#doawk greg

He was taking it everyday.

He falls asleep on your shoulder, and to wake him up you have to give him an hard shake.

Like really hard.

If you buy him a good eyeliner and a good makeup remover, he’s gonna be the happiest man alive.

He never really takes off his makeup

And he ends up looking like a panda

So you saved his life.

Nap dates!

At school, he sleeps, stares at you, and writes some lyrics for his band.

He doesn’t really listens

Because he knows you’re gonna explain everything to him after school.

Doesn’t know how to read the room.

Rodrick has to look cool, so he can’t show to anyone how smitten for you he actually is.

Especially in front of his family.

Will ask you to do his makeup, only if he notices that you wear it everyday

And that didn’t happen soon

(He’s a bit slow)

He thought you were only gonna do his eyeliner

But then you show up at his house with all your makeup products

And he’s forced to put all those things on his skin.

Will complain a lot about the foundation

And you definitely will poke his eye with both the eyeliner and the mascara.

after Heather's birthday (iykyk) he went back home in shame and cried

as his best friend, you had to comfort him

and after that, he noticed how much you take care of him

like…always

things that he never gave importance to

and he started liking you

fuck Heather (real 😔), there was you

now he was around you even more

calling you late at night

he confessed on the phone because he was too shy

(but you accepted anyway)

and the morning after, he came to pick you up

(his cheeks were so red)

you gave him a kiss on the cheek instead of the usual small hug

and he melted

you didn't really really talk to him at school, but then confronted him about it

and you made official your relationship

at first you didn't tell anyone

(even if it was obvious)

but then Greg saw you two all snuggled up in his bed

and he told his mom just to spite Rodrick

————————————

and from there the whole world knew.

rodrick heffley and gn!jefferson!reader

warnings : not proofread, cussing, i have never read diary of a whimpy kid so all of this is (sort of) based from the movies, use of y/n, english not being my first language, i'm actually not good at writing the stories in my blogs are just me experimenting

rowley jefferson and greg heffley are pretty much two peads in a pod. wherever greg goes, rowley will follow. normally that wouldn't bother rodrick much, he rarely even spends time with greg, much less rowley, he's too focused on löded diper. so when his parents suddenly announce that they are going to a "relaxing" getaway and they agreed for greg and rodrick to stay at the jeffersons house, greg was thrilled, rowley always stays at his house but he never stayed at rowleys but rodrick was not happy at all.

rodricks and gregs parents were all set to go, they had put all their suitcases and stuff in their trunk, they all said their goodbyes when rodrick asked, "do i have to stay at the jeffersons too? i-i'm 17! i can handle myself". rodricks dad sighed, "yes rodrick, you have to stay there too, don't worry, rowley has an older sibling so you don't have to watch over greg and rowley all by yourself!" his dad tried to make light of the situation but from the looks he got.... it was clear it didn't work, "yeah okay, let's go" his mom said before waving them goodbye.

greg and rodrick are walking to rowleys house with their bag slung over their shoulders, greg clearly being more excited, "rowley has an older sibling tho... maybe you two will get along" greg said, obviously trying to tease rodrick, unfortunately rodrick didn't give a fuck. he has seen both of rowleys mom and dad, he can't imagine rowleys older sibling would be diffrent.

after a while they finally arrived, "you knock." greg simply said, rodrick rolled his eyes "yeah right, rowleys your friend dimwit" greg sighed and knocked on the jeffersons household door, after a few moments rowley opened the door and invited greg in... and of course rodrick. rowley and greg wasted no time and immidietly ran to rowleys room to do... kid stuff? well, rodrick didn't care, he just needs to make sure they don't die right?

rodrick walked around the jefferson household, there were a lot of pictures, drawings... it looked like a perfect house... for a kid. a kid like rowley. it was too clean, too motivational, too- "you're gregs brother right?" rodrick turned around to see you. "damn..." he muttered to himself, "i- i'm rodrick- rodrick heffley! drummer of lö- löded diper!" oh god why is he stuttering?! he's totally embarrassing himself in front of a hotty. "i'm y/n" "y/n! yeah, hi. uhh- you must be rowleys..." he tried to think of something while pointing finger guns at you... for some reason, you can't be rowleys older sibling, you look nothing like him! "i'm rowleys older sibling" rodricks eyes went wide for a moment before he managed to control his facial expression, can't let a hoty know he's a loser- okay well he isn't but... we all know he kind of is. "rowleys... older sibling?" he still can't believe it, how can someone like rowley have an older sibling like... you? "well... we should talk about older sibling stuff... r-right?" rodrick was desperately trying to find a topic so you two can talk, but unfortunately that's the best he could think of. "uhm... sure? lets sit" you invited him to sit on the couch and rodrick seemed to be fighting with himself on whether he should sit closer to you or not. "y-you know i never seen you before..." rodrick spoke up first, "i've never seen you either" you countered. yes you're little brothers are best friends, but your dad quite dislikes the heffley family, saying that it's a bad influence to rowley, that's probably why you two never seen eachother.

