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A/N: I don't really care if people hate the Netflix anime, I love it. I want a season 2 right now.
the type of guy who would buy you a cowboy hat when you say you want to ride his cock
you don't have to wear the hat when you're riding him but he thinks it adds to the fun
a very touchy guy, he can never keep his hands to himself
Dante refuses to keep his hands away from your clit when you're having sex, it is a magical pleasure button after all, so even if you're doing most of the moving he still wants to give himself something to do
slaps your ass a lot, more often with just one hand but sometimes with both and always grabs you where he slapped, especially when he knows you're still sensitive
if you get tired he will lift your legs up, his arms below your knees and fingers interlocked with yours, before he starts hammering his cock into your sensitive wet hole
very chatty and will always tell you how much he's enjoying himself, or how hypnotized he is by the view of your pussy swallowing his hard cock, your pussy making his white pubic hair wet with it's slick, the slapping, lewd noise that your pussy makes when you lower yourself on him over and over
grins up at you and gives you a thumbs up when you make him come while riding him
when he wants you to ride him he will sit on the bed, pat his thighs and tell you to get on, and yes, he will absolutely also say yee-haw
has condoms in lots of different colors to make things more fun when he has to watch his cock go in and out of you
one interesting thing that he likes is to fuck you from behind but then he will stop, leave just the tip of his cock inside of you, feeling your pussy tighten, trying to pull him back in but he won't move
instead he tells you to ride his cock from this position
as much as he loves getting ridden he is still Dante at the end of the way, so of course he will find a way to be a cocky bastard about it
not like you didn't know that before you started dating, now your sex life is that much more fun, for having Dante there
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š¹ Roommate Dante walks around shirtless. Not even to show off, he's just comfortable this way. He sleeps shirtless, cook shirtless, works out in the common room shirtless.
š¹ each time he went out of shower he loosely wrapped the towel around his hips, purposely exposing his vline leaving you some space for imagination. He'd tease you while approaching closer in that state, the smell of his shampoo and hot skin driving you crazy.
š¹He didn't bother with knocking, just bragged into your room whenever he needed something, which resulted in walking on you while you changed countless of times. At this point he was pretty much familiar with your body curves.
š¹ your roommate left his underwear everywhere. You had to pick up his boxers from the most random places in the apartment.
"Dante, that's literally disgusting" you picked up a pair of those that were thrown over your laptop.
"Jeez, stop being dramatic. Those are the ones that been in laundry recently. I mean I think so... Yeah..."
When it came to your underwear, whenever you hang the laundry, he can't help but take closer looks. When you weren't around he'd sometimes pick them up imagining he just took them off you.
š¹ Dante steals food constantly. You buy snacks; theyāre gone within minutes. If you ever order pizza he appears out of nowhere like a summoned demon. Each time you catch redhanded he says things like: āYou werenāt eating that, right?ā while already holding the last slice in his mouth. The fridge is a disaster. Half of it is strawberry sundaes, pizza boxes, energy drinks, and things youāre pretty sure expired weeks ago.
š¹He leaves weapons everywhere. Youāll casually find a sword leaning against the couch or guns sitting on the kitchen counter like itās normal household clutter.
š¹ despite acting messy, he notices everything about you. Your routines, your moods or even what kind of day you had just from the way you close the front door. And that's where his affectionate side kicks in, he prepares a meal for you, gives you a massage, listen to your rants while his hand strokes your hair, his mouth whispering praises of how good you handle everything.
š¹ flirting was waaay too normalized between you two. He'd casually call you all those petnames like "darling", "honey", even "wifey" while he watches you cooking for him through half lidded eyes. He steals your attention on purpose. If youāre focused on something, suddenly heās talking closer, leaning against your shoulder, nudging your leg with his boot, hand brushing against your thigh.
š¹ Dante invades personal space constantly. Leaning over your shoulder. Resting chin on top of your head. Sitting way too close. Resting his arm along the back of the couch behind you. Living together meant accidental intimacy everywhere. Brushing past each other in the kitchen, he'd usually grab your waist gently to move you out of his way. Limbs tangled when you two cramped on the couch. And at times he'd even give you a playful smack on your ass whenever he passed by. That was definitely his favorite one.
š¹ He developed this habit of touching you before speaking. Thumb brushing your wrist, hand at your lower back, tilting your chin towards him casually. He knew that way he'd get your attention.
š¹ Dante can't stop looking at you when you wear his clothes. Especially if you walk out in one of his shirts unknowingly looking so comfortable in it. You usually didn't wear any bra under them which of course never escaped his sharp eyes. That's exactly why he loved giving you his oversized shirts. He'd often wrap his arms around your waist out of nowhere, sliding them slightly up till your breasts freely rested against his forearms.
š¹ whenever arguments got a little more heated up he'd always find a way to flirt the way out.
"You're so pretty when you're yelling at me, babe. You can continue if it makes you feel better."
He'd pick you up and seat you on the counter standing between your legs.
"Don't look with those angry eyes at me. Makes me wanna kiss you senseless"
š¹ he'd ask you to help him shave his stubble. You on his lap pretending you're focusing on the job entrusted, avoiding his knowing gaze while his hands roamed over your thighs and waist, sometimes "accidentally" sliding in the pocket of your shorts.
Hello Dehlia! I happened upon your blog after my sudden re-surfacing obsession with DMC and would like to know what it would be like to have the DMC guys as your bestie ride-or-die bitch?
DMC MEN as your best friend hcns.
Hi sweetheart! Of course, hope you enjoy <3.
Characters: Dante, Vergil, Nero and V
WC: ~3300
My masterlist
Dante Sparda
Your partner in crime. Your worst influence. He is the friend your mom, teachers and the church warned you about.
And despite it all, he is your emergency contact.
The type of friend you can call at 3 a.m. because you are spiralling, and he will always show up.
(Complaining the entire time, obviously.)
"You know I'd fight God for you, but waking me up before breakfast is reeeally pushing it."
Dante forgets important things but remembers the most unnecessary, useless details about you.
Your birthday?
