#doom 64

He still isn't sure how you two made it work but somehow the two of you made an acceptable living space for Daisy out of the only spare room in your apartment. She was house trained which - and he's a bit shamed to admit - he looked at you completely strangely like you grew an arm out of your head or something when you first told him that she could use a damn litter box, you know like a cat when she was definitely not a cat. But low and behold she used it without second thought, causing him to stand in the doorway in disbelief for a solid two minutes.

She had her pin with her nest and various perches and toys she would play and be content with and would excitedly hop on over every single time you'd open the gate and step in and happily eat out of your hand and eventually lay on your lap every time she would see you. She was like a damn cat.

With him? Not so much.

She'd run and hide every time he'd even step an inch inside the pin. You won her love with food so he tries feeding her in the rare instances she doesn't immediately flee but she eventually does and frantically escapes out of your arms when holding her.

He didn't get it. Was it because he was too big? That he seemed threatening? He tries to always move slow and not make too sudden of movements when around but it always ends up the same. She didn't do this at Mom's house, she would always stay clear of him and he made no effort to really engage with her but... maybe it's because she now knows she has to live with him. Live what she deemed as scary threat. It makes him feel bad. She was the last connection he had of his mom and here he is ruining it not on purpose.

Eventually, two months in, he gives up. Accepts it. He still feels horrible but he leaves you to tend to her, afraid of him even trying would just needless stress the poor thing out.

That is until a couple weeks later.

His last Commanding Officer had just retired and his Squadron had just been assigned a new one, in bed he's reading the record of this new Commander as he likes to do to get feel what to expect going forward. He liked his old Commander, old man considerate and down to earth with a good sense of justice and humanity, he really admired that about him and he likes working with people like that. This new Commander... not so much. The record showed the taste of a selfish spineless bastard that only wanted to get what every assignment done no matter the risk or cost. It put a certain taste in his mouth he's not looking forward to see first hand and its not like he can quit or be reassigned to other Squadron, he's worked with some of those men for years and the trust he has in them he can't just abandon. So he just has to grit his teeth and bare it until Commander Dipshit slips and the next assigned CO comes along.

His eyes feel tired, he sets down the tablet on his nightstand and looks over go see your still missing spot and is about to see if something was wrong to keep you away this long until right at that exact moment you come rushing into the bedroom with wide panic in your eyes.

"It's Daisy!"

She's bleeding with a wide gash in her side and her right foot twisted in a jagged unnatural direction as she lays in a towel on the kitchen table.

"I - I - I don't know how she got out! I looked at the window and - I got her as soon as I could - Flynn-"

He moves without thinking, battlefield experience kicking in as he rushing towards the bathroom medicine cabit to retrieve first aid. He tends to her without question and she lets him, the rabbit having to be in shock as she trembles on the bloody towel on the countertop. She's stitched with a bandage wrapped tight around her stomach and what remained of her foot. What could've possibly got her to snap bone like that? It didn't matter, all that did was him setting it and coming up together with the limited resources he had to make a makeshift cast.

Even with her being treated it was still rough, you couldn't call a vet this late at night so she had to fight through it. Neither of you slept, just watching over her. He was fully expectent she wouldn't survive the night and sat on the couch silently screaming at himself and apologizing to her and his mother over and over again.

But by miracle she pulled through.

The vet said she would be fine, even complimenting the stitchwork towards you - even when you tried correcting her but it didn't really seem to go through because how the hell would a 6'8 man be able to do such fine delicate work? Whatever. The more important thing was Daisy would be okay, she just needed time to heal.

Healing went a lot easier than expected, she though didn't really move around a lot and kept more to herself and when she did move she didn't really hop but more waddled from place to place. But she was calm, she still made her way over to you every time you visited - which now was more frequent than it already was - and would still play and eat out of your hand. But something did change.

She didn't flee when he was around.