after some more awkward conversations, rowley came downstairs, "i'm hungry..." rowley said, with greg appearing behind him. "think mom left some lasagna, can you please help check the fridge, rowley?" you asked and rowley obliged. rodrick and greg seemed... surprise? you and rowley weren't constantly fighting like them, rodrick smirked a bit to greg, clearly a lightbolb turning on, but when he looked back at you to say something sarcastic, the words got caught in his throat.

rowley didn't only check if the lasagna was there but also heated it up in the microwave, "oh? thanks rowley" you told him as he walked to greg to invite him to the dining room, unfortunately you didn't trust him much yet with those things so you excused yourself, when you walked to the kitchen you saw how he set the microwave timer to 20 minutes. you looked back at rowley and sighned, you changed the timer to an apropiate time.

you walked back to rodrick who was still sitting on the couch and invited him to sit in the dining room, he reluctantly obliged, but when he arrived there, he was a bit confused on where he should sit, 2 more seat options left, maybe it was obvious, maybe he was supposed to sit near greg because well... you would prefer to sit near rowley right? but what if you didn't actually want to sit near rowley? what if you purposely try to avoid rowley because he's an annoying duffus? maybe- "why haven't you taken a seat yet?" he heard your voice, "well- uhm- i was..." they all waited for him to continue but he decided it's best to just sit beside greg, you laughed a little.

after a few minutes the microwave timer went off and you pulled out the lasagna from the microwave and set it on the dining table with rowley helping you set the table. you excused yourself for a while to go to the bathroom, and when you came back, the lasagna was almost gone with a tiny piece left for you. you sat beside rowley, confused. "wheres the rest...?" you asked obviously and the heffleys just looked at you with awkward grins. "y-you can have some of mine!" rowley slices his piece in half to offer it to you, "no- you can have mine, it's okay" rodrick interjected and sliced his piece too, rowley was about to say something before rodrick shut him up, "it's okay, really!" rodrick was about to slide his piece to your plate but- "i'm fine, don't worry, don't worry. this piece is enough for me" you told them as you took the last piece of lasagna.

a few hours later, it was bedtime for greg and rowley... well it's also supposed to be bedtime for you two but you guys are old enough to not follow bedtime hours, that's for kids right? it was sort of easy convincing the two peas in a pod to sleep... or well go to rowleys bedroom. they promised they'll immediately sleep but it was obvious they were still playing, you just didn't wanna interrupt your brother and his best friend.

you went back to the living room to see rodrick just... being there? since he went into the jefferson household he didn't really know what to do, his initial thought about pranking his little brother and his best friend was ruined because he needed to get the best first impression from you. "you can sleep in the guest room by the way" you told him while pointing to the direction of the guest room, "the couch isn't really comfortable" you joked a bit, trying to make him less... tense. "oh- yeah. yeah i-i'm- i'm gonna go there. yeah. uh. bye?" rodrick tried to act cool and it was backfiring, but at least it made you laugh... yeah maybe he would rather have you laughing with him than at him but this is a start, right? you gave him a simple wave as he walked to the guest room. when he opened the door and saw that soft bed he threw himself on it. "did i make a fool of myself?" he muttered to himself and scoffed, "nah" he convinced himself and immediately fell asleep.

i tried to avoid making it a romance cause well... i'm bad at writing those, sorry ya'll

Fuck Jessica’s bitchy ass.

You have lifeguard duties tomorrow and you can’t sleep. You’ve been staring at your ceiling for a while now, thinking about the encounter you had with Jessica at the parking lot.

‘..once Rodrick finds someone prettier and better than you, he'd leave you..’

Surely, Rodricks not like that…right?

You’ve grown to know Rodrick along your silly spontaneous hangouts (a.k.a dates) and he was far from what Jessica had told you. Unless, it was all a facade.

You sat up straight, letting out an annoyed squeal as you ruffled your hair, “Don’t let it get to your head, Y/N. She’s just messing with your mind.”

You took a deep breath and calmed yourself. You reached out to turn off your lamp.

Tomorrow’s gonna be a dreadful shift.

🛟

Absolutely dreadful.

“Why the fuck am I always on the same shift as this girl..?” You whispered to yourself, taking a deep breath and massaged your temples as you watched Heather argue with a kid.

You have been trying to interrupt their bickering before it escalated any further but all your attempts ended in vain, leaving you standing there stressed with a frown etched on your face.

Whenever you and Heather was on the same lifeguard shift at the country club, your dynamic was always good cop, bad cop—or in this case, good lifeguard, bad lifeguard. And from the scene unfolding right now, I guess you could tell which is which.

“Y/N!”

Your frown dissipated into a confused expression as you heard a voice screaming your name and it oddly sounds like Rodrick. You felt like you were going crazy from all the stress until you heard him scream your name again, pleading for help this time.