"Isn't it... around spring?"
Your job?
"Something-something with numbers."
Your relationship status? A complete mystery to him.
But he does remember:
Your favourite band from middle school,
Which one of the members was your crush.
Exactly how cringe you were about it.
He has you saved in his phone under a stupid name or an inside joke so obscure it would require a five-hour explanation.
The type of friend who is always ā Platonically and shamelessly ā flirting with you.
If you know him, you know it's never serious. It's just the way he is programmed.
"Heyyy, hotshot, how ya doin'? Don't you miss me?"
"No."
"Well, fuck you, me neither."
If some guy is bothering you, Dante instantly pretends to be your boyfriend and has way too much fun with it. He commits to the bit like heās trying to win an Oscar.
It's so over-the-top it makes the other guy uncomfortable, but shame is not a word in Dantes vocabulary.
Now that we are on the topic, I have to clarify how overprotective he is of you. In his own way, obviously.
Like an older brother, he acts nonchalant, and he insists he "Totally doesn't care," but he does. Heās hyper-aware when something feels off, and sometimes that makes him a little overbearing.
In his defence, he lost too many people in his life; he can't afford to lose you, too.
"Text me when you get home, yeah? This ain't Wonderland, and there is a shit ton of demons out there."
Once, it was late at night. And he couldnĀ“t walk you home, so... he just handed you Ebony and called it a day.
"You know how to use a gun?"
"No...?"
"Well, you point at the bad thing, pull the trigger, then hear something drop, and that's about it."
āDante, I cannot use a gun.ā
āWhy not?ā
āFor starters, I donāt know the technique.ā
"The general technique is that you gotta try to aim at something that isn't you."
"Well, no shit, butā "
"Alright, gotta go, babe. Bye!"
His methods are a bit insane, but hey! They work. (Kind of)
Dante is genuinely a pretty funny and chill guy. He always tries to cheer you up and lighten the mood. Especially when things are bad.
You can vent to him, and he will listen to you, plainly and unjudgmentally. Just don't expect him to open up in return or receive deeply sensitive, articulate advice.
At best, you get:
"Yeah... that sucks. Wanna get takeout?"
A guy like Dante doesn't open up to people easily. So if youāre his friend, chances are youāve known each other for a long time, like Trish and Lady.
What's that? You want to meet Trish or Lady? Do not fret! Dante loves to introduce you to everyone in his orbit. He likes his people to know each other; it's like he is subconsciously building a little found family.
Which means you're probably close to, or at the very least, familiar with Trish, Lady, Patty, Morrison, Vergil and Nero.
And yes, you're part of this family whether you asked for it or not.
Dante is the kind of friend with whom you always end up sharing the most outrageous stories, "The Hangover"-level anecdotes.
Waking up in a hotel room you definitely didn't book? Check. ā
Marrying a stranger in Las Vegas? Check. ā
Gambling all your money, winning double, then gambling again and losing everything? Check. ā
Ending up at a police station for a crime you two might have committed, accidentally or not? Check.ā
Even if you are a low-key and responsible person, you always end up in the craziest situations with him. It's like reality collapses into chaos whenever Dante is involved.
The type of guy who always invites you over for takeout. However, you will end up paying every single time.
"Sorry, sugar, this one's on you. But don't worry 'bout it, I'll get it next time."
You both know he won't, but you accept it at this point.
Yes, he owes you money. Even if you are as broke as he is.
Dante has depressive episodes more often than he lets on. You know when they happen: he becomes quieter, more pessimistic, cynical, and he sleeps too much or too little.
Dante, at his worst, is completely avoidant. He won't answer your calls or texts for weeks. Sometimes, because he is on a job, but other times, he is trapped inside his own head.
So occasionally, you're the one who has to show up and drag him out from his misery.
Dante won't ask for help, not openly. But he will ask you to hang out and have a drink at weird hours for no apparent reason.
To sum up, Dante is a complexĀ person; his mind harbours many monsters, guilt, and nightmares, but despite all of this, he is an excellent friend.
The type of guy you can't help but love. Even if he is driving you insane.
Vergil Sparda
Being friends with Vergil is not an easy task. This is not a role for the faint of heart.
Having a thick skin is strongly advised (More on this later)
That said, if you somehow manage to become his friend, congratulations. You are very likely his only best friend for life.
Aside from Dante, of course.
Due to the lack of healthy relationships in his life, Vergil is an intense person with an all-or-nothing mentality.
This manifests in many ways, one of them being his complete inability to process and reciprocate casual kindness like a normal person.
For instance, you can do the bare minimum nice thing to him, and he will either take it completely for granted or malfunction entirely.
"Here you go, Verg."
He stares into space for a solid five seconds.
"If you require any enemies eliminated, you shall inform me."
"I just lent you a book, Vergil."
"I see..."
He is loyal. Not in a normal, friendly way, but in the way a guard dog is loyal. He will defend you in your absence, death-glaring anyone who disrespects you, or intimidating anyone who pushes their luck.
(He would stab them if given the opportunity. Unfortunately for him, Dante now supervises his activities, meaning Vergil is no longer allowed to kill people indiscriminately. This greatly offends him.)
Say what you want about Vergil, but he's a man who gets shit done...in his own way.
"My boss has been bothering me an awful lot lately. He is such a creep."
Vergil opens a portal, disappears, and returns five minutes later.
"He has been dealt with."
"Whatā what do you mean by that?"
"He has been dealt with."
You don't make any other follow-up questions, and that's for the best.
His version of āhanging outā is peaceful co-existence. He is perfectly content reading beside you while you silently do something else: drawing, crafting, knitting, studying, working, or reading another book.
While conversation is allowed, silence is preferred.
In the same vein, the easiest way to bond with him is to be bookish or interested in poetry.
It's just an infinite pool of conversation topics that do not qualify as tedious small talk to him. (Something that Vergil very openly loathes)
While not a talkative man at all, he is surprisingly eloquent when insulting people. Especially the ones he cares about the most. Cleverly bullying people is his way of showing camaraderie.