While he did give up, he thought especially with her state he would check up on her every now and again, staying outside of the gate to the pin. She didn't run. It was very clear she knew he was there but she didn't run. That's some progress. You noticed it too and were practically over the moon glad but you both took the process slow, until eventually you convince him to sit with you in the pin. Like that day you convinced him to take her in, this time without the shitty lawn chairs... Daisy let you pet and feed her and she ignored him. Until she didn't.

Right in the middle when he was sharing with you feeling this is a lost cause when he tried feeding her a carrot to no success - she bit it. Taking him by surprise. He stares gawked until she keeps eating. More and more until not even a stub was left in his hand. She doesn't headbutt his hand like she does yours, just limbers away when she's done, he looks at that same hand confused. Well he couldn't give up now.

Everyday, even in the mornings right before he has to drive to Base, he'd spend time with her. Feed her out of his hand before he even had his own breakfast with you. She still didn't headbutt him, ate then went back to her own business like knocking her ball around carpet and then he'd still watch her. Every day until finally she did it.

It'd been weeks and finally her stomach bandage could be removed with her side healed when she did it. She headbutts so rough it'd send your hand back just a little bit but it's a sign of affection. He wasn't even thinking about it when she surprised him with it. He looks at her shocked afterwards, she just turned and goes to play with her ball, it's then when he finally got it. He understood.

What it meant to love a pet.

Slowly over time Daisy opened up to him more, showed him as much affection as she does for you - hell he can even pick her up and or she just follows him around on the apartment on her own. Speaking of, with each new assignment that requires a different locale means you have to move from apartment to apartment and state to state like before she entered the picture which she wasn't exactly a fan of at first but luckily each place you were able to find was accommodating for her to comfortably live in which seemed to also click for her to be able to move around as much willingly - it meant new scenery after all.

There hasn't been another incident last the last time and she doesn't attempt to ever go outside by herself again so she doesn't need to be strictly inside the pin where she can responsibly go around the house and hell even sleeps with you both in the bed. The past two years have really convinced him that this rabbit actually might be part cat.

Right now you're back in Texas, back in his childhood city actually, not that far from his childhood home which unfortunately has been sold with a new family moved in so he can visit anymore but he's come to long accept it. Things have been great. Until recently.

"MARS?!" You shout back at him in disbelief.

"It's only for six months until this punishment runs out when Commander War Criminal Shithead is out of his body cast and comes back from Pearl Harbor then I'll be reassigned to other Squadron. For now it's just desk duty and security for a research lab." Which he still hates - but hell not as much as this whole twisted joke of a situation at hand.

"Six months." You repeat, exhausted. Him being gone periods of time wasn't exactly the issue, he's military so it's expected, but usually on average it's for a couple of weeks - the longest being two months from a practically annoying assignment a couple years back - but six months was completely different. Half of an entire year. "It's a stupid question to ask but I can't come with you, can I?"

"...no. It's a private facility, not for the public so only granted personnel." It hurts to say but you look at him understandingly then back at the floor.

"Our anniversary is coming up."

"I know. But I couldn't just..."

"I know. And I'm glad you did."

It was left at that. You helped him pack then made love all night as he was ordered to leave the next morning.

Daisy loudly chews on the carrot stick in his hand as he pets her on the living room floor. No idea what was going on and just contently ate.

"Promise you're going to be good, okay? (Name) doesn't need anymore stress so no more three AM snack pleas." Her ear twitches which bring a dumb little smile on his face. He then eyes her foot, it's been two years so it's healed and no longer in the cast but it still had that unnatural shape to it - but she could walk on it just fine, still no longer able to properly hop as good as she once did but a little bit, she moved slower than most rabbits.

"I'll miss you two." He confesses. "But it's only six months. It'll be over before you both notice I'm gone."

But he knows it's not that simple. You've been more quiet all that morning. With one more petting goodbye he picks Daisy up and carries her to the other room with her pin and sets her down, she had plenty food and water to do her good until you came back home from dropping him off at the launch site. She stays by the gate, sitting on her hind legs to stand before him he gives her one last pat, her headbutting his palm.

