#dongheon

You've already apologized for it. Dongheon brushed it off as no big deal—telling you to just forget it ever happened, yet still the moment keeps playing on repeat in your head. You can't just forget it ever happened. You're scared to admit that it has woken a realization in you. You crossed the boundaries with him and you liked it.

It was a stupid work event, held at this absurdly fancy hotel. Everyone was expected to dress nicely, so you had picked a suitable floor-length satin gown. It hugged all your curves in the right spots, and gave you more attention than you had anticipated. You can never trust a determined guy to pick up on a women's disinterest to their flirting. You had to escape the situation somehow.

Dongheon had been within arm's reach, but oblivious to the conversation this guy had just struck up with you; completely unaware that he was looking you up and down, eyes settling where they should not be while increasingly forward attempts to get you to tell him your number came flowing from his mouth with no shame. You had panicked and picked the first solution to get him to leave that you could.

That involved pulling Dongheon away from his own conversation and nearly pouncing on him before he had any time to process anything. The kiss was a successful strategy. It got the man to leave after finally taking the hint that you were uninterested. The kiss was also way too good for being a last resort to get out of an uncomfortable encounter.

Your can't forget how perfect his lips felt against yours. How plush and soft they were. How they didn't just feel good, they felt right. How even despite being caught off guard, he still went along with it immediately. He kissed you back like it meant something—enough to make it believable to everyone in the room. Enough to make even you believe it. That's what your brain can't let go of.

You try everything you can to curb the spiral of thoughts your brain is going down. You focus on the song playing through the speakers to stop thinking about it. It doesn't work. It's a love song. Of course it is. Your eyes glance back at him automatically, already relating the lyrics to him. And, fuck, you shouldn't do that. Best friends shouldn't do that.

You decide the window is your new best friend, so you'll stare at it instead. You look at the rain streaking down the glass and the highway signs on the side of the road. It isn't long until your eyes drift back to him and settle without any inclination to leave. You're not sure how it's possible that your eyes pick up on things you never bothered to noticed before. Has your best friend always been this damn attractive? Of course, the main focus becomes his lips. If Dongheon notices your staring, he doesn't say anything about it. You're thankful for that, although the silence kills you both. But you're almost back to your house. It won't be unbearable for much longer.

Dongheon pulls into your driveway like he's done so many times before. You're used to being mid-conversation with him and stalling in the car until it's done. This time, it feels like Dongheon can't wait until you're out of his car.

"I can't do it," you say suddenly, hand on the door handle, already halfway through opening it. You're not sure where you got the courage or the brazenness. Perhaps you should just go inside.

"What?" Your friend clearly has no idea what you're referring to.

"I can't forget about it or pretend it never happened."

His eyes glance at you quickly, first in confusion then realization. You watch him swallow and try not to regret the decision to bring it up again. It would have been easier to just pretend it never happened than to run straight into uncharted territory. You could have ended this night early before you embarrassed yourself further. Yet, here you are. It's too late to decide otherwise.

You're fully prepared for him to get upset, or at least shut down all possible hints of what you're implying. Instead, you watch as his lips fight to turn into a smirk, as if he's suppressing a laugh, entirely amused at your confession.

"It wasn't even my best work," he says. This time he can't hold back his smile anymore, and he turns to you, grin on full display. It's your turn to be stunned with confusement. "You caught me by surprise. I wasn't prepared."

You try to parse his words, convinced he really is talking about what you think he is. There's no way. You're just being hopeful and stupid again.

Yet he leans forward across the centre console with enough confidence to make you doubt everything. Then he kisses you again.

And, oh. This is different.

There's no clumsy confusion or rushed scrambling to kiss you back in the moment. Instead, it's slow and careful and dizzyingly passionate. He's leading it, leaving you a mess as you try to keep up. With him in control, it's perfect. More than perfect. He knows exactly how to hold you, what pace to go, when to pull back slightly so you chase him again. You never want it to end, so when he finally does pull back entirely, you whine and try to taste his lips again.

He laughs; endeared and soft. You open your eyes, breathless as you realize you're still leaning across the seat to be closer to him.

"How was it?" he asks cockily, already knowing that he just sent your brain spinning without any coherent thoughts. You're not used to finding his confidence so… attractive. You fight to find the words to respond.

"I didn't know you could kiss like that," you admit quietly. That causes Dongheon's smile to grow even more. Now that he's grinning the same dorky way you know him best for, you start to feel more at ease. This is the same Dongheon you've known for five years. Unserious, silly, extremely lovable, the easiest person to talk to, and now you can add the best kisser in existence to the list.

"I didn't know you wanted me to kiss you." Dongheon's words seem a little shy, even though he's still smiling like its the best day of his life.

"I didn't either." You can't quite make eye-contact with him. Reality is still hitting you in waves, but you've gotten over the initial shock. Dongheon doesn't seem satisfied with this, though. He uses his index finger under your chin to turn your face back to his. You might as well be putty in his hands.

"I like you," he confesses, words muttered in between smiles. You think you'll remember the way he's looking at you now for the rest of your life. You would give him a proper response if you weren't so desperate to kiss him again. He understands your answer either way. Somehow, each kiss is better than the last.

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