So, yes, he roasts you a lot. You'd be surprised at how much you get read by Vergil; he can be reeeally sassy if he chooses to.
"You have a rather simplistic approach to logical thinking."
"It seems competence continues to elude you."
Or in conversation:
"I didn't sleep much last night."
"Evidently."
"I think I handled that well."
"Objectively, no."
"Sometimes I struggle to stay focused."
"I have no doubt."
(I did warn you about the thick skin. Befriending this bastard is not for beginners.)
Thankfully, he tolerates your insults back.
"So, you chose that attire willingly?"
"I refuse to receive fashion advice from a crusty Edwardian man whose last time you washed your coat was before the fall of the Roman Empire."
Judgmental, he has the meanest side-eye known to mankind.
You know youāre his best friend when, after someone does something idiotic, Vergil immediately locks eyes with you across the room and is like:
"Can you believe this moron?"
Most would disagree, but I think he loves gossip.
He will deny this vehemently. He insists he is not nosy, and yet he knows everything.
He is always silently listening to people, and he remembers everything. Therefore, he can't help but know everything about everyone; he wants to act nonchalant and uninterested, but he can't.
"Admit it! You love gossip."
"I do not concern myself with trivial matters."
"Then, how did you know she was cheating on her boyfriend?"
"Please. Even a blind man could see the infidelity."
Or, alternatively:
"Hey, Vergil! Did you hear aboutā?"
"Yes."
He is not a "mom friend" by any means, but he somehow knows your schedule and responsibilities better than you do.
"Aren't you supposed to be elsewhere?"
"It seems punctuality still remains a challenge for you. You are one hour late for your appointment."
Vergil is a cold, aloof man.
He doesn't sugarcoat, offer empty reassurance or give compliments lightly.
However, he deeply respects discipline, hard work and endurance in the face of adversities. If you feel like youāve failed or want to give up, he does not dismiss it.
"You endured what most would not."
"You remained in the face of misfortunes. Commendable."
"Do not falter. It will pass. "
Unfortunately, he has a remarkable talent for making concern sound like a threat/ insult.
"You are not use to anyone being feeble, dehydrated and sleepless. Unless you seek failure, correct this."
"You forget yourself. Humans cannot tolerate physical strain as demons do. Take a break, you fool."
"You look pathetic. Have a proper meal. We will speak later."
"Attend to your health. No one else will, and neglect has consequences."
But sometimes ā sometimes ā he gets it right.
"You will succeed. It is inevitable."
"How can you be so sure?"
"Because you cannot escape fate."
"That's... surprisingly sweet of you, Vergil."
"Do not get used to it."
Nero Sparda
Nero is not subtle about his thoughts or feelings. If he likes you, you'd know.
There is very little slow burn in y'all's friendship. If you are an extrovert, you'll link instantly. If you are an introvert, he simply adopts you.
The one emergency contact that is actually competent. He answers the phone immediately, and before you even finish the sentence, he is already grabbing his jacket and keys.
"Heyā"
"What's up?"
"Shit, I'm sorry, Nero, I think I mightā"
"I'm on my way."
He is fiercely protective. He believes you have to protect your people with your blood, sweat and tears. And to him, friends are family.
Although this is very earnest and honourable of him, Nero is a man who thinks with his heart first and his brain eventually.
If you are wronged, even if it is not a big deal, he will overreact.
He has a tendency to stand directly in front of you, argue with anyone, and escalate situations at record speed.
Sometimes it helps, because he would absolutely fight god for you.
But sometimes it does not help. Like, at all, he will actually make the situation ten times worse.
Similarly, he will defend you in conversations even when youāre not there.
"No, you don't know them. They are not like that. You know what? Fuck you, you better watch your mouth before talking shit about them."
Also, if someone interrupts you mid-sentence.
"Hey, man. They were talking."
If you have beef with someone, Nero now has beef with them, too. He forgets the details, but remembers the vibe.
"I don't like that person"
"You met them once."
"Yeah. Didn't like them. Vibes were off."
Nero is too honest for his own good.
"You look like shit. No offence."
Or, alternatively, if you're not wearing makeup:
"You good? You look sick and tired."
"I'm fine. I'm just not wearing any makeup."
"Ohā Shit. Sorry. Fuck me, I guess."
Unlike Vergil or Dante, Nero actually tries to be emotionally open. Sure, he is clumsy; he overcorrects, overshares or blurts things out.Ā Ā
The same applies to emotional support. He doesnāt always say the right thing, but he genuinely tries.
Strangely enough, he is excellent at hyping you up, even when it makes absolutely no sense.
"You could totally take them in a fight."
"They are twice my size, Nero."
"Yeah, but you're more... fiesty. Like an angry kitty against a Rottweiler."
Or alternatively, while watching a movie:
āOkay, but likeā¦ if the situation were right, youād have a chance with them"
"With who? Pedro Pascal? Be fucking for real."
"Nah, you'd totally have a shot."
He loves his friends with a passion. He thinks you are way cooler than you actually are, and no amount of logic will convince him otherwise.
You will get dragged into his domestic life. He introduces you to Kyrie and Nico immediately. He doesnāt mind if you stay the night or if you make yourself at home.
Needless to say, you probably get along with them, too.
Nero is that friend who cannot whisper to save his life, nor be subtle.
"Hey, Nero. Be subtle, but behind you is my ex."
"HUH?! WHERE?!" Violently twist his head like the girl from The Exorcist.
Heās the friend who constantly tries to get you out of your comfort zone. He makes you try things you normally wouldnāt, even if youāre shy.
"Okay, but it doesn't matter if it sucks, or if you make an ass of yourself, it'll be a great anecdote later."
"Thanks..."
Also, invites you to places at the last minute and acts surprised when you can't go.
"C'mon, it'll be fun."
"Nero, it's 2 am on a Thursday."
"So...?"
I feel that he loves spontaneous field trips.
āHey, wanna go somewhere?ā
āWhere?ā
āWeāll figure it out on the way.ā
If someone flirts with you badly, Nero physically recoils and makes exaggerated gagging faces behind them.