"See you later."

You and him didn't have that long to say goodbye, his superiors already barking at him to get on the ship, you only had maybe one or two minutes at most. There was nothing either of you could really say that hasn't already been said, tough out the next six months and all of this will be like a bad dream. He'll be back to you and Daisy in no time. He promises that. To make up for the missed wedding anniversary he even says he'll take you to that fancy restaurant you like, even if it meant he has to squeeze into the suffocating suit that's three sizes too small on him because finding stuff for his height isn't the most easiest of tasks in the world - but for you it's worth it. He kisses you and promises. Only six months. He doesn't actually even voice the actual word goodbye itself because it isn't.

"Only six months. I love you."

When the space ship takes off out the small window he can see your figure in the crowd with the rest of the crews families, growing smaller and smaller until the ship itself was completely out of the atmosphere.

Only six months.

A very boring six months it seems as he sits there at the tiny desk in the even tinier office. It was practically more of a broom closet than a security room, it especially didn't help with his size being so tall he can't even put his knees under the desk and has to slouch over to watch over the camera feeds on the monitors that showed the various differences labs and facility buildings on Phobos. He had to slouch there and stare at screens. Screens that showed basically nothing but walking lab coats. For six months. And he's only on month two.

But he doesn't just look at screens, he sometimes reads the comic books he brought with him which he likes... but he's read all of them in the first week and rereading is fun but... not for six months. He also more importantly has pictures of both you and Daisy which he proudly has on his desk, two months he already misses the both of you to death, even imagines what you could be possibly doing a planet away while he's stuck here sitting in a chair seat too tiny for his ass.

Four months in is when something finally happens with the cameras - as in they stop working completely. It wasn't odd for them to flicker or flash as he's been use to it the last couple of months, chopped it down to something the labs were doing causing interference or something but they would never last that long. No, now they stopped working entirely, nothing but blue static. He reaches over to the call button to report but then... that's stopped working too. That never happeneds. He's rarely used it on his end but it's two-way, meaning he'd usually get calls signaled by the button itself flashing. Now he clicks it does nothing, no light. It wasn't a power outage because the office lights were still on.

He was currently located on a small base on the edge of the moon, a good distance away from the actual labs themselves. The base itself held Squadron of soliders he wasn't technically a part of, being on desk duty and all. After waiting a bit that maybe it'd get settled out like usual he gets the feeling in his gut to go on and get up about to go and see what the sudden trouble is but he's beat to the punch as the office door gets kicked down, armed solider in the doorway.

"Main Hall. Now."

The UAC facilities were being attacked. By who? No one would give him a straight answer. Oh and Deimos was gone, like actually literally gone like the damn other moon missing from the sky. He couldn't even imagine an explanation and more understood why no clear answer on that however because... how could you explain that? How does a whole damn moon just up and disappear?

He stands with a squad who gets their orders to secure each building because whatever attacked had them completely compromised. Everyone was ordered except him, he currently as his position as security clerk and off duty marine he wasn't granted. He was to stay put and communicate off planet if need be. It made him mad but he didn't argue, with whatever situation was at hand and he didn't want another six months away from home for disobeying direct orders. So he stands by and waits, hearing the constant gun fire from miles away as he sits on one of the spare vehicles kneading the wedding ring around his finger for comfort.

Eventually, gun fire stops and for a bit he thinks it's been solved but hours later when no one comes back to base is when the dread hits. He gets up and goes inside to base, in the control room where the outer planet coms are he fiddles with to his horror discovers they've also stopped working.

They had no help. They were isolated.

It's still eerily quiet, no sounds of struggle or war. No - no that couldn't be it. There has to be survivors, there had to. He feels at the pistol at his hip, it was the only weapon he had. But it had to do. He goes back to his small security office and retrieves the only things he wanted - pictures of you and Daisy to go in his wallet... just in case of the worst. He takes that spare vehicle and drives to the nearest building, he sees nothing too out of the ordinary until-

Tossed body parts. Body parts. Tons of them. Like a wild animal had gotten to them. Blood stained the dark dirt in massive splatters. He gets out of the vehicle with his gun drawn and takes a careful step closer to the lab building, nearly jumps when something grabs his ankle. Horror sets in.