You looked around in confusion, going wide eyed as you saw Rodrick in the pool…drowning?

“How the fuck?” You quickly approached the 5-foot pool and was about to get him out of there but a man on his 40’s beat you to it. You halted on your steps as you watched Rodrick get picked up and placed down on the poolside.

You gasped and let out an amused laugh as the man gave Rodrick an unnecessary mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, “Oh my god..”

Ew..

Rodrick let out a cry, wiping his mouth. Good choice, Rodrick. You just got kissed by an old man in front of Y/N.

You approached Rodrick as he stared, rather lifelessly, at the sky. You suppressed a giggle as you crouched down to face him, “You okay?”

Rodrick only managed to let out a sluggish nod.

“Aw, you poor thing,” You now let out your giggle and helped him stand up, “c’mon i’ll treat you sandwiches you poor baby”

You slightly felt pity towards Rodrick when you saw how he ate his sandwich while staring into the abyss. That was the first time you saw him eat his snacks so depressingly.

"Ugh, he's such a weirdo."

“Huh? Who?”

Heather got down from her tall chair and stood beside you with her arms crossed, nodding towards Rodrick, who was still agonizingly eating his sandwich, “Him.”

“Rodrick Heffley..?”

“Yeah, him. He’s been following me since 7th grade and it’s honestly getting so creepy,” Heather shuddered, “I don’t even know how he got in here. Must’ve threatened your brother into sneaking him in or something.”

You only let out a hum as you curiously stared at the boy.

“Anyways, I’ll see you later by the cafe. The heat is killing me!” Heather walked away while fanning herself with her hand and headed towards the cafe.

Your eyes never left Rodrick as you managed a slight wave towards Heather, “Yeah..See you..”

So he likes Heather huh?

A bitter feeling crept up into your chest at the thought. You turned around, headed towards the cafe where Heather was. Unbeknownst to you, Rodrick was just about to greet you but he waved a little too late. His smile soon faded into defeatment while slowly putting his hand down, watching your retreating figure walk away.

You pushed open the cafe’s french doors, the bell alerting the staff as they greeted you.

You smiled back at them and plopped down across Heather, “Hey!”

“Finally!” Heather rolled her eyes and placed her flip phone on the table, “What took you so long?”

“Uhm..I, uhm, went to fetch some towels..?”

Heather’s eyebrows raised, a bored expression painted on her face, “Bullshit. You were probably too busy flirting with your boyfriend.”

“Wha–Who? Rodrick?” You blushed, you dismissively waves your hand and awkwardly laughed, “pfft, that’s impossi–“

“Didn’t mention a name though.” Heather smirked and sipped on her tea while looking outside.

“Right! Right…” You pursed your lips, clearing your throat, “He likes you though so I wouldn’t want to get in the way.”

Heather nearly spat out her tea and laughed at you like you just told her the most hilarious thing on earth, “Oh my god! C’mon Y/N, don’t play dumb on me now. He clearly much likes you now, he pretty much doesn’t hide it.”

“Well–“

Heather put her palm up, stopping you before you could say anything dumb and placed her teacup down, “One, I don’t like him. If that’s not still obvious, and two, even though he’s such a creepy weirdo, I very much wouldn’t mind if my friend liked him, too.”

You gave Heather a relieved smile as she picked her phone up once again, “I may be a bitch at times, Y/N, but I would never steal someone’s man.”

“Rodrick’s not my man!” You nervously chuckled, your eyes darting everywhere but Heather’s. Your voice lowered, “I mean, not yet at least y’know..”

Heather only laughed at you as she got busy on her phone, “Whatever”

authors’s note: sorry guys & gals im going through writer’s block rn 😭

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· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

"three days. no shower. smell the love!" exclaimed rodrick, shirt off with his younger brother's face wedged into his armpit.

greg wiggled out from under his arm, squeezing out a pathetic "let me go, rodrick!" before making his escape. he wiped his face clean as rodrick started to speak again.

"c'mon," he faux-whined, reaching to stick a q-tip in his ear. but he didn't make it far before another voice was heard as well as the creaking of the front door as someone announced their entry.

"greg! you eat yet? 'cause we gotta go kid!" m/n walked through the house, shouting out for the kid he had been baby sitting for the past 7-8 years.

greg sighed, thankful for his savior, "up here!"

sporting a pair of brown pants, he started climbing the stairs in a, red t and a blue plumbers-button up with his name in red cursive on the right side.

m/n greeted rodrick as he met his eyes, "y'know its, no shirt, no shoes, no service," he joked.

rodrick smiled and started speaking before m/n reached the top step.

"hey," he greeted back, before trying to act all 'nonchalant', "umm löded diper just finished that album you were helping me with. you know, if you were wondering..."

