sunshine
synopsis - bucky’s therapist tells him to get out of the house more and he meets the human embodiment of sunshine.
warnings - smut, tooth rotting fluff, dom/sub dynamics, oral male & female receiving, spanking unprotected sex, mentions of PTSD, pet names, bucky struggling with his mental health
a/n - i really left yall hanging for MONTHS. if you read this at all i am thankful because if i was my own reader i would ignore this post out of spite lol. critiques are welcome since I haven’t written in so long. replies, reblogs, & likes are appreciated!! :)
masterlist
wc: 5k ish
The rain outside pelted against Bucky’s leather jacket loudly. He groaned and stepped into a nearby library to escape the less than ideal weather. He welcomed the warmth that enveloped him.
He looked around for a moment, it seemed like he was the only person in here. Stepping into the dark library felt like switching dimensions in comparison to the loud bustling streets of New York, add in the incessant rain and it was a nightmare out there in the real world.
Bucky wiped his feet on the rug before stepping fully inside the library. He didn’t have anywhere to be, he was really only out because his therapist thought he was getting a bit too comfortable in isolation. Of course, that was true, however, he still despised having to interact with innocent people he had the potential to hurt.
The library was dimly lit and had books from floor to ceiling. There were even miscellaneous piles of books scattered around his feet on the floor. All of the colors that surrounded him were neutrals but they felt so comforting and inviting. The library he stepped into was cozy and he had no qualms about being trapped here while the rain poured outside.
Deciding to make the most of his time, Bucky walked toward the nonfiction section. He loved reading books that had anything pertaining to the military, it was something that had stuck with him through his childhood and into adulthood. He slipped into the narrow aisle and scanned down the shelves.
His fingers gently grazed the spines of the aging books in front of him. Bucky was slowly relaxing into the silence that the library provided for him.
His apartment wasn’t the safe haven to him that it once was, it was now a place haunted by the nightmares that were slowly consuming him. Here in the library though, his demons couldn’t find him.
“Excuse me, sir,” a small voice said apologetically as they squeezed by him.
Bucky moved his focus from the books in front of him to the woman that was now browsing right next to him. She had her long light brown hair flowing down her back and a bit messy from the rain. The skirt she was wearing was black and entirely too short for the weather they were currently having, but the cream sweater with the Polo logo on it somewhat made up for the shortcomings of her skirt.
Bucky’s first thought was His apartment wasn’t the safe haven to him that it once was, it was now a place haunted by the nightmares that were slowly consuming him. Here in the library though, his demons couldn’t find him.
“Excuse me, sir,” a small voice said apologetically as they squeezed by him.
Bucky moved his focus from the books in front of him to the woman that was now browsing right next to him. She had her long light brown hair flowing down her back and a bit messy from the rain. The skirt she was wearing was black and entirely too short for the weather they were currently having, but the cream sweater with the Polo logo on it somewhat made up for the shortcomings of her skirt.
He moved his attention away from the doe-eyed girl that was a little too close to him and refocused on the combat books in front of him. Funnily enough, the books about violence were distracting him from his fears of violence.
It took a few moments, but Bucky’s anxiety slowly trickled off until it was nothing but a dull ache in his chest.
That was until the pretty girl smiled at him, “Hi.”
Her tone was warm and kind and she was obviously inviting Bucky to have a conversation with her while they shared the aisle of old books so intimately.
His eyes widened slightly but he quickly took his composure back from the perfect girl in front of him that seemed to be stealing it.
“Hey,” he almost cringed as soon as he said it. His voice was much too rough in comparison to the gentle tone she was using to speak to him.
“Do you read a lot of nonfiction?” Her head cocked cutely to the side which made his heart beat a little faster.
“On the rare occasion I pick up a book, yes,” he answered after a beat of silence. He was mentally high fiving himself at such a collected response considering the effect she was having on him.
“I’m grabbing some of the old medical journals for some of my writing,” she answered the question without being prompted.
“What do you write?”
“I mostly do romance but my latest idea has been murder-mystery.”