"De... de..." It was the same solider that came to his office, torn in half from the waist down with his lower half haphazardly thrown off to the side several feet away from his upper. The man on the ground points to the building. "...demons..."

Demons?

Before he can question it the solider succumbs to death. He takes silent moment to mourn the loss but turns to look over his shoulder.

What the hell was in that building?

It was Hell. Actual Hell. One building to the next to the next where he fought for his life against the mentioned demons and it only got worse and worse the longer it went on. Oh and he found Deimos, which was in actual literal Hell! How'd it get there? How all of this got here? These damn scientists he's been reprimanded to watch over were performing actual experiments revolving something with teleporting and it somehow opened portals to Hell and the whole moon got pull through and demons came out. Of course. He stopped questioning it hours ago for his own sanity. Speaking of he didn't know if it was actually hours, it felt like days and he hasn't gotten to rest once now navigating these strange labyrinthine Hellscapes. His body couldn't afford to be tired. He was hungry, his stomach that was currently exposed thanks to the rip now in his armor growled but he couldn't do anything about it. Just keep moving.

He fought and he fought and fought. Killing demons and what use to be acquaintances, fellow soliders that were somehow turned into these mindless... zombie things. Honoring their sakes he puts them down too. Until finally he killed what he believed to be the creature behind this whole mess, ugly and arachnid in nature and shot fucking lasers at him. But it was dead now. And in the center of the arena looked to be a portal... portal that looked like earth on the other side. It put more fear in him than this entire experience had brought him.

And that fear was more than warranted.

Demons attacked worldwide. Nothing could stop them. He managed to get in contact with a UAC base that shared with him this information, along with the even worse news. There were evacuees only a couple dozen thousands - out of the world's entire population - but that was it. Everyone else was hit in the mass extinction event. Hearing that he could only think one thing.

He had to get home.

He was miles away, no working vehicle, he raced there - faster than he ever had in his life and shooting every demonic creature with his shotgun that entered his sight but he did not stop moving. He hoped - prayed - you had managed to be one of the couple thousand evacuees that managed to get out. His wedding ring heavy on his finger inside his glove, he could feel the metal on him as a reminder each time he shot his gun as blood splattered on his face and he left a trail of corpses behind him as he had only one goal.

Get home.

The city was in reach, your apartment together not that far off. He kept running, running and shooting, every single memory he had with you repeating and flashing in his head.

Until his trips on something. He stops. He could've kept running his way home but something made him stop and look at the ground at what it was.

A detached, unnaturally bent, rabbit's foot.

Not that far from it, strung apart pieces of a mangled body.

That far from that, a pike.

Daisy's head sat on that pike.

He reaches out and places his hand on the head, a stir of denial in him expecting her to headbutt his palm like she usually does. But nothing. She is a cold lifeless corpse. A cruel death. He removes her head from the pike and hold it close to him.

"I'm so sorry. You're with my mom now."

He buries her, the best he can but takes her foot with him, he isn't sure why but he keeps it close in his pocket. A reminder he supposed. Not for luck like the tales say but a reminder.

He walks slowly down the block, his footsteps heavy with each step, he sees the apartment in the distance. His boots crunch on cheap wood of the porch as he makes his way up, he held tight on the railing as he marched if only to keep his sanity as he stared wide eyed at the remains front door - completely broken in half and the screen door completely gone as it's been tossed in the yard. The windows of the apartment were also shattered. Everything he saw already told him the truth but he denies it with each step he takes. Somehow he had hope. He had to. Somehow. Even if only threadbare.

But that thread snaps the moment he steps in the doorway of the destroyed living room. Blood painted the walls.

He found you.