"sick, babe. you have a CD for me yet?" he smirked as he asked. rodrick lit up and started dragging m/n up to his room by the hand. m/n rolled his eyes and chuckled as greg mouthed a "thank you" to him and headed down stairs to eat while his ride was occupied.

rodrick's room was in the attic, meaning that it wasn't very well insulated. his room was hot from the summer sun (explaining rodrick's lack of clothing) and the smell was musky, but m/n had gotten used to this over the many years of hangouts and sleepovers.

"one sec," rodrick sighed out with his nose buried in a pile of CDs, "oh! here, look i signed it for you. that way when i'm famous, you have proof that you're not a poser."

"you think you're getting rid of me once you get famous?" m/n questioned rodrick, looking up at him and smirking, as he had been sitting on rodrick's bed while they spoke.

rodrick felt more naked than he already was with the look that m/n gave him, "i mean you'll probably be doing better things. i just figured you're laying low with your talent until manny grows up enough that you... don't need to baby sit him any more."

"what?" m/n laughed.

"well i just figured you'd move on once manny didn't technically need you anymore." rodrick said sheepishly, feeling small even though he was the one looking down at m/n.

m/n's eyes seemed to corner him in an open room, as he moved swiftly into a standing position, almost closing the distance between them.

he began speaking.

"you know i'm not trying to leave you anytime soon. i mean where would you be without me?" he teased jokingly, leading the conversation back to something more light-hearted as he headed for the stairs back down to the living room.

"i know," claimed rodrick as m/n stepped down.

walked down together, m/n in the lead, making it in time to hear greg start to complain.

"manny, stop it! mom!"

"thanks for the eggs mom."

"frank?"

"greg?"

greg's face held a look of disgust, "i think its gross and undignified that i have to eat breakfast next to him on the potty." his complain went without sympathy.

"okay, well its your fault he's still potty training," susan piped back.

"i was just joking with him," greg reasoned.

"okay. kiss him your sorry and then get a move on," she instructed, walking over to give greg a kiss on his head and a pat on the shoulder, "cant be late for your first day of school."

m/n finally spoke up, having something to say about the conversation at hand, "yeah we gotta go."

m/n had been driving the boys places since he was 16 and had offered to drive greg to school in susan's place. m/n walked over, placed a kiss on manny head while pushing up his bangs, and then helped clear greg's place at the table.

"lets go kid. classes wont wait, for freaks who are late."

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

in front of a simple suburban house, came a white van, smashing into garbage bins and blasting loud music. two young boys stood in front of the house, having just got home from their first day of middle school. coming to a stop, rodrick came tumbling out of the front seat of the löded diper, safety pin painted, death machine as m/n liked to call it.

"hey little brother! was your first day as crappy as i said it would be?" asked rodrick with two drumsticks in his hand and a high hat cymbal at his feet. his three other band mates started marching past him, up to the house, carrying most of the band equipment. (but they didn't make it past the already-opened front door)

"no. not at all. you were wrong," greg practically panted out, taking a step up to his older brother. "it was actually better than i-"

but his best friend cut him off, "worse."

rodrick laughed slightly before walking over with a look that was made to intimidate, "you didn't listen to me, did you? i told you not to talk, look or go anywhere, and what happened?"

greg was hesitant to speak so rowley stepped in, though unwanted, "he had to eat his lunch on the floor."

"rowley!"

"perfect," rodrick continued, not noticing the figure who had been standing in the door way since he had crashed in to his parking space. "and if nobody wants you sitting at their table, you think they want chummy buttons over here?" he questioned.

"i actually, clearly remember you coming home and whining about the same problem, drummer boy," the figure in the door way finally spoke up.

"hi m/n!" rowley yelled as he waved up to m/n who had manny on his hip and the whole band standing in the walk way, looking guilty.

"hello, gremlin," m/n said without breaking eye contact with rodrick.

"m/n!" rodrick yelled up to the man, "we were just-"

m/n cut him off, "go pick up those trash bins."

"yes sir!" he said, lips forming a line as he went and picked them up.

m/n let manny down, guiding him back inside the house as he himself, moved out of the door way. the rest of band walked into the house as m/n made his way down the stairs to help bring in a couple more speakers. the boys started walking up the steps as they started planning some minor revenge on rodrick.

"so how was school?" m/n asked, his arms flexing under his rolled up sleeves as he picked up two speakers by their handles.

rodrick walked back to pick up the rest of the equipment, making sure so be sneaky as he checked out the older man, "you know, ms. spradlin went on a couple rants about how much she loves the mongols, and mr. h cant stop talking about how you were the best writer to ever take his class."

they walked together up the steps, bumping shoulders and joking about how their mutual english teacher was too much of a fanboy.

"don't worry m/n, if you ever wrote a book, i would be your #1 reader. and that's really saying something"

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

"greg?"

"m/n, help!" greg shouted as he ran to his room. m/n had heard a slight bit of yelling (after rodrick had said he was running up to grab another drum stick) in the upper branches of the house so he set manny up with a couple toys and made his way up the stairs.