"Oof, that was a tough watch, man."
Nero is the friend you have all your drunk stories with. Unfortunately, he remembers every single one perfectly. Especially the embarrassing ones.
He has at least 100 unflattering but hilarious photos of you, which he uses exclusively as reaction images in your private chats.
I know I've been nagging about how loyal and how much of a good friend Nero is. Which he is! But truth to be told, he is terrible at keeping secrets.
He will beg you not to tell him anything sensitive because the guilt will eat him alive. Yet, you tell him anyway.
He lasts maybe ten minutes.
Then he sprints to Kyrie.
Luckily for you, Kyrie is a much better confidante.
He is insanely competitive over the dumbest things imaginable, especially games:
Video games, card games, Monopoly, and don't get me started on UNO.
āThe fuck you mean I gotta draw twenty-eight cards?! Fuck this stupid game! What color? GREEN?! I donāt have green!ā
"What do you mean you don't have green? You have half the deck in your hand!"
"I know! I fucking hate this game..."
Anyway, Nero is by far the most normal of all the Spardas. So, treasure his friendship; he is a golden boy.
V Sparda.
Like Vergil, being friends with V is a slightly surreal experience.
For starters, he is objectively a strange man. I donāt think that needs further elaboration
Second, V comes as a full package deal, because wherever he goes, his familiars are not far behind. You donāt just befriend V; you inherit Shadow, Griffon, and Nightmare as part of the arrangement.
Someone artistic or introspective will likely get along with him best. Similar to Vergil, you get bonus points if you enjoy poetry. He loves to read and talk about books with you.
If V is your best friend, it means he is always there for you.
Physically.
No, like, literally.
I mean it, V has a habit of materialising out of nowhere beside you and scaring the absolute shit out of you.
āGreetings.ā
āWHAT THE FUCK ā since when have you been there?!ā
āEnough. Either way, here I found this book you might enjoy.ā
Like a good friend, he does check in with you, but in a very odd way.
He disappears for days, sometimes weeks, then suddenly appears at your door at midnight and asks how you are, like it's the most normal thing to do.
"V? Do you know what time it is? And where have you been?"
"Irrelevant questions." (A pause) "I have been meaning to ask you, how did your job interview go?"
If youāre feeling down, V isnāt the best at traditional reassurance. He tends to stand there awkwardly, clearly wanting to help but unsure how.
He isnāt terrible at emotional support, but he does have a habit of quoting poetry at the worst possible moments.
"Grief is but love enduring..."
"V."
"Apologies."
You and V are a trauma-dump duo. About 75% of your conversations are just venting. He listens without judgment because his threshold for weirdness is nearly nonexistent, so nothing you say fazes him.
While he isnāt always comforting in a conventional sense, he is actually one of the better Spardas to talk to emotionally. Heās not as closed off as Vergil or as avoidant as Dante, and he genuinely has a way with words. (Unlike Nero)
āYou do not need to suffer for your endurance to have meaning. Your persistence speaks for itself.ā
Whatās the antonym of pushy? Unobstrusive? Well, thatās V. He is quiet, respects space, and minds his own business.
Heās the type of friend you can go months without talking to, then pick up right where you left off, as if nothing happened.
Like Vergil, V is unintentionally funny, and unlike Vergil, heās significantly less intimidating. So, he is just an overall more approachable and entertaining person.
However, he has no concept of conversational momentum. Youāll be mid-rant, and heāll calmly interrupt with something like:
"This reminds me of a line by Blake."
He is also that one friend who laughs last because he didnāt get the joke in time.
You try to teach him modern slang, and he tries.
"That was... 'Based', was it not?"
That one friend who never knocks and never closes doors behind him. And once youāre close, he borrows your things constantly. Nine times out of ten, you donāt even notice theyāre gone.
Most of the time, he returns them before you realise. But sometimesā¦ he forgets.
He doesn't do all of this on purpose; he is a bit absent-minded.
One of your favourite activities with him is watching bad movies and trash TV. He observes closely, analyses deeply, and somehow understands very little.
"This narrative is... ambitious."
V is odd, gentle, present and surprisingly sincere. As your best friend, he turned into a quiet constant in your life. I told you, it is a surreal experience to have him in your life, but it is no less special.
Author's Note
Miss me? (Say yes, please), I closed the request temporarily so I could catch up a bit with them. As soon as I write a few more, I'll open them again. Ideally, sometime in January. I have plenty of requests half-finished because headcanons for Dante and Vergil come easily to me, but I struggle a tad with Nero and V.
Although I'm not one 100% sure of this blog, I might correct it in the future: I had a lot of fun writing this, especially the dialogue, but I think it is a little bit dull and monotonous to read. Like, it could be funnier. However, I think it's an overall decent set of hcns.
One more thing! I was thinking of finishing some Christmas Headcanons. But I'm not sure I will finish them on time before the holiday. I might publish it after Christmas. If so, would you guys be interested either way?
"Do you need anything? Another pillow? Something to eat or drink? I can cook something.."
He would literally do anything for you, make you comfortable, since you're going to be his future wife and the mother of his children.
He's going to be patient, sweet, and so, so, so caring for you, it's almost unbearable. Nero wouldn't leave your side unless it was the bathroom, and even then, he'd be waiting by the door in case you needed help with anything.
He'd be hovering, but not in an annoying way. He's just so fucking happy that your future child was growing inside of you. Like a puppy following its owner around after they'd gotten a treat.
When you broke the news to him? He was so surprised, his brain probably buffered before it registered to him that he was going to be a dad.
And if you were pregnant with twins? It was fucking over, he was so ecstatic, he went out to scream to the whole neighbourhood that he was going to be a father of two. (I just see him doing that)
Telling Dante and the others was easy, but Vergil? Vergil already somehow knew. Don't ask me how, but he just did.
"Holy shit, my nephew finally had the balls to do it raā eughuhuhā" "Dante, shut up. And congrats you two!"
Lady and Trish would be the ones in charge of the gender reveal party, since God knows Dante would fuck the cake up and just turn it into a gender reveal pizza.
