temperature incredibly well, and even in sleep he can shift his Cosmos just enough that they’ll respond and automatically adjust. They’re cool in the summertime and a true Warmth Generator in the winter, and they’re very clingy so he never has to worry about waking up with them gone. It also has the added danger of all the pointy bits, and he likes things just a little dangerous. That and he considers Pisces when they’re still half-asleep and just woke up the height of cuteness.

Who cooks more/who is better at cooking?

Lugonis, surprisingly. You’d figure he wouldn’t know how to considering how much of a human disaster he is, but he enjoys eating and saw very little people before he really got rolling with the Meikai. Pisces has never once in their life actually needed to eat, and Spectres are just immortal enough to be able to go days without food that it’s not usually a concern on whether or not their bearers eat, because they’re rarely together long enough for it to actually be concerning.

okay so let’s do two parts to this, what i think of shion and what i think of fridging him. keep in mind i am so very tired so this may not be coherent

firstly let’s go with the part that is likely to be shorter what do i think of fridging him. i think it’s acceptable sometimes but you have to justify it. now usually fridging isn’t justified but i also class “making someone the evil ex to get the otp together” as fridging, and when it comes to mialba shion already kinda fills that role lmao. his treatment of albafica is pretty unforgivable to me so i will fridge him as i please. but you have to justify it, don’t just make him a dick for no reason yknow? at least make him in character

anyhow what do i think of shion. i enjoy him! i like him a lot! i think he and alba could have a decent enough brotp if shion learned what fucking boundaries are! as a person he’s pretty good and he’s clearly trying and he also has five entire braincells. i really enjoy his dynamic with the aries twins, and aiacos, and his brotp with dohko, and frankly he’s the only valid pope. literally no other pope is valid (shoutout to sage for being the worst fucking person ever, i enjoy fridging the hell out of him), shion is the only good pope.

spectre shion is terrifying. frankly i don’t think classic did us good enough with the gold spectres which is one of many reasons why my fiancé’s fics make me wanna breathe properly, and spectre shion is pretty impressive. child shion in his gaiden Well. it’s not often someone tries to show a ten year old as super horny and i don’t find it a little repulsive but goddamn he was a horny ass ten year old and i am impressed. seriously why did we have a ten year old jacking off to the sexy memories of a gold cloth. why did that happen and y’all knew it was happening because not one but two people called him out on it (and why tf were the gold cloths down to fuck anyway. who let a ten year old have a harem of living but inanimate metal suits of armour. i keep calling the whole thing shion’s cloth harem but then i imagine ten year old shion like fuckin madness of duke venomania with gold cloths around him in fuckin victoria’s secret lingerie. i am so very tired.)

i think shion makes a real nice otp with aiacos. aiacos is all “ain’t you tired of being nice? don’t you ever wanna go apeshit??” and shion’s all “yeah and i’ll start by decking you” and then a shion’s like “ain’t you tired of going apeshit. don’t you ever want to just be nice” and then aiacos starts crying because maybe he does sometimes he doesn’t know. they’re supportive but also tease each other a lot and i just wanna see them realize together that yeah, they’re teenagers, but they’re also in a war and growing up inside that, and that they can’t be just two kids on a summer romance. they want to be on a summer romance so bad but there’s just trauma and slaughter and uncertainty and anyway give me that good good star crossed lovers

also shion’s lemurian so he’s human adjacent and that can mean whatever the fuck i want. that’s very sexy of kurumada i can make him an elf. circle browed elf boy who looked at minos’ hairstyle and went “i can do that but worse aiacos hold my chisel” and goddamn that happened

Someone’s salty today, lmaoooo

Ship that you’re indifferent to: 

Minos/Aiacos! I headcanon them as a brotp because they’re half-brothers, but also Spica loves them together, so I’m pretty indifferent to it. Like, if I see it I’ll slide it Spica’s way, but otherwise I just don’t care.