“Oh, so you’re a novelist?” Bucky was beginning to feel more comfortable with the conversation now. The girl in front of him now felt like a breath of fresh air rather than a suffocating hand around his throat.
“Not exactly a superhero, but it pays the bills,” her smile was infectious and Bucky couldn’t help but grin.
“What’s your name?” He leaned back against the shelf behind him.
“I’m Amelia. But most of my friends call me Milly,” she answered him without breaking her gaze.
Amelia was very confident it seemed. But, not in a cocky way, her confidence was kindness. She radiated an energy that could only be described as pure gold.
“I’m Bucky,” he told her.
“I know. I saw you on the news last night, you save the world a lot it seems.”
Her comment made the tip of his ears burn red, “I guess you could say that.”
“Don’t be so modest. I think it’s cool, you’re like a real life comic book character,” her flattery was like ten arrows pointed straight at Bucky’s anxiety, slowly dwindling it down to a tiny stump that sat in the base of his stomach instead of the huge tree that once took over his entire body.
“You’re acting like you don’t have the coolest job in the world,” he rolled his eyes playfully at her, “You’re the one who gets to make the comic book characters.”
Their conversation continued and they slowly migrated over to the leather chairs in the corner of the room. They sat down next to each other and he told her his war stories while she took little sips of her coffee.
Every small movement she made, every little flip of her hair, all of her crossing and uncrossing of her legs, enticed Bucky even further into her spell.
“I love the rain,” Amelia said to him after he complained about the horrific weather, “It’s so pretty and calming.”
It confused him how she could find violent thunderstorms calming.
“The only reason I even walked into this library was to get away from the mess outside,” he replied back while looking through one of the windows to see that the precipitation had slowed down to a gentle mist now.
“Well if there was no rain, you would’ve never met me,” she smiled at him.
They had been talking for at least two hours by this point, but it felt like only twenty minutes. Everything was so easy with Milly. Conversation was like an ever flowing river with her, it just was so smooth and easy.
All he could feel was her energy, not the pain of his past, just her. For two hours, what happened to him fifty years ago was just that, the past.
She was pure light. She radiated warmth, she was what made flowers grow, she was what supported life on Earth, she was the sunshine.
Bucky looked down to check his watch and noticed the time. His eyes widened a little bit and he glanced back up at Milly who was happily chatting about her cats Moose and Sushi.
“Am I talking too much?” She suddenly stopped and looked down at her lap shyly.
“No! Of course not,” he quickly reassured her, “It’s just, it’s getting late.”
“Oh,” she said, a little disheartened he was finished talking to her.
“How about dinner?” Bucky didn’t even think about what he was saying until it was out of his mouth. It was very spur of the moment and he wish he could go back in time and think about the consequences that might come of taking her out.
“Dinner?” She repeated back as if she hadn’t heard him.
“Yeah, I know this great Thai place a few blocks down,” he smiled at her trying to tamper down his own racing thoughts.
Her pale pink nails clicked against the now empty coffee cup in her hand as she thought, “That sounds great.”
The pair stood up and Bucky took notice of the cloudy sky no longer pouring rain. He almost smiled at the thought of how long they had been talking. Not one notion of violence or hurting her had crossed his mangled brain.
They stepped out of the library and into the street. Without thinking, Bucky grabbed her hand and guided her down the street.
Milly hoped he didn’t notice the pink tint on her cheeks and trembling hands.
The duo were both lost in their own thoughts about one another and walked in silence while the world around them moved at an impossible pace.
Bucky stopped at a door on the corner of the street that Milly had always assumed was abandoned.
“I’ve never been here before,” she commented to him as he opened the door for her.
“I don’t know many people who have,” he chuckled.
No one greeted them but that didn’t seem to bother Bucky who led her to a booth in the corner without any guidance from the staff.
Milly slipped into the booth first and Bucky very surprisingly sat on the same side she did.
Bucky was testing himself. He wanted to see how far he could go without any thoughts or flashbacks to the life he used to live.