He walks dead on his feet, on autopilot as he kills everything that lands in his line of sight the mere instance he sees it. After all he's alone. Hell on earth and he's determined to make every single of these sick evil bastards regret even being created. Pain. Misery. It's all they cause. He didn't need sleep. He can sleep when he's dead. He's injured, beat up to hell but he couldn't be bothered to give a damn anymore. Kill. Kill. Kill. Make them pay.

Anger. Such deep anger is what keeps him breathing. He's on a pile of corpses as hoards lunge at him, one even grabbing his arm but pure unadulterated anger keeps him alive. Every single one. He had to see the death of every single one. If he runs out of bullets fuck it he might even start trying to rip them apart with his bare hands.

He hates them. Hates them more than he thinks he's ever hated anything in his entire life. Every single one of them has to die. They slaughtered his family. Killed everyone. Millions upon millions of people. Every single of these despicable vile creatures deserve worse than what he's giving them. He spits blood back in their faces and grabs an imp by the back of the head and crams it's jaw open with the barrel of his shotgun down it's throat and watches it's head explode in his hands, bathing himself in further blood. And it still wasn't enough. He could kill them in worse and worse ways and it still wouldn't make up for how he felt. More and more needed to die.

But they were survivors, now fully evacuated into space thanks to his help but they needed a planet to come back home to. And as sole human on earth he's completely willing to do that pest control and to mention kill and stop whatever the source is that directly tying Earth to Hell, closing whatever gate, kill whatever gatekeeper. And he does so with now trusty rocket launcher in hand.

Earth is now saved, the connection severed and the demons eventually dying out from either his bullets or from being entirely cut off from whatever Hellic engery he guessed. Humanity could return and rebuild.

But at what cost?

He was glad, not get him wrong, glad that at least some people were saved but... out of the entire human population there was before now only a couple thousand handful remained. And you weren't one of them. No one he really knew were ones of them. He was now entirely alone.

All he had in the midst of the crowds of survivors returned back to demon free Earth crying in each other's arms was a rabbit's foot, his and your wedding rings, and memories. That's it.

He had no where else to go, it's not like he every wants to enter that apartment ever again but even if he did the UAC doesn't let him. Which he sort of understands, he was a one man army that did save the human race so maybe it's reasonable for him to be placed on a base just in case... things... arise again. Hell could easily come back any day now and it's gotten a good taste of Earth's blood. But still he hates it. Being in another one of these bases makes him sick and makes him see vivid images of the horrors in his mind. But he doesn't fight it. There'd be no point. Where else is he going to go? What? Is he just supposed to forget?

His assumptions are right; they do want him to handle demonic situations when they come up - they're small cases normally, usually due to some kind of scientists meddling (it's always some damn scientist) which enrages him beyond belief but he goes along with it, acting as clean up exterminator when shit goes wrong, because even with how mad he gets that these dumbasses who have seen and survived first hand the initial invasion still want to poke their dumbass noses into Hell his feelings are nowhere near comparable to that anger he hasn't stopped feeling since that day. If it meant he can kill more demons he'll do it no matter the reason. That anger keeping him going the next five years.

He hadn't noticed it or really cared to until it's pointed out to him that he's started talking less, or when he does it's more cold and rougher than it was prior. He keeps more to himself than he did in his life before. He wasn't the most social of guy back then definitely awkward he never really knew what to say in various given situations and being much taller than majority of most people where everyone had to crank their head up to even look at him didn't really help with that but it was you who encouraged him to get out and relax a little, get out of his shell, talk and chill with people, friends. Without you he didn't have that. Without you he saw no point in trying that anymore. The anger still hasn't went away, he doesn't think it ever will. His mother would be disappointed, believing such hatred brings down a person but... his whole life was ruined.