When the cake revealed pink, Nero was awestruck for a solid 15 minutes, realizing he was going to be a girl dad. He placed the cake and hugged you, burying his face into your neck to hide his happy tears, knowing Dante would tease him about being such a softy.
In the later stages of your pregnancy, he'd help you with things as simple as carrying light groceries or cooking.
"Shhh, let me do this for you since you're carrying my little princess in there." "Nero. It's just eggs."
He would definitely talk a lot to your unborn baby, feeling how she'd gently kick.
Nero would do that thing where he'd carry your stomach to give you some relief, and he'd massage any sore areas where he could.
Prepared and ready for almost anything, listening to your midwife and OB, but totally panicking on the inside when the time finally comes when you are about to give birth.
And the first time he held his baby girl? Absolutely adorable, it'd rot your teeth. He was so scared to hold her at first, but he managed with some coaxing and encouragement. Dante took a picture of it too, dw.
"My god, she's beautiful.. just like her mama."
That's some of itā I might write an actual fic for it when I get the motivation, but I gotta feed the coup with what I have stored in my head!!! There might also be a pt.2 for this :3
š· pairings: dmc men x fem!reader
š· warnings/tags: just fluff + probably OOC
š· author's note: i have really bad dmc brainrot but ive never even played the games (don't ask how this happened) LOL. i kinda see these as crack hcs since im not actually familiar with their canon personalities but i hope u can enjoy it regardless!
DANTE SPARDA
always picks the worst/unhinged dialogue options bc he wants to see what happens
starts laughing if it ends up with people getting mad at each other, bonus points if they start fighting for real
"Ooooh no, he didn't like that! OH SHIT, HE PUNCHED HIM! GET HIM!!"
refers to every protagonist as dude, regardless of gender or species
adores mariokart. gets waaaay into the motion controls and nearly destroys the living room coffee table
sits behind you while you play and narrates everything to piss you off. makes a big deal when you mess up to tease you
"In a world... where she messes up every single quick-time-event-"
absolutely cracked at rhythm games, just dance is his SHIT. also really enjoys osu!
loves playing coop with you and distracting u with tickles or kisses till you get mad
he loooooooooooooooooooooooves making you mad bro is a master at ragebait
VERGIL SPARDA
he says games are a waste of time, but once he finds one he likes he will memorize every mechanic almost instantly.
huge fan of strategic games. his favorites are fire emblem, civ and mahjong. mahjong counts right?
loves playing mahjong online with other losers and beating them. however is sooo annoyed at all the fan service in mahjong games. he likes playing riichi city but had to turn on the family friendly setting and only plays with the default character.
hates RNG. avoids gachas like they are the plague
you normally game in the living room while he sits next to you reading a book. if you start to get emotional over the story, he will arch an eyebrow. he ever so slightly leans into you to comfort you
you definitely notice and give him a pointed look. he sees you staring, but keeps his eyes focused on the book. but damn him, you can see a little smirk form in the corner of his mouth
pretends like he isnt paying attention but definitely is. gets invested if the story is really good
makes a surprisingly good partner in coop games. he'll act annoyed but will carry you anyway lol
teaches you how to play mahjong so you both can play
you love it when he explains things to you
whenever he catches you staring lovingly when he explains the rules to you, he blushes a tad and his eyebrows kinda raise in surprise. but its sooooooooooo subtle.
he catches himself pretty quick but you dont miss it hehe
NERO SPARDA
loves horror games but jumps at EVERYTHINGGGG LOL ITS SO CUTE
screams like a bitch honestly
gets weirdly competitive about mario kart. he will not hesitate to obliterate you with blue shells but he'll give you lots of smooches after to make up for it
always wants to name his character something stupid.
"I'm calling him Boob lord" (he would name a pokemon this)
teases you if you get flustered over flirty game characters
"Is your face red?? Oh my god, it is, are you serious? You're gonna fall for that? It's so corny!"
thinks he can do better hehe gets a bit jellyyyy
loves couch coop. will sit way too close and will flick u in the forehead if you cause him to lose
"No you forgot the- oh my god, fine, I'll get it!"
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Riding that bandwagon, donāt ask me about my dmc credentials.
Part two Part three Part four
It had been a simple induction process, a quick cash grab of a job opportunity. Nothing too hard about a receptionist job, right?
Wrong.
What your boss failed to tell you is that he had no fucking idea what he was doing. Or really, he did, but then too many contracts started rolling in for his system to continue working. Which is where you came in, it took a few months but everything has finally been streamlined. Clients rolled in, and you assigned them to the relevant bounty.
It had been a quiet morning, as far as quiet can be when you got a text from your boss. Enzo didnāt contact you much, you pretty much had everything handled, as he would say, so he would only check in when there was a major change or someone returning to the roster. This was no different.
Dante is dropping in. Major mission wrapped up. Look after yourself heās a handful.
You squinted, Dante is a new name you havenāt seen before meaning heās a new, or old, hunter you havenāt met yet. Youāve met plenty of hunters that were a handful, so the text didnāt throw you off that much, you just made a note of it and moved on about your day.
It wasnāt until late afternoon that your door burst open abruptly, door handle smacking loudly into the wall. Now this pissed you off, because you had just finally got the message across to all hunters that you did not appreciate their barbaric manners, and it seems one hunter missed the memo.
Before the hunterās red leather trench could settle, you flicked your finger towards the door, āOut.ā
The hunter paused, frozen in his place. You watched as he scanned his surroundings, taking in the new office which you have basically personalised to your tastes considering Enzo never really did anything with it. After a cursory glance to disarm his scepticism, he looked at you. Taking your features and finally registering what you said.
āWhat?ā He blurted.
āGet out.ā You repeated, sterner.
āDo I have the right place? Whereās Enzo?ā He swung his head behind the door as if checking a hiding place.