"oh-hohoho," rodrick choked out darkly, "you're gunna have to come out sometime, loser! i'll wait here, as long as it takes. and then," he sang the last part, "you're dead!"

m/n sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose, then asked, "what did they do?"

"hi m/n," rowley said as he walked past the man and started for the stairs

"hello, gremlin"

"bye m/n"

"goodbye, gremlin"

"do you know how many times i've told him to stop going in my room!" rodrick complained, trying to argue his side, still standing in front of the younger boy's door.

"greg, stop going in rodrick's room. you get caught every time," m/n said, not yet stopping rodrick.

"not every time!" greg yelled back.

"what!" rodrick yelled, greg having only made him more upset.

"you know what, i'm gunna let you two figure this out. don't kill each other."

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

"kid! did you shove mann- what the hell is happening in here!?!"

around 20 minutes later, yelling was coming from the bathroom and manny had walked out in just his underwear.

m/n had walked in, to see greg... peeing on rodrick.

rodrick looked over at him, disgust for the situation clear on his face, "greg started it, i was just trying to get revenge for my room!"

m/n turned to greg who just claimed, "he was gunna kill me!"

"so you pissed on his shirt? while he was wearing it???" m/n asked, exasperated.

greg fumbled with his words until rodrick just said "yes".

m/n forced greg to go clean up and help manny put pants on while he stood outside the bathroom, waiting for rodrick to strip down and give him his clothes to wash while rodrick showered.

the door cracked open and m/n let his eyes roll over the now, half-naked, in a towel, rodrick.

"uh, here you go," rodrick said handing over his clothes, making sure that the part that hadn't been peed on, was where m/n would grab. he already felt shy under the gaze of another, but the fact that is was m/n, just sent more feelings flying to his head... and maybe some other places.

"thanks babe," m/n glanced down one last time, and then turned to go put the laundry in the laundry machine. they both let a breath of air out as they each went their way.

"ughhh! one of these days, i swear."

"i know i'm older, but i'm not deaf," whispered m/n, rolling his eyes as he heard the shower turn on.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

"so, where are you freaks gunna be haunting?"

m/n sat in the heffley's, clad in red and black with horns, a tail, and dark, smudged eye make up. his hair was slicked with gel and in the breast pocket of the white button up he was wearing, was a deck of cards, while in back pockets held the outlines of a wallet and a pack of cigarettes.

it was around 7:30 when rowley had turned up at the heffley's house and m/n showed up around five minutes after. it was now 8, the sun had set 2 hours ago, and the boys were getting antsy to go.

"were gunna hit a few houses on the north side, which is where we'll do most of our trick-or-treating," greg started, showing you a map he had made, and tracing the path they would take with the plastic hook that came as an accessory for his costume.

but rowley, confused, asked, "why are we going all the way over there?"

"it's where the rich people live," greg sassed back. m/n let out a bark of laughter as greg explained how 'lavish' trick-or-treating in rich the neighborhood is.

"...plus, if we time it right, rich people get tired of answering their doors and just leave the bowl out. we can clean up!" greg finished.

m/n had been laughing through most of his explanation so he wasn't surprised when rodrick walked in, looking at him with puppy-dog eyes, asking 'what was so funny'.

m/n didn't really have time to reply before rowley READ HIM TO FILTH, "wow, you're lucky. my mom doesn't let me play with makeup anymore."

rodrick's eyes pushed into a glare, taking his attention off of m/n, who had been shocked away from his laughter, now howling out a low, "oooooooooo. you gunna take that?"

"shut up tool," rodrick snapped at rowley, moving away from the back of m/n's chair, where his knuckles had been turning white from how tight his grip was. grabbing a drink from the fridge, he continued, "loded diper's got a gig tonight."

rodrick stopped explaining himself to rowley and looked over to greg from his position behind m/n, with his left hand on m/n's right shoulder. in one quick movement, the map the boys had been looking over, was now in front of m/n as rodrick leaned down to look at it. (they were positioned in a "reverse-kabedon" but sitting down if that makes sense? like, the back of m/n's head is against his chest/stomach area. also why the hell are their chairs so small??)

rodrick had very clearly been excited for tonight, maybe even nervous, but it seems he had tried to hide it behind a layer of sweat and cologne, both of which filled m/n nostrils the second the other boy had entered the room, and only intensified when he got closer. but, m/n stayed composed (nonchalant ahh), letting his head fall back on rodrick's torso.

rodrick stayed less composed, clearing his throat and pretending he wasn't kicking his feet, twirling his hair in his head. as he read the map, he realized something and nudged m/n slightly, pointing to the "devil worshiper woods".

"oohohoho!" rodrick whined out, "going to the north side, huh? takes you right past the devil worshiper woods."

both boys' faces glided into a concerned look and the two older boys smirked slightly, knowing they had fallen for the trap and that their interest was piqued.

m/n put on a surprised face, adding a hint of concern before he spoke, "c'mon, don't tell me you freaks haven't heard the story about the woods?"

the boys both stood, looking worried now as these woods seemed to have even m/n wrapped up. then rodrick swooped in with his 'line'.