Their shoulders touched and he basked in the warmth she brought him, both physically and metaphorically.
He looked down at her and she was trapped in his unwavering gaze. Her lips parted and Bucky’s heart hammered loudly in his chest. They didn’t speak, they just drank each other in like sweet wine.
“Can I take your order?” A woman with a thick British accent interrupted them.
Bucky’s head whipped around and Milly was ripped from her trance with him. Their picture perfect bubble had burst.
He cleared his throat quickly, “Sorry, um, yes I think we’ll both have the chicken pad thai and some water.”
The waitress chewed her gum loudly while writing down the order and Bucky offered her a small smile.
“Sorry, I just sort of guessed on what you would want,” Bucky said almost sheepishly.
“I like chicken pad thai,” Amelia responded back with a smile.
He locked eyes with her again, “Do you think you want to do this again tomorrow?”
She laughed cutely at him, “We aren’t even done with today.”
“I think it’s gonna go well.”
His confidence almost shocked her. All day it felt like he was walking on eggshells but now she felt like she was getting all of him, not just the parts he felt like showing. The thought made her stomach flutter.
Their meal went on with lots of flirtation. Knees touching and hushed giggles were like their own secret language.
When the bill came Bucky deflated. He wasn’t ready to give up the sunshine yet.
He put his card down and the waitress came back with the receipt far too quickly. Bucky felt his time with her winding down and coming to an end.
“Hey,” he blurted out, “Do you want to come to the tower with me?”
“What tower? Like the Empire State Building?”
“The Avenger’s Tower.”
Amelia’s eyes widened, “Are people even allowed in there?”
Bucky’s heart stopping smile appeared once again, “Of course, and now you have an invitation.”
“I don’t want to get you in trouble,” she frowned.
“I won’t get in trouble. Tony’s not even in town this week. I think Steve’s the only person there.”
“It sounds like we would be breaking the rules,” she quirked an eyebrow at him.
He laughed, “It makes it more fun.”
She sighed, “As long as we don’t get caught. I really don’t want to be in trouble with the most powerful men in New York.”
He smiled, “You could never be in trouble with me, doll.”
Amelia could’ve passed out. The dominance that oozed from just that sentence made her head fuzzy and knees weak.
She tried to play it off by rolling her eyes and he laughed again.
Bucky stood up from the booth and reached his hand towards her.
“This time we can take a car to the Tower. It’s probably unbearably cold outside, especially with that skirt on.”
“I’m wearing fleece lined stockings,” she defended.
He tried his hardest to not daydream about what was underneath those stockings.
The pair walked into the windy night of New York. The rain had returned as a mist that made the horizon hazy and gray.
Bucky tucked his dog tags into his long sleeve shirt. Similarly to him, Amelia was struggling not wondering what else he could do with his hands.
A car pulled up to the sidewalk and the two quickly got in.
Bucky brushed some stray rain droplets from his hair and she jumped back and giggled when they landed on her face.
She looked up at him through her eyelashes and he silently wondered how he was going to get through the rest of the night without grabbing her by the neck and kissing the hell out of her.
She smiled up at his now serious and poked his cheek.
“You’re so cute,” he said after she finished her laughing fit.
Her cheeks reddened and her nose scrunched. She really was perfect.
The traffic wasn’t as horrendous as Bucky expected and they made it to the Tower quicker than he thought they would.
She was enamored by the bright lights of the Tower. The glow from the building reflected in her brown eyes like dazzling stars.
“C’mon,” he interrupted her gawking, “I’ll show you around.”
Bucky escorted her out of the SUV and to the front of the building. He remembered feelings just like she did when Steve first brought him here, impossibly small.
“Let’s go in. I promise it’s much more impressive from the inside,” Bucky said to her.
“Are you sure this is allowed?” Milly asked one last time before they went in.
“If I say no will you still come in with me?”
“Bucky,” she whined, “Please don’t get me into any trouble.”
The pout on her lips sent his mind into overdrive. She made it hard for him to form sentences sometimes.