You pointed at the door once again, before looking back at your computer, āYou must be Dante,ā you could see him perk up from over the frame of your glasses, āI can answer all your questions, but not until you enter my office with some respect,ā
āYour office? This isnātāā
You glanced up at him momentarily, refusing to humour him any longer. Having sense this, he laughed in disbelief.
āListen doll, I just came back from a long ass mission, I am not in the mood for mind games,ā
You leaned back in your chair, and smiled, āManners arenāt a mind game, and I donāt feel like fucking around with your attitude just because youāre tired,ā
As if bitten by your response, he stepped back and crossed his arms, really staring you down now. It was only about a minute but it felt like ten before he started retreating. You watched him walk back out of your office, the door clicking in place as he left. You crossed your arms over your chest, a full moment passes before you hear it.
A knock at your door.
This makes you smile, finding it almost impossible to consider that a knock could hold an attitude. You make him wait, shuffle a few papers around before sitting back, crossing one leg over the other.
āCome in,ā you chime.
The white haired hunter steps through once again, with careful grace this time, he keeps his eyes glued to you as he softly closes the door behind him. Making a sarcastic demonstration of it, yes, but most certainly looking for your approval as he does so.
Finally you stand from your chair, even with the desk separating you, the height difference is stark. You outstretch your hand, āYou must be Dante, Enzo told me youād be arriving today. How was the mission?ā
He looked at your hand, then back at you, āSuccessful, if a bit boring,ā he accepts your hand, holding on long enough to make you a tad uneasy. āWho are you?ā
You pull away but only because he loosens his grip, āEnzoās receptionist,ā
At this, Dante bursts into laughter, clutching onto his stomach as if you have said the most hilarious thing in the world. This grates on your nerves slightly, not seeing humour in your statement.
After a moment he stands, wiping a tear, āA receptionist? Enzoās receptionist? Iām sorry sweetheart, itās not funny. Are you sure weāre talking about the same Enzo?ā He sniffles, āSleezy, short little man Enzo? The same guy that can barely manage himself let alone staff.ā
You point to the chair in front of your desk, he follows your gesture as you walk around to meet him, sitting on the corner adjacent to him.
You smile, humoured, āThe very same if you can believe it,ā
āI canāt,ā he interjects, looking around the room once more, āI can see youāve done a lot with the place, maybe I was away longer than I thought. Is Enzo respectable now?ā
You snort, āNot at all,ā
He chuckles, taking a deep breath before relaxing back into his seat. You watch as his shoulders unwind, leg crossing over his knee as his hands clutch together in his lap. Itās now that you can finally see him without obstructed view. Heās wearing fingerless leather gloves, a long red leather trench, by all means should be uncomfortable with how it hugs his biceps, but makes it seem like the most comfortable thing in the world. This thighs fill out his heavy black pants, honestly, itās hiding nothing.
A cough breaks you out of your trance, only to bring you back with a knowing smile, āDo I get an introduction too?ā
You smirk, crossing your arms over your chest, āAlready? I was starting to get used to the pet names,ā
His eyes seem to spark, something igniting in him. He leans forward inquisitively, āReally? That do it for you, doll?ā
Before you can respond, your office phone starts to ring, itās an old dingy landline because Enzo refuses to upgrade something unless itās disintegrated. You lean back to reach for it behind you. Dante zeros in on your outstretched thighs before him at your distraction, he almost drools at the way your skirt rides slightly up your stockings as you grab the phone off the hook.
He can faintly hear you talking as he watches the way you absently rub your thighs together, āAt seven? Where? Do I get paid overtime?ā He watches as your fingers wrap around the cord, a playful smile on your lips, āAlright, just checking. Yeah Iāll be there.ā
You look over at him, only to see him already looking back with a quirked eyebrow, āYeah, heās here,ā a frown creases your eyebrows, āYes, here, as in sitting in my office, what else could I mean? Alright give me a sec.ā
Dante watches as you pull the phone away from your ear and stretch it out towards him, āFor you, sweetheart,ā you wink.
Oh, heās going to have so much fun with you. He smirks, standing up in the minimal space between you and the desk. Only because heās concerned the phone line wonāt reach, thighs bumps together as his hand envelops yours, bringing the receiver to his ear.
You frown in confusion, your hand caught like a fish on a line as he makes you hold the phone against his ear. Heās staring at you with a smile, youāre so close that you can hear the conversation.
āDante! Howās my favourite son? Back from the mission in one piece I hear,ā
Dante hums, adjusting closer as he speaks, āYep, all pieces are accounted for. The important ones anyway,ā
Enzo cackles at the sleazy joke, āHave you met my new receptionist? Thatās right, Iām moving on up in the world, a real business man I am Dante,ā
His eyes flick towards yours, holding contact as he responds, āYeah, sheās a real doll, a stickler for hospitality,ā
You roll your eyes, kicking his shin in retaliation, without flinching his hand rests above your knee to cease your jerking like a parent would to a child.
ā Treat her well Dante, sheās the only person holding down the fort for me, if you scare her away I wonāt forgive you until I see you grovelling for forgiveness,ā he threatens, āHer forgiveness.ā
This warms your heart, youāve come to like Enzo in all his incompetent ways, itās nice to hear him talk about you so fiercely towards others.
Dante sighs, his hand moving from your knee to the desk beside your thighs. Youāre caged in now with your hand against his ear, and his body leaned in close. You can only lean so far back without compromising your position.
āNo getting rid of her then huh? Guess Iāll have to get comfortable.ā
Youāre only half listening to the conversation now, having been distracted by the amulet hanging in front of you. Its ruby gem swings gently in the open space of Danteās shirt, when he leans forward you catch a glimpse further underneath. Heās built, from what you can tell even with his heavy layers, but heās not the biggest hunter youāve seen. Something under the surface has your senses on edge though, like thereās more to him that youāre not seeing, yet.
A gentle pinch to your thigh has you clueing back in. Dante is looking at you with a knowing smirk, as he hums into the receiver, āIāll be there. Canāt believe youāre putting me to work already, I should call Human Resources. This is an unfair workload.ā
āYada, yada, yada. You know youāre my favourite, now make papa proud, Iāll text ya later.ā
Dante straightens up as the call ends, letting you put the phone back on its hook. You look up at him from your seated place on the desk, thighs still pressed against each other, in an act of misplaced confidence, you reach up to flick a piece of imaginary dust off his jacket.