"well, there used to be this house," he started, picking up the paper and turning it towards the boys and pointing, "right here where the woods are. they had to tear it down because what happened there was so terrible."

"what happened there?" rowley asked, fear now plaguing his face.

rodrick continued and m/n hid his smirk, "well, a long time ago, two kids who were, i don't know," he rolled his eyes and looked down, pretending to think, all while m/n had been smirking next to him. he looked back up fast, adding emphasis to his words, "maybe in middle school, they trick-or-treated that house on halloween night, but the house was full. of devil. worshipers. who put the kids-,"

the room had started to get darker as m/n had moved up to go sneak behind the boys as they were sucked into the tale.

"-in these giant pizza ovens. and they cooked them. and they ate them. but they forgot to turn off the ovens! so the house burned down with everyone in it."

of course rowley, being the wildlife activist he is, had to ask, "how'd the trees get there?"

rodrick, not letting go of the spooky tone in his voice, replied, "and then they planted trees."

"oh," rowley stuttered out.

rodrick continued, "and to this day, on halloween night, you can still hear the demonic laughter of the devil worshiper ghosts as they roam the woods, looking for more kids, to sacrifice!" he yelled, moving his arms up to scare them as m/n moved in and put his hands on each of their shoulders and shouted "boo!".

the boys screamed and m/n and rodrick high-fived lazily as frank came rushing into the kitchen, asking the boys for help.

"are you two wearing... eyeliner?"(this actor is so funny bro. he plays phoebe's gay husband in season 2 of friends) he was stopped by the doorbell, "susan!"

everyone filed out of the kitchen, the younger boys ready to go trick-or-treating the older two ready to go help frank bring water up to the roof, before m/n drove rodrick over to his gig.

rodrick had asked m/n if he had wanted to come to his show, and m/n, having not signed up to take kids trick-or-treating yet, was happy to come. somewhere along the line of planning, m/n and rodrick had agreed to carpool in m/n's car because rodrick didn't need to transport his own equipment, as the club they were going to (i'm picturing something like 'the bronze' from buffy the vampire slayer) provided drums, and the rest of the band had volunteered to take their own guitars.

"can we go now?" greg complained.

"yes go. but stay in the neighborhood," susan called out to the boys.

rowley turned back to m/n before getting to far, "bye m/n!"

"goodbye, gremlin," m/n responded, waving back at rowley who was waving at him as he walked backwards down the walkway.

susan lifted her head up from passing out candy to the children who had showed up, and shouted a warning to the boys.

"no north side!"

"we promise!" greg yelled back, lying like it was second nature.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

"trick-or-treat!"

rodrick and m/n had each brought up a bucket and now that they were down stairs. m/n had taken over handing out candy for a brief moment, while rodrick ate pieces of candy, and glared at the kids that came to the door. susan had asked them to take over after manny had complained about being hungry and had to go find something for him to eat.

"so if the gig starts at 10 i figured we could leave at 9? so that you have time to practice, do sound check?" m/n spoke without turning to rodrick, smiling through the sentence when a kid would walk up to the two, who were sitting on the steps, handing out candy.

rodrick made no sign that he had heard him, and when m/n glanced over, rodrick had been staring intensely at his hands. he had a couple rings on, all silver and shiny on his fingers, the only pop of color being a ruby in the form of a raindrop, embedded into the thin silver on his right hand's ring finger.

"okay babe, look at me for a sec so we don't end up late to your gig," m/n instructed, pointing his index and middle finger to his own face, only being able to control his smile because he knew this was important.

rodrick blushed like a schoolgirl and asked m/n to repeat the question, before answering that 9 was "fine".

"hey boys! thank you for taking over for me. i've got it now," susan's voice came from behind them, and they both turned their heads, still sitting down. m/n stood up, offering rodrick a hand when he didn't stand up as fast, and handed the bowl of candy to susan.

"no problem, but we gotta go," m/n said holding up rodrick's arm so he could read '8:53' his watch.

"i'm gunna sleep over at m/n's apartment, so don't wait up," rodrick informed his mom, throwing m/n his keys from the door frame as m/n had started walking backwards down the walk way. he caught it with both hands and then waved goodbye to manny.

"bye mrs. heffley! have a good night," m/n shouted from the sidewalk. "bye frank!" he shouted to the roof.

"be safe!" frank yelled back, though not visible from the two boys' position.