“I won’t,” he regained his composure, “It’ll be fun and if it’s not I’ll take you right back home.”
She begrudgingly agreed and they walked into the glamorous building.
Reinforced glass walls surrounded them and a few employees strolled by without a second glance at her.
“Wow, it’s really pretty in here,” Milly breathed out.
“It’s definitely not the tax bracket I grew up in,” Bucky chuckled.
“Do you guys live here?”
Amelia knew she was being nosy and almost immediately regretted asking. Bucky however didn’t bat an eye and answered her quickly.
“I share a floor with Steve on one of the top levels and Nat sometimes stays here, but that’s it.”
“You have your own coffee shop,” she said pointing to the 24/7 coffee cart situated in the lobby.
“It’s incredibly convenient,” he chuckled, “Do you want to see the upstairs?”
His cheeks turned red, he didn’t want her to have the wrong impression of him. Bucky didn’t want to have some one night stand with her, although he wasn’t opposed to taking her up there and fucking her stupid.
“Sure. What floor are you on?” She asked while walking toward the elevator. Amelia didn’t even catch the innuendo.
“Floor 8,” he stepped on the elevator, “Let me put in the stupid passcode.”
He punched in four digits and rolled his eyes, “Tony is way too serious about security.”
The ride up was quick and relatively quiet. When the doors opened to Bucky’s penthouse suite she audibly gasped.
“Wow. You live here?” Her tone was practically incredulous.
“Have for 3 years now, sweetheart.”
The room was mostly decorated with neutrals except for some artwork on the wall.
Bucky noticed her eyeing it and offered an explanation, “That’s Steve’s contribution, he loves to paint.”
“It’s beautiful here. I would be scared out of my mind to even cook in a kitchen as perfect as this one,” she eyeballed the million dollar penthouse.
“I’ll use that as my excuse the next time Tony scolds us for not eating at home enough,” Bucky joked.
Amelia turned her attention back to him, “Did you say Steve was home earlier?”
“Let me check, he might’ve gone out with Natasha,” he said while walking out of the room and calling out for his flatmate.
When he figured out Steve wasn’t actually home as he originally thought he leaned against the wall. He had barely any time to process that there was a beautiful woman in his apartment. A beautiful woman that he wasn’t scared of harming. Someone who took all of those bad thoughts away from him.
Bucky had never felt this way before. It was the first time in a long time he wasn’t scared of himself.
He sighed in relief at the feeling of not having to worry. It felt like he had just finished the marathon of his life and finally got to sit down when he was around her.
After taking a couple of seconds to process he walked back into the living room to see her sitting on the couch looking at the view of the city.
The wall was glass and it made for a beautiful backdrop in their home. Especially tonight, when the stormy clouds parted just enough to see the full moon.
He went to the kitchen quietly as to not disturb her and grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses.
Bucky took a deep breath and strolled towards the couch and sat down. He placed the wine glasses on the table in front of them.
“It’s beautiful out there isn’t it?” She commented.
“Yeah, it’s perfect,” he said, staring at the side of her face.
“I brought some wine if you want any,” Bucky offered while pouring his own glass.
“No thank you, I hate the taste of wine,” she scrunched her nose again.
“I can grab some water or juice for you,” he offered quickly. He felt like a terrible host.
“No, that’s okay,” she finally turned her body towards his.
His breath stopped when he saw her brown eyes gazing into his own. Bucky didn’t even think about it when his hand touched the right side of her neck and he leaned down to kiss her.
She reciprocated quickly and grabbed the bottom of his shirt in her fist as if she didn’t know what to do with her hands.
Their lips moved against each other for a few seconds before he slipped his tongue in her mouth. She sighed into him and pressed herself closer to him.
Bucky picked up her smaller frame and placed her in his lap without breaking the kiss.
Millie straddled him and grabbed the short hair at the base of his neck.
“Fuck, Amelia,” he breathed out when he pulled away.
Her sweet giggle filled the room as their foreheads touched and their chests heaved in unison.
“You're really good at that,” she said, still out of breath.