āGuess Iāll be seeing you in action tonight,ā you muse.
Dante hums, āYou can see me in action a lot sooner if youād like.ā
You shove him back before he can place his hands on you, āDonāt be crude,ā you hop off your desk, shifting your skirt back down your legs, āIāll meet you there? 7pm sharp at the front doors,ā
He nods, ā7pm sharp at the front doors,ā he reiterates, walking towards your office exit, before he leaves he looks over his shoulder at you, āWear something nice, something that will make the other men jealous of me. Canāt be that hard right?ā
You roll your eyes. When the door clicks shut behind him, you exhale deeply. You had a feeling this mission was going to get way out of hand.
writing these is so funnnn. i lowkey want to make nsfw headcanons for their devil triggers, too, but weāll see.
as always, thank you for reading and hope you enjoy !
yours, obscura
A = Aftercare (what theyāre like after sex)
Dante is literally a lap dog. Heās the more needy one after sex - hands glued to your limbs, head buried in your skin. Heās a sensitive guy deep down, and he needs the reassurance that youāre not just gonna up and leave him after getting what you wanted. Heāll go as far to lay on top of you just to ensure you donāt leave the bed too soon.
Heāll of course make sure youāre okay after. Heās already got a drawer in his nightstand filled with snacks and water on hand to feed you, replenishing any nutrients he mightāve sucked out of your body. Big on post-sex cuddles and pillow-talk.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partnerās)
Dante loves his arms, but more specifically: he loves your face when he flexes his muscles or lifts a piece of furniture without breaking a sweat. He walks around the house and office shirtless just to show them off.
If we know Vergil to be an ass man, itās only right that his twin is a tits guy. I mean, weāve seen Dante ogle at those adult magazines - the man loves a good rack. But with Dante, all tits are in fact created equal. Any shape, size, color - doesnāt matter. Heās grabbing them, squishing them, shoving his face in them. I think he also has a thing for thighs. Let him lay between them and heās in heaven. Heās even offered you a crumpled five dollar bill to squeeze the life out of him with them.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
This man is FILTHYYYY. You know Deepthroat by Cupcakke? Yeah, heās blowinā bubbles with sperm. No matter the gender, Dante is a fiend - begging to be covered in your release.
When Dante comes, itās more of a dribble/gush, than a straight shoot of ropes. āThe fountain of youthā, he calls it. Dante doesnāt care where it goes as long as youāre happy, though heās partial to covering your chest in cum, watching it drip down only to lick it off himself.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Panty thief. ((God, I hate the word āpantyā)). BUT ITāS TRUE. Your favorite pair will always go missing and sure enough, Dante has it either in a drawer at the office or stuffed into the inner pocket of his coat. Itās mostly for the reason you think, but he also keeps it for sentimental reasons. Heās a sentimental guy, after all. You two always squeeze in a good fuck before he leaves for a job, and heās sure to swipe up the pair you wore that night as a reminder of you and what heās fighting for, keeping it zipped up in the pocket by his heart.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what theyāre doing?)
Dante ACTS like a Casanova, a real playboy, but in reality, heās scared as hell of intimacy. Heās had a handful of one night stands and drunken hookups but they served more as distractions than actual points of experience.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Cowgirl, sideways 69, leapfrog (variation of doggy)
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Laughter is necessary in the bedroom for Dante. His job is awful, his life is literally hell - he needs the light moments with you to unwind and remind himself that thereās more to life than killing and being miserable.
This man thinks heās a comedian. Heās telling you a damn knock-knock joke, expecting you to say āwhoās there?ā while your mouth is wrapped around him. This being said, Dante is excellent at reading a room. If the situation calls for more serious or passionate love-making, he can switch off his playful side for a while.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Cāmon, weāve all seen the man - heās hairy. Soft silver hair starts at the stubble on his chin and goes allllll the way down to his damn ankles. Would probably be inclined to trim his nethers, if he was home more often or if you had a preference for it. Otherwise, itās homegrown and all-American, babeeyyyy.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Big olā teddy bear - kisses all over, sweet words murmured in your ear. Dante isnāt the most materialistic or showy lover, but heāll make you feel like youāre the most prized diamond in the world. Takes his time with you, makes sure youāre comfortable and heās doing everything right before he even thinks about getting off. Big on communication, wants you to talk him through it as he does to you. Heās not the most romantic man, but heāll definitely do his best to keep you happy and loved.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Dante will jack off if the wind hits him wrong. Itās an outlet for him. When heās sad, angry, happy, whatever. Heās not all that good at expressing his emotions, so having a moment of release sort of helps him let go of whatever is on his mind.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Breeding, humiliation, edging, impact play, pet play. Anything where Dante can let loose and let his guard down. All of these are reciprocal - heās a true switch. Loves to have you bent over his knee, hand marking up your ass as punishment one moment, to flipping the tables and having you walk him around the house with a leash.
PRAISE KINK. Dante is a glutton for your words. Heāll sit and pout til you tell him heās a good boy, or how pretty he is. There have been multiple occasions where heās come just from praise alone, cock twitching in the air as you whisper compliments to him.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Really anywhere he can have you, doesnāt matter to him. Heās always busy, so heās taking any chance he can get. The default is usually the leather couch in his office, since heās there more than he is home.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Dante loves a good sext. Send him a picture of you in an old band shirt of his or a message about how much you miss him, and heās almost causing a five-car pile up on the freeway just to turn the car around as fast as physically possible.
Is also stereotypical in that if he comes home to you splayed out on the bed in a piece of lingerie, heāll literally (and I mean, literally) tear his clothes off as he scrambles to you.
N = No (something they wouldnāt do, turn offs)
Sex for the sake of sex is borderline a no for him. If you two have been together for a while, itās different, but if not, heās not putting out. Not only does he have trust issues, Dante has a lot of insecurities and trauma. Heās not fucking someone just to watch them leave him - it hurts too much.
