the dizznees have hooked noses btw shannon came to me in a dream and told me to deliver this message i am the chosen one

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Germany

seen from China

seen from United States

seen from United States

seen from Germany
seen from United States
seen from Türkiye
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Arab Emirates

seen from United States

seen from United Arab Emirates

seen from United States

seen from Italy

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
the dizznees have hooked noses btw shannon came to me in a dream and told me to deliver this message i am the chosen one

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
(Mostly) Detz Headcanons Because I Can
Fitz reaches a point where he just really doesnāt care about strictly following as many rules as possible anymore (doesnāt mean heās irresponsible, though, heās definitely still the group parent) and begins borrowing Aldenās pathfinder to the forbidden cities when itās convenient
āConvenientā meant meeting the need to gather resources or follow through leads, at first, but then it turned into mostly taking Dex to pretty places he remembered from the Sophie Search
Usually, it goes really well; Fitz lovesĀ really likes the way Dex lights up and gushes about details of places he likes. He starts talking super fast through the grin thatās wide enough to break his face - if Fitz gets lucky, he starts bouncing up and down and pointing enthusiastically at things. Sometimes Fitz understands, sometimes he doesnāt. Either way, he always melts
...Except for the one time that Fitz didnāt realize that Paris was the place Dex had been taken when the Neverseen kidnapped him and Sophie. Dex had an almost instantaneous panic attack once he realized where they were
As soon as he explained Fitz got them out of there asap, and they just ended up drinking cinnacreme and hanging out (read: having snowball fights) at Rimeshire for the rest of the day
Dex assured him that it was fine, he didnāt know, but that still keeps Fitz up at night
One time Dex starts wondering out loud about the history of some cool ruins Fitz took him to and, to his surprise, Fitz immediately goes into an excited tangent about the history of the place
And thatās how Dex finds out that Fitz is a major history nerd
Fitz gets embarrassed afterwards because heās used to boring and/or losing people when he starts rambling about history, but Dex assures him that he thinks itās cool
Not too long after that Dex decides itās safe to infodump on technology and alchemy projects
Unlike everyone else, Fitz actually tries to understand him and asks questions ānā stuff
Even if it means backtracking a lot, Dex really likes it
Idk if itās official canon or not but I agree with the rest of the fandom when they say that Fitz is big on hand holding and kissing the back of his partner(s)ās hand(s)
And forehead kisses
And cuddlingĀ
(In private, heās not big on pda and neither is Dex)
Cuddling and forehead kisses change a bit when Dex is suddenly taller than Fitz, because it makes being the big spoon kinda difficult and he has to get on his tip toes to kiss Dexās forehead
Fitz (lightheartedly) freaks out over that becauseĀ āYouāre a cinnamon roll, I wanna be able to, like, tuck you under my chin and protect you and stuff except that I canāt now, what the heckā
So for a while Fitz decides heels and platform shoes are his favorite footwear, anything to be taller than Dex (who, to Fitzās dismay, only keeps getting taller and taller)
He has Biana and Della teach him how to run in heels and everything
Everyone finds it hilarious, though Fitz insists itās notĀ
Then Dex slips at one point and Fitz catches him just fine
And while Dex is spluttering and blushing like crazy Fitz realizes that even though heās shorter he can still carry Dex bridal style, so that automatically makes being shorter fine
Fitz still breaks out heels sometimes for fun but itās no longer a Necessity
It becomes a Thing for Fitz to randomly scoop Dex up into his arms
At first Dex gets super flustered whenever Fitz does that, but he gets accustomed to it and just laughs most of the time
By the time Dex is done growing heās at least five inches taller than Fitz so it looks a little bit weird, but everyone finds it endearing
Kesler and Juline were nice to Fitz before but once it became apparent the triplets actually listened to him, (having Biana for a sister has made him a master negotiator) they basically adopted him
He doesnāt mind, being at Rimeshire feels like heās actually living, instead of being Mr. Perfect around everyone except for Biana at Everglen
The Dizznees are also really good at ice skating, for the most part
So they rope him into that every now and then
Dex, Juline, and the triplets are like. Pro level. The former two are super patient and nice about how Fitz is definitely not on the same level as him, but the triplets totally poke fun at him whenever they get the chance
They always apologize when they cross a line though, so Fitz doesnāt really mind
Dex doesnāt really get many opportunities to have fun out on the ice anymore, so he doesnāt really resist too much when the triplets challenge him to a race or something
Fitz just chills on the sidelines for the most part when that happens, heās actually pretty good at being a cheerleader
What makes him feel better about his skill level is how within a week heās better than Kesler
Keslerās coordination skills just. REFUSE. to cooperate with ice skating
He canāt get on the ice without immediately face planting unless heās holding Julineās hand, even after about at least 2 decades of ice skating with an unofficial pro
Itās both impressive and adorable how when the triplets start skating towards Fitz, Dex will go out of his way to skate to him faster because he needs to beĀ āprotectedā
(He really does, but Fitz wonāt acknowledge it lol)