He chuckled at her, “I wanted to kiss you all night. It’s a surprise I’ve made it this far.”
“Are you gonna stop now?” Milly tilted her head and pouted her lips.
Bucky threw his back and cursed, “You’re making it very hard to be a gentleman right now.”
Amelia kissed a hickey on his neck and leaned in next to his ear, “I’m not asking you to be a gentleman, Bucky.”
It felt like all of the resolve he had left in his body had snapped and he wrapped his calloused hand around the soft skin on her neck. He squeezed the sides of her throat and watched as her eyes took on a glimmer he hadn’t seen before.
Milly challenged him with a smile he wasn’t expecting, “How did you know just what I liked?”
“I never pinned you for a girl who liked to be thrown around,” Bucky’s eyebrow lifted in surprise but the grin remained on his face.
“I never pinned you for a guy who liked to throw girls around,” she returned his smile.
Even with his hand wrapped around the delicate skin of her neck he wasn’t scared of hurting her. Bucky felt fully in control for the first time in a long time.
“Safe word is red, baby.” Bucky smirked after a beat of silence
His hand tightened around her throat once again and he kissed her. Amelia’s hips grinded down against his lap.
Her short skirt slowly started to ride up until Bucky’s hands found the hem and pushed it all the way up.
His hands wandered down from her neck to her hips. Bucky moved her against him. He felt his pants tightening to accommodate how hard he was.
Amelia pulled away from the kiss and leaned her head against his chest as he continued to move her hips against his own. All that could be heard were her shaky moans and the sounds of bucky sucking a trail of hickeys down her neck.
“Not so confident now, huh baby?” He taunted her when he felt her thighs shaking around him.
“Please stop teasing me,” she begged with her eyes squeezed shut.
“Aw, but you look so cute squirming on my lap,” he mocked her.
Gone was Bucky’s almost shy demeanor, now he was domineering and arrogant.
Amelia could feel herself getting wetter by the second, “Please, Bucky. Please fuck me.”
“Only because you sound so sweet when you beg.”
Bucky moved her and stood up from his position on the couch. He took his black shirt off and let it fall to the ground.
He almost groaned when he saw her look up at him from underneath her lashes. Her eyes were full of want and it made his chest hurt.
Amelia stood up from the couch and then dropped to her knees and looked up at him with a cute smile.
“Fuck, not as innocent as you seem huh?” He chided while she ran her hands up and down his jean clad thighs.
Her fingers ran across the prominent bulge a couple of times before she began to unbuckle his belt.
Bucky could tell she was reciprocating his teasing from before and teasing him.
She gentle pulled his boxers off and let his cock stand proudly in front of her.
Milly inhaled deeply and tried to keep her confidence from before as she stroked him gently. Before she put her mouth around Bucky she looked up at him and he gave her a small reassuring smile.
That gave her all the confidence she needed to take his length down her throat. She bobbed her head up and down until her eyes watered and mascara trailed down her flushed cheeks.
Bucky groaned out loud, “Jesus fucking Christ Milly. You look so fucking pretty with my cock down your throat and tears in your eyes.”
Amelia sucked hard on Bucky’s length and his hands found their way into her thick brown hair.
She stopped moving and looked up at him expectantly.
His jaw almost dropped when he realized she was waiting for him to fuck her face. She had to be created in a lab or something. There was no way she was that perfect for him.
Bucky’s hands gripped harder into her hair and he started to fuck her mouth.
He felt himself getting closer and closer as he fucked her mouth at a sinful pace. Bucky took her off his cock and Milly frowned.
“I want you to come down my throat,” she pouted.
Fuck, she feels like the answers to all of life’s problems.
“Not tonight. Tonight, I’m gonna cum inside you,” he said pulling her up from her knees.
“Take off the rest of your clothes.”
She stood there for a moment without moving.
“Now, Amelia. Don’t make me ask again,” he warned.
This made her strip off her sweater and her ripped tights. She unzipped her skirt quickly and looked back to Bucky for instruction.