"promise!" they both replied, their fingers crossed in their pockets as they walked down the road to m/n's car.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

m/n did not smoke in front of greg and especially not in front of manny.

and he was the same way with rodrick for a very long time, until m/n had the misfortune of walking in on rodrick, 'dying' up in his room, lighter on his pillow and a zip lock bag with, around a pack of loose, slightly-deformed cigarettes in it and 2 other joints, in his lap. he was coughing up a storm and when m/n asked what happened, rodrick said he had tried to blow the smoke out his nose, and 'forgot how to breathe'.

rodrick was obviously embarrassed by it but he needed to take advantage of the parent-less house, and an un-distracted m/n (greg had been busy playing with rowley). so they spent the evening, arguing over whether or not m/n should teach rodrick how to smoke, m/n being 20 and rodrick being barley 17 (guys its fine, i was 14 when i got high for the first time🤠).

eventually, m/n gave in after rodrick explained that he would "smoke either way", and that it was "in his best interest" to have a guide instead of "going in blind".

now, almost 2 years had passed and m/n had gotten a little more used to being around rodrick while smoking, and rodrick had gotten better at not almost killing himself.

so here they were, driving down a street on the north side, one blunt sticking out between rodrick's lips, pinching it after he inhaled, and an unlit joint in the hand that m/n had stuck out the window.

"hey look, it's my grandma's house," rodrick pointed across the road, on m/n's side.

m/n's eyebrows pinched in confusion, "why are there three, 13 year-olds in front of her house?"

m/n parked his car on the surprisingly empty street, after checking that they still had time to get to the gig, and got out of the car, finally lighting the joint as he realized that the three, "13 year-olds" were actually just a couple high school bullies. high school bullies that had greg and rowley, trapped in rodrick’s grandma’s house.

taking a drag from his joint, m/n walked up to the house, horns still propped up on his head and a dark red tail, swinging behind him.

"c’mon guys. what are we, twelve? chasing around 6th graders isn’t very nice," he joked, rolling his eyes before settling into a more serious stature.

“oh yeah? what are you gunna do about it?”

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

“my mom will kill me if she knows we’re here.”

rowley, who was sitting next to greg, both of them whith their backs to the door, replied, “mine will too. she thinks you’re a bad influence.”

“she’s right,” rowley said aloud.

while rowley was talking, greg could hear a car roll up and park. he ignored said sound, but before greg could continue talking, he started hearing some shouting from the other side of the door. greg and rowley turned to look at each other before quickly rushing away from the door.

the three shadows of the bullies were gone, but a new one was slowly taking their places. devil horns poked up onto the window shades, followed by the outline of a man.

the boys sat, petrified as a single knock seemed to ring through the house.

“guys its me!” m/n shouted from the other side of the door.

the boys quickly un locked it and gave him a hug as they spewed out what had happened and how they had been chased.

rodrick stood, leaning against m/n’s car, taking yet another drag of his blunt, before shouting, “you done yet? we gotta go, its almost 9:30!”

m/n rolled his eyes at the faux nonchalance of the drummer, before turning back to the boys and telling them to “go trick-or-treating for a little longer and then clear out and go home freaks”.

“wait, but m/n,” rowley started, “what happened to those guys?”

“i cant tell you that,” m/n claimed, “but i can tell you this,”

greg leaned in, “what?”

“that rodrick lied about those devil worshipers,” m/n started calmly, fiddling with a lighter, “we actually bbq’d those kids, pizza ovens were too expensive.”

the boys looked up at him in horror as he turned away and started walking to the car, stealing rodrick’s blunt, making sure not to take a drag before they were two blocks down the street, and around a corner.

"bye m/n!" he could hear rowley say as he sped away.

"goodbye, gremlin!" he shouted back.

m/n had gotten his seat belt on and had instructed rodrick to slip a cd into the car before either of them really spoke.

“so, what did you do with those guys? i was texting the band when you got out,” rodrick asked, curiosity clear in his voice.

“mm, don’t worry about it.”

“...okay…”

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

"...I got a stereo ♬

You just gotta turn the knob ♬

Well, maybe we'll go... ♬"

fall had passed, winter had come and was now on its last leg as spring seemed to be around the corner.

m/n had been busy since halloween, getting another job as a 7-11 cashier, joining a band, and helping his aunt set up the play she was directing at the middle school.

m/n had been booked since october, flying through work, planning, and parties. m/n had thrown rodrick's birthday party, back in november; spent thanksgiving with the heffleys; christmas with his aunt; and new years, yet again with rodrick.

but here he was, finally with a day off. no babysitting, no band rehearsal, and it was his off day at work. it was raining and m/n had opted out of socializing so he spent the afternoon just driving around town, blasting music with his windows rolled up.

that was until he ran into a strange sight.

a herd of small children, behind a slightly taller child who was clad in red, were stopped on the side walk. the older kid seemed to be telling them something but m/n brushed it off, figuring it was simply just the end of a school day.

that was until the smaller children started jumping into an open construction site, or rather were being pushed in by the older kid who m/n could now see was sporting a big 'R' on the back of his rain coat.

m/n immediately pulled over, honking the car and, to his surprise, seeing greg's face lift up. m/n rushed out of the car, grabbing a thin, blue jacket to go over his thin, grey long sleeve as it was the only thing he had in his car.