In bed at night he stares up at the ceiling and thinks for hours, countless of possibilities, things he could've changed, done differently, anything he could've done to change it. He doesn't regret beating up Commander Shithead - who is still alive and survived the demonic invasion by the way in such twisted luck - he saved those people he was ordered to kill, innocent civilians that just happened to be in the way at a wrong time... and he doesn't even know if they survived the invasion. For all he knows they could've ended up dead either way, and if he wasn't discharged on Mars he would've been home to protect you and Daisy. Or he thinks maybe if he noticed the teleportation experiments sooner - stop them before any portal to Hell could've opened, not be childish and bored lazily barely looking at the screens and maybe noticed something that could've prevented this whole damn mess! Prevented the deaths of millions!

He still sees you. The first time he saw you and gathered the courage to talk to you, the first time you kissed, taking you to meet his parents, your wedding, taking Daisy home, your shredded corpse that was in too many pieces for him to be able to bury he could only retrieve your ring. Over and over every time he closes his eyes it's all he sees and Daisy's head on that damn pike. It's the source of the anger.

'Super-Hell-PTSD™' is what he diagnosed with, or well in more professional terms but it's what he's ended up calling it. No cure. It's fine. Nothing he can do about it but keep fighting like he always has.

He keeps his wedding ring on his finger even still in combat slaughtering demons, underneath his glove like be always has, yours is on his dogtag inside his armored uniform close to his heart. He's reminded of it every time he moves, as he fights, as a reminder just like the rabbit's foot in his back pocket. He never wants to forget. He will never forget.

After five years he's finally back on Mars, a demonic invasion he's been sent to take care of as always - sick and twisted joke the decided to invade from here of all places, like they did on purpose. But the more he thought of it... killing demons he's already killed that have been revived somehow but more powerful... whatever mastermind behind it this time was doing it on purpose to goad him, knowing he's the only one Earth can send. That's fine. He'll give them exactly what they want and personally put a bullet in its head. As a clear message.

Try him.

It's the same song and dance as always. It has been for past five years since the initial crisis and he's been sent to clean up the pieces yet again. It's once he's back in Hell that maybe for the first time in a long time his mind is clear, Mother of all demons or whatever she had claimed herself dead at his feet.

It's never going to change, is it? Things will never be like they were before. He'll never be who he was before, Flynn died five years ago only an empty husk of vengeance was left in his place. There was no point in going back. He belonged here now. If he stayed here he could keep the rot in from the inside, keep the remainder of humanity he had fought so hard for safe. He'll miss it, his thoughts had been clouded and occupied by nothing but the anger he felt but he did love and appreciate earth, he so glad he managed to safe it and all the wonderful things and people on it. And if he had to sacrifice himself in order to keep that safety? To keep from having more people experience what he went through? So be it.

Thousands of years he fights, either some sort of time dilation or Hell magic keeps him alive and even makes him survive things he shouldn't but maybe it is that anger that's become more than second nature to him that keeps him breathing out of spite. He didn't need sleep. He didn't need food. He needed to fight. He's much stronger than he was back then - hell that might be the complete understatement of millenia - he's long ran out of ammo that he has to either makeshift his own or rip and tear apart demons with his bare hands, or crush their skulls in his fist. He's scouted practically every inch and different realms of Hell but the demon supply never runs dry and a good portion of them now run when they see him. He was their apex predator.

But in all of this he still hasn't forgotten. He hasn't went entirely insane or lost his motive of reason to fight in all of the unfathomable amount of time. His old marine armor is ancient and tattered and rusted at this point but he still has only important belongings to him; in his back pocket was his wallet with two important photos and a bent rabbit's foot. On his finger embedded in his skin was one ring. Rusted chain around his neck with a name he no longer uses but held onto the other ring. He hasn't forgotten you and Daisy once. He thinks about you two and the life you once had every uncountable day.

Even when he's eventually found one random day and captured in a world or universe that very clearly isn't the one he had originally left, taken in, imprisoned and made a weapon walking wake of destruction under their control to continue fighting the forces of Hell. The Night Sentinels do try to take his momentos away but they learn very quick to regret even trying. They can cage and even mind control him but they will never part them from him how deeply important they were to him, how rooted they were to him. The last remnants of his old life. Why he continues to stand and fight.

He will never forget.