Except for when Minos could be mistaken for Shion and then I can put it in my AiaShion folder. Which has only happened once so far, but y’know, good enough for my desperate ass. :p

Ship that you can never see happening: 

I had to think for a second! But I’m gonna go with Alone/Tenma, for two actually kind of glaringly obvious reasons:

1) Tenma why the fuck didn’t you just take him with you and let him live in Rodorio. Why the fuck did you abandon him a country over when you know he’s still traumatized over his sister abandoning him.

2) Alone genuinely loves his Spectres. Between the friend who abandoned him and his new family who swore to take care of him, which do you think he’s going to choose? Canon did him a disservice.

See, this is one of the things with canon that I take issue with because unfortunately, they wrote the Spectres too well. We see a lot of their heroism and just straight up not enough of their villainy. Sure, they kill lots of folks, but it’s just gratuitous violence. I’m so used to protagonists doing the same shit that it fails to actively make them seem evil.

The Spectres adopted Alone and told him they’d love him always, and he’d already been abandoned by literally the only two people who ever gave a damn about him. You think Alone has high self-esteem? No the fuck he does not. I guarantee you that kid was absolutely convinced the Spectres didn’t really love him even though they proved it over and over again. There’s reason why I make their relationship so positive, because it would have to be.

In order to corrupt him into forgiving their murdery ways, they’d have to love him first, and get through to him enough to make him believe it. Part two isn’t too hard, considering he’d either be super closed off or absolutely desperate for anyone’s attention. The kid didn’t have a single support system.

Frankly, I’m amazed absolutely not once did it ever come up that one of the Spectres went “Soooo he abandoned you in favour of your sister, didn’t take you with him, and you still love him? What the fuck, kid? What has he done to warrant your affection after that??” because that would be pretty much anyone’s reaction.

Alone finds a new family that actually takes care of him, and Tenma keeps trying to kill him. I just can’t see it, folks! Maybe before canon happens, but during and after? I can’t! I just can’t!! This is why I gave Alone another Spectre kid to love!! That’s just better!!

Ship that pisses you off: 

Shion/Albafica. Like sure, just stab his PTSD with another pitchfork, why don’t you? I know it’s rich coming from me the MiAlba shipper, but you know. I super heavily dislike every interaction they have in canon. It always goes Shion touches Alba, Alba gets pissed because that’s a boundary that’s been crossed yet again by someone he considers a ‘friend’, he tells him off, Shion ignores him and tells him his PTSD is invalid and means jack to him, and then it gets romanticized as somehow helping him.

He has that reaction because he literally murdered his own father doing that. That’s not a “I need to get better at trusting people because this is a defense mechanism I no longer need” boundary that needs to be worked on. That is a “this is my fucking boundaries and I do not want them crossed ever” boundary, and Shion just completely ignores it.

This is where Yami and I disagree most heavily, because we both project way too hard on poor Alba. He sees it - as far as I understand - as kind of like depression where sometimes you have to be dragged out of the house until you feel better. I see it like my boundaries with anger, where there is no greener side when it’s been crossed. There’s no ‘get out of your comfort zone!!’ with that. There is nothing on the other side of Alba’s comfort zone but more panic, more trauma, and possible retraumatization by killing someone else.

I mean, I guess it can be pointed out that Alba doesn’t know that it’s only the blood and he can touch people so long as he doesn’t bleed on them. But that’s recovery that needs to be done on his terms, and his terms only. Shion’s terms of shoving his way in is literally only making it worse.

Oh, and at the end Shion wins and carries his bloody corpse away without a problem. Now, I have serious issues with Albafica’s character arc, but that was just such a dick move by canon. Shion never should’ve been allowed that, and Albafica’s PTSD never should have been invalidated like that and painted as that illogical. His reasons were perfectly fucking reasonable and it was a disgrace to him to see.

Anyway it is very rare that someone manages to justify these two to me. They can be a brotp. But only if Shion learns his fucking boundaries and sticks to them. Otherwise no. Fuck that.

for the plural ask game: 🐬👾

🐬 What’s the most common color that appears in your system?

Apparently red! We would have guessed at blue originally, but it's red.

👾 What’s the most common species to appear in your system?