#dont'

fuck man like. 

This child. Girl who’s three years younger than me is being considered for shift manager. She’s 17 and they are planning to fucking promote her once she turns 18. Listen, I’ve been in the fucking industry for 2 years. and just, fucking was promised more. Promised.

And here’s the fucking thing. 

No one fucking trusts me like okay when jobs say they are open to hiring people who are struggle with mental illnesses, THEY ARE FUCKING LYING TO YOUR FUCKING FACE.

no one gives a shit. Hell, my new store manager things whenever i talk loudly that i’m fucking ready to have a panic attack and tries to sit me the fuck down EVERY FUCKING TIME like IM SORRY I KIND OF HAVE TO SPEAK LOUDLY WHEN THE STORE IS FUCKING BUSY AND WHEN PEOPLE ARE SO FUCKING DEAF.

and every single time. 

“You need to care about your job but just fucking stand there and look pretty”

THANKS. 

REAL FUCKING APPRECIATE IT. 

And fuck none of your assholes properly trained me I LEARNED HOW TO MAKE DRINKS, TIPS, TRICKS AND ALL THAT JAZZ FROM OTHER STORES.

WHY THE FUCK AREN’T YOU FUCKING TRAINING ME?

oh I fucking know why. Because you see me as completely useless and #problematic. And fuck you because y’all fucking know i need this fucking ass job.

“YEAH LETS NOT TRAIN THE COMPLETELY COMPETENT NEW HIRE HOW TO DO THEIR FUCKING JOB SO THEY WILL EVENTUALLY FUCKING QUIT”

FUCK YOU STARBUCKS LIKE SHIT.

fuck you..

I really want to quit

its so fucking stressful i’m never going to get anywhere.

fuck no one is going to want to pay someone like me over the minimum wage.

FUck no one is going to want to hire me being the way I am

like

I don’t do anything right I fucking hurt everyone around me and fuck I KNOW IM HURTING YOU AND FUCK YOURE GOING TO GET HURT BY ME . i guess im just real fucking good at bringing the worst out of people considering how many friendships I’ve ruined within 6 months.

How many is that?

PRACTICALLY EVERY FUCKING ONE.

I can’t be happy and I can’t have healthy loving relationships without hurting people.

What’s the fucking point?

shit. 

right. 

Because everyone fucking has this irrational fucking thought that life is worth it.

GUESS FUCKING WHAT.

ITS NOT GREAT AT FUCKING ALL.

AND I BET PEOPLE WHO SAY LIFE IS WORTH IT CANT GIVE ME A GOOD FUCKING REASON TO LIVE.

..

fuck starbucks.

Fuck all of you for constantly shaming me into living.

Just,

Fuck.

I wish I was never born.