"kid! what the hell are you doing," m/n shouted over the rain.

greg, freaking out, yelled back, "those guys from halloween, they're coming! i gotta hide or they're seriously gunna kill me!"

m/n looked to where greg had insinuated the bullies were, only to see a familiar truck.

"dude," m/n groaned, walking over and jumping into hole to start lifting out kids, "that's 'fat boy'. he's my piercer. he did my industrial piercing and a couple others."

as the truck rolled by, greg could see that his babysitter was right, the front seat holding a middle age man, no teenagers in sight.

"...oh..." greg turned back to see m/n lifting the second-to-last kid out of the car.

"yeah freak."

m/n turned back to the last kindergartner, "lift up your arms," and was surprised when he recognized the kid.

"hi 'mr. ex-boyfriend'," the kid said, looking up at the dripping man in front of him, arms not lifted.

m/n sighed, "hi michael."

"my sister says she hates you," the kid claimed, having absolutely no filter.

m/n crossed his arms, getting colder as the conversation continued, "yeah, well i hate her too."

"i don't hate you mr."

"i don't hate you either michael. wanna know what i do hate?" he asked, clearly ready to get back in his car, "standing is this stupidly cold pit, soaking wet, so please lift your arms so we can get out."

all the kids were out of the pit and m/n had had to 'explain' to a nosy neighbor that the kids had started playing a bad game of hide-and-seek. soon all the kids had squished into his car, soaking the seats with greg sitting up front, michael on his lap.

one by one all the kids got dropped off at their houses and soon m/n was making his way to the familiar heffley house.

"next time you decide to toss 20 kindergartners into an unsupervised construction site, don't do it in the rain."

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

walking in on m/n changing had, in fact, been on rodrick's 2010 (or smth) bingo card.

he didn't think it would actually happen, yet here he was, standing still in the doorway of the upstairs bathroom, which m/n had been occupying.

occupying, half naked.

half naked, dripping wet.

dripping wet, half naked.

leaning against the sink with his leg bent into the shape of a '4' to take off a second boot (the other, already tossed aside) was m/n. he stood in unbuttoned, grey jeans, dark green boxers peaking up to almost cover his pretty v-line, that protruded between his hips.

rodrick gulped.

a sopping wet, blue jacket had been tossed into the bathtub along with an equally soaked, grey long sleeve but rodrick had only cast them a glance.

"you just gunna stand there, or..?" m/n asked, only looking up once he was able to slip his boot off.

rodrick's internal gears seemed to slowly spark to life, "...whaaaaaaat are you doing in here? not that i don't want you here! looking like that." he bit his lip, running his eyes over m/n, after breathily squeezing out the last part of his 'interrogation'.

"your brother had me fireman-carrying kindergartners out of an open construction site after he pushed them all in there. in the rain," m/n tossed him a sarcastic smile before asking, "you have any clothes i can borrow? preferably clean."

rodrick stuttered out something unintelligible before running out of the doorway and clambering his way up the stairs. m/n rolled his eyes with a smile before taking a towel off a hanger and started drying his hair with it.

heavy thuds came from the top floor before there was a loud crash, some more thuds, and then rodrick was in the doorway with a bundle of fabrics, branching out towards m/n.

"thanks babe, now i'll smell you on my way home<3."

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

"hey, gimme your arm!"

m/n raised his brow to rodrick, who was sitting next to him on his right. it was the night of the play and m/n had decided he would come watch, after all he helped put it on.

what he didn't know was that rodrick was going to come watch, his intentions becoming clearer once m/n caught sight of the silvery camera he had brought with him.

rodrick was now holding up a light grey marker in m/n's face as they sat together, the words 'löded diper' blatant in marker, on his pant leg.

m/n sighed and gifted rodrick his arm, quickly feeling the cool marker make its way across his skin, forming small doodles. m/n glanced down to find the beginnings of a safety pin, going through a heart, on his forearm.

the show started and rodrick took a break from the doodle to whisper about how ridiculous greg was gunna look, before m/n told him to shut up.

"come on toto! lets explore this magical path."

the crowd laughed as chirag dragged himself across the stage in a 'dog' costume and m/n took the time to whisper into rodrick's ear.

"you wanna come over to my place after this? we can stop for gas station pizza, my treat," he asked.

rodrick's face lit up, "yes!-" before he tried to act nonchalant, "i mean, sure if you want."

m/n just smiled as him, sent him an air-kiss and linked their hands.

the rest of the show went to shit, greg having got into an apple fight with dorthy, ending the night early. susan had taken manny to the car upset with greg, while frank comforted him about the performance.

before the two adults could get too far, rodrick called out, "i'm spending the night with m/n! don't wait up!"

the two said nothing, letting their son run off with their babysitter, hand in hand, sending each other a look.

"come on babe, loser has to give the winner a kiss."

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·