Sometimes Dex will skate in circles around him for a bit while teasing him and then leaving againĀ
He laughs the whole time while Fitz whines
FItz isnāt sure whether thatās worse than when he skates up to him out of the blue, gives him a quick kiss, and then leaves again
At least Fitz is better at tying shoe laces, Dex hasnāt ever bothered to learn the right way to tie them
Speaking of tying things, Fitz finds the lopsided bows that Dex ties onto the occasional gifts he gives Fitz quite charming
Dexās gifts are almost always something that has a practical use, and quickly become integrated into Fitzās everyday life
It has somehow made Fitz even more of a sap than he was before which Biana didnāt think was possible
A lot of times when Fitz gives him something heāll see Dex turn into something to fidget with; he breaks it down and reassembles it into something completely different
The first time Dex did it he had literally no idea what he was doing, and then when he realized, he was horrified
Fitz thought it was super cool though
(Itās become more of an incentive for Fitz to get gifts for him, someone needs to stop this man-)
heard at Rimeshire at four in the afternoon:
āJuline, Juline, Juline, Juline
Iām begging of you please donāt take my man
Juline, Juline, Juline, Juline
please donāt take him just because you can
your beauty is beyond compare
with flaming locks of auburn hair
and ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
your smile is like a breath of spring
your voice is soft like summer rain
and I cannot compete with you, Juline!ā
āKESLER! I LOVE YOU, DARLING, BUT THAT IS THE SEVENTEENTH TIME IN THREE HOURS.ā
āI THOUGHT YOU LIKED IT, LOVE!ā
āI DO, ITāS JUST GETTING A LITTLE MONOTONOUS.ā
*brief silence*
*equally as loud as before* āJuline in the sky with diamonds--ā
āKESLER!ā
What we learned from the Unlocked Map
The Dizznees and Elwin are Canadian - which makes sense, considering theyāre walked over by the other characters and simply put up with it.
There is an elf-graveyard off the coast of Quebec
Candleshade is West Coast
Everglen is New-England East Coast
Which reflects the Sencens and Vackers - the Sencens are new money and the Vackers are old money. As someone familiar with the difference, itās actually surprisingly accurate.
Mysterium is in Florida which explains why the Nobles hate it
Gildingham is in South America (which makes sense, considering it inspired the stories of El Dorado)
Havenfield is off the coast of California. So thatās cool, Sophieās close to her old home.
The Shores of Solace are in Australia. Interesting.
Eternalia is in Asia - but seeing as Fitz said that it inspired the legends of Shangri-La, we already knew that.
Atlantis is in the Mediterranean. Meh. I canāt think of any jokes here~
Foxfire is in Egypt. Thatās cool.
We already knew that Lumenaria was on the channel islands
Stina is a lesbian Swedish/Nordish Lesbian Unicorn Girl
Ravagog is in Russia
Loamnore is in Russia/Mongolia
I donāt really have anything for the other locations~
Your wish is my command, Ref.
Kesler was raised Jewish and Juline converted when she married him
People are often mad at the Dizznees because their store is closed for Shabbat but you know fuck them (it's normal to close things on Sundays??? Why not for Shabbat???)
Despite being a technopath, Dex also doesn't use any technology on Shabbat. (There are a few exceptions when he needs to do tech stuff for the Black Swan to avoid not dying.)
Dex is Not Good at reading Hebrew. The letters just don't make sense to him, why is it right to left, why are there no vowels?
He feels really shitty about it but he struggles so much with reading Hebrew that he doesn't think he could have a Bar Mitzvah
After maybe possibly almost dying in the first book, then not dying, he decides that being more religious is something he wants, and that he wants to have his Bar Mitzvah after all.
Juline and Kesler help him, and he manages to read a parsha. He doesn't invite many people, just his family and a few friends, but they're all incredibly proud of him.
Kesler knits Hanukkah sweaters for the entire family (Juline is horrible at knitting, so fuck gender roles)
Dex is always forgotten about just like Judaism is always forgotten about isn't it nice how that works out haha
Dex fucking loves weird looking menorahs, he makes them every Hanukkah.
He's also basically addicted to rugellech (is that how you spell it? I don't knowwwwwwww)
One time, a teacher gave Dex detention because he hadn't done his homework over Yom Kippur. He told his teacher he wouldn't be able to do anything because it was a Jewish holiday, but they didn't listen. Me? Projecting? Nooooo-
Kesler helped Dex turn that teacher bald. Juline, who normally was not a fan of Kesler and Dex pranking people, fully endorsed this plan and also helped.
The triplets take turn doing the four questions.
They are an entity of chaos on Purim, avoid at all costs.
The Dizznees don't really like the Vackers at first, but once they grow to tolerate each other, they often have Seders together.
Kesler's deepest regret is that he couldn't find rhyming Hebrew names for all four siblings.
Anyway, it was supposed to be a joke when I said I was going to convert the entire Keeper crew to Judaism, but...

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
dex, just working on something: onion rings are just vegetable doughnuts
kesler: sure they are, kid
dex: your stomach thinks all potatoes are mashed
kesler: okay
dex: lasagna is just spaghetti flavoured cake
kesler:
dex, oblivious: lobsters are mermaids to scorpions
juline: *crying* please sTOP
the triplets: no, continue, please
happy Fatherās Day to Grady and Kesler, the only kotlc dads! š
literally every tribunal
The Council: if this was a time of war, I would have you flogged
Sophie: but since it's not, we'll let it go just this once?
---------------------
*Sophie ends up in the stocks with fruit being thrown at her but it's really just a minor punishment*