Danteās a pretty easy-going man otherwise. If youāre happy, heās happy.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
I know I said Vergil is a munch, but man, so is Dante. But in a different way. Dante is a tease, and loves to get you riled up in the most mundane situations. Heāll be stationed between your legs while you watch a movie in the living room, lazily licking stripes just to keep you on edge, or squatted behind you as you try to cook dinner. Heās a nuisance, really, but thereās no use trying to shake him off. Heāll get whiny and huff around til you let him keep going.
Dante is more of a giver. He almost never asks for oral and usually dismisses it, unless you ask specifically. But if anything, itās more for you than him, knowing how much you love to gulp down his seed.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Dante has a tendency to get a little too enthusiastic, unless heās purposefully trying to play the long-game and tease you. Heāll try oh so hard to go slow for you, make it last, but he just gets too excited. He canāt fathom that someone is actually letting him fuck them, and damn, you look perfect underneath him. If he slows down at all, itās only because heās trying to have a sliver of self-control as to not come prematurely.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Quickies are the norm for you two, not that Dante minds. Again, heās often shuffling a lot so itās rare that he can set aside a whole lot of time for you two. Any opportunity with you is fair game.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
I feel like itās obvious that Dante is an adrenaline junkie. He loves the thrill of new things. Heāll go as far as his partner will take him, as long as itās within reason and no one gets seriously hurt (or arrested).
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Back to back to back to back. The devil blood in him works overtime when heās in the mood. Even if youāre wiped after two rounds, heās pulling you back down by your ankles, asking you in that bedroom voice you love so much to give him one more, to show him how good and sweet you can be.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Dante is a big fan of toys. Heās holding a vibrator to you while he does paperwork, or heās shackled to the bedframe with a gag and cage around his tip. Probably wouldnāt be all that experienced with them initially, but once you two are comfortable, heās happy to acquire a good collection.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
The most annoying, frustrating man you will ever let into your bedroom. Dante loves to tease more than he might even love fucking you. Heāll spend hours saying suggestive things, grabbing your ass, toying with your clothes, only to walk away and act indifferent until you beg him to give in. Itās borderline evil.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Dante never shuts the fuck up. Ever. Doesnāt matter what youāre doing, whoās on top, where you are - heās either talking or moaning. Heās an extremely vocal lover. The neighbors have already put in two noise complaints from how loudly Dante groans and swears when you two are together.
Constantly in your ear, mumbling nonsense and praise. Whiny, loud, and obnoxious - and you wouldnāt have it any other way.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Thereās no section here for top/bottom, unfortunately, so Iāll put this here: loves to get fucked as much as he loves to do it himself. Whether you got the parts, or you gotta use a strap for it, the man is more than happy to have his head pressed into the pillows as you ram into him. Heās a sloppy, whiny, needy bottom, and Iāll die by that.
X = X-ray (letās see whatās going on under those clothes)
As with Vergil, Dante is not a small man. Only an inch shorter than his twin, he carries a lot of height. I think itās canon (?) that Dante is not as big as Vergil in the meat department. Iām banking on a hard 7, soft 5. Grower, for sure. What he lacks in length is made up for in girth.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Itās damn near incessant, even as he ages. Dante hasnāt honed in his devil side as much as Vergil, which means he has less control of his hormones. If heās not too stressed, heās constantly waiting for the next moment to get his hands on you.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Dante will literally pass out the second his head hits the pillow. Heāll stay awake for a bit to make sure youāre all good, but the second he lays down, itās lights out. And heās out for the entire night, snuggled into your side and snoring away til late morning.
Hugging Headcanons for Dante, Vergil and Nero that have been in my head
Dante: Isn't much of a hugger since he keeps people at arm's length. Literally and figuratively. There's a part of him that thinks he's a curse and his affection brings people to ruin. I see him as being tactile in back pats, shoulder clasps and ruffling hair. He'll linger in your space, not too close but enough that you know he's there. When he does hug someone, it's a full on hug. He's got both arms wrapped around you while swaying from side to side. Sighs against your hair because it's been a while and he used to be so affectionate when he was smaller. There's relief in the sound like he really needed this. When he pulls back, he keeps his hands on your shoulders for a second before pulling away.
Nero: I think that even if his adoptive parents didn't like him much, Nero still received hugs from Credo and Kyrie. Then his arm changed and he distanced himself from them and everyone else. The fear that he'll be found out if someone gets to close became suffocating. If you initiate a hug, dmc4 Nero would hold one side of his body far away from you, basically just giving you a side hug. He'd also grumble about it the entire time but he doesn't push you away. Even when the sling comes off old habits die hard. I think Nero almost always gives side hugs either because he's in a rush or the distance makes him feel less on edge about the affection. However, I think if you melt and wheedle him enough, Nero would give you a proper hug. It's not tight, his arms are loose like he's waiting for you to spook and wrench yourself away from him. He rubs your back and gives you a gentle pat pat when he pulls away. Never makes eye contact afterwards, he looks off to the side and complains about you being sweaty and needing a shower even if you smell like a garden of roses
Vergil: Oh man, the amount of time and trust you need from this man to get One hug is immense. Touch has equated to violence and pain for him for a long time now. He can't remember the last time someone gave him a tender touch just because they could. I see him as the type of person who prefers to share space to show affection like hanging out in the same room in silence. He's like a cat, he wants affection but he'll lash out if you give him said affection before he's ready for it. Vergil will teleport right out of your arms before they fully close around him if you don't give him a warning. Asking him "can I hug you?" Will result in a harsh look. Most of the time, he scoffs and walks away but the one time he gives a single terse nod, he's tense as a board. He doesn't hug back the first time or the second time but he doesn't stab you either. If he didn't want to be touched, you'd Know. His face is stern as it always is and maybe, if you knew him well you'd be able to read the slight twitch of his brow. After a while of desensitizing him to affection, of asking and not demanding, he'll raise one arm to wrap around you and rest his chin on the top of your head
