#dluos

“I forget that you and Shane are married until moments like these. I think germaphobe Hollander would have rather died than share a towel with me.” JJ laughs, and then they’re all laughing again, except for Shane.

“Maybe not with you, Boiziau, you’re fucking gross, man.” He chirps, smiling and rolling his eyes. “You should see the kind of shit he’d get up to in the Voyageurs locker room. Disgusting.”

JJ points a finger at Shane. “I was not as bad as fucking Comeau, and you know it, Capitaine. With him brushing his teeth in the shower and spitting on other people’s feet.”

Shane lets his head fall back just a bit, laughing. Marlow and Ilya both look mildly horrified at this information, making eye contact with each other across the table before breaking out into giggles. Luca sits up in his chair and somehow manages to almost fall out of it. He recovers himself quickly, his hands gripping the edge of the table while he leans forward excitedly. “That’s nothing. This guy I played with in Zurich, for J18? He would piss in the shower with everyone else right there. We asked him to stop so many times that eventually, one of my teammates bought him a pack of diapers and banned him from the showers. He plays for San Francisco, so he’s their problem now.”

Cliff turns to look at Luca with his mouth dropped open. “Oh, shit, you mean Hischier?” and then, when Luca nods, his face falls. “I’m rooming with him this weekend.”

Luca pats him on the shoulder sympathetically and wishes him luck, clinking his beer against Cliff’s glass and taking a long sip while Cliff finishes his own. Scott is howling with laughter between them, saying wait wait between one peal and the next. “Hollander wore his socks in the shower at his rookie All-Star Game.”

Shane has to pull himself out of Ilya’s side to defend himself. “That’s not even that bad, plus I forgot my shower shoes! Am I just supposed to go barefoot?”

“Yes!” Comes from Cliff, Scott, and JJ all at once.

“Roz, you’re awfully quiet over there,” Cliff says while filling his glass with the bottle Ilya ordered. “What’s your worst locker room story?”

“Probably your gross hair in the drains, Marly.” Ilya laughs, moving his own glass to where Cliff is filling his own.

“I’m not refilling you now, fuck you, man.” He replies, pulling the bottle close and shaking his head at Ilya.

“Ilya has a lame answer because he’s part of the problem,” Shane says, pushing closer to him and tickling at his side. “He jacks it in communal showers.”

“Fuck, Ilya.” Shane groans, tugging on Ilya’s curls where his hands are buried. “F’you keep sucking me like that then I’m going to cum before you fuck me.”

Ilya looks incredibly pleased with that, managing to look smug even with his lips wrapped around the base of Shane’s cock. Still, he pulls back, replacing his mouth with the hand that’s not currently buried three fingers deep in him.

“I want you to cum. You get so whiny when I fuck you after you cum.” Shane flusters at Ilya’s words, but pushes into Ilya’s touch regardless.

This might be the worst car ride of Shane’s life. Scott and Ilya are crammed on either side of him in the Uber, and this back seat is clearly not designed to fit three hockey players. To his right is Ilya, who is awkwardly turned with his back to the window, and on his left, Scott’s shoulders are hiked up to his ears. All three of them are silent.

At least, until someone steps on Shane’s foot. “Ow,” He says, trying to shuffle his feet away and finding there’s nowhere for them to go.

“Sorry,” comes from Scott, who shifts his weight as much as he can in the confines of the car. “Why didn’t we get a bigger car again?”

“Shane did not want to wait ten extra minutes for Uber XL,” Ilya says, looking at Shane and winking. “He is very impatient when he wants something.” One of Ilya’s hands comes down to rest on Shane’s thigh just above his knee. Shane smacks a hand of his own down on top of it.

“Stop it,” He seethes under his breath, turning to look at Ilya, who seems positively delighted at what’s happening in this aggressively small backseat.

“Relax, Shanya. Is not too much longer to hotel.” Ilya says, thumb stroking back and forth over Shane’s thigh. “Scott, is your Kip ever like this?”

“Trapped in the world’s smallest Uber with two grown men who fucked in a public bathroom 10 minutes ago?” Scott quips, sending a knowing look their way. “Probably not. He prefers Lyft.”

“We did not fuck in the public bathroom,” Shane says, but the flush taking over his skin and Ilya’s smile say otherwise.