“God, you’re so gorgeous,” Bucky praised her and cupped her cheek.
His words were so kind and reminded her of the way he was earlier in the night. Amelia wasn’t sure which side of him she preferred, the domineering and brash Bucky or the kind and soft spoken Bucky.
She took a step towards his hulking frame and ran her hands over his abdomen. She felt his taught muscles twitch underneath her wandering fingers as he kissed her again.
He maneuvered her back onto the couch where they previously were and perched her body on his lap without taking his lips off of hers.
Bucky broke the kiss and whispered gruffly, “Over my lap.”
Amelia could tell by his tone that it wasn’t request. She shivered at the dominance he displayed and did what he said quickly.
Bucky ran his his large palm over the tan skin of her Milly’s ass and had to stifle a moan. Her body was a fucking masterpiece.
Amelia could feel his hard on pressing into her middle and she wanted nothing more for him to be inside her.
Without warning his hand came down harshly on the sensitive skin of her ass.
She gasped when she felt him spank her. She rubbed her thighs together at the feeling of the sharp pain.
Bucky took notice of this, “A painslut too? Very cute.”
Milly’s face turned pink at the name but she couldn’t deny that it made her feel that much more turned on.
Bucky gave her a few more before finally ending her anticipation and reaching down in between her legs.
She almost sighed in relief when his hand glided over her folds. Bucky rubbed small circles over her clit. His fingers went between her dripping hole and up to her clit torturously. All she wanted was for him to be inside her, in any way possible.
He was rewarded for his efforts with her cute moans egging him on. Finally, he slipped a finger into her and she gripped his thigh hard, surely leaving marks where her fingernails were digging into his skin.
He pumped in and out of her heat at a pace that made her eyes roll into the back of her head. He had a second finger and curled his fingers right into the spot that made her see stars.
Her pants were audible, “Please, Bucky! I’m about to cum.”
As soon as she said it his pulled his fingers out of her. She whined at the loss of contact and sat up from her position over his lap.
“Bucky, please!” She whined hopelessly.
“Don’t be such a brat, you’re gonna cum tonight,” he rolled his eyes at her.
Milly pouted up at his handsome face. Before she could say anything else she was being scooped up into his arms and trotted off somewhere.
“Where are we going?” The whine in her voice was still there.
“My bedroom,” he responded in a short manner.
Bucky opened the door to his bedroom and threw Amelia on the grey duvet of his bed.
She didn’t even get a chance to look around before he was once again on top of her kissing her.
Milly squirmed underneath him and let out helpless moans.
Bucky pulled away and let out a mocking laugh, “You’re so desperate for my cock huh? How did I find such a perfect cockwhore?”
Amelia wanted to cry at how badly she wanted him. It felt like she had been teased for millenniums.
Bucky ran the tip of his length through her folds to get her even more worked up.
“Please!” Tears clouded her vision.
The sight of her crying for him to fuck her was enough to send Bucky into a spiral. He finally pushed into her heat.
He threw his head back and they let out simultaneous moans. He slowly started to pump into her velvet walls.
“Fuck, it’s like you were made for me, baby.”
Amelia couldn’t form words all she could do was whimper and clutch onto his sheets as he pounded her into his mattress.
Bucky grabbed her leg and threw it over his shoulder and watched as her mouth opened into a silent scream at the new angle. He smirked as he fucked into her, he knew she was close.
“I’m gonna cum,” she panted out at him as she arched her back up into him.
He grabbed the headboard and set a brutal pace when he felt her tighten around him. Bucky was sure this was what heaven felt like.
He felt her constrict around him even tighter and arch her body into his own. Her moans came to a crescendo and she came undone around his cock.
Bucky squeezed his eyes shut. Feeling her cum around him was his final straw and he released inside of her.
Feeling him cum inside her made Amelia preen. They stayed connected for a moment before he pulled out of her and laid next to her panting body.
She turned toward him and pressed her head into his chest. Bucky kissed the crown of her head and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled her body closer to his.
“Was that okay?”
“It was perfect, Bucky.”
